markern

Vipassana should be perfect for OCD, any mindfulness training would. It is largely the resistance to the thoughts that make them stronger and midnfully allowing them will cause them to diminsih. I think there is some research on OCD and mindfulness meditation. It feels like to me that obsessive thinking is somehow related to the spleen. BEing an anxiety disorder it should also have a kidney conection. The inner smile should also be great to calm and balance you can can allow you to work more directly on the spleen and kidneys shoudl you deceide to do so. If you want I can give you a simple qigong for the spleen and one for the kidneys. They each take about one minute minimum or up to a few minutes if you want to do more. I guess it is quite limited how much you should do something solely for one organ to not get unbalanced but a little bit extra were there is lack seems resonable and works well for me. It is also my experience that obsessive and manic thoughts are the exact oposite of grounding. The pull energy straight up and lock it in the head. So grounding practices will reverse that and it is my experience that it is a great reducer of excessive and obsessive thoughts.

Personal instruction with Drew might um....feel very good

Well what I actually am is a fire person. That is crystal clear to me and I have been diagnosed as such by indian and chineese doctors. So much for astrology. Neither is there anything earthy about me at all. The spleen is my weakest organ and I even have a grounding problem

Then you were doing something wrong and so was he. My teacher says taht noen of the bodhisatvas he met when he was a monk in the Tibetan tradition were free from emotional pain just from suffering. The Zen tradition is crystall clear on emotional pain not going away. If you read Jack Kornfields a Wise heart budhist psychology for the west it is also absolutely clear that budhism does not see emotional pain, only suffering, as going away. If you go to Dharmaoverground and ask the people there that have achieved first, second, third or fourth path they will all confirm that it does not go way. Shinzen young writes about this as well on his homepage in one of his articles. A lot of people interperate equanimity as indiffrence or feeling nothing whereas in reality it is about to fullest most unhindered experience of feeling. As far as I remember indifference is listed as the near enemy of non attatchement in Budhism meaning it is somehow close to it but still its enemy and oposite. The Dalai Lama cries frequently and gets sad frequently but he is still fundamentally happy beneath that at the same time and he recovers VERY quickly. That is the correct way not being a zombie or so much of a bliss junkie that you can not take in what is happening arround you. After the Extacy the Laundry by Jack Kornfield deals with exactly these things. He came home from Asia after having gotten really far and thought he was above regular emotions etc. but found that this was an illusion. Here is Shinzens article about equaniity: http://www.shinzen.org/shinsub3/artEquanimity.pdf

Quite a lot of people, several KAP students for example, report that they get quite a bit physicaly stronger jsut from their meditations and breathing rpactices. Santiago says that five point breathing combined with Tummo naturally gives you a lot of iron shirt development (able to withstand blows to the body). Glenn Morris wrote that he and most others who go through Kundalini get A LOT stronger, way more suple and smooth and much faster in reactions and better in control of the body, and better able to withstand blows. That is just from having the kundalini awaken, move arround, heal some stuff and find its place in the body not from conciously doing this or that with it. Read dr. Morris` Path Notes book if you are interested it is great, not only for martial aritsts.

I was born in early may 1978 what does that say about me?

Google mindfulness baseds stress reduction. It is an extreemly well reseached meditation program tought in hospitals++. It started as an atempt to reduce the pain of pasients with extreeme and chronic pain that had not found help in conventional medicine. The patients had an average of 8 years of other treatments with little effect. Within two months of mindfulness meditation the pain was reduced by arround 40-50% in addition to various other benefits such as a well researched and quite massive jump in happiness and immune function. Also the patients reported being able to cope with the pain that was left much, much better. Pain could still be there but not be perceived as much of a problem. Shinzen young has written a book about how that mechanism works and parts of it can be read on his webpage. The initial pain of life is inevitable but most of what we experience as problematic is the suffering we add to this because we resist and do not want it. Once we let go pain will not necesarilly be so bad. I have sat with horrible pains in my legs, almost unbearble at times, when I meditate and after ten to fifteen minutes I have often been able to just be present in the pain without resistance. Once I do that at least 90% or more of what I felt was a problem was gone but the pain is still there. It is just that it is more like a phenomen that I observe, there is pain but no one who suffers because of it kind of. this is not denial but the oposite. It comes from going head first into the pain and experiencing it fully without resistence. Then things just are and Suffering goes away but pain stays and we find that most of what we perceive as inevitable pain is optional suffering. Shinzen young goes into depth on the pain vs suffering distinction. In a way this is all at least budhism is about. Just be and suffering goes away. You will not be without pain (the buddha has lots of pain on old age) but suffering is the real problem and it can be let go of. Same thing with emotional pain. Even enlightened people experience emotional pain. But without attatchment they do not experience the added suffering that is most of the problem. In a way they experience more emotional pain than others because they are so present to whatever happens and is felt but it just does not bother them all that much. A lot of this is available at lower levels of meditation and mindfulness training as well.

