silent thunder

decided to share less...

I lived with Chronic Pain for years and then one moment, one day... something cracked open inside awareness and the living realization dawned and flooded through me like light. In Life, there will be discomfort, there may be pain... this does not mean there must be suffering. bam... like that, a new relationship to 'sensation' developed. I shared that sentiment with an old timer veteran of the movie biz, shortly before he retired and he smiled and said. "Pain is a level of sensation that mind deems unacceptable." edit to add: in more recent years this applies to the emotional and mental as well as the physical.

*deep bow* We are all one Web. Much Love Brother!

It's been a Douglas Spotted Eagle morning here.

wow... just wow. thank you.

The longer I walk this path, the more I come to find that the ability to 'play' is available in any aspect of life, and constitutes among the highest of skill sets. It is for me, invaluable. I long ago gave up seriousness in favor of sincerity. It allowed me to turn even mundane and dreadful tasks into avenues of playing, which opens up myself and puts at ease others... which in turn, opens them and then soon, we're all playing, yet still getting done all that adult life requires... Wow, just wow... the timing of this. Thank you. One of my long time friends is on the crew with us for this show and we spent a good portion of our day discussing our revelations into just this type of insight and observation of our own lives... Don't resist, that only creates sorrow is almost verbatim what he said describing his recent realization concering a painful divorce and custody battle.

Wow! Those images just shine! I recall some vague details about a story you shared here some time ago that really impacted me greatly... and I believe were a direct precursor, or pointer, or conveyer to one of my more intense realizations of late. It was regarding a circle of Ravens who approached you and gave you permission... I think it was when you were on a beach seeking a certain talisman (perhaps a replacement of a lost one?) kind of object in the form of a stone from that beach?... I don't recall specifics, but that you spoke and asked for permission and then listened for an answer... struck such a harmonic in me... the feeling of your sharing still elicits strong emanations to this day. Not long after I had a strong message from The Great Mother. The saying that came into my mind some time after encountering your message rang with truth and intimate familiarity, yet was unmistakably not my thought, it was spoken into me, or from within me by The Mother. It unfolded in awareness like a shining pearl, unsought, unanticipated and utterly gobsmacking in subtle intensity. "It is a poor person indeed, who, while not listening, stomps about claiming Nature to be mute." I speak to bushes, shrubs as I walk... I high five tree branches I can reach while thanking them for cleaning my air and providing shade. I talk and listen to every aspect of life these days, insects, stones... it's all alive, all aware on some level and I'm just so humbled and grateful for being even a smidgen aware of being part of it and able to participate in it. All of Nature is always talking, singing, communicating I find. It's only me, who at times can't hear.

The timing of your return here is very welcome. Wisdom and Heart are like a salve right now. You sharing your story bolsters my heart and reminds me that we are stronger together and is evidence that for most folks, coming to the aid of someone in need is not a 'choice' but a driving force in our essence. I had a confrontation a few years back with three young men in their 20's... I was nearing 50. That I managed to confront, diffuse and avoid violence, in hindsight is staggering to me... I still have no 'conscious knowledge' of how I managed to face them all down, without needing to touch anyone and without it escalating. Presence and purpose (neither of which had a whiff of conscious intent, only pure mindless authentic reaction) and the calling of the heart to those of like mind is a remarkably potent force. One that has almost nothing to do with the conscious mind, but wells up from our core and has the force of authentic life loving essence behind it, (which i suspect is why it sometimes works so well.) *deep bow* Stopping harm, preventing harm and aiding in healing are perhaps the most noble of actions in my opinion. Thanks again for sharing, these kinds of stories bolster my hope and my heart and that is quite needed of late. Edit to add: Your actions in your encounter to me are a prime example of Wei Wu Wei... which I've always translated as 'act without forcing' instead of 'action without acting'. When we do not resist authentic response, sometimes action arises, sometimes no action arises... either way, when arising authentically such action or no action seems to carry additional proactive force.

*deep bow* You are so welcome Sister! Red Tails, Big Horns and Wolves in particular have always circled my life and heart as Spirit Guides. I'm so blessed by their attentions. Lots of animal energy emerging here of late. This spring I finally realized my long held desire to start fostering Monarchs and have again then when that season passed, we've begun hosting Hummingbird feeders. I knew I had to put out a feeder again when a Rufous Hummer came into our house and hung out for about 3 hours one afternoon. Flitting from the ceiling fan, to our hanging fruit basket, then surveying the whole lay of our place. Now we've got daily visits from a half dozen or so... their presence and chirps are magick to me.

Wow, memory blast... My last role as an actor was Shams! It was at LaMama theater Off-Broadway in NYC, back in the 90's. LaMama was founded by my theatrical guru/motivator Jerzey Grotowski in the 60's... and the poetry of Rumi was instrumental in some of my awakening, so it was the perfect retirement role for me. The show was basically the poetry of Rumi and the meeting of he and Shams that set him on his path to awakening. It was set to original music and whirling in the Dervish/Sufi tradition played heavily throughout. It is a remarkable method for meditation and sammadhi. We were fortunate to be instructed in whirling by experienced practitioners and I explored it extensively at that time (and occasionally it will arise spontaneously and I'll whirl again to this day). It triggered several deeply affecting mystic experiences that still resonate.

I've been on a sincerely deep and ever growing appreciation and hero worship of Marcus Aurelius lately... Hard to imagine a leader of such introspection and wisdom...

