bax44

For me lifting has always been a great feeling of accomplishment and pursuing getting stronger. I never worked out to "get girls" or anything although it definitely helps:) being an athlete all my life it was always quite necessary too and I think it fits in perfectly w cultivation/ meditation. To me it's two sides of the same coin and lead to quite a lot of growth If done intensely but not obsessively.

I envy you man, I dont even remember what a sex drive is haha

Care to expound upon this a bit? I have had pretty bad hormonal issues since a bad head injury 7 years ago. (thyroid/testosterone to name a few)..are you implying alchemy isnt possible without healthy hormones or something else? im genuinely curious.

pretty interesting wow

Hello under, obviously Youve recieved tons of great advice..besides all of the spiritual/grounding stuff, a lot of your symptomology resembles mine to a T. There are a few things I can almost guarantee can help. It sounds like somewhere/somehow, your adrenals and or thyroid have become pretty unbalanced. Someone else said from a TCM perspective your kidneys are weak. this is pretty much adrenals. Adrenal problems can cause you to feel numb, dissasociated, fogged, almost like a zombie. this has a knock on effect on the rest of your hormones. May I suggest this product: http://www.enzymatictherapy.com/Products/Energy/Daily-Energy/04085-ADRENergize.aspx You will know very very quickly after taking a dose of this if the adrenals are at least a big part of your issue. It will quickly brighten things up and youll feel a zest that I am assuming is missing at the moment. You probably wont even need the 3 capsule a day dosage, in fact 1-2 often is enough especially since you are young. Also would not hurt to get your hormones checked out..large doses of vitamin c, magnesium, and assorted B vitamins will work synergistically with the supplement Ive recommended. This gives you something concrete to try along with trying to get grounded, qigong etc. If somethings malfunctioning with your adrenals/thyroid, it doesnt matter how much spiritual activity you do its not gonna get you over the hump. I think you need something quickly to help to let you feel like your self and see theres a light at end of tunnel. Ive been there man, brain fog and fatigue so thick I literally couldnt remember what I did 5 seconds ago, accompanied by a feeling of total numbness and dissacotiation, like everythings a dream. This is adrenal/thyroid related Id almost guarantee it. The supplement is very safe and its worth a shot. Let me know if you try it and how you get on. good luck..

captain what do you mean every cell of your body was blasted? Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask but Im wondering what that means. Are you referring to an awakening type event?

I may need one after reading your post haha. No offense intended Im sure theres a great message in there somewhere, just kinda went over my head. I tried to understand, I humbly admit I didnt.

My head hurts.

Hello all, I will try to make this as short as possible. I was recommended here by someone on a mens health forum. I am 34 yr old male, about 5 ten 175 lbs. Have had a history of celiac disease, chronic pelvic pain, hypothyroidism(which I finally began treatment for in March of this year.) have the other issues mostly under control, I am on very low dose thyroid meds. Anyways, back in March I began meditation, simply as a way to try and calm my overactive mind, and help some of my health issues. I also have done on/off semen retention, quit porn to try and get my sexuality back. Well, for the first 2-3 months I noticed some remarkable results..I was doing 15-30 min a day, sometimes guided meditations from youtube, sometimes just following my breath or using a mantra. I felt much calmer, in control..more like my old self. I was "in the zone' a lot of times so to speak... Something has started to...change the last month- 2 months however. I have had days where I increased my meditation time to an hour, and some where i simply did a 20 min session. Anyways, Ive started to notice some strange symptoms. I had nights..walking my dog around a local lake where I felt as if I was on the drug ecstacy..Obviously not to that extent but a similar feeling where everything felt magnified. Ive also had times..sometimes the very next day after these episodes where I felt beyond depressed. At first I thought it may have been my thryod messing w me, but Ive done blood work and everything came back fine. So, I just kept up my practice trying to maintain an even keel. But my body doesnt seem to be cooperating. Lately Ive noticed Disturbing ADD/ADHD type symptoms..FLAT emotions..low/no libido..vivid dreams..a sort of "hypersensitivity" when out in public. Ive had days also where Ive walked around feeling no fear whatsoever, and others where I didnt want to leave the house. My sense of direction, or feeling of motivation, is almost totally missing. I kinda feel like Im in a dream.It feels like my identity, or who I thought I was, is missing. Like all my past accomplishments, achievements, are a distant memory and not a part of me anymore. I used to be a professional baseball player, a good golfer, loved to golf..I have NO desire to golf, and no feeling of pride from being an athlete.. But at the same time, have a strainge feeling of contentment, at least when the anxiety doesnt take hold.. Just a recent example of how strange things have gotten..I took a girl out a few weeks ago(this has been another thing, women seem to be checking me out much more than before I ever meditated, but my libido..shot), we hit it off very well and after our date she suggested she come back to my place..I agreed. Long story short, I didnt escalate anything, mostly to my feeling tired and inexperience(been out of dating for a long time) and things kinda fell through for us. I am usually quite great at moving on from these types of things and learning from my mistakes, etc..and I had done a decent job of that..however the other day I had to go to the vet where she works(this is where we met) and she wasnt there. As I was standing there buying my dog his meds, I had a very strange feeling come over me of absolute sadness, melancholy, like I was at a funeral. THis freaked me out and I got the meds and got out of there as quick as I could. it was extremely bizarre, as I barely knew this girl save for the one night..this wasnt just a little sadness because of a missed opportunity, this was a feeling of dread and absolute grief that just came over me when 2 minutes before I was content. I got into a car accident a week ago where I did about 5000 dollars worht of damage to my car. That morning, after I got out of shower to go to job interview, I had a powerful sensation or voice in my head telling me not to leave the house.I had to get a cat scan after the accident as I hit my head on the steering wheel, and they found nothing, just said I had a minor concussion. So while I say Ive had flat emotions, I get these weird rushes of either joy or just flat out sadness that keep coming and going. the rest of the time it feels like autopilot, but I feel like I have an intuition like Ive never had in my life before. Ive had physical symptoms too..this one sounds crazy..but it feels like the left half of my head(or brain) is just...not there, not working. I cant explain this any better than that. strange dreams, that keep having some semblance of truth in the days or weeks following the dream..inability to concentrate. lack of appetite...no libido..muscle twitching..hypersensitivity..heightened awareness in public, but a strange..detached feeling from everything. enhanced endurance during exercise, yet feeling no endorphin rush after working out.Pulsing in my head during meditation lately which comes and goes.. A very hard time quitting addictions, yet they are giving me almost NO pleasure now. I drank a bottle of wine the other night and barely felt a thing.. I KNOW this sounds crazy and i hope a psychiatrist isnt reading and turns me into the looney bin. But I hope someone has some type of advice..Ive never felt this "spaced out" yet somehow fucntioning on a higher level before..Its like Im not in my body a lot of times. Idk what to make of it or how to tell anyone without coming off as a freak. I try my best to act normally around others, but something feels very off and Im alone. Idk wether to quit meditating, if thats even the issue, but Ive had tons of bloodwork done and everthign is checking out ok..I thank you all for any help you can give.

