Birch

http://www.amazon.com/Enough-Breaking-Free...854&sr=8-16 That would be it! Hahahahhahaha! Try here http://www.amazon.co.uk/Enough-Breaking-fr...7080&sr=1-1 --shoes-- he had to mention the shoes

Hi Petro, Yep, I read the book around a year ago or so. I know, I don't do it justice because it is so well written. I liked what you said about comparing with oneself. I`m not very sure that I do that so much any more as the payoffs are higher when you don't. You can take the pressure off;-) The other book I'd recommend in a similar vein is called 'Enough' and I can't remember the author. It's more about what drives us people to want stuff and more stuff all the time. According to this guy, it's not really our 'fault' but more like we just haven`t evolved ALL of our brains at the same speed (or we have some evolutionary survival hangovers) so we're stuck with some quaint ideas about scarcity and the like (I can't remember all of it). Also makes a case for why we get so freaked out when we hear about some random violent event on the other side of the world. Lots of other goodies in there. One of the things I took away from that one is that it's actually more enjoyable for people to desire things than to satisfy those desires. As I think I've already said, how boring is going to the store when you actually NEED something ;-)? Cheers, Kate

This is a cool discussion. I'll throw in (sorry no stats available but I suppose I could go off and find the studies, probably in Daniel G's book): - your happiness with respect to your wealth (assuming basic needs are met) could be very dependent on who you compare yourself with. This is why people try to 'keep up with the Jones'' - despite not knowing Mr and Mrs Jones' real subjective level of happiness. I guess the solution to that one is to stop comparing. - your happiness with respect to what is probable in terms of gain in wealth. Note I didn't say 'possible'. I suppose it's another kind of comparison. We have mostly all heard of the 'American Dream'. People who are unable to attain that (possibility, not probability) may being kicking themselves down because they think they ought to be able to achieve it and when they can't, they reject themselves, get depressed etc. It's apparently more likely that kids will not gain or lose very many income points over the course of their lives in comparison with their parents and that any 'parental' effect takes 3 generations to stop having an effect. So while rags to riches (and the opposite) stories have been built up into myth (probably a reason for that;-)) in practice, you're most likely to be about as well off as your parents. The final idea is not really money-related but it's more about accepting that we cannot definitively drive away all negativity, and that this is probably not desirable as there has to be some if you want to experience positive things, in fact, if there isn't, then you can't because you need a negative thing to compare it to. What a circle! So I guess if you don't have any negative things for yourself, then do you make them up? Or I imagine an easier way is to compare... Once you're fine with this idea, then some things seem sweeter and some negative things don't have quite so much weight. I wonder if some cultures aren't more prone than others to believing that everything can always be positive all the time? In which case, could that possibly explain all the neuroleptics it consumes? Cheers, Kate

I found some nice entrainment mp3's online for free that I double up with whatever's playing on LastFM. I`m a definite sitting meditation slacker;-)

Nice!

Hey Mat (haven`t exchanged ideas with you for a while, it's most welcome!) You've hit the nail on the head! I suppose I was being a bit too flippant when I commented. Sorry! Thanks for the heads up on how the example could be understood as the world. I had just taken it to be all the same thing and in error assumed that people reading this would go 'oh yes, I can see that when she wrote about the cat and the construction sites'. OT: One of the earliest things I learned was 'Never assume' - I've been doing way too much of that recently;-) Cheers, Kate

Well, if the sound bothers you, stop making it No, seriously, I have a cat that 'knows' exactly when to annoy me by meowling for stuff. Every day, several times a day. Facing the meowling cat, I've learned a huge amount about acceptance. You can also count in there the fact that everywhere I've lived for the past 13 years (and I've moved a lot!) has been close to a construction site or renovations of some kind. And even more seriously, isn't the whole point of some meditation to not escape but to experience things as they are?? Had I been the annoyed monk, it's likely I would have gone down to the party at least for a while;-) Cheers, Kate

So, Dirk, you finally met him! I'm not very suprised that you met him on a train somewhere, he was always a bit of a pilgrim. Anyway, that's some news you've brought. I loved this story. Are you concerned whether I think it's fiction or not? Of course not;-) Go read my story about the horse;-)

Cool post. I've found Toastmasters to be particularly helpful (as well as being inexpensive). There are clubs all over the world. Apart from the help that it gives you with public speaking, it`s just nice to go there of an evening to hear what other people are talking about when they are free to do so (i.e. not in a corporate or 'goal-oriented' discourse) It feels (at least where I go) quite like a campfire talking evening. I've heard some really amazing stories. The organisation's overpromotion of itself can get annoying. I thought that was kind of weird, but I took it as a lesson in PR speaking and not too seriously (would suggest not taking anything too too serious is a good call for anything.