Ravens are amazing. We make food offerings twice a day on the rooftops of the building next to us, for the Crows, Pigeons, Squirrels, Possums, Raccoons and Seagulls that live in our neighborhood. For a couple months, a family of Ravens was coming by and I about came unglued. Odin's Eyes! I would cry out and scramble to make them an offering. The Ravens did not stay, but I've made a long term relationship with the Crows now for about 12 years. Lately our daily group has grown from 4-5 to 11-19. They know me well now, and my truck and when I'm walking back after work in the evening, they'll all announce and call out that I'm home, then they'll perch on our eaves and wait for me to open up and spread some good vittles. Simple joys are becoming so much more crucial for me, particulary in the challenges in my inner life of the last seven years... their presence is amazing for my heart health.

I very reluctantly turned this on after weeks of constant and endless badgering of a partner at work. I was utterly surprised at the depth and breadth of a television script, that deftly wove a narrative that addressed religious thinking and effects on society, notions of consciousness and the nature of human non-human life, entrenched hardline politics and the ramifications of whole sale technology worship... not to mention the foggy/nebulous/fluid definitions of terrorism vs anti-authoritarian freedom movements... May have to revisit this again. Will undoubtedly be more details revealed in another run through...

After 51 years in this waking dream... and 47 years of lucid dreaming... the boundaries between them becomes less substantial and distinct with each passing season and cycle of growth. I have always experienced much resonant familiarity in the manners in which the Tibetans frame the dream like quality of 'waking life'. The Bard has quite a few references to it as well. "And like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself— Yea, all which it inherit—shall dissolve, And like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep." Prospero, The Tempest, Act 4 sc. 1 "When I waked, I cried to dream again" (Caliban, The Tempest) "‘To die, to sleep – to sleep – perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub, for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause.’ Hamlet ‘If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!’ (Sebastian Twelfth Night)

I'm so not surprised to hear you share a love of Red Tails @Taomeow The connections keep racking up... I've had an affinity and driving fascination for Red Tails as long as I can recall. They resonate like no other bird for me. They used to come in and circle over me just above the treeline when I'd practice Shao Lin forms in Prospect Park back in the 90's. This gal flew overhead every morning on location for Star Trek. Every morning for three months. I was in heaven because for much of that time I was in a Boom Lift 12 hours a day, sculpting elements along the top edges of a scenic element that was five stories high. We'd have full on conversations. The crew thought I was nuts (and I likely am). I know a few Lakotah songs and I'd sing them and she'd come hang around. It's always been this way with the few songs I know. Many animals would investigate but the Red Tails more than all others combined. They'd cruise low and slow in tight circles to investigate (ancestor memory?) the pale man singing the old songs. They'd almost always come check out who was singing whenever I was out camping, but even in the middle of Brooklyn's Prospect and Central Park (home of Pale Male) back in the 90's they'd come to hear the songs. I haven't sang in years now. On Star Trek, I'd drop my partner off and then extend the basket back up to full height (85ft in that lift) to eat my lunches and sing her songs and she'd sweep in so low and slow I could almost count her feathers. I have one wing feather in my collection from a Red Tail that dropped right at my feet on the lot at Paramount. I was walking back to our Mill from Stage 21 to get some supplies, when a wing feather dropped at my feet just outside our Mill door. I laughed like a giddy kid and sang in thanks and brought it home. It sits atop my Eagle Head Chanunpa Pipe and is one of my most beloved treasures. I use it to smudge and smoke the house.

My wife suggested 'Blaze'. I responded... "Bet he's a red head..."

Wow, I just experienced a massive cascade of energy and resonance at being re-minded of my first experience of her in The Secret Oral Teachings of Tibetan Buddhist Sects. It's quite apparent now that she's among one of a very few people, whether in person or through books/videos, that have impacted me on this deep a level... I'm kind of stunned processing it honestly. It was wholly unanticipated, her impact on me. My assumption was that the book would be kind of a 'dangle a carrot' and then turn out to be a light read on a fascinating topic that likely wouldn't reveal anything of substance given the time it was written and the state of secret teachings... and I approached it rather smugly as maybe eliciting a neutral sort of 'nice stories' response. HA!@ There are no accidents. Had I encountered this book even seven years ago, I would likely have had just that experience... but encountering it when and how I did, my arrogance leaving me wonderfully disarmed and unguarded... several passages pierced me utterly and continue to roll through me like silent thunder. Not diminishing with time... amplifying. Rereading my response I chuckled. To part of my mind, it reads like a wide-eyed fanboy, lost in hyperbole... but my exuberance is fueled by raw gratitude. Gratitude and astonishment at the depth and breadth of the impact... at the timing of my encountering it and her being willing to share in the first place and me being unguarded. Like warm oil penetrating parched wood, or water saturating soil. Or like a trickling of water that engenders an avalanche. (ack lol... there i go all fanboy gaga again... ) So glad you posted this when you did... thanks mate. synchronicity...

where they feel free and where i am, seems all one. rivers to the sea... (figured your skip post was a good bridge to use as a bypass...)

My gal must have read over my shoulder, or picked up the vibe. Got home an hour ago from my first day on a new project and there was a bottle of reishi extract pills on my desk waiting for me. I'm going to look for a liquid blend of oil or oral tincture too though. I'd be grateful for any recommendations of a brand anyone trusts and uses as my old brand seems to be defunkted.

THAT'S FANTASTIC! Wow... those feathers. I've amassed a decent collection over the years, out camping and hiking. Those are utterly incredible! Nice work mate! Trees for the win!

what could possibly go wrong...

Here was the moon from our balcony last night. So much ash in the air, it was still deep crimson/orange an hour and a half after rising. Woke early and went out to finish prepping my truck and toolkit. Had momentary sense memory/reality overlay distortion when it looked like my truck was covered in snow. Then sighed and recalled it's ash from the El Dorado fire to the East of us... 55 miles away.