Perceiver

I always find it funny when people claim to be enlightened yet do arrogant and unnecessarily confrontative posts, as Deci Belle does in this thread. Doesn't seem so enlightened to me.

Hi About four years ago I started experiencing problems with my voice. I would over-use it when going out on a Saturday night, and could feel it being strained for a couple of days after. Unfortunately this seemed to happen over and over again, even though I didn't feel like I was shouting. After 1,5 years, it got to the point where my voice was also strained and fatigued during normal workdays. I don't go out anymore and haven't for several months. I haven't spoken for a full month to give my voice a rest, but nothing helps. I've been through three doctors, a neurologist, a vocal coach and all of her colleagues and none of them have a clue. It's getting progressively worse, and my symptoms are getting stranger: It doesn't take more than 10 seconds of speaking before my voice "pops" and then I get all kinds of strange symptoms: Feel hectic, nervous-system shaking, pressure between eyes, pressure on top of head, headache, flat feet, trouble coordinating hands and fingers, cannot concentrate, voice is weak and breaks, takes an effort to speak, nerve pain on top of feet close to where it meets the shin. The symptoms persist for several days even if I stop speaking. This Saturday I accidentally laughed once while watching a movie and the symptoms still persist today (Tuesday). Last chance from the doctors is that it may be caused by acid reflux. They want to check my stomach some time in the coming weeks. But I have a hard time seeing how acid reflux could cause all those strange symptoms that don't seem to be out there on any website according to my research, and which no medical professional seems able to explain. As you can probably guess, I'm getting a bit desperate. Considering the strangeness of my symptoms, I'm considering whether spiritual problems/blockages/anything could be a factor? I entered the qigong world one year ago in order to smooth out the problems with an energy/kundalini imbalance that I had. It greatly helped. The voice problems however started prior to getting the energy imbalance. Anyone would know if such voice problems could have a spiritual or energetic cause somehow?

Alright guys so here is probably the last update. Turned out Andrei, Manitou and Clarity were all right from the beginning. It was a spiritual process right from the beginning. Something profound happened last week that completely surprised me. A spiritual awakening, I think. Oaww god, I can't believe I never saw the spiritual root of this: Voice loss with symptoms that no doctors could explain. How "surprising" considering the fact that I used to suffer from social phobia related to people hearing my voice. Was probably so blind because the orbit or other exercises did nothing to it. Anyway, the good part is that I had a unique spiritual awakening last week. The voice and sensation in body came back with the snap of a finger. The bad part is that I lost it three days later. What a bummer. Will do a separate thread with my experience and the learning points I noted. Might be interesting for other people on the forum.

Science has not located the mind. There has been found no gland or brain center that with certainty produces the mind. Therefore, you cannot point to the mind and say "there it is". It is believed to be "in the head", but we cannot ascertain that this is true. It is an interesting point. We can keep on searching for the mind or we can regard the search as complete: The mind cannot be physically found. Doing the last thing may be the key to understanding a great deal about reality.

Hi A few years ago I had a spontaneous kundalini release. It brought along many irritating side effects, and I later learned that I had an energy imbalance. I couldn't read, write or concentrate without getting too much energy. This energy created insomnia, muscle twitching, third eye/astral experiences and many other things. Since i found qigong i have used the microcosmic orbit and pan-gu (michael winn) exercises to make me somewhat normal again. And it has greatly helped. I can now read, write, concentrate and get my sleep most of the time without being overburdened by nasty side effects. I have even started meditating again and it doesn't interfer too much with my sleep. One of the things I noticed when the whole thing happened was that my left arm had become extremely light. I can hold it up for a long time without feeling much. When i flex my arm it's like my forearm has no weight at all. It's simply effortless. The right arm has become lighter too but not so much as the left one. I'm starting to think this may somehow be tied into my overall energy imbalance. Would anyone know why the left arm is like this? Is it potentially negative, and do I have a left side of body imbalance? Thanks all

thanks for the post soaring crane. i actually remember the self massage routine. i did it once and it felt quite good. maybe i should take that up again. i certainly do self-massage already in the genital area, so i could easily, err i mean.. no just kidding, will look into the swinging arms technique too.

