soaren

Okay so, from what I can gather at this point in my life, I have the standard conundrum of a male in western society. I am stuck in a hegelian dialectic: To be an emotional man, but to also be a "strong independent" man. To be a monk or to be a soldier; a priest or a general. To solve this, I would need to first know how one can love when "love" is just scientifically a dopamine rush - an illusion; yet we are told in all spiritual traditions to "love thy neighbor". What is "love" in the Daoist, egoless sense (if "love" is "real" esoterically, it must be beyond biological origins, otherwise it is PURELY an illusion)? All my relationships have been "be the strong independent man" or I will leave you and find someone else... There is always that red pill catch in my (and all my friends) relationships - that kind of feeling men are dispensable cogs, we have no right to feeling... Makes it seem like love is an impossibility - a "phantom" of the chivalric era (thanks Nietchze). If love and emotions ARE an illusion, then naturally, being emotional is a weakness (emotion is an illusion, yet it prescribed for spiritual development...?), and actually being a cold cruel asshole is the LOGICAL path (I'm playing devil's advocate here. And what is an "acceptable emotional man", considering emotions are also an illusion, but yet they are required for "spiritual development? I think love and emotions are NOT a dead end, I feel like I want to give love freely, but most people in society FORCE me, by their own lack of love into the "me vs them" bubble that makes it all sort of vain... Not sure exactly how to explain it. One thing I am kinda tossing around in my head is that I really want to get F-I-T, in the sense that A) I can be more vulnerable, and feel safe in doing so, but it actually might just be feeding my ego construct and that path forward is essentially a lie, and I need to actually just loosen my ego's grasp... Ideas? Sorry for long post. Phrased in a psuedocode computer way: Emotional man if true (emotional cultivation is desirable for enlightenment) - Spiritually: What is the purpose of emotion when emotions are to be "outgrown"? - Scientifically: Emotions are a lie, a dopamine rush. else We are all "god" so EMOTIONS ARE VOID. Love if true (there is such a thing as "love") What is "it"? else Love is a dopamine rush, love is a lie. IT'S AN EGOTISTICAL LIE!

Eh, so my issue is that I consider my body and soul separate? ... Something up there clicked... I don't know what, I just heard it... But uh... Isn't that true? Aren't they on different planes of existence? I mean technically that would mean they are not separate, but technically they are. Implying otherwise would mean the soul ("energetic vibrations") is dependent on the existence of a living body to survive, which, according to any sensible religion, it is not. Unless you are implying hinduism and daoism are atheistic? Language, oh language, why do you have to fail me NOW??? =\ =\ =\ Does that thought somehow infiltrate my ability to be in the moment? Or...?

If there is a "natural and graceful way", that means that there is a type of love OUTSIDE of dopamine rushes? But but but I want to dismantle them NOW. (Turns off inner brat).

It still doesn't really make a lot of sense to me. I still haven't really accepted death yet, *I think that means I am not living in the moment*? Is that a "side effect" of that thinking? Here's basically my issue - I don't see how one can have the resolve without ego. It still doesn't make sense to me. It seems to me that the people that have the most resolve in life are the ones most attached to their form. Thoughts?

I don't quite understand how these two paradigms can be reconciled. Also, if you have read into the power of positive intention and concentration, I would seem that "turning off the thinking process" would actually be counter-productive to (worldly) "success". (I guess I want a bit of both?) But who seriously has time to turn off thought? To live as a monk in this reality - let's be honest, is that seriously possible in this age? Because I don't see many of those types being successful in life - having a family etc (I don't want to become a recluse). I'm reaching a point where my "true" personality is coming out, in the sense that it is not forced - and it's wonderful. I actually was trying to hard, struggling, to become this person from action, and I'm finding more and more that just BEING is literally much more productive than actually trying to be... It's just a matter of balancing the scales. (I don't know if that helps you understand the point I am at right now, I know there is some sort of "path of pattern" that everyone goes through on the path of enlightenment, but I have never found a written out step by step list of the way that the mind develops in this spirtual sense from materialism to "atman thinking").

