bax44

Hi after having done the horse stance for the past month and recieved some nice benefits, I was thinking of starting a regular qigong practice..I have no teachers in my area and have looked online for starter programs I can purchase..but its kinda confusing..Does anyone have any recommendations?

No sir I had never heard of the practice until I joined here. Then started doing the horse stance under the advice of some posters in a thread id started about my development w meditation Ive been doing for 9 months.. and have seen some cool results from the horse stance which led me to wanting to try more energy type practice, and qigong seems to be the one ive been hearing the most about. I have no experience except for meditation and horse stance so thats why I started the thread. I guess a healing type qigong would be great as Im trying still to get over some physical ailments that have plagued me for years. But I am open to any suggestions.

Thanks guys I will check all those out..Dorian I have no issue devoting a half hour everyday.. having a DVD would be perfect because Like I said i have no teachers anywhere near me, so something in home would be awesome.. Ive heard good things about qigong and just want a basic starting out program to help me to go along w my meditation practice

Yikes..think I will bow out of this thread now

Mike I went back and edited my post; I meant that using this as the primary goal of your spirituality practice may be not the best way. Of course being a former pro athlete Im very familiar with trying to enhance and bring out the best in oneself physically and mentally. I too have noticed some of the stuff you mention since I began meditating seriously. idk what kundalini is Ive seen it mentioned before; in fact someone in my thread I made about my weird happenings suggested this is whats happening with me.. but it seems to me your getting pretty attached to the fact Of manipulating it..from the litte Ive read about it from the experts that isnt really the point. Of course I could be totally wrong...

Yeah not sure thats the healthiest attitude to have..manipulating your body to do certain things it normally cant do( I mean using this as the goal of spirituality)..Of course this could be a nice side effect for some people I suppose, I know for myself Ive noticed certain things being enhanced since I began meditating etc, but not really sure that is the goal of spirituality. But who am I to judge.. perhaps this is what you need, but I think seeking that will make it less likely to happen to begin with..

Ive only been here for a few months, and not to sound antagonistic, but your attributing an awful lot to "kundalini" or whatever, and the thing thats a tad ironic is Ive seen you(including in my thread) cautioning people to attribute much of any of their symptoms,etc to spiritual things...So it just seems to me you are not heeding your own advice and are you certain your symptoms are really from what you think? and that you can just manipulate it like your wanting even if it were? Again not trying to be confrontational just making an observation.

Funny you mention this! I started doing horse stance about a month ago per the recommendations in my "7 months of meditation" thread..I am able to now sit in a deep horse stance (prayer style) for about two and a half minutes..i practice it for 8-10 min a day. I had noted in that thread how belly fat was dissapearing that had been stubborn for a long time, and also physical activity in general seems easier. What is the explanation for this?Is this a form of qigong? I was simply doin it as a method Of "grounding"(thats the word that was used in the recommendation) but its been very powerful. as a former athlete I am very familiar with all types of training techniques. this seems to be a very intense isometric type exercise, but also seems to circulate the energy very well. Also seems to be changing my posture. much easier to walk upright with shoulders back.

One other thing thats happened recently that is actually kinda cool..like when driving at night the red lights sort of "pop" out to me..like my acuity and colors are more vibrant for some reason..this has happened on and off for the last few months and seem to correspond to periods where I feel really contented and peaceful. Im sure many here exdperience this but its something thats been pretty cool since my meditations really started having all these effects. the left side of head is still numb sometimes

although certain things have gotten better im still really struggling in other areas. I know i shouldnt analyze any of this but i found typing it out helps so guess ill continue to do so. Im finding that my I can tell when I put on an "act" or show for other people and am not being my true self. I used to do this unconsciusly and it never even bothered me. But now its like I can tell usually after the fact just how much sometimes I am wearing a mask in an interaction. and frankly it disgusts me. I realize that although my whole life Ive felt I was a good person, i behave in selfish ways sometimes and its like I can feel myself when I do it now its really bothersome..that Im maybe not as "good" as I thought. none of this used to even phase me but now its like its thrown right in my face everytime I act or think something which is congruent with these characteristics. also when going out I see people staring at their phones computers, etc..none of them really even acknowledging each other..why this is getting to me Idk... I am sick of the mundaneness i feel like Im crawling out of my skin sometimes. I only hope that this smooths out Its like I keep going through good periods and then something else pops up. also I am out of work at the moment and have no clue what to do. Im applying to all these menial jobs that are frankly below my potential but its all there is. I am studying to get my personal trainer certification, but thats been hard as well because my ability to focus some days is altered.I feel somewhat lost but still inside me theres a small thing telling me its gonna be ok.

