silent thunder

and there always seems to be so much of it... particularly processed thought/news and fast food. Reminds me, walking through the grocery store with my son last weekend. We're passing the endcaps, he looks over and says "All bright colors and boxes. No real food down any of these aisles."

Hells ya. I'm down. And just like that, reading those two sentences reminded me of a book a buddy recommended years ago on this very thing. Funny, I almost deleted the post before submitting, really glad I didn't. Had I not read your response, who knows when that book would resurface. Ordering it now before I forget... again. Julian Jayne's: The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind.

I did it. So did my wife. Ancestry.com was my choice. I knew my family on my Father's side all emigrated to the Midwest 1850's-70's from Norway. a There was less info on my Mother's side so curiosity about that prompted me to participate. It was fun to find out what else is part of this fluid thing I call my body. I'm glad I did it. Results were more specific than I anticipated. And when I decided to join as a member, I gained access to international public records and have now traced both sides back to the early 1600's with very minimal time invested. I've got the membership for another couple months and will see where I end up before deciding if I want to maintain and pursue further. It was interesting to find out my wife's family arrived in the Virginia Territory in the early 1700's. No one knew or spoke of that if they did. As to my dna, they are welcome to it. 77% Norse 12% Welsh/Brit and 5% Scot/Irish 4% Russian steppes 2% Germanic. I'll just say this, if you wade into my dna... mind the hammers

When does a punishment become its own crime? I don't know who could answer for everyone. I sure can't. I only know my take on this has evolved over time, back and forth a couple times since my teens. It varies by the scenario and individual. I don't think there's one right answer. But I find it beneficial to check in from time to time and gauge current perspective.

I do. Won't speak for others.

...

I lean away from murder as punishment. I lean away from punishment at all. Isolate the violent, the dangerous. Stop them, prevent them if possible and then isolate them. Isolate and limit the ability to cause harm. But once isolated, why seek to heap further abuse on an already damaged individual? Why seek to damage? Cause more pain? There are times when I have inflicted great justified pain on another. They deserved it. I saturated in this justification as I said words that will hound them the remainder of their lives, eviscerating them mentally. Anyone can heal from a bruise or broken bone. But a few well worded phrases will paralyze and harm someone's reality through their mind the rest of their lives perhaps. Seems like sickness to me now. To desire to inflict pain for pain. I have only so much energy in life, in any given day. I'm gratefully coming to a point where I no longer have much energy for lashing out. I save my energy for protecting, for nurturing. If merited, if truly needed I will engage in violence. I'm no pacifist. No doormat. Though I notice I'm quicker to rise to defend another, than myself. And once the harm has passed and the violator has been subdued and stopped... there is no desire to heap abuse and pain on them. I have only so much energy in any day. I would rather apply it nurturing what I love, than harming what I despise.

While it may be explained to you... it cannot be understood for you. ~ anon

You're right on time.

