silent thunder

Enjoying the thread. This seems appropriate to share now. My wife died for a little under two minutes about 20 years ago. She fell heels over head down a 20ft staircase and fractured her spine in two places. She was, at the time a pretty staunch materialist. Her experience on the other side was utter bliss. No tunnel, but a grey bliss-filled light surrounded her. Enveloped her. She said no other experience in her life has felt so right, so completely saturated with love and completion. As I revived her and she could start to hear my voice, she told me later, she was so pissed off at me. "Stop talking, would you?! Just shut up I'm fine!" She still has no interest in any formal religions (other than to discuss concepts philosophically), but her materialist paradigm was shattered and her old conceptions about the nature of life and death were opened up exponentially. For her there is no fear of death and no worry. What a gift she received that day.

Well met and welcome. Look forward to learning about your experiences.

I used tobacco briefly at a point in my life when I was quite depressed and processing dark emotional patterns. Looking back I can see that I was using cigs as an emergency relief valve. But it's a double edged, short term fix, with a hammer-ass-back-hand-retaliation effect that leaves you worse off than you were when you sought its relief. For me, the first rush of a cig would give that good climber high while simultaneously, dampening the heart field and give the impression of relaxation via dampening all emotions, thus it feels like it's relaxing... as that wave crests and recedes, then the real effects become apparent, mainly increased tension and anxiety. The real addiction for me was not the cigarette, but the cascade effect that broke the emotional/thought pattern that was 'causing' my suffering. Emotions are far stronger than crack and at the time, the cigarette was the lesser of two evils. They served a purpose. The 'cascade effect' in the system is what I sought, really just that first puff is all I needed, the rest of the drags on the cig were rather pointless, but it was a great interrupter to the signals I didn't want to deal with at the time. I just had another signal to deal with instead of the ones I was escaping. My mind knew I could break a signal pattern with a drag, so in certain 'trigger events' my mind would remind me I had a craving to interrupt a signal. Not long after taking up qi gong and meditation daily, I began to get similar cascades. I call them 'body pings'. It's much like someone taking a mallet and striking my inner energy being like a bell, with a subsequent wave that can roll outward, inward, up, down, etc... They have a similar effect of interrupting signals/thought chains and emotional clouds, but these are linked to the breath and true relaxation and leave me vibrating higher and clearer. Emotions are now the real addiction for me. Thought/emotion trigger chains, Shenpa clouds I call them. Meditation, Qi Gong are my new signal interrupters. Congrats on your desire to release them, but don't kick your own ass if you fall off the wagon. There are plenty of others willing to do that, just see it in the moment for what it is, really take the moment and be present in it, I think, soon you'll see it's not serving the purpose you are conditioned to believe. Cheers!

I have experienced some very strong energy magnification in groups. I've noticed similar boosts in certain outdoor settings, near running water or certain trees. In the end, the best practice is the one I actually do, no matter where or how, just practice.

Layers. That really resonates with me. So many layers to peel. It's easy to get frustrated when an old emotional cycle reveals itself again even after 'considerable time spent contemplating and healing has been undertaken'... 'seriously? this problem is up again?'-'I've dealt with this! why am I here again?'-'why does this never go away?' I find the onion metaphor releases some of the ego abuse that goes with peeling. Many layers to peel to get to the center. Today's work is today's work. My core emotional issues were built over many moments, reinforcing the emotional onion or knot. So there are many layers to peel to reveal the truth of the core. So while I am 'still' dealing with (insert name of my emotional issue here)... I am not in the same place I was as the last time I peeled this onion, I'm not peeling the same layer. The work is progressing. The work is cumulative. Having this in mind helps me to release the self abuse that goes with the 'here I am again woe-is-me' ego trick. Somewhere inside a voice says 'just drop the onion'. Can't tell if it's a guilt tape talking, or my higher self. Or maybe my emotional onions are really tootsie pops and I'm still enjoying the 'taste' of the process. Anyhow, thanks for the layer reminder. Good timing for me on this one.