Chegg funny you posted that Donnie darko clip. One of my favorite movies and that song is great. Have listened to it hundreds of times.

that is bizarre about the "left brain lock' this is exactly what I have been experiencing. Idk how legit all of that is but a lot of that is disturbingly similar to some of the stuff Ive gone through lately..

Ok I figured I would update this thread since its been a few weeks.. I actually took some of your suggestions to heart, watched the videos and started doing some qigong type stuff as well as practicing the horse stance on a daily basis..This has helped me definitely to get more of my masculine type energy back into myself and I feel a tad more "with it" . Also the stance for whatever reason is shredding fat off my midsection, and this is with no increase in any other exercise. I practice it about 5 min a day in different sections. Ive kept meditation to about an hour a day. Im still having some very strange "deja vu" type feelings and emotions.. There was something I had left out of my original post and pretty I feel its important to address as it has popped up recently and recurring in my dreams for some strange reason..its also one of the things that got me into meditation..Back in March I met a young lady whom I would describe as very eclectic and clearly spiritual..At this time I was just starting to emerge from a 5 year long fog of various addictions to alcohol, pain pills, and of course the hormonal/ physical problems which I described in my original post.. I had gone on a few dates to start the year just to "get myself back out there", and had just been seeing girls on/off and wasnt overly attached or necessarily taken with any of them.. Well I met this girl and there was something very different about her; something I can truly say Ive never seen in anyone ive met in my life to this point. A certain joy and love pretty much eminated from every part of her being.. we shared much in common(both ex athletes,etc)I immediately kind of sensed a mirroring effect between us..But as I said i was very very low energy at the time, kind of closed off as well. We had a few dates and on the last one I admit to acting very..off with her due to me not feeling great.. long story short we lost contact with each other besides being facebook friends. I remember feeling so much like she was how I used to be when I was younger it inspired me to begin improving myself through meditation, etc etc...She would talk about things that resonated deeply with me, and it seemed as though we communicated with each other on a different level, very hard to explain but im sure some have experienced this before. She was born on my parents anniversary, our birthdays are 7 days apart..normally these things would strike me as just coincidences however with my recent experiences with my meditations and stuff Ive described in this thread these things start standing out a bit. strange occurences would happen even after we stopped talking where I would be thinking of a certain subject and then hours later she would post something on facebook relating to what i was thinkng about..and this happened more than once. To make a long story short I pretty much had stopped thinking about her, feeling like its something where she came into my life to show me something about myself and moved on..and I had accepted this. I have, as i explained also been out with a few other women since then so its not like I have been opining for her or anything this whole time at all. Out of the blue the last month or so Ive had about 3 dreams involving her, and have been extraordinarily intense, including one just the other night. The feeling of love in the dreams is beyond anything ive experienced in my real life..And the after effects the next few days after the dreams have left me feeling quite staggered and confused, as I can feel her presence very strongly. I cant say its unpleasant, however is obvioulsy accompanied by a feeling of loss as well. Like I said it was something I had totally put out of my mind and I usually pay very little mind to my dreams but these have been quite out of the ordinary, and perhaps since now Im more in tune with this kind of thing due to my ,meditation, but I dont know. I know "taking advice" from ones dreams can be dangerous as well. And this person DID have a huge affect on me and basically made me examine my life in a very strong way, yet I barely know her, she is honestly one of the reasons I started this journey..Maybe its all after effects of my concussion haha, but regardless the dreams have been intense enough and what have you that I at least feel like I need to talk about it. Anyways I just thought i would share that and update my story. I again thank everyone for their advice as I have used a lot of it and is helping me tremendously.

