Birch

Go see that thread on opening up. IMO it carries many hints and clues about the "what" and "why" you might be after. I think it might be different for everyone, even if there are common threads running through Has it changed me? Off the top of my head I have to say no, but then it's as if I almost can't recall things being any other way. Which if you think about it, is pretty weird in itself. But if I consider it deeper, I guess there's a confidence that wasn't there before, some "problems" have also just disappeared, I just can't feel them any more - it's like they never happened (although I recall they did). Susan suggested looking to friends and family for measurement. I think that's an interesting perspective on it but I wouldn't necessarily look to a moving target for a measure on another moving target Personally I'd look at circumstances, overall health, understanding of stuff that used to seem esoteric... Oh, I ought to mention I'm presently halfway between hell and somewhere else so until I get my skillz fully (there's that Guzzi reference again) on I'm probably not a good example When it comes to other people, I'm sure I do stuff that unsettles them, an example is really looking into their eyes when I'm listening to them, seems not everyone likes that very much. And let's not forget, if someone is saying something and the vibes don't match, well, whole n'other thing.

"remember adyashanti saying was that as he became more and more open, there was this point where he was so vulnerable that it became kind of an all or nothing thing. if there was one shred of attachment to "ego" arising, then even a small slight from someone could feel like a sword just brutally ripping it's way through his entire being. but to let that tiny thread of investment go, then there was only transparency and a sword going "whooosh"." Well that's what I'm talking about (I think) and it's no fun at all. The feeling used to be dimmer and I can honestly say I miss it being dim I don't think there's only one way to resolve this thing. What did he say happened after the whooshing? I also ought to point out that many people are in fact brutal to each other, despite being friends or family. What if this is the darn truth?

I agree with a lot of this but I'm not quite sure that what is being referred to in this part: "Changing any one or combination of these factors results in new and varied things being coded for. Two weeks of eating something and your body starts making those metabolic pathways more solid at the expense of certain other, less frequently utilized ones" is actually the DNA "doing" coding for "new and varied things." rather than that just being an available variant of its expression. The Gingko thread went nicely into the "learning" and experience of plants. And as far as I can tell, those plants don't "push it" as far as their learning goes. Hence IMO the potential dangers of "wrong gong". Can one make their system too alkaline for example? And what are the consequences of that? Some nifty pranayama (sp?) might give you a buzz but for the longer term, it might not be a really great idea to stay in that state...practicalities aside.

I don't reckon it's quite as simple as that. I figure DNA to be in a dynamic relationship (now obviously this begs at least one question "with what?") And we so obviously have examples of cell-growth out of "normal" relationship. Trying to hack your DNA seems to me to be somewhat risky, although the idea of a "reset" sounds ok... I mean, we're not salamanders...

Interesting though. Because if you consider it, many "organs" do have regenerative capacity. There was another cool thread on what I'd term "micro-injury" (I think it was on stretching) which seems to lead to "regeneration"

More familiar things. The first time it happened, I felt all ashamed and embarrassed and then I had to wonder "wait a minute, what's embarrassing about this feeling?" Well, turned out for me it was in the embarrassing/shameful category for reasons I really can't recall. So I just took the category off. I was however somewhat relieved to read the jing/serotonin thread because yes those spontaneous O's have been plaguing me for a while. Hahaha. Who would've thunk it that meditation could take one there :-) ? But isn't it kind of cool ?

I suspect I may have never gotten to meet and discuss with many good folks and teachers had it not been for internet. And mainly TTBs As a result, yes, I am not faithful to one lineage or teacher, yes I pick and choose and strangely enough, lots of teachers have "appeared" to me as a result of me being simply online and sharing this and that back and forth. Some have also run in the opposite direction. But at least I'm pretty sure it wasn't due to my lack of respect. If you have it offline, you should have it online :-) There have been moments where I felt/was strongly linked with one teacher and then that faded. People here have healed me. Isn't that incredible?? Perhaps my commitment to a specific practice isn't "enough" for many who teach. Yet I have also discussed with others the idea of taking up practices in a way that's pretty much as far as you can get from the "goal-oriented" approach we're talking about. The reason I am not currently training with several of the awesome teachers on TTBs is a direct result of this way of asking what I should be training. Goals are set by small i. That's about as clear as I can suggest it. I think my age might put me halfway between old and new schools but my experience so far has been that whether online or off, things pretty much seem to happen.

"Heart Spoon"?? I just found it long. Not very scary. Quite threatening, like an old grandmother who is upset at seeing her grandchild laugh and play and wants to scare them (uh, me ;-)) with horrible stories of her wasted life. Why contemplate this one Mal? There are so many other ones.

Thank you very much Snowmonki for this reference. I have great hope that it will help me solve the problem :-) I happened upon this on the website "The Lover Within If you have ever felt energy from a person or a situation, this book will reassure you that you are not crazy. This exploration of energy and sexuality teaches how to develop energetic skills (perceiving energy and energetic exchange) in any relationship (sexual or not), including your relationship with yourself. In seventy-eight exercises that you can practice alone or with others, Julie gives us the basics of a tantra adapted to the West. She teaches how to create boundaries and how to merge. She talks about bad energetic habits -- compression, diffusion, disappearance -- and how to replace them with other habits that allow you to pulse and live as an energetic being. ($20 USA, $22 Int'l, now also available at Amazon.com)" I love books (and people) that reassure me that I am not crazy :-) I wouldn't have thought for a minute to look for that book by myself. It didn't occur to me that the energy I'm feeling is "sexual" in nature - and it seems it isn't always, but I guess the best way to get people interested in this stuff is to call it out as xxx :-) Mucho gusto!