Why am I curious about death? Huh. I guess to put it in words I'd say... similar to the reason water flows downhill. As for young, I'm 44 now so still pretty young and still trying to unlearn shit everyday. As for taking things for granted, some things certainly, but one of my main practices in life is breathing gratitude. This practice has grown out of my experience with my family. My wife and I have built a small, simple life over the last couple decades based on compassion. The result of our focus on compassion has led me to an awareness of how the simplest acts can wield incredible power for change and transformation. I have had a chance to see some of the truly nasty shit life has to offer. I think it's precisely the 'negative influences' as I viewed them that have allowed me to appreciate how amazing life is now. As for taking the body for granted; I personally was given a second chance. It's a long story and I'll share it at some point in detail, but suffice to say, I went from being a martial artist/rock climber/outdoor athlete, to nearly losing a foot and being unable to walk without a cane or crutches for three years. That led to being 40 lbs over weight, 3 surgeries, high cholesterol, high bp, depression, meds etc... When I discovered that I could do QiGong and began to understand the importance of nutrition, my being completely turned around. The foot fully healed over a period of years while the body responded immediately to good nutrition. Emotions balanced as the diet improved and the qi gong effects kicked in. Today, no meds, 10lbs overweight, clean blood, flexible and full of energy. I still will randomly hop around on my old 'bad foot' in front of my wife and she will smile and laugh and just beam with joy that I'm healed. As for taking digestion for granted, yes I do. I really don't think about or try to direct that process in my practice. Perhaps I will as I get further in my practice. But I do now pay extra attention to what is about to go into my body. Cheers!

I'm obsessively curious about death. Stoked to experience it, (though I'm not looking to end the ride early). No fear, no worry. If birth is Yang, death is Yin. I don't think or worry about it, the way I don't think or worry about digesting my salad, or how my thalamus is operating.

I'm curious to find out what some of you do first thing upon waking in the morning? One of my great curiousities about my human experience is the play between various states of consciousness. Lucid dreaming is something I engage in regularly and recently I'm trying to incorporate more discipline to my dream experiences rather than just enjoying and playing. But that is a precursor to my question. The transition between states of consciousness fascinates me. Especially the transition from sleeping awareness to the waking state. Those first few moments upon waking... Usually, based on my ridiculous schedule in my early 20's and my habit of setting my alarm clock to the last possible moment to get as much sleep as possible, I would leap out of bed at full speed and blaze out the door. These days, I still often find myself mechanically 'hopping' up and getting right to action with what needs doing. For many years I paid no mind to how I woke up, I just got up and went about it. Recently, one day I hopped up and looked in the mirror and stopped. My heart was jumping and I asked myself 'what's the emergency? Why in such a hurry?' Now I'm taking the first moments of the waking state, to just sit and observe... memories of dreams if there are any, listen to the sounds of morning and focus on my first conscious breaths. I then get up slowly. Go out and squeeze the juice of a lemon into a cup of hot water and look out the window as I sip. I leave the lights off. I get up quite early on work days 3:45 or 4:00am. After that I do some mild stretching and a few cycles of Tumo breathing. Then it's make lunch and head out to work. I'm curious what others do upon waking?

Yea, welcome. This place is a well spring of awesomeness is it not? What practices specifically do you use?

So many great comments. I'm often confused. About food, I'm pretty clear. Life is food. I'm food. I really enjoy good food. But most importantly, I love feeling great and vibrating on a high level. The more awareness (not knowledge) I have, the higher I vibrate. As my practice has progressed and my awareness of how things react in the conditions of my body, I find myself making changes. Or rather, not changing so much as noticing my desires shifting. I know how I feel after eating certain things and if they don't amplify my vibrations, I don't want them coming into me. Some things I refuse to take, others will come when the time is right and some, I can't get enough of... I grew up hunting and eating a lot of meat, eating pretty much anything. Exotic and simple, toxic and refined and thinking nothing of it. After my first kill though, my bell was struck pretty hard and I couldn't stop thinking about the moment the spark of life left that pheasant. My Dad, who taught me how to hunt and hike and camp, was not spiritual at all (engineering background and materialist perspective), so for him it was sport and good food; but in the moment of that kill I knew the nature of the sacrifice and my benefit from it and I was changed. Up to that point I had never paid any attention to what I ate or where it came from. So here is my long-winded-get-to-the point-already point... For me, (who still eats flesh of a couple types, once in a while), I developed a personal acknowledgement and spiritual ritual, whenever I hunted or ate any flesh. I kept it quiet from my dad and his buddies, knowing they were not operating on that level. But for me to engage in that process, I could not hunt without intention and an acknowledgement of the sacrifice and my benefit. I find intention is the key to how the energy of any form of consumption/expulsion plays out in my system. Birth, life, death is all transformation. Food transforms from Jing to Qi in my practice. Without intention though, it really feels like 'waving my arms in the air'... there is no amplification, it lacks vitality and the flow is weak. I now honor the sacrifice in anything I take into my system. Water gets highest accolades. The honoring begins in preparation and finishes with loud sounds of happy ingesting, usually surrounded by people I love. It's grown into a game I play with my son while we cook and eat. We'll be making something and we'll try to think of everything that was possibly involved in the creation of the food we are about to eat, the more obscure the better. Sun, rain, wind, dirt, who grew it, who picked it, packaged it, painted the picture on the label, who drove it, who made the truck it drove in, the gas in the truck, the bugs in the dirt, the poop that helped it grow (he really loves that one) who made the silverware we use... it's a fun game that acts as a way to instill in our active awareness, a whole plethora of energy patterns related to what we are bringing into us. I find it amplifies my experience. As does this conversation, thank you all.

