markern

Xabir would you say that a Buddha has no emotions and no sexuality? What do you think of actualism?

Check out mindfulness based stress reduction and the research that has been done on it. It is a form of breath and mindfulness based meditation technique that has consistently showed a reduction in pain of arround 40% or so in only a couple of mnths time in CHRONIC pain patients. You mentioned your husband being in pain and if this is physical pain then this hsould help a lot. Also I am guessing that you are both worried about your sex life as he is now imobile. That need not be a concern actually. In tantric/karezza syle lovemkaing movement s largely obsolete and often discouraged. Still it leads to the most blissfull and bonding orgasms you can imagine. Not sure how that works if he actually can`T feel anything but at least as long as he can feel not being able to move should not create big problems for this type of lovemaking. CHeck out reuniting.info. It is a site about karezza sex. It is sort of a simple western tantra. They keep talking about not having orgasms but actualy mean avoiding conventional peak orgasms and having "valley orgasms" instead as you can see here: http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/neotaoism_and_karezza http://www.reuniting.info/testimonials/men_share_experience_with_sex_without_orgasm I`ll get back to this thread in a few days time to give you some ideas I have about how best to progress with qigong and meditation for him to possibly create results in terms of mobility and at least increase quality of life and happiness a lot.

If you want to get enlightened then read Daniel Ingrams Mastering the core teachings of the Buddha (it`s free on his website) and ask for practice advice on his forum dharmaoverground. His book presents a detailed map of all the stages on goes through up from begining up untill the highest stages of Budhist enlightenment except Buddhahood and how to skillfully and quickly progress in the different stages. It is remarkable to see how much faster people who have been doing Vipassana for years progress once they read the book and start partaking in discussions at the forum. So if you want to reach a basic level of enlightenment quickly then do that. If you want a genuine taoist lineage then go learn Yi Gong from Jenny Lamb. It is very powerful, from a genuine Maoshan lineage and she seems like one of the most down to earth and sensible teachers around. If you want physical power then just add a good martial art. She also does (or did Viapssana) and says it fits well with Yi Gong. So doing both should get you fast progress towards enlightenment and very high energy levels. You might pick up some siddhis on the way who knows but I don`t really see the point in being able to light things on fire with my chi as long as I have a steady supply of matches and lighters. If you do want Siddhis the classic buddhist way of getting them is to achieve the fourth Jhana and then ask for them to be developed right before you go into it. I really don`t know but I would guess that is actually a much easier way than to seek out Jhon Chang type masters and use a wide variety of qigong techniques to develop abilities. Seems much easier to access a high concentration state that although difficult to achieve can be taught to you by many people and that you will achieve as long as you put in the hours on the cushion.

Contact SFJane!. She is one of thetaobums and you can PM her. She has cultivated to a high level and has had sex with other women and some transgendered people. She would know about the details of cultivating when both are men. She might point you to some teachers or books or have a couple of tips herself. THere are also books about tantra for gay men that you could look into.

You might also check out Mystress Angelique for someone who knows a thing or two about kinky sex and spirituality. Well for the man the basic most important thing would be to have orgasms without ejaculating. THat will save him a lot of energy. Once one does that having sex with a women, especially in a relaxed tantric kind of way will lead to a blending of energies that creates better yin and yang balance for both. The man receives yin energy from the woman and she receives yang from him so both get more balanced. Sometime after starting yoga and meditation I started to notice this was happening. When I practice a lot it will also happen to some extent with female masseuses. I feel cool energy going from them to me and warm from me them and feel more balanced because of it afterwards. Its not so much through the hands actually as just through the air. It was freaky suddenly realizing this was happening without having tried to make anything happen. During sex this will of course become much more intense. Generally the orgasms women tend to have during sex is not the "tantric orgasm" that one wants to have during such sex and which is energetically most beneficial for her. If you read at the reuniting.info page you will understand some of the effects of the various types of orgasms. These have a profound effect on balancing the individual and the relationship. In some of their forum threads they clarify that what they think you should have is what is called the valley orgasm. THe site can be confusing as they talk about not having orgasms but what they mean for you is to have this fundamentally different orgasm. IF you search through my older posts and look for those in threads about sex you will see I have written a lot about this. Lastly in the thread about getting laid or getting chicks while having integrity which you can find in the lobby. Beyond just what happens by having such sex there are specific methods for circulating the energy between the partners in various ways that are beneficial I don`t know much about that so you will just have to find someone that can guide you or read A LOT about it first and then try the simplest circulations and stick with that. I would also start a thread here and explain the method of circulating you intend to use in order to get feedback on it her as some with experience might have important input. I would contact Santiago or Tao Semko or Shaktimama for a couple of private lessons as they know this stuff well, teach it and, I am guessing, would be amongst those who would be flexible and understanding about incorporating various types of kink. My personal guess is that when you incorporate any sort of very exciting sex that affects the energy in a particular way that makes it very hot which is what you want to avoid according to the reuniting site. My take on that is that that would not be a problem as long as one ends the session by calming things down a lot and either bringing the energy more to the heart for transformation or that one through loooong calm embrace or the types of bonding behaviours sugested at reuniting naturally makes the energy cool of and blend with the heart energy without conciosuly moving it anywhere. If you read several of the posts I have written in therads about karezza and tantra and sex and read on the reuniting site you should understand what I mean by that. If not then PM but read that first. But really I don`t know this stuff at all this is just my best guess so you are better of contacting someone who actually knows something about this. This is a good thread for you: http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/11567-female-orgasms-and-energy-cultivation/

