bax44

Thanks for this, this is what I needed. I do exercise VERY hard( I am a former athlete as I said), and am in good shape, just am not feeling the "spark" or motivation to do it. I do it, have great endurance as I said, but am feeling no "reward" from it. In fact this has been one issue..the feeling of dopamine or reward from doing pleasurable things seems to be missing atm. However like I said theres these random "waves" of what I would call bliss or well being that come and go. Just odd. Thank you for reassuring me its all normal. i really need it right now.

Quite a lot to digest..Thank you all very much for the detailed responses its actually very amazing to me that strangers on the internet can take such time and caring, it gives me hope for the human race yet I will try and address each individual post a little later on when I have more time!

Ok..so..I guess you mean stop thinking..I have been trying to be mindful, etc, but damn sometimes its been overwhelming. Like I said, it feels like being in a small boat in the middle of an ocean in a hurricane..I mean I know theres people way worse off than me I should be grateful but this is like a physical/mental i dont want to say breakdown but it feels like something is possessing me at times. God i sound crazy! But thanks.

Well I do have celiac and pretty bad digestive stuff but thats been ongoing waaaayy before I started meditating. So you seem to be saying you believe that my mind..or whatever..is trying to get me to stop progressing, stop meditating? I can definitely say I feel "different" to say the least..like a totally different person. Im not sure yet if its good or bad..Im still trying to process wtf is going on..It seems everyday its something new as you can see from my original post. I will check the link out for sure thank you.

Hey sorry I missed this comment.I didnt masturbate a ton(well at least not for the last couple years as my libido had been rather low) but indulged in porn quite a bit. I am ashamed to say it became an addiction and devolved into some pretty weird stuff. But Ive been clean of that for the last 7 months. and Ive masturbated prob about 10 times in that time period.

I will have to look up zhan zhuang.I am experiencing lightheadedness actually, although my boat in a hurricane reference was more for how Ive been feeling emotionally, but yeah definitely have been having periods of lightheadedness. This is all pretty crazy to me. They cant find anything physically wrong w me yet whatevers happening emotionally from the upheaval I guess is affecting every part of me. Thank you again.

Yeah I know what you mean, however the chick wasnt even there, it was a sudden dramatic thing that was very strange. Yes, I suppose somewhre inside I feel like I let her down in a way i kind of rejected her advances, girls these days expect to get physical very quickly, and when she put herself out there by inviting herself to my place and I didnt really 'make a move", I supposed it signaled rejection from me. THank you. very good advice. Its hard though because I feel like Im in a small boat in the middle of the ocean during a hurricane these last few months.

well I suppose that is somewhat comforting. Hmm interesting. Are you implying that stuff thats been sort of buried is revealing itself in my actual life circumstances? Like things are happening reflecting stuff thats been hurtful to me or somehow is a problem for me? Very interesting. I wish someone wouldve told me that some of this could happen upon starting meditation. Frankly some of it has been frightening and when not frightening, interesting to say the least. Yes, Ive had days where simply driving and listening to music has produced euphoria beyond anything id experienced before. Paradoxically, it feels sometimes that feeling goes just as quickly as it came and is replaced with a somberness Ive not experienced since my Mom passed away 10 years ago. I will try not to attach too much to it. It is making being productive In any sense very difficult as I feel like I am scattered in 100 different directions at times. Can you explain this last part? Im not quite sure I follow. Thanks so much for the reply. gives me a lot to ponder.

Hi been reading this forum for a month or so.. I started meditating about 7 months ago and have had some issues come up recently that I feel like I need some help with that may or may not be related to my practice. I was directed here by someone on a health forum who thought some people here may be able to help with my issues. Apart from that I hope to be able to learn a lot while here, as I am finding my need for wanting to develop spiritually increasing every day. thanks.