silent thunder

realization for me, reveals all notions of gods... self... other... all conceptual mental processes and creations... as living puppets of mist... sustained by my own mental inertia. a mist that occludes... simple presence. awareness. to embody the simplest clarity of beingness, i had to release all else... so these objects of mind and processes of seeking would stop drowning out and covering in mist, the truth of raw awareness release the gods, the thoughts of should and shouldn't, notions of proper and improper realization for me remained hidden, in the end, by my own beloved meditations. what a love meditations were to me... that liquid blissful sitting and qi gonging... became its own occlusion to realization even this loving stillness and joyful motion occluded what was most natural, foundational in the end, the last remaining occlusion to realization, was the very desire to acquire realization this is what drove me to drop all practice in a form of rigid pursuit, or a regimented control factor all forms of meditation still occur, but spontaneously, without prior intent and forethought they arise as natural responses to the world which is an extension of my very presence as inner exhales into outer and outer inhales the two mirror the truth of one awareness wei wu wei... action without forcing... effortless force in spontenaity realization for me could not be realized, while trying to realize it

peacefulness yes... utterly bouyant, effortless simplicity. it's the most ordinary thing... which is why it's so densely hidden... so hard to encounter. why the masters call us to quiet down, stillness, silence, clarity is born of these so utterly natural and ordinary, it lay beneath notice. are fish aware of the water in which they swim? Where sensory information is available, it tends to dominate awareness. This is why I suspect waking lay for me, not in diligent striving but in... stillness, simplest presence... breathingness. release. only in the clarity and silence of stillness, when all else had fallen away, either through release, or fatigue of no longer being able to maintain was i able to realize it, that i am this... this is it. the simplest, most effervescent and gossamer of truths, only perceptible, when my mind ceased conjuring processes, stopped imagining some secret off 'out there' to be acquired and added to me. such simple madness! the very creation of the treadmill of non realizing was the desire and effort spent trying to realize what is utterly apparent when all is accepted, released and drops away revealing... only awareness. when i finally lapsed into such fatigue that i could no longer maintain the stories and all the teachings and learnings i had acquired... the knowledgable acquire something every day... strive to 'get better' the wise drop these... release all things into pure beingness. drop all of it and what remains for me presence. awareness. while seeking, I embody seeking and this is a layer upon raw beingness this is why for me, while engaged in diligence, in effort, in striving, the motion outward, to seek and acquire some aspect of me that I as of yet did not possess... was the very thing hiding from me, the realization of the truth of being awareness is... i am this... this is it.

wars... so seldom fought by those who start them and profit on them... fought by the young, convinced that they are stamping out demons... but our foes are simple humans. More in common with us than apart, no matter how far from home they seem... truly... what if one day... no one showed up? what if one fine day... young folks realized they can spend their energy building what they love, instead of seeking things to despise and destroy...? what a day! oh, that day is now. hate never heals hate... only love can do that. yet how to love my enemy? who is my enemy? who am i?

Gods as collectively created Tulpas... potent. If indeed as Buddha said...'be careful what you allow yourself dwell on and think, for it becomes your reality'. Then the gods/tulpas/realms created by collective mind are as real as anything else in the realms of mind. I'm reading Neil Gaiman's American Gods where Neil posits a burgeoning War between the Old World Gods brought to America by their followers who, (loosely and reluctantly brought together into a coalition by the remnant of Odin), are struggling in the modern world and under attack by the New Gods of America and the West. The Gods of Television, Credit Banking, Advertising, Cars... etc. Potent to consider the reality of that which we spend our mind energy upon garnering sufficient inertia to take on its own life essence. Really has me wanting to reign in even further what I allow myself to consider, mull over and dwell on mentally. Gods as the collective Tulpas of cultures. The alchemical process of The Golden Flower and the Golden Fetus. Me creating a personal tulpa of pure yang... birthing it and then possessing it. Interesting stuff to wake up to... thanks again gang. This place is amazing.

I had glimpses of waking throughout my decades of seeking. Briefly opened windows onto the raw potent, simple beauty of it. That which is... then gone... back to searching... where did that come from? Who has it? Can they give it to me? Every time the bellows shifted, the glimpse would pass and I'd be back to 'seeking it'... seeking everywhere but here... seeking with desperation... with all my power, all my strength, all my mind. Seeking in others, from teachers, from books, from places in nature, seeking it from the right dietary restrictions, from the right soaps. But always somehow sure that I needed something outside of me to show me, to unlock in me the truth. Seeking always to achieve something external, to grasp something that I always assumed was 'out there'. I perceive so clearly now how that very seeking was what impeded the simple realization. Rather than seek elsewhere for that which already abides... within. Release. Be. Strip away, release and let go of every notion, intention, thought and seeking impulse. What remains is... it. The very act, impulse and desire of seeking occludes the realization of what is... When utter spiritual and physical exhaustion led me to completely surrender and give up, in suicidal despair. While lying in complete quiet and solitude, in the midst of one of the greatest cities of the modern world. When I had released all notions I previously held... all desires, all concepts of should and shouldn't... When I had release everything... one thing remained. I am aware. This is it!

Thanks for posting these mate.

Been learning from the animals, plants and insects all my life. I've also lived with several zen masters... all of them feline.

Hey Bud! I have the next few weeks completely open of all engagements aside from being and presence and an as yet unplanned solo camping trip. Are you in town any time soon?

majestic

shift

dancing

snuggle

two lip

nature's filter

I appreciate the concept used in the Greek language with their nouns. If I am holding an apple in my hand and offering it to you, that is one word. If we are discussing the concept of an apple, the formless idea of apples in general... then that is another word. But too damn lazy to learn Greek and move there to enjoy the use of it. alas... what a quagmire I'm in

One of the Live feeds we watch. It's from a ranger station in Katmai Park. Brown Bears continually fishing for salmon at this site... we've counted over two dozen at times.

I'm still on this. It's on all day, every day... for weeks now.

Wang Li Ping's book: Ling Bao Tong Zhi Neng Nei Gong Shu translated by Richard Liao is a very practical guide from an 18th generation lineage holder whose method dates back to 861 and Qiu Chu Ji. And thanks for the reminder, think I'll revisit this one myself.

who determines good from bad? who is the arbiter of truth? who affirms such decisions as just and true?

Ah-choo!

without eyes... where does light exist?