reuniting.info Kap 2 + in Michael Lomax book which you can find a link to in his (Ya Mu on this board) posts he describes a supposedly very good technique of dual cultivation but both have to be cultivators to make it work. Shaktimama has a messageboard/meail list or something about sex and Kundalini. I think as for dual cultivation to just use sex for beneficial energetic development there are several fairly good oportunitis arround fo rpeople who have a base in unaroused practices but to practice real tantra as a path you need to go old school and follow rather strict guidelines and have preliminaries in order.

Might lead to some interesting misunerstandings

And Deida is recommended reading by a lot of puas.

I have heard good things about the actual qigong practices that Falun Gong has. However, there is no doubt that it is a rather sinister cult with all that entails. I hope that you are one of those that have just stuck to the practices and stayed away from the rest. If not then I urge you to REALLY REALLY look into all the writings by ex members that detail the cultish aspects of the organization and the abusiveness they have encountered.

THe book Hidden dangers og yoga and meditation has a bit about the effect on your children. Primarily the adivce was to not be physically close to them when doing hardcore kundalini stuff etc. And that they also can get spacey of you do stillness type meditation for a long time wile the children are just near by. He said a bit more too but I can`t remember. There should be some traditional advice on this stuff in the Indian and Chineese traditions. The book is by Del Pe

I think reading the warrior king magician lover book could be great for you Non!