Hi, no i actually dont warm up before doing qigong. Just sit down and start doing the orbit for thirty minutes. Should i warm up invsone way first?

Thanks for an interesting post clarity, although i must admit i didnt understand everything you wrote? Are you experiencing clairvoyant sensations based on the things i wrote? And how, practically, do i get rid of my weaknesses?

Movies about taoism? - No, because the tao is that which cannot be caught on tape. Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Alright, a final update for you guys. Think I owe it as so many people in here gave advice and helped out. My symptoms are decreasing. Im 4 weeks into taking reflux pills and they help. There's definitely something about food related to this condition. When I eat too much meat it explodes. If I eat a large pizza it explodes. I have to avoid coffee. Eating smaller more frequent meals has helped. No longer have the strong pressure between eyes. Can control fingers. When it was at its worst I had probably lost 80-90% of sensation in jaw, back, neck and shoulder muscles. Now I have probably 50% of my normal sensation in those muscles, so much better. Still feel uncomfortably different though. Still feel like some great nerve has been cut and I have been cut off from my muscles and a layer has been peeled off. And am still surrounded by docs without a clue who do not want to take responsibility for getting to the root of things. It's so god damn annoying I have opted for a private hospital now just to see if their level of service is better (I live in Europe, public hospitals). Hope I will continue to improve..

Am definitely into strenght training. Intensive bodybuilding. Once you start training the right way you can build tremendous strength.

It's an interesting topic for sure, and so far no single experiment has been able to pinpoint the mind. Real-life examples from acupuncture have hinted at the fact that the mind may be more embedded in the body than we would think. I heard of a guy speaking about how he would prick people in certain places in the body, and then old memories would come up. Maybe the mind is a magnetic field with its strongest concentration in our body and head (but perhaps with connection points to a vast infinite unknown)

Alright guys my symptoms have decreased some more. The pain is completely gone now. I no longer have as strong a pressure between the eyebrows. I have regained more control over my fingers. I can use my facial muscles more now. The emotional numbness only lasted one night. Heart is no longer overactive. I however still have the flat msucles. It's like they've lost the tacticle richness and warmth they had before. Perhaps they will get better in the coming weeks. Andrei: Thanks for a very interesting post. To be honest I am still unsure of whether this is spiritually caused or a nerve issue, or perhaps a combination of the two somehow. But your post has got me interested, because I actually do have kundalini syndrome which is why I got into the qigong world in the first place. And your point with the kidneys and fire piques my interest because I had to do the orbit up the water way (instead of the fire way/back) as I was supposedly running too much fire. I think I will check out some of these exercises and start doing them.. Would it be wrong to also do bone rooting and breathing methods also? I'm thinking about those in Michael Winn's Qigong Fundamentals 4?

This is an interesting thread with a lot of wisdom in it. I entered the qigong world mainly to reduce the side effects of spontaneous and accidental kundalini syndrome. As i progressed in the exercises i found myself becoming wiser about the nature of reality and my emotional true self - something that i had not expected but for which i am very grateful. My goal is now to continue and deepen that journey.

