silent thunder

I love finally being able to accept when I don't know shit... it's very freeing.

In general, energy flows up my Du channel and down the Ren. Up the back, down the front, starting and ending in the lower dan tien. In some forms, I will engage my energy and reverse the flow, moving up the Ren and down Du. This can be likened to a hand, moving against the flow of water in a creek. The hand does not change the flow of the creek, but the hand may clear out some leaves and blockages by moving counter to the flow..

*deep bow* Thanks Marblehead, I knew you were on to something potent here. That is a well worded sharing of some keen insights about rather difficult realizations. Those insights are certainly not easy ones to hold in mind and not reject outright due to subjectivity and personal feelings. It took many years for me... decades even, to be able to ingest and process some aspects of the DDJ. This being one of the most sticky/potent sections. I happen to share your views on this to the letter it would seem. Some time ago it settled in me, that there are no 'supernatural', or 'unnatural' occurences and that nothing that occurs in the manifest is out of accord with dao. Those things I used to consider out of accord with dao, or unnatural, are things that occur that do not match my own personal understanding of life and don't match my own personal sense of right and wrong. Supernatural is no longer a functional concept to me either... as anything that manifests and occurs in nature, by definition, is natural, not above it, or beyond it. We may refer to things as supernatural because we don't understand them, but this is a personal distinction, not a universal truth. Cities and plastic in particular, used to seem unnatural to me. No longer. Cities are what human beings do naturally. If there had only been one city in the history of the planet, perhaps it would seem like an anomoly to me, but it is evident to me now, that cities, plastic and all other human pursuits, are utterly natural to the process of humans... now that has no bearing on whether I find them personally acceptable, or tolerable at all. In the personal feeling department, I accept that I would fight against Hitler and any like him, every time I encountered them, because it seems unnatural to me, abhorrent. Yet both types of humans manifest from dao in nature and thus are both natural. A deeper understanding of this settled on me one day, walking in the rain. Something that had eluded me for decades with the teachings of Dao. Rain falls on the healer and the murderer, without distinction... it takes no sides. Yet in the deserts rain grows thorns and in the garden... vegetables and flowers. Sun shines on all equally. The Dao takes no sides. All are treated like straw dogs. Straw Dogs are venerated and carried around with honor in their time of the festival (they are fashioned and carried around, venerated through the day and worshipped, played with and held up with joy), then at the end of the festival, they were dropped unceremoniously to the ground and went back to being just the straw that was strewn daily to help keep the mud at bay. My own body is like this... fashioned and venerated by those who care for and love me, personally, but at the end of my festival, my body will without delay, begin to break down again and release back into its basic parts... without distinction or the least worry by natural process. There is nothing personal but what we make it. Some time after really getting the neutrality of the manifestation and breaking down of forms in nature, this next thought pile drove through my old paradigm and blessedly and painfully reworked my sense of right and wrong. Everything I Love... and everything i despise... manifest from one source. So the difference between the two, must lie in me. Murderers act naturally. To me, their actions are utterly abhorrent and I will use every breath and ounce of my skill to fight against them, yet in my center, I know, murderers are as Natural as a flood, or a forest fire... or a family of lions tearing out the belly of a mother and calf Wildebeast. I accept they are natural, and I also accept that it is my nature, to resist that which is abhorrent to my own sense of acceptable. Not an easy place to occupy mentally. Not often I can sit with these concepts long enough to put words to them this way. Again, thank you Marble... I consider you a good friend and you have broadened my understanding many times here with your perspective and sharing. You give much of yourself here and it is deeply appreciated.

Nice! About to have some down time... I'll check it out.

Dream work is foundational in my process. To my entire life, really... I have lived my entire life, with the unshakable sense... that one moment I will awaken withing 'real life'... in the same way, I become lucid in my dreams every night...

I don't think it's serious at all. That however has no impact on how sincere it may be... which I suspect... it well may be quite sincere.

I would deeply appreciate you sharing any more details about this further, or pointing to where you've already discussed it, if so...

I'm back up to my fighting weight these days... too fat to run away!

wyrd sisters

flowing toward balance always... energy flows toward balance drawn bows settle at rest water settles in the lowest from push to pull and pull to push unceasing no hesitation complete release free fall open always flowing toward balance never quite balanced yet always balancing.

*deep bow* your words resonate with clarity and power with me... this opening... the release... i can see why I never approached it directly... it was counter-intuitive for me. but when true exhaustion caused me to really release... then it, unfolded. Awareness, spaciousness, as you say, able to host anything at all and forever unblemished, untaintable... one can't drive a nail into the sky and this release, this openess... as you say, all potential and all manifestation, yet it is never used up, never lost, can't be broken or fixed... inexhaustible. miracle of miracles!

Growth and Decay are no longer separate processes to me. They both flow into each other, perpetually. They are present in the flowing process of our bodies and minds always. Superior and inferior... these have no place as one will never triumph over the other. Can you ever order a room so everything is up only? Can you break sticks in half and be left with only tops? Are there waves that form with only crests? These are not manifestations of separate processes, but perception lends that illusion. Growth feeds on decay (all life consumes other life, be it rain and sun and minerals in soil, or plants and animals directly), while decay nurtures all life and is the foundation of all growth. In this it has become apparent to me that life, is by its nature, acquisitional, selfish and always taking in from the environment and merging the external with the internal through breath and eating. Whereas decay... decay is nurturing, giving... it is the ultimate release and giving back. They are not separate to me, but one unified flowing expression of the spectrum of the fluid life process.

all my life I been waiting for I been praying for for the people to say that we don't wanna fight no more there'll be no more war and the children will play

painted this shortly after studying with Wang Li Ping it is my visual description of the silent, empty utterly expansive center of no center

the center is not a place but a presence... a beingness... a listening...? I like this... it resonates with my experience of being a flowing verb ( awareness ), not a static thing.

breath flowing in... stories abound in a mind breath falling out...

One is not superior to the other. They are not separate. Hard and Soft. Rigid and Flexible. All have their benefits. Like growth and decay... always flowing into and from each other. endlessly from the bellows of dao Dao gives birth to all and all exist on a spectrum. Nothing is separate from dao... ever.

Democracy: The rather naive notion that the greediest of people, working from selfish motives, if left to pursue their interests unimpeded... will somehow work to the benefit of all. Oligarchy: Born of Democracy.

or deliver it... life is selfish... acquisitional... always taking in and acquiring more life to sustain its own pattern death is selfless... utterly giving and a total release of all back to all

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