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Goldleaf, I do psychic readings (not professionally), and I have some ideas that might help you. I feel that you're avoiding something. The problem you have is a way for you to create a sense of existing, a feeling of being real, an ego-identity. It's like unconsciously, you're creating your problem as a way to avoid loss of ego. It gives you something to worry about and focus on. The solution is to look into the defense, the desire to create an ego-identity. The way you can look into the nature of something is to imagine if it wasn't there. Imagine if you didn't have this problem. Would you feel empty? Would you feel insecure? What I really sense is that your problem is a way of avoiding IMPERMANENCE. I think you've unconsciously created your problem as a way to avoid seeing the impermanence of YOURSELF. Just know that your real self, your divine nature, is NOT impermanent. It's beyond time, change, and death. Therefore there's nothing to be afraid of. I hope this helps.

The thing is that the conditioned parts of us are choosing, unconsciously, to be conditioned. But just because the choice is made unconsciously doesn't mean we, or any part of us, isn't "free," it just means we don't consciously feel free or recognize our freedom. I believe we all have only one will- the will of our divine nature. That's the will of every part of us. There's only an illusion of conflict, and even the existence of that illusion is our will. Our will precedes our conditioning, it doesn't follow it.

ACIM says, "Everything that is, has always been." What I believe is that God didn't "create" us- we ARE God. We are FORMS or MANIFESTATIONS of God. At times when I've gotten very, very close to fully accepting my divine nature, this issue would arise. The idea that we were nothing, non-existent, that we didn't exist, and then we came into being when God "created" us, is an unacceptable idea. The heart is dissatisfied with that idea- and rightly so. It's not a truly loving, joyful idea. The truth is imo, as ACIM says, we have ALWAYS existed. God didn't "create" us; He/She/It BECAME us. We are manifestations of God. That is a truly loving, joyful idea. The main reason I'm sharing this is because it's one of the reasons why many people, perhaps some people here, deny the existence of God. The idea that we were once non-existent, and then God created us, doesn't provide a loving view of God or of ourselves.

I came up with a list, each idea starting with "just." One thing that I feel is so powerful about such concepts is that they sidestep the "hows" and "whys." The questions of how and why usually complicate things. Of course, sometimes they're necessary, but often they're an unnecessary distraction. Nike's ad, "Just do it," sidesteps the why, and the idea, "just choose," doesn't worry about HOW to choose. In fact, that IS how......the how is a non-how and the why is a non-why. Please add to this list if you come up with good ones. Just be. Just be aware. Just be yourself. Just be quiet. Just accept yourself. Just let go. Just be still. Just ask. Just listen. Just enjoy life. Just trust. Just have faith. Just be sure. Just think. Just feel. Just love. Just respect yourself. Just wait. Just be patient. Just guess. Just be free. Just notice. Just observe. Just live. Just smile. Just laugh. Just stop. Just don't. Just try. Just stop trying. Just own it. Just give up. Just give in. Just allow. Just relax. Just be happy. Just appreciate. Just have fun. Just believe. Just stay. Just go. Just shut up. Just be at peace. Just obey. Just do as you please. Just follow guidance. Just read. Just meditate. Just pray. Just watch. Just care. Just exercise. Just work. Just play. Just breathe. Just be careful. Just pay attention. Just learn. Just heal. Just grow. Just create. Just forgive. Just begin. Just do something. Just choose. Just make up your mind. Just concentrate. Just cry. Just scream. Just don't give up. Just fight. Just search. Just stop searching. Just swallow your pride.

I experienced a very great healing recently when I was in Myrtle Beach. I went to a restaurant I always go to when I'm there, and ordered the southwestern tacos. They come with jalepenos, and I really like jalepenos. Well, the waitress forgot to bring the jalepenos. So I was waiting for her to come back to the table so I could ask her for them. Then I thought to myself, after I finish eating here, my dining experience will be in the PAST, and in a sense, it won't matter if I got to enjoy the jalepenos. It was really amazing how much better I felt. It may seem like a petty thing to be so frustrated about, not getting to have a certain food, but I was pretty bummed out sitting there waiting for her to come back to the table until I thought about the impermanence. I didn't end up asking her for them, because I finished my tacos before she came back. After I thought about the impermanence, I felt 100% better and felt no need at all for the jalepenos.