So you're suggesting I replace most seated meditation w standing? And in high horse stance I'm assuming w legs as wide as low and eyes open? Also I scored as mostly water and fire elements on that test I had a hard time distinguishing which I was but water was the higher score wise. I have a fairly ohysical job but do soend a decent amount of time at a computer as well.

Yes zoose I breathe into the lower stomach and try to pay attention to the expanding/contraction of the abdomen. Occasionally I wander to between my eyes when I get some light shows(that's what I call them haha) but then return to the lower abdomen below navel. I do the same during standing practice as well. I looked at the page you recommended,cool stuff! I also took the test on there. Thx for that.

I try to stay pretty still(well until recently when this rocking started on its own mostly front to back). I do have a bad back from all the health issues I mentioned in my op, so I mostly sit on edge of chair when meditating. My breath has gotten deeper and slower over the months and is really good for me I would say. I do have to adjust myself a few times when starting to get a nice posture, but once there I can stay pretty still and get into a tranquil state fairly quickly at this point. this is why this rocking movement really caught me off guard, even when standing Id say I remain pretty still as well. If you mean mental stillness; well its pretty good I dont have a trillion thoughts going through my head like I used to lol, and Ive reached some nice levels of deep meditation over the months, and I am most certainly relaxed and quiet. I also used to go through my daily activities moving from one distraction to the next- definitely not so much anymore. Maybe I am suddenly realizing how distracted my mind was all the time- and constantly avoiding things. Now my concentration is much better and im finally realizing a lot of things about myself and the world which I never even considered before. Idk if this is what you meant by stillness, but thats how Id describe it to this point.

Rara and Mark- I will definitely try those exercises thank you. Feel a bit better today. I did a short meditation this am where the rocking I spoke of was really intense once again. To be clear it is totally on its own and in no way am I causing it its just happening. In any regard as I said when thats happened I feel clearer and better for whatever reason. I followed it up with some standing and walked the pooch for about an hour. Its also sunny out today so that helps:)

Cool. After the movements subside I notice a much lighter feeling and my breathing feels amazing , so that makes sense.

As to my goal in meditation; I suppose as I said in my op it started out as a health thing, and has certainly evolved into something more. I suppose increasing my awareness etc is definitely the "goal" now as I've come to realize the benefits, of clarity and periods of high levels of happiness, etc.However I've read where expectations etc can get in the way so mostly I just sit and breathe with no huge goals in mind. I guess just for troubleshooting purposes I should add that lately in both standing and sitting meditations I've experienced some intense involuntary rocking and movements. I'm just wondering if this is some sort of energy blockages going on. These haven't been unpleasant at all but have certainly caught me off-guard. Edit: zoose Ty for the website suggestion.

