silent thunder

the abiding release of simple saturation in paradox and contradiction without needing to endorse or reject, prove or disprove, accept or renounce... such freedom as considering a concept or notion, without having to accept it as legitimate, or renounce it as preposterous... freedom experienced when not complusively having to create a story about every sensation, to either evaluate and champion, or despise, revile and villify... this abiding body of experiential senses i use to type these words to share... unto itself, this body, a seeming whole, upon inspection is revealed to be comprised entirely of smaller bodies... each a whole unto itself and the whole of this seeming whole, itself but an infinitesimal speck, within the whole flow of the all in all. paradox, wrapped in contradiction, steeping in enigma... how sweet such paradox... clearest solvent and dissolver of preconceived and championed or reviled notions held in the way stations of 'assumed truths' and the dreaded 'truth by consensus' ignorance factories.

Well said... your words resonate my localized experience of it. The analysis and story developed around the series of compulsions toward what i crave and away from what i despise is what i find most folks identify as 'the ego'. It's never a thing. Not even a conceptual thing. That's the analysis of the movement, or compulsion. The story. Ego is a verb, not a thing, or an imaginary thing, or a non-thing. We are I experience 'egoing' when we i attach to a notion we i desire, or when we i attempt to shun away what we i despise. A fluid process, not a thing, or non-thing. There is no ego as a thing for me... but there seems to be a process that arises, a tendency of 'egoing' towards some manifestations and away from others.

Intriguing how this resonates with many Zen realization/assertions.

four part series... some gems strewn throughout.

A second chance helps, but what of a third? Soon it's too much improvement.

I've found spending time in a truly pitch dark, no visible light environment induces, or is a condition conducive to deep relaxation not experiencable for me in other manners. When not even my skin is forced to process and perceive light upon it, something deeply primal in awareness shifts in response. There's a bouyancy and a weightlessness to it... an effortlessness that isn't experienced when light is constantly cascading... We now have so much light in the cities... it's literally incessant. Simply closing ones eyes does not and cannot induce lightlessness. Some years ago, I was overcome by an unsought and unignorable compulsion to experience lightlessness again. I'd encountered it a few times before, when exploring old buildings and some caves in the Midwest. After playing with it again, I come to realize why it's a standard operating procedure for many inner shamanic paths and lineages. True Dark I experience as palpable, resonant, bouyant and freeing. unfolding... I recommend it highly. It's akin to weightlessly floating and drinking cool neutral bouyancy where i wasn't aware i had a thirst that only this could slake. We seldom, if ever, get to experience the relaxation of not having to process some level of light, through our lids, on our skin (which may seem odd at first notion, but for me, after time in a truly lightless environment, the lack of visible light is palpable). Even out camping away from the manmade lights, a moonlit night is filled with enough light that it does not require a flashlight to go for walks. My son now loves to accompany me on my night walks in the woods without flashlights. But in the cities... pfft... light is literally inescapable, and most of it is partial spectrum, (not going into that rant here, as just thinking of it, induces tension lol). Some years back I developed an unsought compulsion... a deep, unignorable craving arose and would not abate within me, for pitch dark... lightlessness, so that even my skin would not have to process light. Lacking a cave, I found a way to create a lightless environment in my home in which to sit and it's become something of a deeply refreshing oasis. Akin to drifting weightless on a calm lake at night. My experience of the relaxation induced by lightlessness is akin to the relaxation experienced after extreme exertion and tension. Often after tensing up purposefully either in forms or exertion, upon releasing, I experience deeper relaxation than if I had simply tried to let go of present tension and manufacture relaxation from the get go. Some folks I imagine, may have not experienced the liquid bliss of lightlessness since the womb. I highly recommend it.

the beats of our heart, and rate of breathing, dictate quality of life.

contentment

We haven't mentioned any of our favorite 'unintentional' comedians. Those who are hysterical, without intending to be so... Newscasters and politicians. Any longer when i watch them, are drop dead funny, particularly when they are striving to be so serious...

well said my friend! particularly when the board, players, pieces, rules are all generated from within... and reflect back. all aspects of the game seem to stem from storyteller telling story. who tells the story and who listens to the story? i find my storyteller asking... who is it, telling the story of the game? when does the game start and cease? what is this game?

I received solid advice at some point that stuck. For a long full life, cultivate three hobbies you deeply resonate and connect with... One that promotes vitality and maintains health One to recharge your batteries with joy and connection to life One to make some money Sometimes they cross over and interfeed. And sometimes they fall away and are replaced... let them. Life skill is developed over a life time... allow this.

I found wall gazing to be particularly intense and vivid. It arose for me, unsought for and spontaneously and was a bit unwelcome. Full blown cinema quality living flowing visions in blue filtered light playing out in front of my open eyes on a blank wall in the hour of dusk, over a period of months. At that time my practice occured during the hour of sunset and dusk and usually while holding the ball... after my eyes settled on the blank wall, visions would arise, unbidden and in intimate detail. I've spent some time in the candle's flame as well. I especially appreciate eye locking in a mirror by candlelight and watching the play of alternate faces arise and dissolve. So many not human. Reminds me of the saying..." our ancestors weren't perfect ladies and gentlemen... in fact, the vast majority weren't even human." ~Robert Anton Wilson

oddly... and oddly satisfyingly... I so far haven't discovered any Rules regarding conditions for winning and losing...

Seems it first was talked about in the 1800's. But it has not really been studied as of yet. The term wasn't even coined until 2005 when a gentleman brought it to the attention of a doctor after realizing he lost the ability to visualize after minor surgery. There is no known cause as of yet. A brief article about it here for those interested.

Hey shazlor. It's called Aphantasia: when a person does not create visual images while contemplating or imagining.

Live feed from Katmai @ Brooks Falls. First time I've ever logged on and not seen a single bear at the location. But the salmon are sailing...

being. presence. this is enough... for now.

hmm... best... what is best? if not best... then improve? how improve? how much to improve until best? who determines best? one thing seems certain... a lack of certainty.

it's not what i do but how i do what i do that resonates with meaning for me how do i love? openly? nuturingly? possessively? obsessively? jealously? do i make of my love a mental concept, or object that can be earned, lost or stolen? is the object of my love free to do as its nature dictates? or does the object of my love owe me love and must remain as i love it? many kinds of love some very loving others very controlling possessing how is one loving?

Thanks for the reminder. I haven't Wilber yet, but you're the second reference to him for me in the last few days. Perhaps it's time to get a copy.

love to me is a word what the word tries to represent is beyond words seems this word attempts to describe a complex of human feelings that are equal parts inspiring, addictive and potentially obsessive and even violence inducing. truly a contradiction seems love

hmm... I meant to type it, but perhaps 'turning the senses inward' ?

what is love?