silent thunder

I see streams and rivers with pools and vortices, swirling in patterns recognizable as humans, trees, birds, stones... All the forms of the 10,000 are fluid verbs to me and appear as rivers and streams of energy naturally flowing along the paths of least resistence and oscillating along anti-podal polarities generated by the flow, these energies coalesce into patterns through and between the emptiness that supports all form. Cymatics and Sacred Geometry have been remarkably beneficial and resonant in this study... not so much for the conscious mind, but for the underlying awareness.

Well met Antonio108. Welcome to the Bums!

So the big female who visted, was either a male, or did not have any eggs left. There are no eggs on the outside plant. I was surprised that there'd still be females laying this late. Evades the Wasps as I've come to think of her, made her transition to Chrysalis this morning. My gal caught it on video, though too big to post here. Got some decent pics of her final day of inverted feeding: and of her making her anchor and then heading into J pose. She held J pose for 14.5 hours! Curled up and holding steady... (reminds me of Zhan Zhuang) starting @ 8:05pm last night. 10:30am this morning, (I was still asleep as I've reverted to nocturnal habits in our months long isolation) my gal noticed her starting to wiggle which is the prompt they're going to Chrysalize. Shortly after they start wiggling their skin splits on the back of the head and then they pump and wiggle their body until the skin splits the entire length and eventually is wiggled off. Took just under four minutes from first wiggle to full Chrysalis... utterly incredible to watch. I woke to her fully transitioned form and the video my gal caught of it. They really anchor themselves well and wiggle rather tenaciously even a few minutes after the skin has detached. (saved it for microscope viewing, I'll dig the microscope camera out for some pics). Simply stunning process. She should emerge in about a fortnight...

I was a stage actor, classically trained and that was my focus and love, mostly Shakespeare, Ibsen, Checkov etc, also worked as a standup and was a writer for other standup artists and sketch comedy troupes. Started in the 80's, retired in the late 90's.

Few minutes ago... another gal, (HUGE!) regaled us of a few more eggs on our balcony plant. We've decided to keep the main plant just inside the screen door on the cat tower. It keeps the wasps away and should prevent another aphid incursion. We'll transfer the caterpillers to the indoor plant when they hatch as the outdoor plant is still recovering so provides minimal food and cover and the wasps continue to cruise... The egg laying season here has been longer than i anticipated and longer than research indicated... I'm curious how long we'll have females laying eggs. Also, having the plant at eye level indoors has been a real window expansion into their activity... their eating habits seem very structured, ritualized comes to mind as i watch the 3 and 4 instars, sever a leaf's main vein, cutting off flow and causing the leaf to droop steeply. They then reverse and move to the tip, upside down and begin feeding their way back up the leaf while it dangles (to my ignorant eyes) by a seeming thread, precariously. After working their way back to the branch backwards, pick the next leaf and repeat. They also consume their own shed skin as they molt through the first four Instars. I'd been looking for the shed skins to observe under the microscope, but they don't let them go. Repurpose those minerals mate! yin love

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wow... that image really rings the bell of familiarity, sadly. Though in my world, Handmaids Tale is replaced with Bladerunner and Clockwork is replaced by Stalker.

These people shine for me. Their presence almost has a palpable ringing to it. Though I only hear the ringing and perceive the shine, when i am quiet enough inside so it may be noticed. When my interior landscape is loud with incessant thoughts, heightened emotional processes, or the action of incessant or obsessive seeking; this occludes my ability to perceive the very thing being sought.

When my path (perspective) aligns with Dao... there is no longing to escape to some place far off that may be 'better', so though there be carts and boats, the heart is content and they lie unused with no need to go seeking for what is already present. As for people... It's not that I avoid those not close to me (either in shared perspective, or location), it's that when unfolding the Dao... all unfolds as it is where it is and this is it. Life is always full and it's always experienced from the center of my own awareness. When walking Dao... there is no need to compare what is with the vapours of what may be. The center is here, Dao provides nature for all that life requires and this process is co-arising no matter where one manifests. The older I get, the more I appreciate my simple life. My old grand days of performing, being praised, traveling to find the secrets of existence, garnering notice for achievements... have all lost their grandeur and luster and to sit in my simple home, with my plain clothes among those I cherish... what could supplant this as superior? For me, nothing. Dao no longer infuses my life with ringing joy and happiness. Those states are unsupportable in the long run, they have a manic quality. I am content... and the resonance of contentment through awareness is, in my experience, a foundation for unshakable occupation of 'the center' held by the Sage. I used to travel incessantly, always seeking what may bring enlightenment on the next ridge, the next campsite, the next book, the next job. whereas, content. I occupy where I am, as I am and... it is enough.

