bax44

I dislike distance running and only do it every now and again and find when done sparingly its much more enjoyable. as for running workouts I do 30 second sprints with 130-2minute rest intervals..shreds fat and talk about an endorphin rush. its brutal but is much better for your hormonal system than running forever.

what is the mechanism by which these practices cause nightmares, etc? is it old stuff being cleared out? I guess in the end it doesnt matter why/how, but I do find it fascinating meditation etc causes all these things.

Thanks for the input.. Yeah ive no clue if the standing is causing the dreams, and fwiw I do focus on the breath during the practice.( In the book it recommend breathing into the lower stomach area or tan tien so thats what I do).. I feel remarkably well immediately after doing it so Id hate to think its having a detrimental effect. Also i try to counterbalance it with my regular breath sitting meditation but perhaps its doing something weird to my chemistry. The nightmares havent actually scared me or anything although theyve been pretty gruesome at times lol just more feels out of place to my norm than anything. Also have been sleeping a lot more, but as I said during the day I dont necessarily feel weak or anything, just seem to be needing more rest lately. again thank you:)

well guess I will update. Have been practicing zhan zhang from the book "The way of energy" about 20 minutes every morning along with 4-5 minutes of the horse stance. Also continued with 30 min - 2 hours of meditation depending on the day. Lately have had some days where I feel remarkably calm.. and others not so much. the zhan zhang training feels like its taken things to another level and almost feels like its having a detoxifying effect on me. One disconcerting thing is nightmares. Ive been having lots of them. last night was the 5th night in a row. violent, very disturbing nightmares. Im careful not to eat much before bed, I do meditate before bed sometimes. Ive never been *too* prone to nightmares so this is definitely a change. and it feels like its carrying over into my days somewhat. so although I feel contented for the most part, these are leaving a lingering agitated effect on me. Any thoughts? these have been very unsettling. Edit-I know the advice earlier was to kinda just let this stuff come and go without overanalyizng, but i decided I should update the thread when anything changes, etc because you guys have really helped me:)

I have this same issue, along with what can be described as a "stuck" feeling in my throat area sometimes. I do have a thyroid condition so I know thats part of it. I have days since I started meditating where this is almost non existant, or even have days where I feel great and confident by myself but then when I get in public especially aroung a lot of people it rears its head now and again. I agree with the one poster who says its become more noticeable since meditating a lot increases awareness. Its weird I think ive had it my whole life I was just too numb to really notice it before or just accepted it as part of myself. Now I kind of feel like it really isnt a part of who I am because a lot of times its not there but it does pop up seemingly out of nowhere. humbling indeed.

Calm down killer, it was a joke.

Lol yes. I had to look it up myself.

Or I could just pretend my whole life and hope it sticks

Wow this is serious bizness apparently Well sorry you feel that way, and since you and I have gone back and forth quite a bit I can only assume you are including me. I can assure you there is little wrong with my reading comprehension or ability to discern whats being said, so its a little insulting that you would presume such a thing or think your being persecuted lol. Everyone has different viewpoints and obviously its a hard medium to grasp totally everything. For my part I try to do the best I can.

Cmon man. You think everyone is just intentionally misreading your posts? Doubtful. Perhaps youve kind of changed what you were actually saying more than a few times, just a possibility. Like the whole "larp" argument, you havent rebuked what I asserted so I can only assume you actually did mean it the way I interpreted. If you didnt, you should clarify, but since you seemed to stand by your original quote Im assuming I got it right. Edit- you also really shouldnt take all this that seriously, After all, you probably arent going to change peoples minds on this subject who dont already agree with you and vice versa. so just have fun with it its a message board lol.

Very true. Online dating is a whole other animal all together lol.

How is it putting your best foot forward if you have something you love yet you are not wanting to admit it to some girl? Why?Why do you think ANY girl is important enough at first glance to even care about wether they like it or not? THis sounds like classic putting the ***** on the pedestal type thing. Lol I apologize im really trying to wrap my mind around this concept. Like obviously if you are a recovering drug addict or something and dont want to tell thats one thing, but to not admit something you really are into for fear the other person will reject it? That seems to go against even the most cynical PUA/dating type of advice Ive seen. Fair enough. Still say you are somewhat projecting your experience onto a rather large population of Tech geeks

Well really some of it isnt important if its in your past..Like Ive been in jail before, its not something I bring up or mention unless its brought up. Even that I really dont care if they know because its way in the past. Same with things like drug use, etc etc, if thats not who you are anymore then why mention it?but things like being recently divorced, having kids, etc is pretty important to tell someone(if you are thinking of dating them)... Obviously for short term ons or whatever its a lil different. But the qigong, magic stuff, thats a part of who you are, why would anyone keep that hidden? I disagree vehemontly with "sloppy zhang" about this, because it shows one lacks the confidence in what they love, and also isnt even giving the other person a chance to see if they would appreciate it or not. And as you said it can also weed people out... Why would I wanna be with someone whos ashamed of the things they love? and even if you didnt tell the person now theyd find out soon enough and theyd either be into it or they wouldnt.

So you think that is a good thing.. Telling someone who has a passion about something, to have them be so ashamed of it they wouldn't admit it to some girl? You don't see how this is supplication to the fullest? Pretty pathetic. How do you know it wouldn't "work"? Is it not more attractive to have a passion and be proud of it. Women love that. What they don't love is the lack of confidence to admit it. I can't imagine hanging w a women and being afraid to admit I do meditation or qigong. Or love comic books. If she doesn't like it, too bad. As for your other comments about tech guys, etc, once again you make sweeping generalizations. And I'm amazed you manage to observe the dating lives of all these types of guys., And know the exact time frame they get friend zoned or whatever. Interesting.