I recently realized that I had a fear of not existing. But it wasn't a fear of physical death. It was a fear that I didn't truly exist. After contemplating it for a while, it occurred to me that I knew darned well that I exist, and that was when I overcame my fear that I didn't exist. Then something extrordinary occurred. I realized that I was never really afraid that I didn't exist; it wasn't non-existence that I feared, but EXISTENCE, my own divine reality. ACIM says that "what seems to be the fear of death is really its attraction." And why are we "attracted" to death? Because we fear LIFE. I used to have this fear of going to bed at night, so I would stay up very late. It SEEMED that I was afraid of non-being, of emptiness, nothingness, "death." Going to bed meant facing oblivion, the impermanence of life and of myself. It meant loss of experiential existence. That seemed to be what I was afraid of. But when I looked deeper, I saw that going to bed didn't mean death- it meant LIFE!! Staying up all night wasn't an escape from death, it was an avoidance of, an escape from, life. ACIM would say that my staying up so late arose, not out of a fear of death, but out of an attraction to it. It was a way to avoid life, not death. So when I finally overcame this fear, or rather, attraction, I realized that I never really honestly believed in it in my heart at all. It was just a huge defense.

I've read a few books about NDE's, and I find them very convincing. Check out the website near-death.com , and scroll down the home page to the section "notable NDE's" to read about some very extraordinary NDE's.

Hi Marid. I have a few ideas that can help you tremendously. Begin by praying about it and declaring your intention. Be very clear about what you want- health, healing, growth, etc., then just ask God, your Higher Self, or the Universe that it be done. What to do next, and this is very important, is place no limit on God's, or on your divine nature's, ability to make it happen. The power within you is infinite, and can easily accomplish anything. It might take time, but just know that the healing power within you is unlimited. Thirdly, know that the healing journey is unfolding perfectly, exactly as it should. Everything is in divine order. As far as what to do next, just follow your heart, follow guidance, and do whatever makes you happy, do whatever you're comfortable with and feel good about. Enjoy the journey. I hope this helps. Peace.

Manitou, Another thing is that healings don't always have immediate effects. Often the healing is a seed of or beginning of a healing journey. One time I performed a healing on a woman who had mouth sores, she could hardly eat because of it. Within about a week after I did the healing, she found out that taking probiotics basically completely solved the problem. Was the healing I performed what led to that discovery? It's likely in my opinion. She had had the problem all her life, and she suddenly discovered a perfect solution. It can seem like a big disappointment, because the healer might rather that the healing happen instantaneously, but often what happens is it's the fuel for future success.

This is very easy and simple, and works incredibly well. Just repeat the affirmation, "I am beautiful and worthy," a minute or so every day. It's unnecessary to do so for long periods of time. Basically, you're getting in touch with and manifesting the beauty (both spiritual and sexual) and worthiness of your divine nature. It will change how you see yourself and how others see you.

Manitou, I've performed several healings, including of physical ailments. These are my thoughts about healing and techniques I use: 1. Sickness is an illusion; everyone is already healthy, in actuality. This can sometimes be experienced by saying something like "I acknowledge that this sickness isn't real. And so it is," or, "Thank you God that I'm already perfect and healthy." To perform a healing on another person, you could say, "This sickness isn't real. You know that in your heart. I bless that knowledge of yours now." 2. The illusion of sickness is a "call for love." It means the person needs love and their divine identity. You can often heal people by laying your hand on them and saying something like, "This sickness means you need love. The truth is that you ALREADY have the love you need. You know that in your heart. I bless that knowledge within you." Doing this can heal the sickness because it meets the need that the sickness expressed. 3. UNDERNEATH the illusory sickness is divine love. You can heal people by saying, "Love is the Source of your sickness. I bless that love within you. I set it free." These are some of the techniques I've used in healing myself and others.

I agree. "Physical alone" healing would only deal with the symptoms of the sickness, but not the causes. It wouldn't solve the actual problem.

Jax, I understand your teaching about immediate enlightenment and release. Only (and this must seem like a total contradiction) it took me a lot of time to achieve it! lol It's just the fact that there's no problem, there's nothing wrong, and there's no need for understandings other than what one already has. Whatever people are doing is ALREADY sufficient, already good enough. It's a letting go that doesn't require effort, just the simple understanding that there's nowhere to "get to" and one's choices are sufficient already. It's difficult to put into words, and must be experienced to be understood, as I'm sure you know.

That's very important and I agree. Healing only requires effort if one believes it does, and thereby creates the illusion that it does. The most effective approach to healing imo is to let the understanding that the sickness isn't real SPONSOR one's attempts to heal. Efforts to heal should ARISE OUT OF the understanding that sickness is an illusion. That underlying knowledge will then create its own likeness- health.