To have one on one contact with a teacher is the best for sure IMO. You can get a whole different level of guidance. I have one that is perfect for me but he is the only one amongst quite a lot of people I have met that I would even consider having an intense student teacher relationship with. Still I will also learn from other people and reading and use my own judgment. For sure I will go on retreats around the world and for the duration of the retreat I will follow what the teachers say and possibly get guidance from them later on. That is quite normal. I would never under any circumstance have a "guru" in the traditional indian sense with almost complete obedience towards him or her and I view all this as MY process were I am the judge at all times. I am willing to put a lot of trust in what a teacher I deem trustworthy says, especially when it comes to the technical aspects of energetic stuff but beyond that they would ave to convince me and I will not do things I feel is not right for me to do. A lot of people leave their own judgment when they get a teacher. I think you live quite close to Ya Mu (Michael Lomax) realtively speaking so doing a retreat with him seems like a good option. He teaches a traditional taoist system that has gotten very good reviews at this board. To me it seems very safe and balanced and effective from what I read. I have also gotten healings from him that were good. I also think his many posts here on this forum shows him to be very sensible in his opinions. He is also a teacher that does not require guru like obedience of any sort but more of a normal teacher/guide. His system can be learnt during a weekend workshop. THen you practice it for a long time and then you do another weekend workshop and learn a bit mroe advanced stuff. What you could do is read through his posts on this forum and see if he resonates with you. If you click on his user you can choose the view users posts option and see through as many as you like. You could also read his book which should teach you a lot about what you want to know about qigong and taoism. And you can try out his Gift of Tao DVD to test out some of his qigong before deceiding. If you look at one of his posts you will see a link to his book ad DVD.

http://www.swamij.com/index.htm You can find detailed explanations of yoga nidra on this page. There are also lots of understandable explanations of what yoga and meditation is and how to build a practice and the final goals. It is about yoga so the wording is a bit different but in most aspects it is the same as taosim so it can be usefull for you as it is so clear. Swami Rama, the one that have written this, was studied extensively many years ago by scientists. He demonstrated an ability to stop his heart for long periods and various other feats of controling the body and mind previously thought impossible. As so many other high level teachers he secretely slept with all his hot female students though. The more you read about this stuff the more you will find that the piritual scene, in the west and in the east, is full of abuse of all kinds. Many, many teachers fuck up the mental health of their students through various forms of mental abuse and male teachers are notorious for sleeping with their female students, often with the excuse of it being a tantric initiation or other such nonsense. I would say the proportion of spiritual teachers sleeping with their students is massively higher than conventional therapists doing the same. The position of teacher and especially guru can give immense power to those who seek to yield power over others. It is not so hard to set yourself up as some sort of all knowing guru and then you can easily control most aspects of the lives of your students. No wonder psychopats and narsisits flock to this scene. So beware and do your research about the teachers you get involved with. This article by shinzen young about equanimity is superb: http://www.shinzen.org/shinsub3/artEquanimity.pdf Understanding what he says clears up perhaps THE most common misunderstanding amongst western people praciticing eastern spirituality. This article is in no way essential but highly usefull: http://www.shinzen.org/shinsub3/artExperAssoc.pdf The escaping into life article on his page is also very usefull as is the meditation and the self article and so is this one: http://www.shinzen.org/shinsub3/What%20is%20Mindfulness.pdf Usefull discussion of what happens when you get enlightened: http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/374325?_19_redirect=%2Fweb%2Fguest%2Fdiscussion%2F-%2Fmessage_boards%2Fsearch%3F_19_redirect%3D%252Fweb%252Fguest%252Fdiscussion%26_19_breadcrumbsCategoryId%3D0%26_19_breadcrumbsMessageId%3D0%26_19_searchCategoryId%3D0%26_19_searchCategoryIds%3D0%26_19_threadId%3D0%26_19_tabs1TabsScroll%3D%26_19_keywords%3Denlightenment

Longevity breathing by Bruce Frantzis for how ever long you feel like, then sit and watch the breath move as it wants to without you directing it (shamata) for some time, then do the inner smile. Superb way to start building a meditative practice.