Deep bow of respect. Pure Awesome!

Wow... what a truly awesome synthesis of the essential. Thanks!

I found a solid, basic book for working on tactile visualization. It might be useful. Energy Work: Robert Bruce http://www.amazon.com/Energy-Work-Secrets-Healing-Spiritual/dp/157174665X It's focus is on using physical stimulation to engage attention with a physical sensation. No mental image projection. Once the attention is on the sensation, the stimulation is removed and you use your attention to continue the sensation. Simple exercise: Lay your left hand on your lap, palm up. Take a soft brush or the fingers of your opposite hand. Close your eyes and gently brush your palm and fingers. Focus attention fully on the sensations in your left hand. Do this for one minute, or until you are fully focused. Stop brushing the hand. Now brush the hand with your attention and focus on sensations. Once that is established you can begin to play. Change the speed, direction, nature of the touch etc. I find that using tactile visualization often brings about very clear mental imagery, but I don't seek it or feed it. Eventually you will just put your attention on the palm, or joint, muscle group, organ etc, and the response will be clear. Energy flows where attention goes. It's a solid book of fun, simple exercises, explained by a great guy.

Wow do I love this place! Deep bow of gratitude to you all. The forms I use daily, both use RAB and NAB: Relaxation set, static set, energy ball stance and some energy moving stances use NAB. While dynamic forms RAB is used. We run energy in both directions, oscillating as the form progresses. In one form, we start at DT, inhale and run up the Ren channel to the Bai Hui, exhaling down the Du Channel ending again at DT. This continues for a few cycles and then we change course, inhaling and running energy up the Du to the Bai Hui, exhaling down the Ren channel ending at DT. As I understand it, the use of running up the Ren Channel and down the Du channel, (which was described as going in reverse) is a bit like pushing your hand against the current in a river and is very useful for clearing blockages and opening the channels. A bit like priming a pump before unleashing the joy-fury of my attention-directed, uber love, energy-powa!

I equate power to Wu Ji. My experience of power is not yin or yang until I define it, or fill it with intention. The desire to attain and grasp power can be harmful if out of balance, i.e. am I obsessed and it interferes with my balance? But the desire to attain power can also confer the ability to relieve suffering, so here is a desire, yet it can result in benefit. The methods I go to, to attain power can be harmful or helpful. But the raw energy is neutral, like a tool. I don't find it to be yin or yang until I try to 'understand' it or 'make sense' out of it. Harm or Heal... are two ways of experiencing the same force. So for me, it seems, often it's just my perspective that determines how I experience it. Or it's the intent with which I encounter the energy that determines the experience. But that experience can change and is fluid. Harm may become heal etc. For me, a good example is pain and pleasure. Two experiences of sensation. I lived with chronic pain for decades and was able to manage it quite often and function well. Other times, not at all. As a child, sitting in class, when I was bored, sometimes I would take and push a pin into my hand. Just a bit, until it got uncomfortable. Then, as my curiosity rose (how far could I go?), and as my friends reactions were egging me on, I started to see how far I could push the pin into my hand without suffering (I was no superman). Or rather, I could feel the pain, but could I find a place where it did not bother me. In my mind, I would stare at the spot I was inserting the needle and I would try to find the center of the pain. If I could find that center, I could go into it and through it in a way and the sensation I experienced in my hand was not 'pain' it was a level of sensation I could get used to and so my experience of it, was not one I avoided. Often, there was no real experience of pain until I went to remove the needle, sort of breaking the trance and then feeling it. I found this tactic immensely helpful when dealing with intense training and pain from chronic body issues. Just a few weeks ago, I was working on a show and an old propmaker shared his definition of pain that really resonated with me and it applies to power for me as well. Pain is a level of sensation, deemed to be unacceptable. I would venture that cultivation, philosophical study of the Tao or any spiritual pursuit, or any interest at all, is based on child like wonder. Foster that spark and when it flames, keep the flame in balance and it will serve well.