THey tend to always like that. Considering what you wrote about being the man you might find some extra inspiration and tips for mentally exciting her in Daniel Rose and David Shades books. Some of Shades stuff is very advanced and takes time to build up to but it is damn good and modified versions of it, just getting inspiration from it, can work wonders too. There is unusually good and unique stuff about making women vaginally orgasmic in Shades book. Don`t let her read it though as surprise is key for so much of what he suggests. This is part of a post I wrote in another thread that I think can be beneficial for ypu to read: "There is however an important distinction between the type of multiorgasmic sex one has. The type were you are very excited and have to use some sort of forceful method to get the energy up such as using the pelvic muscle a lot tend to be more draining and can be unbalancing as opposed to the "real" tantric/taoist orgasm which happens through relaxation, mindfulness and surrender and the ability to move energy with the mind alone. The former being a more explosive orgasm that is often more muscular and more connected to the lower centers and the latter more relaxed, streaming blissful, valley like. The explosive type tends to generate more of a kick and the second more love but is still more mindblowing but in a different way. With the more explosive types of orgasm it appears more work is required to refine the energy in meditation in order for it not to be unbalancing. The second type is largely balanced to begin with. It is also a frequent observation that masturbation seems to be more unbalancing and need more refinement work than sex with a girlfriend. THis is probably a combination of couple sex leading to giving you more of the womans yin to balance the yang of your orgasm and of the orgasm itself becoming closer to the second type and more feelings of love being generated at the same time. Generally heart energy is a (the) key to balance out energy from non ejaculatory sex. Sex with a girl you love by itself does this partly or fully. If you read this site: reuniting.info you will find a lot of interesting arguments for why the "tantric" orgasm leads to very stable and loving relationships as opposed to relationships with sex based on the regular orgasm. Wether the theory is absolutely correct or it certainly is the case that many people find this style of lovemaking to have the effect of harmonizing the relationship and keeping love alive. THis all fits rather well with the fact that explosive mulitorgasms needs to be balanced with heart energy. Don`t be confused by the fact that they talk about no orgasms. THey clarify in a couple of posts in the forum that they do mean that the tantric valley orgasm is what one should have. By the way I am a believer in starting a relationship with all the explosive lustful sex one wants and then changing to the Karezza/tantric/taoist style once the honeymoon is over and maybe end up with some sort of combination or just the valley orgasm type. As they go into on the site each style has its functions in the process of mating and I think probably there is natural wisdom in starting in the more common explosive way. If you look up my older posts in threads about sex you will find posts were I go a bit more into some of this stuff and others write related things. What I have written here is a combination of the "collective wisdom" of thetaobums in the sense of observations made over time combined with what my teacher says and only a little bit of personal experience. " I would just like to underline that this is also a style of orgasm recommended for, and very much enjoyed by, women as well. However, since normal orgasms has been a problem for her and since your are at the beginning of your relationship I would focus more on the normal way of doing things but just trying out this stuff. It might help a lot with teaching you a better way of having multiple orgasms and of a better quality something which could help your problem. THe karezza style makes a lot of this happen almost by itself but with more vigorous love making you will usually need more technique and then I believe breathing and awareness is key. Lots of deep belly breathing (great for building energy also) and breath awareness meditation will teach you the relaxation awareness and breath control that will really facilitate this (long term). I write more about this in some older posts in threads that concern sex. As for becoming vaginally orgasmic the deep spot(s)/a-spot(s) whatever you want to call them are superb for this. Search for deep spot and david shade on google and youtube and you will find an article and a video explaining location and pressure techniques. Also using a version of the shallow and deep thrusting technique and the screwing motion (rotating your penis while thrusting and the other taoist thrusting technique can do a lot to help women come vaginally. A good idea might be to take KAP 1 and 2. In KAP 2 they teach you sexual techniques for dual and solo cultivation that alow you to ejaculate with little or no loss of energy. I don`t know what the techniques are but they are apparently simple and mostly just about awareness and energy exchange. Mal has mentioned success with this so you might ask him. KAP has worked very well for a lot of people here although not all. For those who find it works for them it gives very, very high energy levels and very good health in addition to many other benefits. Combined with your physical practices it could be a good way for you to rebuild your energy and kidneys, Especially since it teaches sexual techniques that sounds perfect for you and that is not always thought by other good systems. However, KAP might lead to your kundalini being raised and Kundalini can be harsh on the adrenals so the kidneys should probably be in quite good order before that happens. As I understand it what raises the actual kundalini in KAP is a specific way to combine a couple of practices and doing them intensively and by not doing that untill you feel ready you can reap the benefits of the system without getting kundalini before you want it. THe instructors should be able to explain how to minimize the risk. Here is a kidney strengthening exercise I have found beneficial. Put one foot on top of the other leg/knee and hold the hand of the arm on the same side of the body as the lifted foot on the foot so that the palm chakra aligns with spleen 6 on your ankle, then use your other hand to slap the sole of the foot so your palm chakra hits about where the kidney 1 point is. hit about once every second. I was taught that a normal person can do up till 500 a day (per foot) but no more and someone with a specific issue to cure can do 800. I find a few hundred to do a lot. I am guessing the male deer exercise as taught at umaatantras webpage could help also in building up your sexual energy reserves but it does use a pc clench (can be done mildly). I find it superb.