The Dao of Dad While any fertile man can potentially father a child... not everyone is capable of being a Dad. A thread to share about your Father, or your Dad. A place to honor, or vent... and not be shamed. Share or not, it's up to you. Here are my two experiences with Fathers... as antipodal as they come. I really won the lottery when it came to my Father... my Dad. Out of 6 billion people (when I was born), I got Spencer Brian for a Father. Invaluable beyond imagining the gift of having this man as my Dad. His intelligence and fiercely keen intellect were only outmatched by his humor and his love of nature. He nurtured exploration. He cultivated critical thinking in the way he phrased open questions that prodded one to explore and come to one's own conclusions and was reticent to ever offer outright answers. He encouraged participation in life full throttle. Really live, right or wrong, be there. Participate! He was a fierce materialist and often gave me skads of shit for my energetic perceptions and woo woo ways. God how I miss that! But in all my time with him... no matter how fundamentally we disagreed on something, even when he was picking me up at the police station... not only did my Dad never hit me, he never spoke unkindly to me. Never once did he put me down, assault me with his assumptions, or chastise me. He had no need to. He was comfortable with who he was and he accepted I was not him. So we could meet and overlap or not overlap as was authentic to our nature. He had no compunctions about calling out dangerous or dumbass behavior. But never once in the midst of said chastising did I for a moment feel that he rejected me, or didn't love me, or nurture me that I might thrive. When he passed... and every. single. day. since. I am overwhelmed by gratitude that out of this 14 billion year spinning universe, I had the chance and unbelievable fortune to meet and spend time with that man, let alone have him for a Father. Truly, what greater gift is there? Did I earn this? no. It's just how things were for me. That's my experience with fatherhood. My other intimate experience of a father is the antipodal extreme of my own and is my experience with the man who fathered (and tortured) my wife throughout her childhood. My wife had the opposite experience of fatherhood. The man who fathered her, is a tyrant and a bully. He manipulated oversaw ever miuntea (including how many pieces of tp she could wipe her ass with) her entire life to the age of 19 when she escaped his influence of violence, threat and terror and moved in with me. Her father operates from an assumption of absolute Naive Realism wherein, he assumes he sees the world the way it really is and if you don't agree with his take on things, you are wrong. end of story. He operates with the entire world on the three levels of truth. He respects force and obedience above all other attributes. Loving, nurturing, compassion, understanding, empathy, sympathy are all weaknesses to be driven relentlessly from their host as if a disease. He operates on the three levels of truth. he knows the truth and he explains the truth to you fairly, calmly and openly, because he knows the truth and you must as well. if you don't agree can't understand the truth after he has calmly shown you what it is, he then begins shouting and yells the truth at you, in an effort to intimidate you into following the truth even if you don't 'get it'. finally, if these two don't work, he then feels obligated to beat the truth into you, for your own good. To not do this by his own admission, is a dereliction of his duty as one who knows the truth. repeat 2 and 3 as needed. Did she earn this? No. It's just how things were for her. I'm reminded of the impact the following exchange had on me when I heard it and when I recall it now. Having come from a home with such a father as I had, realizing how different it was for others is traumatizing in itself, particularly when it's someone we admire, love and respect. It's from the 1989 movie Parenthood and is a very brief exchange between Diane Weist who plays Helen and Keanu Reeves who plays Todd Higgins. The writing is keen and insightful in the extreme for me. It goes like this: In the kitchen Helen addressing a concern over her son. Helen: I guess a boy Gary's age really needs a man around. Todd: Yea, well... mmm... depends on the man. I had a man around. He used to wake me up in the morning by flicking lit cigarettes at my head. "hey asshole, get up and make me breakfast!". You know, Mrs. buckman, you need a license to buy a dog. You need a license to drive a car. Hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father. here's the scene itself Then there's the Father that I am now, my son is 13. That book is being written...

While going through my Dad's belongings. I tried on some of his shoes. I grinned and chuckled when I found I could not quite fill them.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then laziness is the father. ~ anon

in literal terms what is a body? what is it but a collection of food that is acquired and maintained for a time? this body, that i was taught by my loving materialist father is my most concrete and real 'self' my only real self, how is it thi is comprised only of that which is outside it, that which is not me? that which the materialist considers himself, is comprised only of that which he considers himself not to be. what is not the body, becomes the body this body is a process of the acquisition of food mingling with awareness my body is a collection of ingested food. food that was not my body, before i chewed and swallowed. food that was earth and sunshine and rain. food that was a lively pig. hours ago it was earth and sun and rain, it was broccoli now it is perhaps fingernail and heart tissue and part of a turd what magic is this? to whom, if any does this body or anything belong? where then can it be said that I stop and the rest of the unvierse begins?

In regards to this topic, I hear @rene very clearly. and she's saying...

such a simple joy. teachers arise everywhere... literally all about us... nature always communicating. are we listening? and if we hear, can we comprehend?

I hear what you're saying and when in a certain frame of mind, can even agree with it. But it doesn't last anymore. That mindset cannot self sustain. The food for it has grown thin and lacks potency. In the center of the wheel, there is no centrifugal force, no inertia. 829 pages and counting of folks who all consider they have a bead on what is 'objectively right' and yet there is not much agreement... aside from everyone considering they are right.

it's still going...

Haters are not seeking a conversation, they crave the expansion of their hate. Haters do not engage in communication, they vomit bile in the hopes of spreading misery and killing joy. Killing joy in others is of paramount importance. My response is usually to not merit such with any response Sometimes it seems prudent to listen, or read what they have to say and then respond without malice, without escalating in a way that then disengages and removes further connection. My usual response if one seems merited is a simple "ok." It's ok for you to think and feel this way. I acknowledge you, your thoughts and your feelings. I hear you and acknowledge such. This is the extent of it though. No need to defend against or engage further. Don't engage or acknowledge repeats or rephrasing of same. Disengage toxicity. Life is precious and short. When I realize I've wandered into a toxic bog, I don't stick around. I move on. I don't blame the bog, or my perspective of it. When I step in dog shit, I move on and wash. I don't step in it again and again to show it who's boss... And remember, it's not possible to have a conversation with someone seeking to create conflict and argument.

still funny though it sure would, but who determines what is right?

We share our home with three cats. A Short Hair, a Maine Coon and a Norwegian Forest. I often have waterfall, or rain or birdsong youtubes on in the background to offset street noise or the sound of our neighbor rehearsing (vegas lounge singer). The Coon and the Norwegian will watch for quite a while... the short hair she's having none of it. "can't smell em, they're not real."

If you give someone $100 and never see them again, it is probably money well spent. ~anon