Thanks MH. That's exactly what I needed to hear. If I'm HONEST with myself, I'll let go, I'll forgive, I'll do what I need to do for myself. This has been a major problem for me in the past, and your words inspire me to solve the problem. To thine own self be true!

I just wanted to add something to this that I just thought of that I need to learn more deeply myself. When it comes to creating your own reality, there's the absolute and the relative. In the absolute sense, everything you experience is the will of your divine nature......from that point of view, the fact that you create your own experience is an absolute and includes the totality of your life. A deeper part of you is in total control of your life. In the relative, most people don't have much CONSCIOUS control over their lives, and our suffering really isn't our fault. Until one gains the wisdom and power necessary to consciously manifest their experience, they will only have very limited capacity to do so.

I just wanted to share with you all a practice I've used, and very successfully, to deal with attacks by others. First let me say that to many people, maybe even to some of you, this might seem self-sacrificial and suicidal. Nothing could be further from the truth. The power and healing that doing what I'm gonna suggest gives one is profound. It is, imo, the ultimate way of handling attacks. ACIM says this is "using atonement as a defense." It says this is the ONE "defense" that can only bless. It's to see the attacker as making a "call for love," and then ANSWERING that call. In other words, give the one attacking the love they're asking for. ALL "attack" is a call for love. To "answer" that call is profoundly healing and empowering for both the giver and receiver. For me, it doesn't leave me feeling like I've sacrificed myself- quite the opposite. To do this is to give YOURSELF the love YOU need, that is being reflected by the attacker. In other words, the attacker is mirroring something that needs to be healed in yourself.

My first teacher told me about 24 years ago that love, if it is truly love, must be loving toward oneself AND everyone else as well. Self-love is not truly self-loving unless it is loving toward others, and an act of love toward another isn't truly loving toward them unless it is self-loving. Well, it took me a couple decades to get the point. I feel that this idea can be grasped, or "remembered," it can click with you, kind of like an enlightenment experience. Another thing is that it should be seen as an absolute. One way to see it as an absolute is to consider the nature of choice itself. Every choice is either born of love, or of fear. If it is truly born of love, it will be loving toward oneself, and all beings. If it is born of fear, it will be loving toward no one, including oneself. Krishnamurti said that people see love as "the conflict between the me and the not-me." I feel that one can overcome that conflict by grasping this truth.

ALL "attacks" against others are attacks against ONESELF. And ALL blessings given to others are a blessing to the giver. It's a wonderful thing, isn't it? I love you guys.

I just thought of a time when I was profoundly loved by another, and I was very uncomfortable with it. This is a rather extreme example. When I was a teenager, I was good friends with a guy about ten years older than I, he kind of took me under his wing and helped me spiritually. He definitely wasn't my teacher, just a very good friend who I really needed at that point in my life. Well, one time we were at a restaurant and he said something like, "You have a good heart. There should be more people in the world like you," and he said it very lovingly. It was definitely the most loving he had ever been towards me. I was deeply hurt, I couldn't handle it. I had shown him great love, and he had to me also, and when he very lovingly expressed his appreciation and love to me, I felt very threatened. It's an example from my own life of being able to give love, but feeling very uncomfortable receiving it. That was many years ago, and I've made great progress, but remembering that experience definitely reveals something to me about myself.

I know what you mean about feeling more comfortable doing the loving than with being loved. I've had that problem all my life. The non-physical entity Orin says that one of the greatest gifts we can give to others is to be open to their love for us. It's so loving towards others to want THEM to love and to succeed.

As is sometimes said, "The guru is within you." And I feel strongly that there can be a great danger of "giving away your power" to the teacher. Finding a practice that suits one is extremely important I think. And it can also be important to STICK WITH that practice, even when you feel like giving it up. I've found that ego can persuade people to give up a practice just when the person is close to transcending. If ego feels threatened by a particular practice because one is about to have a breakthrough or transcend ego- that's when it's so important to continue the practice, but also when one is likely to be tempted to stop.

Shad282, There's a very sad true story I read about once that has to do with the kind of thing you're talking about. There was a Christian woman who was going to marry a man, but she called it off because he wasn't Christian. She ended up spending the rest of her life lonely and angry, even at God, because she never found another man. She thought she was doing the right thing, what God wanted her to do. But the choice led to great sadness and misery.

Thanks for sharing your opinion, Dwai. Perhaps you're right.

I think God IS love in the form of a being, as all beings are. I also think that Tao IS love, perhaps as a universal force or consciousness, the ultimate reality of everything real.