Alright, here's the latest update. It sure gets stranger and stranger: Today a lot of the nerve (?) pain has subsided. I no longer have the cutting feeling at the top of my head and shoulders and neck so much. The heart palpitations subsided this evening. It's easier to control my fingers now. The pressure at the third eye and forehead has subsided. I still feel somehow disconnected from my body, like my shoulders are dead and non-reactive meat. Still got the flat muscles and feel like a layer of me has been peeled off. The bodily anxiety has been reduced slightly this evening. A new thing I am experiencing today is emotional numbness. Can't really feel happy or sad about anything. I could earlier this day. I sat in my living room, had finished a meal and was angry at life. Tired of getting goddamn cornered all the time. So I slammed my hands into the table several times. Boy I was angry. Strange thing is it felt cathartic. After I had beat the table for some minutes, there seemed to be an energy shift in my body. And the frustration and anger was replaced with emotional numbness. A sort of nothingness. No real joy or pain about anything. Not especially positive but not negative either, I think. Maybe I am going through a process. Have experienced the following: 1) Build-up of symptoms over the past 14 days, 2) explosion of symptoms with forehead pressed in etc 4 days ago 3) pain and other side effects gradually subside but still feel my body is a dead lump of meat and feel a protective layer has been peeled off 4) side effects gone, still dead body and no protective "skin", emotional numbness. Let's hope the next days will see me being readjusted into my body and emotions again. I've done some searching and I think my vagus nerve may have been damaged. Perhaps from the acid fumes. It seems like the most rational physical explanation for now. It explains the voice problems, heart palpitations, bodily anxiety (sympathetic nervous system overstimulated). And it explains why I feel my head is on a "stilk" of a body, as the vagus nerve runs up the head and branches out from there. I did deep breathing this morning and visualized my vagus nerve as a healthy cord of golden light. Seemed to work. Thanks for the tip re the hyperthorodism. Will definitely pose that question..

Thanks for the replies again guys. Manitou, I think I know what you mean. Actually the kind of psychological treatment I got was designed at giving me a greater insight into my thoughts. And I actually found out that the social phobia was due to the fact that I bullied myself. I had negative deep thoughts that I weren't aware of. Once I became aware of them, the anxiety rushes stopped controlling me, and eventually faded (because I didn't care about them). But somehow this condition seems to bring some it back up - I have like a bodily nervousness, like my system is shaking, and old fears that I had conquered now reemerge in the sense that my body is doing the "afraid-ness" and not so much my mind anymore. I'm still not sure whether the causation is physical, nerve-related, spiritual or everything mixed together. On one hand I haven't used my voice for a long time, so that can't be the reason. It sounds extreme if acid reflux is able to cause it. On the other hand I can't see how it's completely spiritually caused as there is a very direct physical link to it: The voice "pops" have occurred out in bars and clubs with loud music etc., which is a rather common occurrence among those with dysphonia. When I've had voice breaks it usually got better - until some time ago when it spiraled out of control and the symptoms would persist even without talking. My qigong exercises don't seem to affect it in any way either - have done the orbit, pan-gu, inner smile regularly. No effect. To answer your questions: Yes, I have a spiritual teacher, Michael Winn, and am doing his qigong system (a bit the same as Mantak Chia's). Am overall very satisfied with him and my progress within it. Started because of an energy imbalance/semi-kundalini. There are still a few things I can't do without getting energy side effects - can't do things such as enlarging my energy body, projecting energy outside of me etc. Have done the fundamentals and started the fusion practices a couple of weeks ago. Had to stop though as it was too much, probably because it turns out i skipped some of the fundamentals (bone breathing and rooting), which i am to do next now. Manitou: To be honest I just feel bullied by life. There are so many things right in front of my nose, that I could try and achieve if just I had a goddamn voice. Interesting women with great smiles that I see on the street. They look at me, and I want to approach them. But I don't have a voice. A business idea that I'm passionate about and that I want to start. But I've got no voice. Friends that I want to see and spend time with. Talk and laugh the night away in good company. But I have no voice. A bit irritating, as you can imagine.. The side effects have worn down a bit today and my sleep was better. But it sure is weird: I had lost much of my contact with my nerves yesterday. I could punch a fork with almost full force into my shoulder several times without feeling much. I can't feel energy that well anymore when doing the orbit. I'm thinking that maybe the vagus nerve has been damaged by acid reflux fumes.. I don't know. I'm really at the point where I don't know. Next step is to contact a private hospital as the public hospital (I live in Europe) is taking ages to schedule an appointment. Will see a neurologist and gastro-intestinal and throat doctor all together, I hope. If they can't say anything intelligent, next step will be to try accupressure or -puncture. Or maybe I should just get really drunk? Probably not a good idea, but seems inviting anyway .

