Anoesjka

Hi fulfilled, I'm new here too. I hope your path takes you where you truly belong!

Thanks so much for posting this Dawg. I'm in this process, but haven't finished yet. It's a bit slower then with you, or maybe not. Sometimes my subconscious, my Animus, tells me what to do, for instance in a dream. But I have to pay great attention, because he talks in symbols and metaphors. The other day he showed me he had a window in his head and I had to study what was inside. But besides this holy marriage you talked about, I was also shown a marriage of three. I do not understand yet. Or maybe I do, it may be just real simple. You have given me confidence to continue on my path.

I would like to introduce my false self to you, as it seems everyone is attached to that. I'm Anoesjka, 48 years old, illustrator of profession, I'm owned by 5 cats that tend to increase (as do I, so that doesn't matter), I live in a farm house in the Netherlands. I've always been attracted to the spiritual side of life. I've been experimenting in my teens, but being too open, I ended up in a depression that lasted 5 years. Got into a relation and became a mother of a special child. Became enamoured with Zen and Buddhism in general and later on became a Rosicrucian. But that proved to be too much mumbo jumbo for me. Since then I've been figuring out my own path with help from dreams and people (and other beings?). It's a sort of alchemy, but in my experience, all paths are leading to the same mountain top. I've experienced short encounters with the divine and count my blessings for that. But I still have to learn to completely surrender and get rid of that "I" (that's so prominently present in this post) I'm here to learn from you people and if I can ever help someone else with an insight, I'd be glad to be of service. Anoesjka

Foucault's Pendulum - Eco A prayer for Owen Meany - Irving Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card Foundation - Asimov Job - Heinlein Amber - Zelazny Oh and don't forget Codex Seraphinianus by Serafini, although I doubt that you'd be able to read it.

I'm not that well educated on Vedanta, though I do use the technique of inquiry. Just as I do to clear the mind, or by just surrendering my egoistic being. These techniques bring about a bliss that I am overwhelmed by and can only recognize as the metaconsciousness that lies truly at the base of everything. How can that be a bad thing? I can't completely surrender to it yet, because I still have a fear of ceasing to exist somewhere.

Thanks, Chang. I will behave.

I guess she doesn't like dorks?