Well met. I find the most rewarding experience I have, is re-connecting with others; nature, animals, art, random moments with strangers, deep hours long coversations with friends. I say re-connect because that's what the connections feel like to me. Even when I connect with a 'perfect stranger', the moment the connection is struck, there is a deep familiarity which is profoundly unifying. That's why I'm here, to re-connect, share knowledge and have some awesome discussions. I don't recall the first moment I was introduced to the Tao, but its impact in my life has been like a huge stone dropped in my pond. I am profoundly grateful for the handful of teachers who have shared knowledge, experience and love. My world has expanded as it has become simpler. I live in California with my seven year old son and my wife of 25 years. Some of my experience with the Tao: Countless hours spent in the wilderness. Kung Fu and Taoist Practice Master Zhou Ting-Jue: Fire Hands Qi Gong - Wu Tang California Master Lawrence Tan: Tan's Dazzling Hands, Shao Lin, Jeet Kun Do : NYC Master Richard Huang: Shao Lin, Jeet Kun Do: NYC Master John Kim: Chung Moo Quan: Minnesota Favorite Taoist Authors: Lao Tsu Alan Watts Joseph Campbell Damo Mitchell Mantak Chia Looking forward to swimming in these waters.

Wow, thanks for sharing that!

I have vivid sensory recollection of entering samadhi as a child. Complete loss of self in the moment, in the now. All subsequent work has been to find and open that gate again...

Superstitions are fascinating to me, how they differ in cultures, how they're the same. When I later found out about the superstition regarding the number 4 in the east, that moment really set it in my memory that some folks take that stuff very seriously. I used to be a professional stage actor, during the 80's and 90's, and had regular fun tormenting superstitious actors by saying 'Macbeth' on stage while rehearsing or before a performance. The superstition around that one is legendary. You never say Macbeth on a stage, or in a rehearsal hall. Instead you say 'The Scottish Play'. If you mess up, you must go outside, spin around counter-clockwise 3x and spit over your left shoulder, then knock and ask permission to re-enter. If not, you risk 'cursing' the show. I grew out of that particular mischief after making one actress cry before curtain. Her logic might have been sketchy to me, but her suffering was real. Superstitions had a cool lesson for me. One day while living in NYC, I was thinking about how ridiculous one particular superstition was, (I forget what), but my resulting thought was...'hmm, what makes that superstitious thought any more ridiculous than the one I'm thinking now?' I chewed that bone for a while...

That number 4 thing was just so freaking bizarre... I mean, cartoons on acid bizarre. I now see it was a way to test who would be open to blind submission. Looking back it was such a great thing to have happen. I learned some Kung Fu there, but really, I learned how to be awake in that pursuit.

Nice! Thanks.

Really need to start making this myself. Great reminder. How often do you use it?

My breakfast is usually hot lemon water, breathing with intent and stretching. Lunch varies, most days 4-5 a week. I'll make the following smoothie and divide it into two portions. I drink one at around 9 am and the other around noon. 1 ear of corn, cut off the cob 1 fuji apple quartered (for space) 1/2 lime, peel off the green leaving the pith (the green is just too bitter for me) 1 avocado with the pit (3hp blender a must) 1 medium beet 1/2 cucumber w/peel handful of strawberries 1" of ginger 3 sprigs of mint 3 sprigs of cilantro handful of goji berries Dinner varies. We eat some chicken and fish, but in moderation. No red meat or pork. Lots of salads, steamed veggies, brown rice, lentils, beans, soups.

I agree, what a treasure here! Lots of gratitude for all the contributions here.

Very cool DragonScholar. I'm not familiar with the specifics of zhan zhuang, but I know I get great response in my standing work. The Pillar of Light is one I use often, but haven't tried it in the morning. I think I will, it sounds like a no brainer.