I like the way you explain this, as Ive kind of felt like things I "thought" were important are slowly fading away, and being replaced with something else. Id be lying if I knew what that something is. Ive also noticed this cycle as you put it as I said in my OP there have been moments of great well being, utter hopeleseness, flatlined emotions, sadness, etc etc, and yesterday after a good meditation the night before was one of my better days in awhile, and actually felt very at peace.. I like the purification angle, will help me to keep things in perspective. Yes, I find myself fighting this. when I talk to people on certain days I feel like Im wearing a mask, of course not unusual, but when I find myself in these peaceful, almost blissful states Ive spoke of, I feel like Ive nothing to fear, or hide, and just take people as they come and find it very easy not to take things personally. Other times Ive felt overly sensitive and very vulnerable. Another great post, thank you.

Dark night of the soul? Ive seen this referenced in this thread a couple times. can anyone fill me in on what that means> doesnt sound good lol.

I am on thyroid meds, and have my blood levels monitored every couple months. they measured TSH, free T3, Free T4, total T4..at last bloodwork my labs looked good. of course there is a lot of debate online that normal labwork means little and should go by symptoms...its hard to believe all of this could be attributable to thyroid problem. my adrenal function has been also tested recently and looked ok, and I am taking supplements etc to support them as they can be weakened with cocommitant thyroid problems. I have an endocronologist(actually 2 of them) and a thyroid specialist working with me.

Hi Rara, I have tried to look at the video and the link isnt working for me; its saying an error has occured. I will type it into youtube on my phone here in a bit and see if that works. Im glad your getting something from the thread..Its definitely helping me to know how supportive and knowledgeable people here are and this in its own way has helped me immensely.

Yes, in fact i was getting ready to post that after my meditation last night, where I experienced some emotional release- I feel much more calm and peaceful today. In fact just now sitting with my dog outside I felt pretty content with things and felt pretty well. And honestly wasnt thinking about much of anything. almost like meditating. I think somehow in typing this stuff out is helping as well. I have during my really bad days had an almost compulsive clicking on facebook,etc.. Although intrinsically I HATE facebook and social media, something inside is trying to cling to these things--for what reason I do not know. When you speak of "the buzz" I assume you are talking about the constant stimulation of our society? Something that I really wish I could almost totally get away from. This is very similar to the way I was just feeling in the park w my dog.. very calm and peaceful. Interesting, I have had times as I said in my OP where I have had this feeling in public around others-- It feels much like being in a zone of your own making and almost having a shield around yourself- yet you are very open and aware. I think I have to remind myself that this state is in fact inside of me when I have anxious moments. for me personally when I feel this way, I also feel deeply empathetic. I suppose this could cause issues as it makes me want to reach out to people a lot, and even to people whove hurt me. Perhaps much better as you said to just breathe into the space. I had a lady as I was walking by her in Target about a month and a half ago say hello and tell me how peaceful I looked. And on that day I did feel almost totally at ease. amazing how other people can pick up on this stuff.

Sorry to hear. I have celiac disease, hypothyroidism, and have in the past had other endocrine issues. I do have my diet pretty much under control. I agree. Its very difficult nowadays to find good real food. I do my best to eat pretty clean. Well, I havent had candy or junk food in about 3 years, so I think I can safely rule this out as a cause. I do enjoy alcohol once or twice a week,and am trying to give up a tobacco addiction from my baseball days. other than that i eat totally gluten free, high protein low carb w lots of vegetables and fruits. No, this feels like something in me has changed. Im not judging what it is, but I think Ive been given good advice in the thread. I have had many instances in meditation where Ive had these crying emotional outbursts, but lately I seem immune/numb to these, much like a lot of other things. although last night I did have a minor outburst, which paradoxically made me feel better. Well I can assure you im not making anything up(if thats what you were implying). Ive run the gauntlet of a lot of health issues, and have/had been feeling pretty healthy physically. I mean perhaps Ill find out im dying of a brain tumor or something lol, however I doubt this as I had a cat scan a few weeks back after my concussion from my car accident.This is more just a huge shift in the way Im viewing the world, and i seemingly have very little control over it. hence why I created this thread. And i feel for you about going through all the tests etc. western medicine is pretty damn inept. I went through 8 doctors in 4 years before i got somewhat of a diagnosis, and even then it was only because I had done the research. Specailist after specialist, ones who were supposed to be the best in their fields, did nothing except offer me anti depressants. Even with all the physical symptoms. Of course I was depressed, my youthful vitality was gone! The things Im experiencing now I wouldnt tell to a western doctor if my life depended on it. Theyd offer me a pill and perhaps a white jacket.