I don`t know about boxing (or anything else about martial arts except as a kind of theoretical thing) but my take is that you would 'apply' Tao to boxing. I`m experimenting it with horseriding and getting very cool results.

Looks like a girl to me. But guessing some guys would say she's ambiguous because her breasts aren't what they'd define as feminine. So I get your dig. I'd love to quote Shakira's line about hers here but won't;-) Pat, you're terribly provoc with this thread. What's up? If you want to do Kunlun, just go ahead. If your guy Max is a dud then you'll find out soon enough. I'm too scared/cynical to do it myself. Not a problem though, I've got a whole other bunch of weird stuff to try since I discovered this forum. Cheers, Kate

Shake your rump - Beastie Boys Well, yeah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKJQLorRm7M yep

Riding over bubble wrap on my bicycle in my backyard.

I have a packet of "veggie bacon" :-( I started to eat things that don't have faces because it was getting weird for me. Then for a spell I couldn't eat soft boiled eggs because of thinking about beaks. Sigh. I have sushi left. Prawns are underwater insects in my book. Until when? Veggie bacon sucks. Veggie chicken is pretty close to the compressed crap they sell anyway. But, boy, does veggie bacon NOT get it. I was thinking it would be more honest of me to go hunting. But I don't think I can :-(

I'll second the dairy product producing mucus. You can buy the critters without the dairy as well if you just want those. What's going (went?) on on Monday? Maybe you should just take it as a cue to rest (but agree you have to pretend/intend to be just on vacation rather than "sick" ;-) I'm "sick" right now as well. Good excuse to wonder about things, slow down, read books, plan my next move...

There's quite a number of supplements available that can help depending on what the underlying issues are. As I've already mentioned, I would never suggest taking anything without good strong research first. In additon, if you are taking any other medications, I would definitely check for safety in combining things. And, just because it's a 'supplement' or 'herbal', doesn't mean it isn't as active or potent as some manufactured medications. It's ALL chemicals;-) That being said, GABA certainly has had a positive effect on me so far. It was like turning off the light switch when it came to anxiety. I started having serious anxiety issues when I quit smoking over a year ago (we could also suggest that I was self-medicating for dopamine insufficiency when I was smoking and that quitting just brought everything to the surface ;-)). I would also suggest taking anxiety to task as fast as you can to nip it in the bud. It's something that can form a bad feedback loop and escalate. Exposure to anxiety-producing situations is extremely helpful. Sitting with the feelings also. I saw some nice advice from others on the Kunlun for social anxiety thread. Some good techniques available from Buddhist practices. The grounding exercises are also especially good. Wishing you all the best! Kate

Yep, approval is a tricky one. You're right to stop at it. For me, approval has (too) often been a condition for being loved, unfortunately. I could speculate on why, but it would be far too long;-) Many people I know aren't anywhere near as thoughtful and enlightened as most of the people on TB. Glad to know that you're all here;-) - actually, you're everywhere in the world;-) I'm still thinking that loving yourself (and it can just be acceptance) is a condition for feeling the love that others have for you. If you don't love yourself to some extent, then you just can't feel it when others do, even if they do. It's also a great thing to rely on when others don't love you and don't approve of you. At least, this has been my experience. I agree with give rather than take, but if you don't give from a place where you love yourself, what are you giving? I'm not sure.

Seriously! ...you didn't happen to be at school with me, did you? Dammit!

