LifeJourney3000

Dogson, It is so true what you said. Ever since I started this journey I am a different person. I feel more confident, more grounded and out going more than before. I've concentrated my energy on things that matter to me. I went to Europe last year (have a house there which I go to every year), and the first time I actually was very social and getting a lot done. Usually, I ejaculate every other day and this time I did not do it once. The two years before I was actually watching too much porn and releasing, which made me depressed. I had ruined my whole trip because I was anguish and lethargic. So now I am on my 158th day. I really don't miss it. Sometimes I catch myself and say, "Hey I can't believe it has been that long". Its gotten to the point where I don't crave it anymore. Like I've become accustomed to this lifestyle. I'm not fighting any urge to give in. Which I believe is one of those dangers that has been discussed here; you beat yourself up because you gave in. It's not about the longevity anymore.

I've been following this thread off and on since it started. I haven't been part of this particular challenge since I have been on my own since before this one began. But, I have to agree that once you have reached a certain point and time, you really don't have any desire to stop. I'm on my 141th day. My intention was to reach 100 days, but I've just decided to continue. I've done retention, off and on, for almost 2 years and every time I've retained it became easier and easier. My longest stretch was 112 days just before my existing one. The major reason for starting this is because I was a internet porn addict. I would binge on the weekends after long week at work to blow off steam. It was personally very draining when the next day (either Saturday or Sunday morning) I would wake up having brain fog and couldn't concentrate. The next week would be trying to recover from the binging. It was a vicious cycle. There were times that I would say I'm quitting this time, but I would always find myself saying a little peek wouldn't hurt. Then I get sucked in. Have I fallen during this stretches you may ask? Yes I have many times. Once I binged on watching porn without releasing within the first month of my 112 day retention and you feel just as bad, maybe even worse. This current stretch of retention I had relapsed one night and binged on porn for two hours the day after new years. But, didn't release. I felt like crap for the next week, but slowly I started to feel better. Meditation has been pivotal for me to keep me grounded when I feel agitated. But, I agree that even if I were to see porn, say on TV, it doesn't do anything for me now. Like I don't even have the desire to watch it. I get little reaction from it. I believe this is the key when it comes to an addiction, once you have completely committed to overcoming the addiction, you find you are not a slave to it anymore.

Hi there, Since last December I've been looking for ways to energize my life. I've always took care of myself by eating healthy and exercising since I was a teenager. But, I've always had a self-esteem issue and a fear of getting older. So I stepped up my regime by exercising better, taking wheatgrass and making my own kombucha tea. I've found that these transitions have helped me a lot by keeping my depression and anxiety at bay and my energy levels increased. I move on to about August where things at work were not going well and I took some time off. During this time I experimented for the first time semen retention through the Mantak Chia's book the Multi-orgasmic man. I always had an empty feeling after releasing and I wanted to keep my energy, but never knew how. I am surprised that I have reached the five week mark and I have a remarkable amount of energy. The problem is I find that I have too much energy and even though I circulate it through the microcosmic orbit I feel that it is hard to relax. Things were going fine until a month after I returned to work. Some incidents occurred that shook my self-confidence and my level of stress increased dramatically. I took some time off again, but this time found it very difficult to do my daily tasks. After about two weeks my doctor suggested that I should return to work. Its been a few weeks since I have returned to work and my level of anxiety and stress has varied from day to day. I don't have much time for self-cultivation until the weekends. I joined this forum to find ways to better channel my energy and how to calm my racing mind. I have a lot of reading and research to do on this forum and I definitely welcome any advice on how to better deal with issues I'm faced with. LifeJourney3000