Yeah it kinda was

That would be great

Bump

Lucky you! I often wish I had started with stuff like that at around your age (I am 31 now) because it would have helped immensely and because when you are younger you usually have a lot more time to devout to practice. I will try to explain things a bit. I am in no way an expert of these things in practice or theory. I am in no way advanced. I can`t really give you a good definition of chi or energy work from a Taoist perspective and certainly not from a western perspective but the following is a workable way to think about it as an aid for the mind untill you start experiencing things for yourself. Think about the endorphin rush you get after jogging, think about an orgasm and how it is experienced in the body, think about a strong feeling of love arround your heart area and how you have sometimes felt it spread throughout your body, think about an extreeme adrenalin rush. These four are usually the feelings people have had that most closely resmebles chi moving in your body. They are primarily experienced by people as energy except for the love feeling which is felt more as emotion but can also sometimes feel energy like especially when it spreads througout the body. After a yoga or qigong class you will (at least once you have gone a number of times) expereience an energy rush quite similar to the endorphins after jogging. Different but quite similar, usually it feels warm but it can also feel cold. The sensations will usually be felt very broadly and evenly distributed across your body. With more practice you will start to expereince stronger sensations along certain pathways in the body, along the meridians. For example you will feel much more energy in the spine and along the middle of your front body. Evnetually you will feel more and more subtle pathways and stronger sensations there. You will start to experience that the energy feels different depending on which pathway it is in. Along the spine it feels hotter, more active and fierce, along the front more calm and cool and emotional. The back is yang the front is yin. Now through deep relaxation and calming your mind chatter and subtly bringing your awareness of feeling to these sensations in the pathways, you will experience that bringing the mind to them changes the activity and that by subtle intending for the energy to move in certain ways it will (visualisation is sometimes used for this). You can then start to make the energy run faster or slower or wider etc. So what on earth is this energy stuff and the centrers and all? At the locations where the main seven chakras are located there are also glands of the endocrine system and giant nerve plexus`. Just like the adrenal glands produces adrenalin among a bunch of other stuff, so other glands produce hormones and whatnot that can be felt strongly as energy or as emotion. Why is love so often felt in the middle of the chest? Well that is where the thymus gland is and an associated nerve plexus. It can spread out but this is the center along with the physical heart. So with practice more and more of these glands and nerves are activated more strongly and slowly brought under control, either by certain exercises or with subtle intention. Felling these energies are usually very pleasurable, just like the endorphin rush just even better but it can also be very painful sometimes when stuff gets messed up. With this ability to control the galnds and the nervous system we want to mold it into its optimal state. That amongst other things means balancing the intensity of acitvity in the different centers so that none are too active or too underactive, we also wnat to generate more and mroe enrgy in total. This is what balancing chakras is about. With this extreemly crude explanation in mind just translate in your mind that chakras and meridians means roughly something like nervous system, synovial fluid, glands and such and that what we are working with is engineering these. Then just mostly think in terms of chakras and meridians and dan tiens because science is not up to explaining hwat is happening quite yet so thinking to much of this in western terms is kinda useless although interesting and only sometimes usefull The thing with male ejaculation is that when a man ejaculates he looses energy (you have noticed guys getting sleepy right? It is possibly for a man to have multiple huge whole body orgasms that lasts and lasts for as long as he wants and not ejaculating. If he has orgasms without ejaculating he will not feel tired, a sign of not loosing energy. When a man does this over several weeks