silent thunder

I find this line fascinating and its tweaked my mind for decades now. I'm human, yet no where inside me is the human element and yet, the elements came together and formed into a human. It's remarkable to me, this threshold between 'a bunch of elements' and 'a human', or a tree, or flower, or fish. Pile up elements randomly and you get a pile of elements. Yet a pregnant woman eats elements, none of which are human and they combine to become a human. Yet there is no 'human element'. Even our very human DNA is a mix of nucleotides and protein chains, none of which are made of a human element. No human element exists. No frog element. (what an incredible manifestation of the function of the 10,000) Humans are comprised of the same elements as all the other 'things' in the universe, but when combined in a certain pattern in a pregnant woman, we eventually combine to form a 'human'. (though sometimes at walmart this can be tougher to ascertain). What I eat transforms into human... somehow. No matter how many apples I eat, I never turn into an apple. It was standard procedure for me to bring home a bag of tacos whenever I thought of it while my wife was pregnant with our son. We joke that his first body was mostly taco... yet no matter how many tacos she ate, they transformed in our son, even though, inside him, there is no human element present. Our bodies are comprised of non human elements, yet we are human. Reminds me of the notion of the Brahman's body being the universe.

I enjoy reading or listening to something without needing to endorse it, or deny it. I enjoyed Unacknowledged, but didn't spend energy believing, or needing to disprove it, I just enjoyed listening and mulling it over. In a similar vein I got a lot of enjoyment out of the series Cosmic Disclosure on Gaia TV through Amazon Prime. 12 seasons worth of in-depth interviews.

omg i love you all... i'm cryin over here...

This site radio garden displays a globe. On the globe are green dots, representing live radio broadcasts around the world. Click one and listen in instantly... I've been listening to this radio station broadcasting in Trondelag, a few kilometers from where my 15th century ancestors farmed the seas... Hopped over to Scotland for a bit, then swung by Kyoto... Pure. Awesome.

Inherent, reflected connections to Bon and Zen continue to emerge. Intriguing as I've never actively pursued either, yet continually recognize kinship with both unfolding within.

Timely synchronous sharing. Thank you. Dreamless awareness and lucidity within objectlessness has become a regular unfolding lately... initiating in the hour of 3am as awareness arises out of deep sleep, the body remains asleep and awareness abides objectlessness in presence. An immersive dreamless dream, while lucid. This topic as a whole, but this passage and your sharing in particular emanate penetrating harmonic resonance to what has unfolded as the pivotal anchor of my process in recent years, (deeply grateful folks take their time to share here. These shared markers along 'the pathless path' are invaluable to me). TWR and his book on Tibetan Sleep and Dream Yoga's has been an enduring and penetrating catalyst for major shift in my process from the moment it veritably leapt off the shelf into my hands years ago. Particularly in the aspects of the waking dream state and the oscillation of immersion versus lucidity within and its mirrored aspects in sleeping dreams. I've been a lucid sleeping dreamer since childhood. Now with increasing inertia, these processes have begun to mirror in waking awareness as well. Lucidity within the waking dream was always gnawing at the edges of my field... but this blossoming and its more recent accompanying experience of the objectless was wholly unanticipated and its affect on all layers of waking and sleeping dream awareness is... well beyond my words. Thankfully, TWR through the lense of the Bon tradition (juxtaposed with the varying perceptions shared throughout the entire conversation and accompanying notions of Maya projections) illuminates resonant kinship and foundational recognition with my experiential process, to beneficial release. Long winded way of saying... thank you, much kinship is experienced in this sharing.

February will be almost entirely focused on work for me. Breaking down drawings and building scenery. We've resumed production on the 11th of Jan after a month off for the holiday and the big spike of covid here in LA. Our show opted to build a rather ambitious one block replica of NYC circa the 80's, along both sides of a street near our studio in lieu of going into downtown for location shots. We juggle the elements, the materials, the drawings, nearby homeless encampments, drive-by solicitations for sex and drugs and the deadline pressures of a major tv shooting schedule that is in near constant shift. I'm grateful beyond words to be able to work and provide for my family. That i also am able to do so among artists I both love and respect, not only for their skills in craft, but for their skills in humor and in navigating the deadliest pandemic of our lifetimes without becoming a spreader event... all in the midst of LA's spike. Truly humbling.

That image is as sad as it is unsurprising...

For the record, that 'lose a pair' bit is indeed Betty White's. She did a guest spot on a show I was crewing, Community and I happened to have the good fortune to be doing standby when she shared that bit, in person on set one evening. Even having heard it before, with her presence and delivery... if laughter could enlighten... she at least sent a few of us to laughter nibbana for a few heartbeats that day.