A few ideas: - Be careful in the sun as UV and infrared can contribute to aging skin a lot - isn't that what tanning is? The downside seems to be vitamin D deficiency (especially prevalent in areas with reduced ozone coverage and to the point where supplements are suggested) http://www.skincarephysicians.com/agingski...basicfacts.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_D - Smoking cigarette ages the crap out of skin and lungs - another reason to quit smoking while you're young is that nasty effects can be kept in check (if not reversed) http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/...928703920070319 http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/14/fashion/14SKIN.html - Sugar intake apparently has some inflammatory effects that can accelerate the path of aging http://www.diabetesincontrol.com/modules.p...cle&sid=632 http://health.msn.com/health-topics/anti-a...entid=100171814 There's also been a lot of info online about how hypocaloried diets can increase lifespans http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/66839.php http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calorie_restriction Not saying that practices may not effect similar, but maybe if you're practicing with longevity in mind, it could be productive to take some of this stuff into account as well. Personally, getting older (well, a bit;-)) led me to feel the effects of whatever I do more accurately so it figured that I would try to avoid the downside ;-) Upside!

Louis Armstrong- Heebie Jeebies on lastfm.com (better replacement since Pandora doesn't broadcast up here anymore) NOW! Ra-ra-rasputin by Boney M. Somehow the LastFM engine decided I would like it (*shame* I actually did. Jeez, if you follow some of this I am (amongst others) : - definitively kitsch (not your problem;-)) - lost somewhere circa minus 1970-1990 plus - a fan of shakin it down - and puttin it owt - ironic, yet stylish - funky - latent shoe-gazer - prog-rock lover ------

You'd be surprised how many of us would like approval and love from everyone else. I may be generalizing, but I'd say 'pretty much everyone' ;-) And those that say they don't need it from anyone are likely attempting to reverse their need by denying it. Probably more harm than good? And what's so wrong with needing love from people? Comments welcome on that question, I'm not sure what could be wrong with that. Maybe what some people do to themselves to get it? But the idea that you can love yourself is a really good one to embrace because however much anyone else loves you, if you don't then it doesn't help very much, does it? It's also a nice base from which you can cultivate love for others. Anxiety is a blight but it's not very dangerous. I've dealt with it in a variety of versions over the years (including panic attacks). I haven't tried Kunlun but have some long-winded ideas I could share if you're interested;-) Scotty! Hard to imagine you being shy;-)

My 2 cts (I'm quit for over a year). Stopping smoking is easy. Dealing with what comes after isn't so easy. What eventually worked for me was the realization that I could separate desire from action. In other words, a lot of people want to give up craving, when in fact all you have to do is to give up smoking. Crave all you want, let yourself do it. Just don't ever smoke again. Also helps to have back up plans like: - massage - acupuncture - people to yell at who won't care - therapist ;-) - sport - whatever floats your boat. Good luck! Kate

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia Oh, and Wednesday and 4 are brown;-) Joking apart, my thought is it may very well be just a mix-up. A verbalised thought about what you or someone else (could be) thinking that gets rerouted through an auditory circuit. And the notion that couples can often finish each others' sentences or tell what the other is thinking is pretty widely accepted as not very weird - although maybe it should be;-) We tend to forget that we hear, see, taste, feel, smell etc with our brain/minds and not the organs themselves. There are some lovely examples of blind people using their skin to see. Really see. If I can find some not in a book, I will post. Misinterpreting one's own feedback can often be a source of anxiety. If you're concerned about psychosis, you should consult. But I would suggest consulting someone with good neuro baggage, not the old-school freudian or the generalist who only knows how to prescribe meds. We have this tendency to equate what we don't yet understand with the supernatural and while we're finding out more and more about ourselves, there's just a lot of stuff that we can't get our heads around, literally. Fatigue is clinically known for seriously screwing with people's functioning. Get some rest and take it easy before jumping to conclusions that could cause even more anxiety, like entities for example. There may or may not be some hanging around, but you know you can also rely on yourself to defend against any 'possessions' - which does sound so very 18th Century anyway;-)

Hum, this issue is possibly more culturally than it is medically based: - carpaccio - steak tartare - camembert, Port Salut - sushi - oysters (non-shucked) - ceviche - yogurt - beer - wine - vinegar - 5 second rule Although, if you've never eaten any of the above, I agree you might get a bit ill the first time.