Oh and not admitting you are into "Larp" or whatever early on with a girl is actually nothing but supplication. You are automatically putting this person on a pedestal and thinking your passions aren't good enough... Again, this goes back to the insecurity, the not feeling good enough. The total opposite of "alpha".. Pretty much you are implying if you were into this you'd be ashamed of it, even though it's a huge part of your life, as opposed to not truly caring if she approved or not and admitting it with confidence. Seems that's much more attractive than hiding something that's important to yourself in the hopes of attracting someone. Not cool IMO.

I love the stereotypes against mathletes and computer scientists. Lol as if these types of guys are automatically socially inept w women. High school mentality much?

Excellent posts Brian and Aeron. You hit right on what Ive been trying to get across, and did it very eloquently. Kudos.

Yeah I just find it fascinating how perhaps the internet has radically changed things. And its happened very very quickly. And its had some pretty negative impacts on how people, not just men/women, view their interactions. I admit to getting caught up int the whole PUA movement a while back. All it got me was a very distorted view of women and also made me feel like I was cheating myself, and felt empty..Did it work sometimes? yeah. DId I blow some opportunnities with some girls who I liked? A huge yes. Those I regret, because I felt like I presented a very false version of myself. As I said, the more I attempted to improve who I was/am, the more I accepted my flaws and strengths, the easier this all became.. the neediness, insecurity, although of course still make appearances, melted away and my opportunities increased by a multitude. And now as I said there are websites that promote this very thing-making yourself the best you can, realize your value, then you really dont have to put on a huge act, it just happens. You are just acting spontaneously and are very "outcome independent"..The more you are thinking "i have to get laid" or " I have to date this girl", instead of enjoying the moment with them, the worse off you are( should say me)..obviously there are those who can practice behaving a certain way, but I much prefer going with whatever dynamic is there.

Ok Dr.Phil Go get her tiger.

It kind of goes back to what I was wondering about the internets impact on all this..Like if you were in your 20s right now, you could be reading things on the internet,etc that would be giving you advice like this..Begs the question if it would have totally changed the way you approached dating, etc. Your core nature seems to be not following this type of advece, but you are even wondering now how it would be if you were in your 20s..just goes to show the potential impact of social conditioning on people. I find it interesting. edit- and yes there is some genuinely good stuff on the internet about it, i dont mean to imply that. However, there are a multitude more of sites that pretty much act like men and women are not even the same species, and is coming from an angle of almost hatred..

Sloppy, the point he was making was he was disgusted with the way everyone is telling him to go about getting women. You seemed to have changed it into him having some kind of issue because hes a virgin at 24, and therefore just "needs to get laid". He said hes chosen to do so(remain a virgin), why would anyone pretend this is a problem with him? Regardless, my whole point was if he really IS frustrated, he doesnt have to take the route of things that makes him feel uncomfortable. I think thats where you and I are having a disagreement, because Wether he needs to get laid right now or not is irrelevant to me, as it should be, because hes saying he is choosing to remain a virgin.If you want to psychoanalyze someone through a computer screen, be my guest;however I wouldnt ever presume to be so arrogant. All I wanted him to know was there are others who feel the same way he does, and that there are many other ways of being with women than the ways he personally doesnt like. simple as that.

Ah so here we have it. So in your reality anyone whos not sexually very experienced isnt "liberated"? Very interesting. and quite telling. Where in his posts did it sound like he was "fixated" on sex. The dude also said he had attractive women all over him without trying. He also said hes CHOSEN to remain a virgin. Id say he doesnt have a huge problem. He apparently doesnt place the extreme importance in sex as you do. Im not sure why thats a problem. Then what? Who said it was even a problem? He says he doesnt like the way things have evolved(or devolved) in male female interaction. And guess what? he can get laid without resorting to the things he is personally disgusted by. I think this is what you are failing to realize. Not everyone HAS to do these things to "get laid" or get a relationship, etc.

Wow you took that totally the wrong way. You are still kind of insisting that your way of doing things is the only way, sloppy zhang. The guy pretty much said it doesnt work for him etc. If he feels its not right and is disgusted by it, then yes in his reality, "rising above it" is a perfect analogy. Where In my post did I recommend that anyone "sequester themselves away in a monestary"..Lol you sure have a way of taking things and totally changing what the person meant to fit your agument. You are taking the matrix analogy far too literal. Please try and re read it without the bias.

If your whole existence is predicated and constantly needing approval of the opposite sex, and you've built up sex in your mind to be the end all be all of human existence, then yeah following any type of routine and participating in the "modern game" becomes a necessity. As I've said before, once your truly happy w your self, lack insecurity and neediness, these "rules" and games really stop applying to you and suddenly you exude the traits women look for anyway, because your neediness is .. Gone . I suppose on certain sites they would call it having "inner game", where you don't need to rely on all these things you r disgusted by..Working on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself will shine through and women can feel this, and its much more genuine cuz your not faking it. Creation you are on the right track.. Notice how you said you had very attractive women coming to you.. Without trying. Funny how that works, and it's a more permanent solution than following the herd and doing things your not comfortable with. FYI , I feel exactly as you do, and am kind of disgusted at what I've seen/heard in the last few years regarding this subject.. Which begs the question about how the Internet had skewed everyone's perceptions about sexuality/dating, Etc. it's such a toxic environment.. Go read any pua forum. Or even you can find female versions of pua tactics(the rules,etc).. It's a very manipulative discouraging thing... But as you said, there's another way. It can be risen above, especially once you get rid of the need for approval.. Which is the sickness that drives all(not all but a good percentage) the pua's etc to try these things. It's all about not feeling good enough. Once you do, you are neo:) but trust yourself- if all this stuff deep down feels wrong then there's a reason for that.