Just for clarification, I do standing exercises from the book "the way of energy " which I'd say I do between 20-30 min of daily. I also do between 3-1" minutes of horse stance everyday, usually before my sitting meditations. Also as I said I do take long walks and get plenty of physical exercise. I'd say I meditate between 45 min to an hour and a half daily. As always, I'm highly appreciative for the advice. I guess I'm just unclear as to how I can "ground" myself further so if I'm not doing it enough or the right way than I'd love some advice as I am still clearly learning:)

As far as being ungrounded, earlier in the thread it was recommended that i take up standing exercises, etc, which i practice everyday now. also i take my dog for long walks everyday, and i work out pretty hard. my grounding activitues( if these are what you guys are talking about) certainly more time is spent on these than meditating. if this isnt what is meant or if there are other things i can or should be doing to ground myself than please let me know..

Well things have gotten a little worse this past week or so.. I woke up last sunday after some intense dreams, and a very nice meditation. and felt what I can only describe as a heaviness or sense of dread..During that meditation I recall having a very strong pulsing in the front of my head and a lot of sensations body wise. It was rather enjoyable and Ironic that the next day this gloom started. I have had this head pressure in the front forehead above my eyes since that night. Funny thing was I felt pretty good the week before this but this overwhelming depression has just hit me out of nowhere again; this time more intense and deeper if that makes sense. I have contemplated giving up my practices; this week has been rough for sure, low energy and just a sense of despair and hopelessness I cant describe. This is rough, I must admit. I have been rereading this thread just to reassure myself things will be ok I suppose.. Weird part is I feel pretty good when I meditate or whatever..Its taken all my willpower not to start my tobacco addiction back up and indulge in alcohol but I dont really have the energy for it..So in short theres this underlying feeling of malevolance thats somewhat disturbing, oddly enought I do feel pretty calm and serene. I will continue updating cuz as I said this place has been pretty good for me and you all have helped me a lot.

edit

I cant seem to meditate with my eyes open either. I mean I *can* however it doesnt have the same quality to it. Id like to be able to though I think itd carry over nicely into everyday situations.

funny you posted this thread as I had a sexual experience recently and have been feeling very empty the past few days, and very depressed tonight and couldnt figure out why.. but I think this is part of it.Ive had "flings" or one night stands with girls who I knew were totally wrong for me.. Something definitely feels "off' for me after engaging in this for a little while after. Theres definitely a huge energy thing going on obviously. People are all different obviously but I kinda feel the same as you skydog. Of course in this society this is a view thats definitely not the norm lol edit: and yeah then theres the stupidity of not using a condom, guilty. and although im fairly certain I did it the umm right way theres always that doubt afterwards. man what an awful feeling.

Lol. relax mr alpha, I shoulve explained a bit better.. I was attempting to inform the op that fat is NOT bad, as that seemed to be what you were implying in your post. Yes, fat is stored as fat as long as the energy expenditure is kept below the threshold at which you are consuming it. In other words, if you sit on your ass and just consume fat and protien you will probably be just as bad off if you eat a ton of carbs. But if you are working out hard, Fat(good kind) can be eaten along with protien and a low, no carb diet to great effect and is actually very very healthy. Fats are needed for hormone production, etc..So I was just trying to get the point across that fats are Not bad at all and someone reading your other post whos not knowledgable could easily have taken it that way, and think all fat results in body fat. so yea, you are right in a sense fat does get stored as fat, but its much more complex than that. IE fat can be stored, but this doesnt mean it results in body fat at all.. I shouldve clarified:) Cheers.

Your post says fat can only be stored as fat- not true. Once a person has dropped most unhealthy carbs from their diet and body has switched to fat burning mode it is desirable to switch to a higher protein/fat type structure. There are healthy fats that actually burn fat. Coconut oil, fatty seafood, ghee, nuts,organic butter, fish oils, etc. Also these are very nourishing and filling when someones trying to cut calories. Trying to go no fat while also go low carb at the same time is not very healthy. Hence why I recommended the paleo diet, which offers healthy low carbs like sweet potatoes, etc.. Its easy to follow, can be quite tasty, and can take someone to great health if they r motivated enough.

I'd recommend looking into a paleo type diet. Won't even really need to count calories as the elimination of pure shit from the diet will cause weight to come off in all the right places. Also the recommendation of hiit training is good, just not everyday or she will burn out. Maybe do some swimming(easy on the body and very good workout), and don't neglect strength training as well. Working with weights, hiit cardio will do the trick:) best of luck.

wow talk about putting pressure on yourself and pedestalizing a girl before you even know her. No wonder it didnt go well. Ive done this exact thing in the past and by the time the date came I was wore out. Im not saying your other issues arent valid, but Jesus man get ahold of yourself. You sabatoged any chance you had with her with the attitude you just laid out in your post.