he will notice his energy growing massively and this energy is very beneficial to energywork and meditation. This is a difficult practice to do right. Not just bypassing ejaculation which is a challenge but quite manageable but doing it the "right" way and learning to integrate this energy well. This energy can be very beneficial but can also make you unbalanced and manic. Trunks site and these threads will help your understanding: http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?showtopic=11493 http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?showtopic=9450&st=0#entry112980&highlight=karezza http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?showtopic=9421&st=20#entry112891&highlight=tantra+teacher Where to start? Some dietary stuff is good but don`t go overboard with this to begin with. The most important is to get started with some sort of energetic exercise and some sort of meditation. After a while htis will naturaly and spontainiously make you change your diet more and more because the deeper you go the more you will feel what is good for you and not and you will start to effortlessly eat more of what is right for you in particualr. This is an extreemly common experience amongst cultivators. So don`t sweat the food to much in the begining. Just basic good diet and then optimise it later. Some of what I have written in this post in another thread can be usefull for you: Using primordial qigong (Winns version for example) as the core qigong is a very good idea IMO. It is quite unique in that it sets of the whole core alchemical process in a 15-20 min form. It also blends heaven and earth energy and energy from all directions, it opens the orbit and works a lot on the central channel, it also really grounds you and gives you a lot of good energy. It seems that using an alchemical system of meditation for thetaobum pai would be almost impossible because that would require agreeing on what that system would be and such systems would usually require a lot of guidance. So the core meditation would have to be a stillness/emptiness type of meditation like zen or vipassana or taoist stillness meditation etc. Daniel Ingrams instructions in his free ebook and the suport on technique through thedharamoverground is sufficent to progress well with vipassana without a live teacher. I know there is also a zen guy (monk i think) who daily guides people without access to live teachers through the internett. I don`t remember his name just that he does this and was kicked out from e-sangha. Hi is Soto Zen I think. So if we presume that the core meditation will be one of those kinds of meditations and that there will be links to resources such as those mentioned to guide the person in that style of meditation then what is needed is a system of exercise, qigong, breathing, suporting meditation practices etc. that act as a physical and energetic base and suport for the meditation. Primordial qigong is superb for this because it sets of the whole alchemical process in just 15-20 min. What the form sets of will be nurtured further in the sitting meditation. If one has more time to practice one can practice it 4 times a day or maye more giving about an hour and 20 min of deep alchemical qigong on top of more general health directed stuff which should be more than sufficient. Several bums practice this form with great results and Dan Ferrera found it to be the most powerfull form after going through a bunch of systems and Winn also finds it more powerfull than any thing else he has tried. It can be learned from video without problems. If then primordial qigong provides the core alchemy together with stillness medtiation the rest of the physical practices should aim first and foremost to create correct alignment of the body and provide basic stretching as oposed to creating massive amounts of chi without doing much for the physical health per se. One possibility would be to make a few possible suggested combos of stuff from warior welness and sonnon and intuflow etc. and combine that with some gentle dao yin stretches. Another option would be some basic qigong sets combined with some dao yin stretches. The point of the qigongs would be mainly physical alignment though and learning to center in and move from the dan tien. Winn teaches to combines the inner smile with primordial qigong which one of the bums who did his workshop found very powerfull. Stigweard I think said he thought keeping a small smile and awareness of that smile 24/7 to be the key to alchemy. Maybe he would like to elaborate. As it is a toist meditation and very accessible for