sunchild

he lay there enraptured by the timely waltz of the stratus a gaudy vanguard bordering the burning eye of god shaken as the silence roared forth from slumber he looked about and found many people had become as glass - me

do any of you have any personal experiences with any of the works of mouni sadhu? from the reviews that are available of his work, he seems to be highly recommended. i'm currently considering purchasing a few books of his, "samadhi: the superconsciousness of the future" "meditation" "concentration" from the way reviewers speak of his work, his methods seem to be fairly rigid. at the moment i have been searching for an internal practice and from what i've gathered from the reviews of "concentration" in particular, it is essentially mental yoga. i've begun working on belly breathing/stretching and emptiness meditation. i believe that those coupled with one or all of these books will help to give me a stable foundation for when i have the funds to go visit a qigong master for proper instruction. **many have suggested overcoming anger/aggression, depression/frustration to an extent before engaging in a practice, as that will promote a 'cleaner' entrance into the art. if any of you have any experiences with the teachings of these books i would very much appreciate your input

do you think the enochian entities are in any way related to those of the qlippoth?

so basically if i were to follow a path of my own making, i would have no need to chain myself to a particular egregore and risk a stranger siphoning my power when i may be running low. i plan on taking qigong, currently saving for a trip to see a master. how is there an egregore for qigong? performing qigong and visualizaing/impregnating your aura seem like very different things to me. what is your definition of self mastery? sonofthegods, zhongyongdaoist i've been reading your posts of past, teach me please **ps regardies 1 year manual does seem interesting from what i gathered from a quick read through

wow

chaining your aura to an egregore does seem like quite a commitment.

not using a computer unless it's for communication or research, and staying away from electronics in general works best for me.

for me personally between 9-10 pm, closer to 9. i usually wake up around 4-5, i rise with the sun no need for an alarm clock.

/

stop it. what would you suggest i do? i feel so far away from people/places right in front of me, it's like i'm on the other side of a veil or something. i feel like i've escape the grasp of a clandestine something, and it desperately wants me back under its control. i'm just floating stimpy, in an ocean i've never known. my emotions/moods are far more stable now, but i just can't seem to get the hang of a life more aware. people tell me to let go, but i've nothing more to let go of. current life is ground zero. so what i wanted to be someone, a lot of people want a career they enjoy, am i wrong for wanting an earthly pursuit. for something to bring me happiness? i've already lost her and that has to be enough. now i've gone from abysmal depression to just blank emptiness. it's like nothing is really happening, it's like i can't convince myself to care like before, i've lost all motivation/desire for most anything. life just feels like an acid trip now. people come to me with their problems, i know not why. people random/known ask me 'do you know who you are?" and walk away people and their words have become as glass. mid-life/existential crises at mid-20s. great.

thank you for your honesty.

since i've become more opened to energy/spiritual world, it feels as though the farther i tread the path the more castrated my will becomes. in this society true spiritual pursuits seem to be a path riddled with cognitive dissonance. so many of my thought processes/pasttimes erased/'let go' for their being 'negative' sometimes i honestly wish i could forget everything. overall i think i was much happier in my illusions/narrow perception of years past. thank you very much idiot_stimpy for shining a light upon my stupidity/naivete.

this.

i didn't mention trying to mesh the two practices into a hybrid form, nor did i suggest i would ever follow the koeting school. i haven't even committed to/performed any golden dawn rituals. i am aware of agrippa, but i find the dusty monacle he writes with agitating to say the least.

yes i believe in poltergeist to an extent, i entertain the thought but i do not fully accept it. i've read up on it and it seems that sometimes it is just 'untamed' raw mind power/psi that creates occurrences such as these. as is described here \/ thank you for sharing sonofthegods i'm working on attaining full lotus by fall maybe december, you have a grounding wire!!? are you willing to direct me to any of these individuals? all i've seen as far as teachers are ea koetting videos ... .... ....

no it's not any pipes or anything, my dad checked it all out thoroughly and i think its starting to really upset them, especially when it comes around the time they're usually going to sleep. idk if it's me or another spirit, but something definitely did a cute 'knock' when i was contemplating your post. like should i be speaking with them if it is spirits trying to get my attention? i don't fear the presence of the knocking anymore, so i don't really know what else it is they could want. i heard one of the qigong master guys heals spirits and that they come to him to be 'freed'? it's just odd. i did see a black mist spirit manifest in our downstairs though one night. i had used a little marijuana and when i came in my dog started barking at seemingly nothing (he still does a lot now that i think about it), but as soon as i looked at the spot he was focused on from a different angle, i could clearly see the 'black mist' thing/spirit just hovering there. it didn't feel pleasant? but i don't know how spirits are supposed to feel life has been going much better for me these last few months, any experience with something like this?

!! that's unfortunate, i've heard that enochian is a pretty dangerous system to be involved with- especially is it doesn't 'call' you. when you talk about electrical interference, it brings up another thing i forgot to mention. sometimes when i do meditation(infrequently :/) or when i'm in that state where i'm falling asleep but not fully sleeping, it's like i start hearing peoples conversations, or i 'see'/hear scenes from peoples lives/sometimes even tv shows (but i don't watch tv, besides the occasional movie)- it catches me off guard sometimes. i will vividly 'see' something that seems to have absolutely no connection to me, but most of the time i forget them because i end up dreaming about something that kind of 'pushes it back' :/

he seems very... unbalanced

how do you cope with this/integrate it into your life idiot_stimpy?

this, i do not like. i've become very used to and have adapted some of my 'senses' into everyday life (after the initial shock of course ) i just fear qigong madness, i had an episode that greatly mirrored the symptoms of it during my 'kundalini-arousal' episode, and it 'was a bit much' to be honest. i'm debating on whether to try out the 100 day spf qigong regiment. i'm already well into celibacy (body/mental) after a rough start and i'm hearing that an internal practice of some sort is kind of imperative.. true, i've heard this from many people now. i've been working on belly breathing the last couple days, reinforcing the habit. please do, i'd like to hear your advice/knowledge about this.

life is beautiful because you're only as free as you want to be

after making my introductory post, that included a bit of back story and my main motive for consulting with the taobums community, i was recommended to take up an internal-practice. i'd like to know which internal practices you all would recommended and that are free of charge. i don't have the transportation to commute from my area to a capable teacher, nor do i have any money with which i could pay them for their services. the two recommendations i received were both forms of qigong. through my research on qigong it seems to be a practice where a physical teacher is highly recommended, especially when qigong 'madness' or energy imbalances occur. also having a teacher present is 'good' for making sure your form is correct/fluid? sometimes things get a bit electric, would appreciate any advice

ps- how hard is it to begin to settle into the full lotus position. i hear full-lotus is like the 'ultimate meditative position'

i don't understand. what's wrong with saying what you mean and standing by your word?

i'm going to do that and see what comes of it cat, thank you! yea, i'm hoping for another upgrade and not a 'trial period'.. guh. last time i was about to have an 'upgrade' i felt like i was dying with lightning going up and down my back.. this one shouldn't be so bad..