Thanks again for all the posts. Must admit I'm a bit overwhelmed at all the help I'm receiving in here.. Short update on the problem: For some reason, it seems to get worse. I've been doing an alkaline diet for a week. Been on proteine pump inhibitors for 2,5 days. Taking care of my stomach in general and don't have any pain there. But the voice is still gone or rather reduced to a croaking version of its former self. And my nerve symptoms persist. It's a very unusual feeling: Feels like some "layer" has been peeled of off me; which has left me raw and unprotected. I don't have the same feeling in my body anymore. Feels like my muscles are dead and non-responsive meat hanging on a skeleton. The feeling I have in my body is that of a tire where the rubber has been peeled off and the metal is grinding against the road. I know that sounds a bit extreme and believe me it's not that painful, just uncomfortable. Feels like I've got little knives pointing down at my shoulders and top of my head. My entire forehead is being pressed inwards and there's a pressure in my third eye. My heart area feels tight. I'm not sleeping more than three hours per night now. I must really somehow have damaged my nervous system, which is strange as i haven't talked for more than a month, and still it gets worse. Don't really feel like I've got much of a fighting chance anymore. Another strange thing is that at the same time I am incredibly aware of the present moment, for some reason. Much more than I've been before. Somehow I can't help but think if this is some kind of karmic "revenge" or the like. It just seems like the perfect storm: I was bullied in school and developed social phobia from I was 18-28, until I was cured by a psychologist. Then, being cured, I rejoiced in my new opportunity to partake in life, only half a year later to witness my early voice problem becoming more and more debilitating. That was four years ago, and the past two to three years it has left me increasingly socially isolated. I dreamed of finally being able to create a career for myself, to find a girlfriend, but that has been put on hold again - indefinitely. I don't know if I believe in karma - am still new to the spiritual world. But I'm beginning to think I might have done something horrible in a past life - molested old women or similar, and am paying for it know.. Thanks for all the info regarding acupressure and the throat chakra. I've noted these down, and to be honest that's probably going to be my next strategies. When I showed the doctor a piece of paper with my symptoms his face went blank : That's a typical problem with doctors, as goldisheavy also points out: They know the standard stuff but not more than that. I fear I'm making the poor old fella nervous when I show him a list of symptoms that conflict with everything he knows about voice disorders

Guys, thanks for the answers so far. Chidragon: No I'm not an excessive masturbator. I probably have around 3 ejaculations per week - which from a quick google search seems to be below the medically "excessive" category. I have considered scaling down though, as many people report it to be beneficial for qigong process (and quality of life in general). Anoesejka, thanks for the answer. I was actually at the specialist clinic last week and they could see I had an inflamed esophagus too. Probably from acid reflux. But it just puzzles me how it can cause all those weird side effects - especially considering the fact that they persist after having been on a very alkaline diet for one week and counting (doesn't seem to work). How long was your esophagus inflamed? And which kind of acupressure did you apply? Manitou: It's a good point, but I don't think this is what caused it. In fact, since I started qigong I've been amazed at the degree to which I have "discovered" my emotions - and the authenticity with which I now communicate them. Especially the pan-gu exercise has helped me with that.

Hi, I recently had some mild surgery done on my head, and am noticing a much longer healing time. I do a lot of energy work - the qigong practices from michael winn and mantak chia. Can energy work actually cause your scars to stay red for longer time - due to the activity going on? Anyone had any similar experience?

A scar from the Falklands War? Damn, gotta admit my scar is from a less impressive cause ;-) Thanks for the tips, will try to implement some more deep breathing..