begginers and so easy to mix into everything and practice all day during other activities in breaks I think it could be a superb suporting meditation. It also has the advantage of being superb for the psyche. of smoothing out adverse effects of other pracitces, of alowing you to work on five element balance, of allowing you to work directly with each organ, gland, the intestines etc. or any localised block which is good to be able to do when you have a stillness meditation as your core meditation. The Orbit CD from springforest seems to get very good feedback not only from Drew so it could be used as the main oribt opening practice. Winns qigong for opening the orbit in hundred days could be another if someone has actually practiced it and finds it to be good. What would be a good guidline in terms of time spent on other practices before the orbit is opened or for signposts in the practice of the other stuff that show it is a good time to start working more specifically on the orbit. Primordial qigong works very well on the central channel but if one wants a very direct practice to add some form of altenrate nostril breathing or nine bottle breath could be used. 10 min of dan tien breathing still has my vote as a core practice. So primordial qigong, inner smile, stillness medtaiton, dan tien breathing, qigong/something else to provide alignement and correct movement from the dan tien and some dao yin would be my suggestion. If time alows then Zhan Zhuang could be added on top of that. As a suggestion for therapeutic things to lay a very good groundwork I would suggest cranio sacral therapy and structural integration acording to the anatomy trains principles and social engagement protocoll. That will get the whole bodies, and especially the spines, connective tissue in balance. Apparently saving you a couple of years time of adjustments in standing meditation etc in order to achieve the same. It also balances your chakras quite a lot, disolves a lot of tension and trauma, makes your body very well aligned and balances your fight of flight response. Chi nei tsang to sort out stuff in the belly and lower organs and karsai nei tsang if available to sort oout the genital are if these treatments are available. The book unwinding the belly is also very good to use for the same purpose. Doing these treatments early sorts out a lot of stuff, save you from a lot of pain and makes you advance much faster. Very good foundation. Just one trip to an acupuncturist to et your pulse taken and knowing the state of your organs could also be a very usefull suggestion in order to pinpoint organs to focus most on. The following books are very good: Jack Kornfield a path with heart. This is a spritual classic and it will help you avoid the pitfalls on the spirtual life and help you understand so much of what this is all about. The articles on Shinzen Youngs website (free) are some of the clearest written about what enlightenment is what mindfullness is what meditation is and aims for etc. His audio the science of enlightenment I believe is equally good but more in depth. Daniel Ingram has written a masterpiece about budhist meditation that is very useful for anyone practicing any type of meditation and with discussions very beneficial for anyone in spiritual life. If you want to get enlightened (not imortal of you belive in that) as fast as possible. Ingrams instructions and path seems to me to be the quickest one. He also has a precise map of the stages of Vipassana meditation and the jahan states (the deepest concetration states) that should be very illuminating for anyone to read. The site Biology of kundalini should explain energywork in scientific terms very well. PAth notes by Glen Morris is also excellent for all of this especially for understanding Kundalini. And it is a fun read. A wise heart by Jack kornfield. This is about buddhist psychology aplied to the western llife. It is more or less the same as Taoist or yogic psychology except for a few things. Reading this book is very helpfull in realy, realy understanding how stuff like non attatchment does not mean what most westerners think and what place desire has etc. This book could singlehandedly correct about half the problems people on the spiritual path in the west tend to bring themselves into. Read the plastic brain or any of the Daniel Goleman books about the mind and life meetings with the Dalai Lama to understand how meditation changes the brain and see some of the research that shows meditation leading to massive increases in happiness etc. Good luck I will try to write some more at a different time.