Great question. I don't think so. Perhaps hindsight allows me to analyze and make judgements about past occurences, but that is all part of my storyteller and prone to the failings and blindspots of my assumptions and interpretation of how I view what I recall. It's also dependent on the quality of my recall and what rises to focus and what details slip away. Though I have no faith that such interpretations are accurate, they will be personally generated reflections. Being a detective, my Uncle always says that eyewitness testimony is the least reliable... I've come to agree with him as I explore my own memory and recall of events my wife and I have shared over 32 years. Whereas all that lies beyond my awareness, effectively does not exist for me... I cannot recall what I am not aware of, and what lies beyond my awareness entirely, cannot touch that process. This is a lovely catch-22/paradox for me. It's why I resonate so with the quote and why the pivot of my process has evolved into unfolding and nurturing a perpetual Doubting of my mental processes in total. My experience the last few years is that, all that lies within my mental process is prone to the interpretations and skew of my assumptions and conditioning... or lies beyond awareness rendering it effectively, invisible and uninteractable. I guess that's why when I encountered it in a shared teaching by Alexandra David-Neel, it veritably rang the bell of my entire body/mind awareness. Doubt with a capital D... has become my most treasured tool in the box lately. It

US made myriad promises to the Native population. So far it has kept only one... 'we will take your land.'

Moved the hosting plant inside some days back. It's temporary home is the top of our cat tower. Found a second Instar 1 on the plant outside a few days back and brought it inside to the host plant. Wasps are still scoping the balcony regularly and the outside plant is recovering slowly and has but a few tiny leaves to offer as cover and food. Found an infestation of Milkweed Aphids on the indoor host plant and dealt with it by wiping them off the underside of the leaves with a damp paper towel after a bit of research. They appeared at first like a yellow pollen, but pollen doesn't manifest on leaves, so we got out the magnifying glass and then id'd them. These aphids are non-native and invasive, they spread very quickly and may kill the plant if enough of them proliferate by piercing leaves and siphoning plant essence. They also prevent further eggs being laid as they carpet the underside of leaves, stems and branches. So of our current two fosters, one just molted to instar 3 and is eating partially severed leaves in the inverted pose. Should be ready to Chrysalis in another 5-8 days. Instar 2 has hidden so well, we've not seen her for two days now.

How to determine what is best, but to try it out and see how it affects mind state and body health? And Best for whom? And at what point in their life? Some of that which benefited in my 20's, is anathema in my 50's. Explore, Incorporate, Utilize, Synthesize, Withdraw, Introspect, Analyze, Reincorporate, Repulse, Re-Explore... repeat

One recent hatchling avoided notice yesterday and continues. Such tiny resilience... to remain unoticed. yin potency while eating voraciously yang to quote a friend... both, same time. It was a paper wasp, or several, that got the others, not hornets. They tried starting a nest in the corner of our balcony several weeks ago. Been hanging about recently and scoping the balcony and eaves.

Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through. I cannot experience your experience. You cannot experience my experience. We are both invisible men. The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds. Insanity - a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. ~R. D. Laing

How do i let go, but to let go? How does one drop a heavy bag when tired? release and when aware one has unwittingly picked it up again, then what? open the hand holding on drop it release

You've been missed. Thank you for sharing... the timing of your message for me, is uncanny and deeply appreciated. Be free Brother!

Hornet raided the plant this afternoon. Perhaps one or both of the first Instar were small enough to evade notice. The others were carried off, injected, or eaten on the plant. roughly 2% of eggs survive to adult Butterfly. and the cycle continues...

Long before a thermonuclear war can come about, we have had to lay waste our own sanity. We begin with the children. It is imperative to catch them in time. Without the most thorough and rapid brainwashing their dirty minds would see through our dirty tricks. Children are not yet fools, but we shall turn them into imbeciles like ourselves, with high I.Q.s if possible. R. D. Laing

People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. Carl Jung

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue, but have taken them at second hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing. ~ Mark Twain

Awareness always seems to be from the center. From within... Whether dream, or 'reality'.

Me: (after reading some news) *sigh* Wow... parts of 'Murica truly are the land of Freedumb Wife: ... ...