I have a simple question that I feel does not have a simple answer: Is engaging in self defense an act of egotism (against a soul that obviously has ego issues)? Basically there are two and a half answers that are possible: Yes No Martial arts and all of the physical "monk-like" endeavors are utilized for their spiritual value and development, not self defense. I'm kind of in the middle of such a hypothetical three way battle with myself, and I was looking for opinions based on the logic of Eastern Belief Systems on both sides of the debate so I can make up my own mind, which will help me understand the soul energy vs ego struggle that is going on in my spiritual plane at the moment. Thanks! - Soaren

I am into martial arts (if my picture didn't make it obvious), an the more and more I learn I realize that the internal (of the spirituality behind) martial arts. I just started meditating. I'm not looking for a scientific debate (what is x etc), I'm looking for real insight from someone with experience. I'm looking for feeling (it's a spiritual matter), not scientific insight. My goal is to understand at a spiritual level what chi IS, for personal development and for my martial arts. What it (chi) FEELS LIKE. Everything I've read has basically stated it is something that you tangibly can "feel". Whether that means feel like physical body sensations (muscle fatigue/papercut etc) or feel as in a sort of "seeing" sense, sorta like a sixth sense feel. I'm going to ask in the form of a question: Since I cannot "feel" my chakras (kundalini 101 videos on youtube be damned), I am going to start doing muscle tensation and relaxation techniques and yoga to become very in touch with how my (physical) body is feeling, and that'll probably help me learn to be more "in the now", a part of Daoism and Hinduism that I fail at miserably. I am horribly unkinesthetic. Most of the time my body is completely numb to my conciousness unless I really think about how a particular body part feels. Sometimes it actually takes mental effort to "feel" my feet for example. From there I am assuming I will eventually have some spiritual event or insight that will allow me to "feel" the energy that is in my chakras and dantains, that's kinda of the progression I think a lot of the hindu texts imply occurs in students of "The Path". Is this how it happened for you as you started developing in your meditative journey? You first felt your muscles, then you felt the chakra "energy", and was that chi? Or is chi something different? Long Question. Thanks! - Soaren

Basically feel like I'm alone, like I'm in the middle of an endless desert by myself, trying to navigate enlightenment without the light of the sun or moon to guide me. I came here looking for some guidance. Enlightenment is really depressing. People act like it's uplifting and beautiful but I don't buy it. It's the act of realizing this world is just 100% BS, there's really nothing here to do to feel fulfilled once you stop caring about material wealth. The main reason why I signed up is because I'm looking for some guidance in the respect that, (this is coming from a Westerner in the USA), what do you do in life once you stop caring about material possessions? How can I meet similar minded people (I'm not the most romantically compatible guy with the vast majority of women in this country)? What should I aspire to obtain now that shiny pretty things is crossed off my TODO list of life? I understand that the world is run by a very few evil group of people. I understand history as it occured, not as it was written (and I was taught in school...). The only thing that I can manage to grasp onto that has any remote importance in my life anymore is personal development. My mental attitude (been working on it for years) has gotten to the point where I need (physical) discipline, which is why I am now weightlifting and doing martial arts 5 times a week plus. And then when I reach my goals in those disciplines, then what? What comes next? Do I just meditate with a killer six pack body capable of breaking many boards lined up in a row until I die? The thing, that honestly scares me in a way, is that I am not depressed. I am not suicidal. I don't "need help". I'm unlinked from the materialistic paradigm that the vast majorty of people in my society are hopelessly attached to. What do I do now? Is feeling this way normal? Have any of you experienced this? What did you do to solve it? Maybe I'm missing my "old mind" drive to obtain things to look cool. I know I can never go back to that mindset, and I don't want to. I just feel like I have no energy, that I'm just a zombie, that I have no drive or aspirations anymore, mainly because I just don't know what my next target is in life. Thanks, soaren Student of the Path of the Dao.

Haha it's funny because that's actually how I thought about it, and when I had that thought it made me giggle to myself. I mean, jokes aside, learning about your world, having a personal epiphany, reading a spiritual text or two, meditating for even 15 minutes or hitting the dojo does really make it easier to be happy, easier to be content, easier to be alive really.

I've been searching for a library with the complete volumes of the Vedas on and off for a while now, but I have not been able to locate one. Hoping one of you guys might know of one. thanks! - Soaren

I meditated on this last night right after the post because realizing I had actually gotten to the point where I had posted it had made me really upset. Then I realized this, maybe you'll agree with me here: There are really two major paradigms of thought that you can pursue in this universe, what is outside of you, and what is inside of you. Since Big Screen TV's and shiny cars are outside of me and I don't really care about those things anymore, maybe I need to open the sale flier in my mind and see what practicing spirituality in action can buy inside of myself. It hasn't really brought back those feelings I had before, but I suppose it is a start. I'm going to meditiate on this for a few days and see if that's really how I need to think to get out of this rut. Appreciate the advice guys! Keep it coming! Thanks! Glad to be here! Need more people to talk to! - Soaren