Shinzen Youngs Break through difficult emotions could help. He is a quality teacher

http://puarticles.blogspot.com/2008/01/secret-kino-spot-technique.html I am guessing these are two acupuncture points. Which one are they? Anyone know of a diagram that shows it? The description of the points themselves are a bit down in the text, the first part is about dance floor strategy etc.

Thanks Trunk and the others! I think the way to pinpoint the exact point would be that it is one that stimulates the clitoris. So if any girl would like to voluntair for science or any of the guys here with a girlfrirend want to try to find a new way of getting in the mood it seems that the only way to figure this out is to have the suspected locations stimulated on a girl or two to see what gives a response.

In meditation you actually have a lot meta "thinking"/awarenss not just the dropping of thinking.

As he was so young his build up of sexual energy without ejaculation would have been quite enormous. Araoused sexual energy amplifies emotions massively and just by itself a build up of lots of hot sexual energy not balanced by other practices will by itself sufice to make you quite maic. I have noticed this myself within just short periods of retention. So this could at least have been a very significant contributing factor. Pilates will help get energy down in a very physical way but it takes a lot of time. By teaching you to move from your dan tien it brings your awareness there without creating much chi. As such it is safe and good. But it needs to be practiced at least two preferably 3 or more times 60 min a week to realy work. There are also other physical grounding methods like doing loads of squats. Intuflow has a fairly grounding effect on me although it does not ground on the same level as a bunch of qigong stances meant for grounding would do. It also relaxes you A LOT and gives you very much energy but in a not so Chi type of way. As such it could be a safe and usefull tool for bipolar disorder. The whole beginer sequence which is all that is needed can be found on youtube. Deep belly breathing will get his energy down. It will also relax and center and energize him and harmonize his energy and build health. It has the risk of taking him a bit to deep and create too much energy like meditation could but should be much safer because of the grounding. Practice for 10 min at a time for example and you can evaluate how it works. Longevity Breathing By Bruce Frantzis has good instructions on this. Meat is grounding. Six healing sounds could cleanse him of bad emotions and energy, cool of his energy and strenghten positive emotions and balance out his holw element and emotional system without creathing much energy. It should be safe and balanced. The inner smile can do the same as healing sounds can but will bring more of the harmonising smiling energy. That should be profoundly balancing for both his down and up periods. It also has a specificly balancing effect on people with too much arroused sexual energy. This is because when the sexual energy is blended with heart energy it balances out and cools of. The inner smile awakens the heart and sends a loving heart energy to everywhere in his body. In most cases qigong, yoga and basic mindfulness, Zen, Vipassana etc. style meditations and stuff like belly breathing and alternate nostril breathing should be good for people with bipolar disorder. There are studies with people with loads of severe disorders benefitting and I have seen bipolar people claim lots of balance and bbenefit from it. This case might be a special case but at least with a good guide stuff should work out here also. Chunyi Lin and Jim Nance of Sptringforest qigong are great healers and so is Michale Lomax. They all do distance healing. Santiago Dobbles and Tao Semko are very good at helping people ground their energy and are also powerfull healers. They frequently work over the phone or skype and could tailor safe exercises for him to do to balance out and do distance healing. Seeing an acupunturist would be a good idea. Especially and elder Chineese one that also knows herbs well and especially if he/she also knows qigong. You could google mindfulness and bipolar disorder. Not aying it is were he should start (energy down first) but long term it shoudl be helpfull. Stomach massage is very good for cleansing emotions. Tactile touch therapy is profoundly balancing and will also contribute to cooling of the hot ching chi because it produces large amounts of oxytocin. I have found supergreens to be very good for health and also cooling and balancing to the energy and the psyche to a certain extent. Just don?t drink the recomneded 3-4 liters a day. One seems more balanced to me. Best of luck and report back if anything changes.

Could this be a spleen issue? As I understand the spleen is involved with overempathy and identifying to much with other peoples emotions but this might be something different as it involves picking up left over energies in empty rooms etc. Anyway equanimty should be important. Mindfulness (awareness/sensitiveity) is always coupled with and balanced by equanimity. Grounding should help as it helps in not getting pulled into stuff you don`t want. My meditation teacher said that he dealt with other peoples energies by just mindfully recognising that htese are not his energies. For me that helped a lot as I sort of merged them with my own. Now they flow more through me instead. KAPs psychic self defense should have some stuff to ward of bad energies.

I wouldn`t worry about this at all. If the penis does shrink because the sexual energy just turns itself of and the penis does not get its normal "stretching" through being filled with blood, all that will come back after a period once you return to normal mastrubation/sex patterns. And if they do not there are jelcking techniques that DO work and will make your penis at least 25% larger if you work at it for long enough so doN`t worry. I am going for a long time without ejaculation now and with stimulation only ocasionaly because I have to do it to restore health, memory and sex drive and help me recover from burnout. OTehrwise I wouldn`t bother as I am in the camp that think it is not all that important as long as you practice well and that eventually multiples without coming more tahn a couple of times a month is a good sollution ONCE the energy can be integrated well.

I am not sure if she actually means they concioulsy think about will he be stalking me at my home etc. but if he is an obsessive and needy freak that will not leave her alone tonight if she talks to him for even a couple of minutes and if turned down later on might send her dozens of text messages every day and, eventually, maybe stalk her for real. It is basicly just about the needy vibe.

For sure but what most people don`t think about is that if you use sexual fantasies that involve very loving heart centered sex and you touch yourself all over your body in a slow and loving way you get massive oxytocin boosts. Works wonders and it is about 1/3 about the pace and pressure of touch and 1/3 about intention and 1/3 about the fantasy. New School of erotic touch has a video about that type of masturbation.