Hi guys Hope you can help me with an answer to something that is really eating away at my quality of life.. I recently started doing the Microcosmic Orbit about three weeks ago. I started the exercise as I wanted to manage my kundalini syndrome. About two years ago I got a "minor" kundalini release, and since then I have had to stay away from concentration, relaxation exercises and meditation - because they would increase the energy and give me insomnia. I started doing the MCO as I had been instructed that it would cure this symptom by grounding the energy inside ones body. I've been doing it daily, and I must admit that it feels like it's doing the opposite: More energy is being released in my body, and my insomnia has worsened. It's at the point now where I'm unable to take naps anymore, and I sleep so bad that I don't have energy to read/write, be creative or social.. My taoist teacher has suggested I try and run the exercise in reverse - up the front and down the spine, so as to stimulate more water production in my system, to counter the fire production. Maybe this will help.. But so far the same has happened as when I've done concentration exercises before: The energy is boosted, which results in insomnia. My question is: Is this "normal"? Is it to be expected and will it fade as I become more experienced in these exercises? Have you experienced something like this yourselves, and would you know what to do? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated, as it's really starting to affect my quality of life..

You need to contact Robert Bruce - expert on all things astral and a highly intelligent man. He has fought and defeated these things for years. www.astralbob.com

Hi. This last comment you made was incredibly interesting. Can abstract thinking and actively thinking in order to understand greater levels of complexity in the world actually create imbalanced energy? - Because I'm definitely guilty of that. I can't stop reading about philosophy, history, sociology. And I am constantly taking notes and creating new theories about how the world works and why. It's something I find incredibly stimulating.. I hadn't figured it could be a reason for imbalanced energy?..

Hey mate. Good questions, and I appreciate the philosophy you explained above.. What are you seeking in terms of your energy practice? Basically a way to integrate my energy imbalance in a more harmonious way, so that I don't have to suffer from chronic insomnia, adrenal fatigue, brittle lever and all the other potential side effects that come with prolonged insomnia.. How did the whole "kundalini" experience kick off for you? It kicked off about 2,5 years ago when I was experimenting with breath meditation for the first time. Ten days into the practice, I felt super energized and ecstatic after a meditation session. This continued for some time, until I got a more significant release, and have not been able to make the energy go dormant since. In the beginning i had some crazy experiences - seeing negative entities, shaking all over, pressures in the third eye, electric teeth, lucid dreaming - perhaps even spontaneous nightly astral travel.. Today it is less extreme, but if I concentrate for prolonged periods, the energy and insomnia starts building again. How has it affected your perception of reality? Both yes and no. The initial experience did not affect my perception of reality. But after 4 months, I had an incredible awakening. I have found it hard to describe in words.. But I reacted with fear to the whole experience. Intense, utter fear.. My whole life revolved around finding ways to "make it stop". I existed in this state of perpetueal anxiety for 4 months, until I one day sat in my couch and thought "but wait a second.. I don't feel bad?.. I don't have any pain.. So why do I feel so bad? - Well that's because my mind is telling me to feel bad. But that's ridiculous, because that's just my thoughts? I am creating my own situation with my thoughts!" Perhaps for the first in my life, I really became aware of my internal chatter - my internal voice. I sat down in my couch and laughed. Just laughed. Because 5 minutes ago I felt horrible, and now I felt good. Nothing had objectively changed. - Only my perspective had changed. The next morning I woke up to a wonderful June morning, and I noticed that for the first time in my life I was really conscious of "myself". I had very little internal chatter - and the thoughts I did have, I were conscious of. And I was conscious of the present moment, and of what I felt was my true self; a conscious presence behind my eyes, choosing to look out of my eyes, choosing to exist and live in this world. Since then all I have very little interest in negative feelings: Deep regret, hate, anger, jealousy.. Because they are not "necessary". You don't "have" to have them - they are constructions you create with your own thoughts, your own subconscious relating.. But you can choose not to choose them.. Long explanation, but I hope it made sense. It is the greatest experience I ever had, and it is the reason for why I can have all of these irritating side effects now from the MCO, without panicking.

Thanks for the feedback.. I have almost no experience with meditation. The funny thing is that it is not affecting my mental state whatsoever. I only have physical side effects..