you don't tolerate it, you help fix it. Tolerating intolerance is watching someone kill themselves in front of you without you telling them that they don't need to do it. There's no such thing as someone naturally born to only hurt and hurt; they lived their lives knowing and seeing nothing else and became a product of that. You're only hurting yourself if:
A ) you're allowing that member to flow negativity into you
B ) you don't fix the source rather than fight the outcome
You can't make that person change yourself, but you can help them out by showing what love is and what love means. If you were to just see all this bad stuff happen in front of you and you don't do anything to help stop it, then who's the bad guy? Negativity is healed with the positive, hate is healed with love. Love those who hate, and they'll start loving too. Stop torturing yourself by being a witness. Help end the issue.