Now THIS is a discussion that I'm going to find very useful. I have same "problem" in that i just pick up the vibes of the people i am with and end up literally feeling whatever they are feeling. With people who are angry or have "icky" vibes, it's just not pleasant at all. A few solutions seem to be available. "healing" the person so their ickiness doesn't affect you, hide away in some solitude somewhere, put up some kind of symbolic "shield" or stop being an "i" entirely so it all breezes past. I've tried all of the above but it just pisses me off that i have to make the effort while the icky people get to continue being icky. And don't get me started on " intentions" - when someone throws a nasty one in my face it's like a dagger. Oh yes i'll have some compassion for the fear or desire that drove the person to feel that way but i find myself thinking "not fair" more and more often about this stuff. It also causes me to want to avoid certain people. Some of whom are friends and just wouldn't get it. Oh also aside, the basic fact that admitting to such things will get me a "crazy" label faster than you can get to the corner store...

+1 to Mr Apech. Yes, I've been trying to figure out this "spirit" thing and so far all I've come up with is that it's unseen (as opposed to the material stuff we see every day), unconditioned, i.e. not the small "i" that seems to get so easily conditioned; has its origin in the unseen and unformed and tends to be associated with "something good".

Zoloft?????? Oh well, i guess we are there :-( +1 Mr MH for a well-figured post that left enough space for spirit :-) I read elsewhere that this "not knowing" is also conditioned. Made sense to me anyway. Then I thought about it and i wondered, why would i ever go somewhere i know nothing about, nor am likely to in my lifetime, except for through a very narrow perspective. Then I remembered the latter is called a "vacation" :-) For sure, living every day as if you were on vacation is kind of weird, maybe just Big Lebowski-weird, but weird nonetheless. :-)

Yes, this sounds familiar. Here is what I consider "helps". I'm not an expert so take this as an experienced opinion only:-) "Ground" yourself as much as possible. Take very good care of your body. Take good care of your mindfulness and have compassion for yourself in shovels. You'll get coherence back through cultivation IMO/IME. Make sure it's balanced body/mind. I wonder if cutting back on meditation wouldn't be a good idea? I recall reading it's "better" to keep it up but I can't recall why. IME it was worth scaling back a bit if you have been very intense. Definitely agree with the tai-chi suggestion but IMO anything you engage your whole being in would be worth it. Hang in there :-) IMO/IME it gets better :-)

Is there a sudden confusion between "immortality" and "not getting caught"??? Of course, if I never got caught I might do all kinds of crazy stuff.

I dunno man, if you're really into all that Taoist stuff then you might at least start by playing it "into the wind". You know, spend a bit of time (whatev's) shooting the breeze with folks. Then maybe, maybe. On the other hand, if you're full-on tantric, then blast away:-p But please stop with the double-posting, you might be wasting bandwidth

Call me soppy. But I just noticed that TTB's seems to have an awesome range of folks on it. I don't think I've (so far) had the experience of being in the company of so many "high-level" (whatever that means to you) people at one time. Woah. Thanking

Hi Aaron, My good wishes with you too! "This is the thing that people keep forgetting. Enlightenment isn't about never experiencing problems, but rather understanding the nature of your problems. I understand that none of this matters, but that it also matters. Living your life doesn't end once you've reached an understanding of how the world works (or you think it works) you still have to live your life. I am doing what I can to live my life." Bingo! And I would agree with MH that none of this means you have to lie down in abject acceptation. Because it matters:-) (having understood it doesn't, I'd look to the part of it that does:-))

In exchange for an "on topic" response to the question i have one for you Everything. If I was immortal, well I don't know what I'd do because as I've already stated, "i" am not but i am. So i have to conclude that i would do exactly what i'm doing:-) So what do you mean by? "Challenging men is deeper then you know." I've heard that before. It felt mildly threatening the first time I read it. But I figure rather than react, I get an opportunity to understand:-)

What was all that about/for? Mal is a fellow KAP friend and what he's saying speaks to my own experience. Attributing "unconsciousness" to others is IMO a very very bad idea:-)

What do you mean? I hope you don't suggest I'm a troll ;-) II think I was suggesting a bit of critical thinking be levelled at systems. Which O has done, and pretty well at that. Or are we not supposed to "think" at all?

Something Susan mentioned in another post. I think to always equate "spiritual" with some kind of happy-go-lucky love-drenched "ultimate" goal is a big mistake. Then there's that relentless "everything is ok" idea. Edited:typo

Yeah, sorry. I was feeling cynical. And annoyed by the whole my-system-better-than-your-system thing. Aside from my opinion that there's something sinister under that. I don't think it starts out that way (at least I hope not) but I also have to wonder about things like raising K in warriors...

--O-- IMO that just seems "bad" of you to suggest what you just did. I know there's a bunch of systems around and that each culture and country claims their own is the best one. But while the different systems seem to share a lot between them, IMO (and small microscopic experience)they pretty much all do (or get the practitioner to do) very similar things. Well I guess, so far, that's what I've found. IMO the only goal that might differ between the different systems is the teacher's goal. And why that would be is not clear to me yet. I've found the latter to be the most difficult aspect of practice (and teachers and all the rest)

Edited: for not being on my regular cp and double-posting as a result

For sure. What I mean is that's what I figured so far, but I'm not entirely certain of it either. So what is one to do? I dunno! Sometimes I wish I never knew that stuff. But maybe the stuff needs me to know. Otherwise I/it would have let myself sleep on. Right? I'd like to think so anyway ;-) ---whooosh- big deja vu just swept by--- Which I now know is not actual prefiguring of momentary..., nor prefiguring of anthing else. So it's kind of meaningless - until you attribute meaning to it..blah de blah... OT - I found a bunch of k-stuff online. I think that was helpful :-)