Non, I can understand that you feel bitterness about the fact that a man with a superficial and arrogant cocky confidence will do much better with women than a polite and well intentioned man without any confidence. I can also understand that you get bitter thinking about how women does not NEED confidence to be able to get men (although it sure makes them more atractive to most and many would not date a woman without confidence there are still plenty that will). However, all you need is just a bare minimum of self ACEPTANCE and self confidence to be attractive to quite a large group of women. I that is coupled with other nice qualities such as being a gentleman, being kind, being charming and being fun and interesting. Please go to charismaarts.com and ask your questions there. You will find that they teach a form of pickup where you can still be yourself and where you do not have to come of as overly strong or superior or anything like that. They even actively flaunt negative qualities about themselves (without fear) to women they pick up to not come of as aproval seeking. Insecurities can be such a quality because if you come of as BRAVE in not trying to hide it that is attractive. Sure some level of confidence is key, but you do NOT need al that much. Most men actually get laid once in a while and almost all men get girlfirends but most men are not all that confident either in apearance or in reality. Sure if you want to be a player you will need a strong apearance of confidence but to get a nice sweet girl you don`t. YOu HAVE to GET OVER the fact that some of thses things are a bit unfair. An enormous aount of other stuff in life are more unfair and often unfair for women. This is actually a quite minor problem compared to what else one can get worked up about. There are also tons of people that has learned juggler method that started out as virgins and without ANY friends high up in their twenties and thirties. SOme bums have told you similar stories. Why are you any different. These people were seriously depressed. Actually you are better of because you practice cultivation stuff and kung fu that will help you a lot with your "inner game" and apearance and with having an attractive lifestyle in the long run. Actually I think you should start to emphasize towards yourself a couple of points. You are in COLLEGE. That is highly attractive to women. Women respond much better to people who take a higher education. You are inteligent and well read. WOmen respond very well to that. You practice a martial art. You also practice meditation and qigong and yoga. Women LOVE that. Because it shows you lead an active life and are not lazy but do more than you "need" and don`t just play playstation. They love the fact that you are interested in self development through these things. They love that you take care of your heatlh with it. They love that you have the sensitivity to be interested in such things. I seem to remember you have said that you do not look bad. That is also very important. You are a kind person with love and integrity. As long as you have the minimum level of confidence required that will also be sexualy attractive. Really all you need is some mental balance, some development of basic social skills and a little bit of confidence and you will get women. Once you do it will be quite easy for you to develop the ability to have multiple orgasms and practice tantric stuff because of your cultivation practice: that will blow their minds. You are not worse of than many who have used pickup arts to get the basic level of social skills and confidence needed and when that happens all of your good qualtiies and skills will come in and be to great use. You have complained a lot about the catch 22 of this situation because you are deprived of the touch, aproval, social interaction and sex that you feel would give you the confidence and skills needed to get those very same things. I understand that and that is a difficult situation for sure. However, tons of people have broken that exact Catch 22 before. Especially in the world of pickup huge numbers have done that exact thing. So your situation is not unbeatable at all. If you can learn to acept yourself and love yourself to a certain degree that will be enough to get the ball rolling. There are a couple of things that could help. Touch therapy/tactile stimulation therapy will boost your oxcytocin levels as much as you need them and that will help with all your problems. There has to be someone in Miami that does that kind of therapy. There are also much better alternatives than a regular escort. There are "tantric godesses" taht absolutely LOVE what they do for work and that can provide you with the physical contact and stimulation that you crave and can also train you in basic lovemaking skills. May of thses do not provide intercourse but many also do. There are also sexual surrogates that specialize in helping out and training people in your EXACT situation. They slowly counsel you through talking and when it feels ok for both, touching, whcih eventually escalate up till intercourse if you so wish. These are also people who are ok with and like what they do. The New School of erotic touch trains people in sexual massage also for providing a professional service. The people who run the organisation and those who take their courses realy belive in what they are doing and you would not hurt anyone in taking services from someone that they have trained and recomend. Send them an email or ask a question in their forum: http://www.eroticmassage.com/ I also suggest that you start with the inner smile meditation instead of some of the other stuff you practce. This is because it will do so much to boost your happiness/oxcytocin/lightheartedness/optimism/confidence/contentment etc. etc. all the things you need. And it will put a smile on your face. IT will be so usefull for achieving what you want to achieve with regards to scoial interaction. Start by just conciously making s small smile and feel arround the mouth and eyes untill you can feel an uplifting smiling energy. Then let it grow and expand and you take it from there (micahel IWnn has good instructions for it). As long as your mouth is physically shapped as a smile it will still start producing smilling energy no matter how miserable you are. It is pure physiology.

http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?/topic/9421-authentic-tantrictaoist-sexual-yoga-teachers/ Usefull advice in this one. I think breathing is key! Lots of belly breathing when unaroused to get very good control of your breathing. Use LIns teachnique instead. Read Trunks site!