Hi Bird! Yes Juggler is great. I have read a couple of times that his main inspirations were Jeet Kune Do and Dale Carnegie. Supposedly his practice of Jeet Kune Do made him try to think in terms of making a "loose" style of pickup that allows the practioners personality and particular strengths be utilized. As far as I understand Jeet Kune Do tries to create a framework wherein people find their individual fighting style. I think Juggler method is kind of like that. It is a framework that lets you display whoever you are and helps you make her display who she is and based on that you escalate in a natural way if there is genuine connection there. What comes out when a person uses the method is totally unpredictable and will always depend on the person as opposed to styles that almost teaches you to be a certain character. And yes there is something sort of taoist and natural about it. Its sort of relaxed and open as opposed to trying to make anything happen. The effect of sex and girlfriends is hotly debated. Some would say not having it AND not thinking about it allows energy to build up (no ejaculations) and an undistracted mind that can focus in meditation. In this way not having a girlfriend becomes sort of like a retreat . On the other hand some argue that with correct sexual techniques you generate more energy than through celibacy and you are better able to balance your energies. Having a girlfriend will also, like little else bring forth your issues to be dealt with in a spiritual practice. Sort of like martial arts can bring them to the surface because fighting can provoke you to face yourself in very rough situations and bring up demons. My meditation teacher went through a period where he thought nothing could hurt him emotionally anymore because of what he had attained through meditation. Then he got a girlfriend and found that was not true at all. Had he remained celibate and just meditated and taught others he could have remained in this illusion for the rest of his life. Instead he had to learn how to be free in the midst of real pain which is real spiritual freedom as opposed to just being happy under specific conditions. Some traditions will create situations with suffering on purpose for the practioners to practice in. With the highs and lows of a relationship your attainments and your compassion will always be "reality tested". Being compassionate towards strangers can be real easy as opposed to someone you have heated arguments with. If you want to know how great a master is you should ask his wife . Other situations can also provide this sort of challenge but this is certainly one that does. Getting back to the topic of energy, my teacher claims he gets about double the extra energy from regular sex with sperm retention (and 1 or 2 ejaculations a month) than he did as celibate. Having been a monk in the tibetan tradition for 4 years he knew precisely what celibacy brings. Just like a qigong practice a dual cultivation practice can generate more energy. THis also fits with a study that was done on multiorgasmic worms. Scientists manipulated a type of worm so the male could have orgasms without ejaculations. THen they divided them into one group that was not allowed to have sex, one that had sex with ejaculations and one that had multiorgasmic sex without ejaculations. What happened was that the celibate worms lived substantially longer than the ejaculating ones but the multiorgasmic one lived substantially longer than the celibate ones. THis supports the theory held by some taoists that multiorgasmic sex is more healthy than celibacy and celibacy more than ejaculatory sex. Not proof of course but certainly interesting. There is however an important distinction between the type of multiorgasmic sex one has. The type were you are very excited and have to use some sort of forceful method to get the energy up such as using the pelvic muscle a lot tend to be more draining and can be unbalancing as opposed to the "real" tantric/taoist orgasm which happens through relaxation, mindfulness and surrender and the ability to move energy with the mind alone. The former being a more explosive orgasm that is often more muscular and more connected to the lower centers and the latter more relaxed, streaming blissful, valley like. The explosive type tends to generate more of a kick and the second more love but is still more mindblowing but in a different way. With the more explosive types of orgasm it appears more work is required to refine the energy in meditation in order for it not to be unbalancing. The second type is largely balanced to begin with. It is also a frequent observation that masturbation seems to be more unbalancing and need more refinement work than sex with a girlfriend. THis is probably a combination of couple sex leading to giving you more of the womans yin to balance the yang of your orgasm and of the orgasm itself becoming closer to the second type and more feelings of love being generated at the same time. Generally heart energy is a (the) key to balance out energy from non ejaculatory sex. Sex with a girl you love by itself does this partly or fully. If you read this site: reuniting.info you will find a lot of interesting arguments for why the "tantric" orgasm leads to very stable and loving relationships as opposed to relationships with sex based on the regular orgasm. Wether the theory is absolutely correct or it certainly is the case that many people find this style of lovemaking to have the effect of harmonizing the relationship and keeping love alive. THis all fits rather well with the fact that explosive mulitorgasms needs to be balanced with heart energy. Don`t be confused by the fact that they talk about no orgasms. THey clarify in a couple of posts in the forum that they do mean that the tantric valley orgasm is what one should have. By the way I am a believer in starting a relationship with all the explosive lustful sex one wants and then changing to the Karezza/tantric/taoist style once the honeymoon is over and maybe end up with some sort of combination or just the valley orgasm type. As they go into on the site each style has its functions in the process of mating and I think probably there is natural wisdom in starting in the more common explosive way. If you look up my older posts in threads about sex you will find posts were I go a bit more into some of this stuff and others write related things. What I have written here is a combination of the "collective wisdom" of thetaobums in the sense of observations made over time combined with what my teacher says and only a little bit of personal experience. A third beneficial factor of relationships is that dual cultivation/tantric type sex in itself is meditation and as such builds those skills. It is actually practice time in a sense. So in conclusion I would say that celibacy can be a good option for periods of time and sometimes maybe even life for certain practioners but that relationships offer a very good path that for many can be much better than the celibate path. Both strategies can also be used at different times in the life of one perspn At spirit rock (a retreat center) I know they sometimes have retreats that focus on relationships as a spiritual practice. If you look up the work of Goffman on relationships you will find some very intelligent strongly scientifically based ways of working on your relationship. If you find a fairly good match, have the type of orgasms that I discussed and do some good relationship work you have an unusually good chance at having a great relationship that can also benefit your spiritual practice.

