silent thunder

Not presently. He has been studying full time the last couple years.

In my experience, most change happens very fast. What is often slow, is my response and adaptation to it.

I had one four years ago. It was a good decision for us. My wife came to me after and revealed that she had no concrete idea just how worried she was about another possible pregnancy and how that was affecting her ability to let go and be truly intimate until we got the all clear. We were planning on having a child when she got pregnant, but we hadn't yet gone off birth control, we were waiting another six months to start trying after a trip to Europe. Well, she came to me one afternoon and said "I think Europe will have to wait honey... your Viking sperm stormed my defenses and I'm pregnant!" How blissfully awesome of my son to come into my life in such a manner. Her birth however, was an emergency c-section and both my son and wife nearly died during the procedure. (this was a major reason I had resisted having a child my entire life with her as I had been having precognitive experiences of this my entire life). So the fear she experienced in the face of love making was very deep and quite debilitating. Not only at our age were we not prepared for another child, but it could have been exceedingly dangerous given the past and our age. I consulted my cousin, who had the procedure over a decade ago, prior to my decision. He has a long standing Qigong practice and is an acupuncturist. He is an energetic powerhouse and when we were discussing it his experience mirrored his teacher's reaction when he brought it up before his procedure, 'the energy finds a way'. He then lifted up his feet, one after another and showed me the holes burned through his practice shoes directly under his Yongquan. He said he had noticed no debilitation in his practice at all. Four years now after that procedure, I can say my practice is thriving, I have noticed no detrimental effects at all and the intimacy between my wife and I is one of the great treasures of my life and has been reawakened due to a lack of fear. Unlike many of the retention crowd... I have never suffered from any debilitating effects after making love to my wife. Although, my approach to sex is not very typical of a Western male anyway. Only two partners in my life, both of them women of extreme wisdom and open, loving, spiritual hearts. So the energetic connection and synthesis of energy in the union has always surpassed any energetic loss, but I digress. Let me reiterate, that my experience has resulted in no debilitating effects, my cousin, now some 16 years after his procedure mirrors the same and on a wonderful benefit side, it seems to me that one of the greatest possible aphrodisiacs for a woman over 40 is the word 'vasectomy'. Our life is rich, full and deeply connected. I wish you well. Oh and the recovery, was very mellow. I was slow moving the first day, but felt fine day two... don't believe the hype of the pain. edit: cursed spelling and grammar goblins... someday I might really proofread.

More dancing! More music! and More Rain! I could use more of all three... two are under my control and who knows, if I do #1 right, maybe I can bring some of #3... I'll get back on that... in the meantime...

I'll echo that.

I can share some, but the majority of it, I still haven't put into words. It was all very personal. A lot of heart work, which was the focus of my attendance. Those ten days were imbued with deep and profound shift and my overriding reaction is still gratitude that this type of teaching is actually available to a simple Midwestern guy. Master Wang and Richard Liao make the work accessible, but do not water anything down. It was remarkable, I remember when working with the trees, how Richard would remark and make suggestions the instant I lost touch with the energy. These guys both operate on a profound level of achievement. Sittings were twice a day with a concise lecture on concepts and time for questions usually prior to the sit, walking meditations in the mornings, tree work at night, and sleep meditations before bed... some of it, the sleep meditations in particular, were so intense it expanded my view of what's possible in life. It's affected my stillness work in a deep and subtle manner... while it's still just me sitting there, the words I'd use to describe the changes would be... refined, tangible and potent. It's affected my Qi Gong in a similar manner. I'm fortunate that my Qi Gong practice albeit from a different teacher, is also Wudang and is compatible. I share a bit of detail in this two page thread started by Charles who attended the April retreat. http://www.thedaobums.com/topic/40149-questions-for-wang-li-ping/?p=664876 I had no health issues going in and requested no particular healing in the advance questionnaire, but a few days in, I realized that I hadn't been using my reading glasses. While sitting at the restaurant for my evening meal, I suddenly realized I could see crystal clear and just forgot I even brought them along. I haven't needed them since. Another student experienced healing in his hip. He told me he hadn't been able to sit cross legged on the floor to meditate for four years, so he got clearance to use a chair in the sessions. In one of the early sessions, he said he felt a pop in that hip and from that point on, he was able to sit on the floor again with the rest of us.

He holds one or two retreats a year. I went last December. Best decision ever.

verse 31 rings out particularly strong on this point... Weapons are the tools of violence; all decent men detest them. Weapons are the tools of fear; a decent man will avoid them except in the direst necessity and, if compelled, will use them only with the utmost restraint. Peace is his highest value. If the peace has been shattered, how can he be content? His enemies are not demons, but human beings like himself. He doesn't wish them personal harm. Nor does he rejoice in victory. How could he rejoice in victory and delight in the slaughter of men? He enters a battle gravely, with sorrow and with great compassion, as if he were attending a funeral.

That is not something I had even entertained CT... very interesting, thank you.

You are a bird of interesting colors Karl. I'm glad you are singing in our forest.

