Practices to reduce or eliminate the influence of lust

[Guest tao4joe]

Haha, this is discussion is cracking me up. So I guess if I am masturbating and I am stroking my own dick, does that mean that I like to stroke dicks? That I am gay?

 

hehe, I am playing with you a little.

 

You are right, it is a feminine approach, but it a male feminine approach. Feminine does not mean female, each male has a feminine pole within him; it is in his heart.

 

If he does not balance this part of him, there is mainly only one other source for this type of sensual feminine energy: Women.

 

For a boy, this source of feminine emotional nourishment is Mother. As he transitions to manhood, this source transfers over to a Woman sexual partner.

 

He will seek out an emotional/energetic "food" source through sex. Because he is operating out of the illusion that this source of "food" is out there (in women), he will experience Lust.

 

What is lust, exactly?

 

Lust = Desire + Belief in not getting that desire

 

So we want something but don't believe its possible to get it, that is lust at its core.

 

So you can either reduce the desire (which I don't recommend because desire is part of life and healthy, and leads us to create and grow and enjoy life), or we can change our own belief or perception of lack.

 

How do we change this belief?

 

We discover the source of feminine "food" within our own heart.

 

By opening our heart, we unlock our feminine core. By connecting this energy center to the sexual center, our craving is dissolved and sex takes on a whole new meaning.

 

It's no longer about feeding ourself and getting our needs met, it's about something much different.

 

Mainly, about sharing our companionship, growing, sharing our gifts of physical/emotional/mental/spiritual energy.

 

Sex becomes a means to create a new energy field that is the combination of both person's energy. This creates a living orb of energy that both partners operate in (you can call this the relationship, but when sex is involved it is much more).

 

As far as masturbating or not, either way is ok (as I see it). It's really about coming into more self love and honoring of self. Will excessive masturbating drain your energy, probably in most cases. Can masturbating give us energy and balance us, sure.

 

My current thinking about masturbation is that in most cases, it is a product of not fulling being "initiated" by an older male.

 

By receiving the "blessing" of an older man who shows you the male world, the male mode of feeling, the male way of interacting with the world; your cells receive a energetic food from the man.

 

Its as if each of the initiate man's cells are being "tuned" to the male frequency, and his entire sexual energy centers are transformed.

 

I have begun to receive this initiation experience from many men (as is probably true of everyone participating in this forum), but none were as powerful as from Eben Pagen when I was at one of his training seminars.

 

I had struggled with trying to not masturbate or use my sexual energy and then masturbating, back and forth for some time.

 

After going to his 2 day seminar, I did no ejaculate for 6 months, and it was not hard to do at all. I felt as if I was being rejuvenated from within.

When I finally did end up ejaculating, the feeling was so incredible and exquisite, it was unlike anything I ever experienced before. It was like an orgasm that lasted for an hour, showering down from my head into a relaxation of bliss.

 

I sense that this was not simply from "avoiding masturbation" but from utilizing the sexual energy and bringing it up to the higher centers.

 

As useful as these books, and trainings are, I believe there must be a body element in the training in which one receives the presence of the teacher, and comes in contact with their energy field.

 

Anyway, that is my unique experience and perspective so far, and each man will have his own path to discover.

 

Ryan, first off I dig the yangtown site.. recipe, urogenital exercises that strengthen a man and all very crucial to being true with taoism. But I was curious when you said "will excess mastubation drain qi? probably" Probably? holy mother of God.. when would it not past the age of say 24 or so? also what has sex with your girlfriend done to your practice of energy cultivation? Made you better by pushing your muscular and mental limits or held you back by testing you when you didn't need it?...

Also good piece on lust.. so true.

[Ryan Randolph]

Ryan, first off I dig the yangtown site.. recipe, urogenital exercises that strengthen a man and all very crucial to being true with taoism. But I was curious when you said "will excess mastubation drain qi? probably" Probably? holy mother of God.. when would it not past the age of say 24 or so? also what has sex with your girlfriend done to your practice of energy cultivation? Made you better by pushing your muscular and mental limits or held you back by testing you when you didn't need it?...

Also good piece on lust.. so true.

 

 

Haha, yeah I know what you mean about the excess masturbating draining qi but it usually isn't just the physical action that is draining, it is also what is going on within the mental/emotion body of the person.

 

If the intention is to "get", then the person is affirming a lack reality, and that action will create lack by draining the person of energy in that aspect of their life.

 

For example, a person who steals is affirming that they don't have the power to buy, and are locking themselves into poverty. That is one of the reasons why I stopped downloading pirated warez, since it affirmed my powerlessness. I even have a sneaking suspicion that excessive pirated downloads leads to impotence...but I am going a bit off topic.

 

As for "sex with my girlfriend", for a while now I have been focusing on individuating my energy. Basically, I let go of the women I was dating and have been focusing on feeling my energy, figuring out where I end and others start. Sex is such a powerful merging process, that if you aren't individuated well, then as a man, you can feel as if you are emotionally swallowed up by a woman.

 

We have all seen (or have been) the guy that gets a girlfriend and then suddenly ditches his friends, his work, his family, and just does whatever she wants. When you ask this guy what he wants, he will not know, he will have to "consult with the wife."

 

The reason for this, as I understand it, is that he has not individuated his emotional/feeling center (heart) and so any woman in his life simply plugs herself in to this center and then runs the show. Usually its mother first, then when he gets a girlfriend, she takes over.

 

The same process happens for women, when they get in a relationship with a man. If they haven't individuated well, then their outer life will be taken over by the man, where he wants to live, their sex life, etc.

 

So anyway, I have been going through same crazy energetic experiences, and I am still integrating all these changes, especially the sexual ones. For me, the process that is helping me grow the most is developing sexual self-sufficiency.

 

For a man, so much of his self-esteem rests in his sex life, and proving he is worthy and cool through sexual performance, "yeah man, she is hot and I f*cked her", etc.

 

Basically, its about connecting your heart center with your sexual center. When you do this, you look at relationships and sex from a whole new vantage point.

 

I am still letting the new reality sink in, and I am starting to integrate it down on the physical level. It's pretty incredible, how I see women is totally different. I no longer get aroused by porn, or by images of women, but I can get totally aroused by a woman in person.

 

Also, its not just her sexual parts that arouse, but other things about her can arouse also, like her legs, or her neck, etc.

 

At random times, and with random women, I will feel this incredibly powerful sexual charge where I feel like I want to just ravish her, yet at the same time, I am not attached to the outcome and don't feel any frustration or neediness.

 

Also, my erection strength has come back in a way that I get spontaneous erections very frequently, and when I do orgasm, it feels more and more like the first time; like a pure sexual pleasure, without guilt or remorse.

 

I think too many of us men feel the pressure from our friends, parents, and society, to "get a girlfriend" just to be normal. Many men don't allow themselves a time to be alone and get to know their own energy, to really dive deep into themselves and figure out what they want, to discover their core self.

 

It's like, when I got my first girlfriend, it was almost like "whew, I'm glad I got that done, now I can relax"...wrong. If you get a girlfriend just to check that off your life, shit will hit the fan.

 

As I've dived into sexuality more and more, I am discovering the sacredness of it all and am honoring the process, and myself, much more.

 

Anyway, that is the transition stage I am at, I am now moving back into the dating realm. Now that I have the tools and the capability to relate with women sexually and emotionally, and still maintain my power and direction, I can enjoy every step along the way.