But what would be the Vipassana/insight element to the water method? To me it sounds like form of soft energywork and a concentrative technique not insight meditation but I don`t know much more about it then I have read here?

THere was a guy o the charimsaarts forum (I think the forum is temporarily down) that one day got frustrated and approached 20 women in a few hours. He didn`t get any dates I think but got over his worst fears and from there on focused on picking up girls on the dance floor and became very successful at it. I think that only took him a few months.

I remember that guy! I have followed the forum on and of for years so I know what sort of progression a guy gets if he puts in the work. That type of success is amongst the fastest but not at all uncommon. There was another guy that had never had a friend that went to having a large social circle and getting plenty of girls in a few months. I think that just happens when a guy is VERY ripe and gets exactly the right help. Aron Sleazy (nothing to do with Charimsaarts) went from quite hopeless to legend in the community within a year. But had an unusually good start. Few social fears, loved dancing, comfortable with his sexuality, able to still the mind completely at any given moment (learnt by doing Zen) and an education from London School of Economics (which is one of the worlds best universities). So with such a foundation it is easy building new skills. More normal is to struggle a bit and then see a big improvement. Most seem to make quite large gains in a workshop. Generally I think if you go out two times week to clubs/bars and approach some girls in the streets during the day and generally focus on improving in skills and self esteem and getting your life in order 6 months to a year should transform your life. If you are a nice guy with OK social skills that just does not get how to flirt and not be needy around girls then there could easily be just a couple of moths until he is quite successful. If you are borderline asperger I think 2-3 years of HARD work could do it. I strongly suspect that several of the most successful guys started out somewhere close to that. You can trace peoples post back to the beginning and see their progress and some really started out with ZERO social skills. Anyway, having a good cultivation practice will help A LOT (think inner game, charisma, focus, doing something meaningful with your life etc.)

Much truth in this! Charismaarts.com can teach you to get women while maintaining your integrity!

How much joint rotation are we talking about here?

You could try yoga nidra. In yoga nidra your mind is taken from body part to body part and from sensation to sensation and from image to image. This quick changing of focus is great to still the mind as when you put your mind on something it is usually still for a short while then starts moving again so by jumping from object to object you stay in the initial empty state much of the time. Regardless og how still your mind becomes in the begining it should give a deep relaxation and increased concetration that eventually leads to meditating becoming easy. Bihar school of yoga has nice Yoga nidra CDs

It is called Sheetali. You can find it in several pranyama books. Light on Yoga being one. THe BIhar books another http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/news/sheetali.html

Not sure if this is inn the film but there are studies on monkeys (and mice also I think) regarding this diet and so far the animals on restricted diets are WAY healthier and live longer.

If you eat till only 80% full will a normal person get very skinny or just not fat? I read an article about proponents of a calory restriction diet and they were all very, very skinny. I don`t want to end up like that. NAyway, the 80% full thing feels sort of right for me when I try it.

I am well aware of the difference but it seems to me that the use of the terms have become Vipassana also used for the whole package of shamatha and Vipassana. It is sort of convenient although it creates confusion as well.

Yes acupuncture works all the way in. I feel it everywhere when I get needled. You will need many sessions though.

THe one I practiced was completely different from any of the sun salutations I have done. THe direction was not responsible for the energy. Sun salutations are also heating even if you face the moon but probably less so than if facing the sun. I am guessing there are several versions of moon salutations just as there are many versions of sun salutations.