This is such a potent experience for me in the last few years. My experience of forgiveness has been indescribably empowering and in the space left vacant when resentment, judgement and bitterness are released, clarity, compassion and love manifest naturally, effortlessly. They weren't kidding when it was written that to follow Tao, we don't add something each day, we let go, lose and release what we realize is not our nature. And by far, what I am most grateful for losing is my desire to punish, or lash out in retribution, or to harbor resentment over past slights. This does not mean I allow myself to be a victim, nor that I could sit by idly while others are harmed. I still firmly and without any conscious choice or hesitation what so ever, will immediately subdue and isolate anyone harming another if and when it's in my power. But once the perpetrator is isolated and the threat is diminished. I no longer harbor and replay and feed the beast of outrage that I used to revel in for months and years. I no longer have any desire to lash the perpetrator with foul and justified assaults. Merely to isolate them, so they cannot do further harm, then if possible, heal all parties involved. But really, I let it go. I think perhaps it's one of the benefits to being rather amazingly lazy. One day, I realized as intensely as is possible for me, that I only have so much energy and I had lost the impulse, desire and fortitude, to continue to feed energy into fighting things. I simply realized, I want to spend what energy I do have, on nurturing the things I love, rather than chasing some selfish ideal of personal judgement and justified punishment or retribution. Of late, the most terrifying word in the English language to me, is 'justified'. As soon as one feels justified in a course of action or punishment... nearly any atrocity is permissible. To forgive is an act of self love, or for me, of realization. Realization that I have no more energy to devote to fighting what I hate. I want to spend that one nurturing what I love.

That is an outstanding moment... thanks for sharing! Love it.

If I had the resources to relocate to China, I'd rent a place nearby and knock on Wang Li Ping's door.

Yea, Dan Xiang was not a consideration, where I am on my path is not in the same sphere as Sages who exude that level of realization.

and yet, the question remains... Are you even aware of what you want most, of what is in your essential core? This question resonates within me in a way that instills a sense of hope and optimism, because when this deep stirring resonates within a potent question, vajra is at hand. Insight is approaching, readily and when it arrives, it will crack my paradigm like lightning from a clear sky and the realization will be unshakable, hard as diamond, knowable as only truth may be experienced... balls to bones. I wonder, when we have varying and different experiences of reality Karl... who is correct? When someone has an experience of reality that is different from yours... who is getting the one objective reality absolutely right?

The OP reminds me of a conundrum put forth in one of my favorite stories of all time. Roadside Picnic. It's a Russian novella that Tarkovsky masterfully adapted to the screen in the mid 70's as the film Stalker. Brilliant. Masterpiece. In this film there is a Zone on the Earth where the laws of physics have been altered. In this Zone there is an object. A sphere. This sphere, if you are able to find it, with the help of a Stalker, will without fail, give you your ultimate desire. It will unerringly bestow what you want more than anything else. But, do you even know what it is you want most? The absolute core of your desire? I think your OP asks this in a very open and powerful way. You see, there's a catch to this object. To finding it and getting what you want... Everyone who has found it so far, has committed suicide within days afterwards... seems they couldn't live with the reality of what they wanted. They couldn't handle their deepest core desire. So, the actual question in the conundrum is not do you want what you think you most want? But do you really actually know what desire is at the very core of your essential nature? If you were forced, suddenly, with no room for error to perceive what your truest desire really is, could you abide its presence?

Those both feel to me like Shamanic initiation. This place continues to amaze me... what a treasure that we can share this...

Whoa. Thanks for sharing.

A household of contrarians? How many conversations can be had, without anyone ever agreeing to anything brought up I wonder?

Unless one is in the habit of consciously operating their thymus, lymbic system, growing fingernails, digesting meals and beating ones heart while asleep, not to mention pre-programming any dreams one may have, I'd say there is ample evidence of a subconscious.

Very cool Christopher. I hope you find what you seek and I would love to follow any updates you'd like to share. Sounds like it will be amazing.

The two sections in bold echoed these quotes to me. “The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” ~ Socrates and the latter “Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.”~ Lao TzuI don't know Karl... these Tao Bums might be imprinting on you... either way, you're in good company.

Aw, folks are so upset about where people make pee pee... Grow up. Seriously. Have none of you ever been in a sexless bathroom? My wife worked for over a decade in an office that had one bathroom for everyone. But then, they were all mature adults. We seem to be short a few of those of late. For fucks sake. Grow up.

I know Jeff. Usually, I try and not foster negativity, but in this case I'll make an exception. And while I usually strive to separate teacher from the teaching, in Jeff's case, that's no longer possible for me. I have family who were instructors in that system, who traveled with the program and taught for a time. I got to know several of the core group when they were in town. Those that I knew well, have all since left and formally severed ties with his organization. They each of them revealed chilling stories of his mistreatment, threats and abusive behavior. These stories came out in support of a friend who was physically threatened and illegally evicted and fired by Jeff a little over a year ago, a person whom we all knew and respected. This person was simultaneously Jeff's employee and tenant, who lived on Jeff's land in Hilo and managed the grounds. This person used to be a defense systems engineer and after a serious shift in life and consciousness, decided to leave six figure salary for a simpler life close to the land, while preparing for gender reassignment surgery. Living on that land in seclusion and being close to nature was the perfect seeming setting for his transition to her. When Jeff found out, he went ballistic. He fired her on the spot, then repeatedly threatened her with physical violence if she didn't vacate her home in 24 hours. She of course has filed charges, kept all the threatening communications that were in writing and the case is pending. Jeff is one of the more reprehensible people I have encountered. I will no longer spend even a few moments in his personal presence. I wish him no ill, but if I found him on my bus, I'd get off and walk. On a positive note, my friend and family are all doing very well.

muddiest waters left undisturbed by process rest in clarity