My experience of time has shifted rather dramatically from my teen and young adult years. I used to see time as an objective function somewhere there was a constant that was observable by all of reality. This notion was compelling and comprised almost wholly of Newtonian and Cartesian modeling. Present moments, divisible and identifiable, that are chained together, from the past through the present into the future. That's utterly dissolved in my more recent experience, particularly gaining inertial shift these last 7 years or so... Moments no longer exist for me. There are no moments, there is flow... and memory. Presence and Awareness. Any former notion of moments is experienced as a rather arbitrary assignation by my interpretation of memories. And mechanical time is recognized as pure illusion now. A human abstraction, a product relevant only in its limited mental sphere, a superficially self imposed abstraction, treated as real, but to reality at large, is without significance or relevance, in my experience. Time as I used to experience it, seems to be a function of memory interpretation that arose in response to my recognition of the shifting of conditions. I remember being at home in the morning, then arriving at work, now returning home... Conditioning compels me to say that time passed. Though nothing that occured was ever a separate moment from anything else and all experience arose in the perpetual unfolding presence of awareness... as it is now. It all unfolds now. This is it. Any memory i have of the past, arises now, in presence. All plans for the future unfold within presence, now, in awareness. There is only the unfolding presence now, in awareness... for me. I'm not claiming any ultimate truth, but am attempting to share my experience of it. So yea, my experience of time has shifted from a progression of past through present to future, to a perpetual unfolding of presence within awareness, one among the myriad co-arising aggregates. No isolated 'moment's exist anywhere within it, aside from those my interpretation of memory rather arbitrarily assigns... in retrospection. Cyclical time is experienced as a process. But one that arises and unfolds, perpetually, cyclically in the now. The progression of the Seasonal cycles, life cycles of species... stars and solar systems... these processes unfold cyclically and seemingly repeat, but never do they repeat the same way. This Winter is not like any other. @manitou has shared many times her experience of past being affected by present shift in her healing modality which heavily alludes to the perpetual present and the illusion of a separate past or future. Those sharings and a few others here over the years have been resonant moments that leap off the screen for me.

My sits range from 45 min to 4 hours. My hips and knees carried tension and blockage for years. All through my hard martial days it was the last place to loosen up in my body. Even with regular stretching, it seemed this was the storehouse where tension would return, so it always required extra attention and was very slow to change. Just sit in any position you can for now and keep stretching. Nothing wrong with standing up and walking a bit as suggested, then return to the mat. Instead of lotus, I sat cross legged, feet tucked under, or in a chair. Eventually quarter lotus became comfortable, then not long after that half lotus was doable... though with tension and some numbness and strain at first. I was willing to sit through discomfort, but never pain. I now have loose hips and knees and my body prefers half lotus, even when in a chair watching a movie or reading and can remain that way indefinitely. Occasionally I'll switch which foot is on top. One day when tucking into half lotus, my body signaled it wanted to go further and I found that full lotus was comfortable, though with some tension and was able to do so for my full session, but this is not true every session... so my lotus is still blooming but functional. I found this set of illustrations for stretches quite helpful with loosening up. Growing a Lotus

... on second thought, na

So much resonance with this. The rippling is profound and lasting.

Oh do share! Or just share what language/region? I'm an old logophile and an etymology addict... I'll enjoy the legwork looking it up.

where abides source? how does awareness arise? what constitutes individuality? three questions that recurr, seemingly unbidden and from within. incidentally... within seems to be the answer to all three, at this juncture.

Oh Magical. So, so magical. Beyond all doubting... which is rare for me these daze. I contend there is more magic in a simple, square yard of 'ordinary earth' than in all the tomes of fiction in all languages combined. Imagine then, what magic abides in our heart, or eyes, or mind... in our awareness field. It's magic all the way up... and down. The process of a simple flower, breathes and reaches into the ends of reality. Indra's Net. I could as readily substitute spirit for magic in the above statement and it would play as authentically and all encompassingly, for me. Such magic as this! Such treasure!

This describes to a T much of the reflected impression others give of me in life, at work in particular. I find I often stink of zen without intending it and have come to relish my odd nature over time... I chalk it up to the old adage... And those who were seen dancing were thought insane by those who could not hear the music.

I arrived home to the smell of slow roasted, shredded pork. Fresh homemade pico de gallo and guac, cilantro, salsa and cabbage. Aaaaah... street tacos, without the street.

Dig the quote. I'm curious to whom is it attributed? I did a search and found no result.

Chains of iron, or chains of gold... they both bind.

This is my motto for the last 12 years.

Yup.

I'll echo creation on this one mate. Save up, then start when you have a few months worth of funds. Chances are, you'll garner more than you can chew in the first few lessons anyway and can take a break from the monthly subscription while working on the foundation. And while you work on the foundation, start saving again to pick back up in a bit. I expect you'll be able to pick right up where you left off no problems. I definitely wouldn't begin a system of internal energetic cultivation, by bypassing the agreement with my new teacher. (I have an anecdote about the sensitivities regarding teachers and their students that applies to this very thing, if interested.)

For as long as I can recall... cats in my life. I was born able to speak their language it seems. I just always get them. Unmatched masters of mindfulness/presence and emptiness/release in my experience. When I see cats with my external eyes. This is often my internal experience...