This part in bold is exactly how its been. In my interaction with the girl I described in my first post..there was a definite liking/attraction for her..however it was as if I had no "base" or background when talking with her. (plus my innate sexual drive is..missing im assuming this stems from the same issue)Like, Ok, I know Ive done good things, accomplishments in my past, but its as if I have no emotional connection with those; or they mean very little to me. So I speak of these things dispassionately with others, as quite frankly at this point they mean little to nothing to me. I also have very vague memories of these things,(my memory has taken a nosedive, i thought meditation helped with this) and your correct, it feels as if it never even happened. I feel this is where the disconnect is coming from. The only good thing is at least Im aware of it. What you speak of about the west viewing spirituality is probably very true. Hence why I havent told a soul about this stuff, except for on this board. I often feel lately like I have very little to talk about with others except for whats happening right there and then in the moment. The sensations I described havent been particularly unpleasant, but remembering I have a long history of health issues, it is sometimes hard to discern what is what. But what Im describing in this thread is...different. and i know my body well. and I have heard some of Tolles stuff- done a few of his meditations. I heard stories about him and what he went through, and just actually read a few weeks ago where it took him some time to process what was going on. as always, you seem to have hit quite close to whats happening to me.. thank you.

Just a minor update..last night during meditation I experienced a tingling up and down my left leg for what lasted about 2-3 minutes..I made note earlier in my thread about feeling "numb" on the left side of top of head; almost as if that side of my brain, it hasnt been functioning. Also along with the tingling came muscle twitches in the left arm. I cant say the tingling was unpleasant at all; in fact it felt good. I also had a mildly erotic dream, something that has been totally absent for some time(any hint of sexuality has been absent).. I also awoke with what seemed like 100 images in my head, none of which were unpleasant, mostly of things in nature like beaches, mountains,etc. I also cried a bit out of nowhere during meditation last nite. My emotional capacity has been severely blunted lately so I took this as a good thing and it seemed to have released something because of the dreams,etc. Just thought Id make a note of it here.

Haha Yeah I suppose not much to do except just go with it. Its good to see that there are others who have experienced this type of thing, When I started out meditating I was simply hoping for a calmer mindset and health benefits.. LOL its turned into a whole other ballgame so to speak. I played baseball professionally in Indiana for a time, before injuries took their toll.

Thank you I will look up the movement exercises. I think they could definitely help.

Oh man, this is a little scary haha..Big dark cahuna..lol somedays it feels like its already here! I need to remember in the scheme of things this is nothing compared to what many go through. and by no means has it been all bad..just..very very different.. Like I said I feel like Im a much different person..One thing is Im having a very hard time "connecting" with others..Like Ill feel good on my own and I start talking with someone and it starts great and I quickly lose interest and fade out..then am alone again and feel better..Yet Im having an overwhelming desire to be social, but once I get there its the last place I wanna be. Ive always been sligthly introverted but this feels different, like I am able to talk very easily but im getting no joy from it..Its like everything is deeply unsatisfying and im yearning for something more, but Ive NO idea what that "more" would be. I need to be content with where I am..but its this underlying scratch. idk if that makes sense..

THanks. Im not claiming to be on a higher consciousness or anything or even close to being "awakened" but I do feel something is changing and I have almost no control over it. I suppose this is what your saying..dont try to control whatever it is and go with the flow. I DO feel like im subtly operating on a different vibration somehow but cant quite explain it.. What your describing about feeling like somethings missing is perfect, Im guessing youve gone through this stuff before? I will heed your advice for sure.