Yasjua

Ego wants to get rid of suffering, not itself. But ego is partial cause, partial victim of suffering. When ego blames itself it tries to destroy itself. Ego blames others and tries to change the world. Ego really cares about suffering and happiness, not destruction. Solution is not to destroy ego, but to understand how ego is a conglomerate of biological, social, mental and cosmic forces. With real understanding ego will no longer identify as localized entity that is independently responsible. Ramesh Balsekar says God does everything. Suffering stops when ego recognizes that the whole moves the whole and the parts are only apparently independent. Ego gives responsibility up to God and no longer gets upset over pain and pleasure in the same way. That's my understanding.

I had an interesting experience this morning. I slept a most satisfying sleep, feeling fully rested around 4am after 3 hours of sleep. I was sleeping next to my ex after a couple months of sleeping separately, so I wasn't ready to stop relishing the feeling and went back to sleep. I woke up in the morning with a feeling of heaviness in my arms and legs. Not a tired heaviness, but a fullness that had weight to it. This fullness felt very satisfying and real. I reached over and touched my ex and felt the energy drain slightly as I touched her. This happens a lot, and I've basically taken feeling depleted around others as a given in life, but that's when something bizarre happened: when I removed my hand the energy immediately filled back up, as if there was a reservoir of it built up in my torso or around my shoulders and new energy poured down into my arms. In contrast with this experience I recognized that I normally do not feel refilled immediately after being "drained" around others and have acclimated to feeling relatively depleted my whole life. I also realized that my heart (and not just my limbs) goes through a similar process that is closely connected with my presence and mentality in daily life. Do others get "drained" around others? And why might I have felt refilled so spontaneously this morning?

Fantastic and simple. thank you.

That makes a lot of sense! You know, in terms of the psycho-dynamic influence, I was taught at a very early age that I was too rough with others. It may be that I compensate for this early lesson by exaggerating Yin when I'm around others.

This has probably been stated, but there are a variety of contradictory perspectives on this issue and many of them are simultaneously correct. In my conception of consciousness, reality and the laws or principles that govern our being are modified according to the resonance of the consciousness. There are states of being that are far outside the scope of the ordinary and in some of them the free agent has been transcended, and in others the free agent has been swallowed into some dark psychological and chemical processes. All models are simplifications and necessarily limited, but in this model free will definitely exists and is a necessary part of evolution. For the most part, I think human behavior is guided by nature, but not governed by it. We have proclivities of behavior that are based on natural evolution. If I were raised in the woods and never given sexual education, and met a woodland lady in my adult years, we would probably put 2 and 2 together due to how we're wired to understand and perceive reality. There is a part of us that is animal and it's a much larger part of us than we generally acknowledge. Getting in touch with this animal self is incredibly empowering as our animal self is simply way better at doing a lot of things, like having sex, shaking off a cold, dancing, traversing natural landscapes and appreciating rhythmic music, among other things. Our agency comes in as these archetypes of nature's governance resonates in our uniquely configured nervous systems. From a certain perspective, it could be said that the nervous system and the brain do everything, and that there is no person, but that's a state of consciousness to be experienced, not an absolute truth to be stated intellectually. For most people, I assume, myself included, agency blends artfully into the tendencies of the subconscious mind and body.

I've tried to reinterpret the "court of Wei" with wider eyes. Perhaps what keeps me coming back to the idea is not the pull of medicine per se, but the more general background hypnosis of society and economy, which I've tried to shake many times, but have never fully been able to discard outside of meditation. In samadhi all is profoundly well. The planet amounts to luscious, beautiful curvature and life force animation, and the presence of self-interest vanishes, but outside meditation, as the senses reactive the grooves of conditioning, I inevitably find myself trying to find a place in the world. Thus, I would conclude that the pull of society is still too strong to resist, and I should indeed move toward a career, if not a particular one. A couple of people have helped me shake this conditioning a few times in my life, but it comes back and has a subtle but highly influential background effect on my thought and perception processes.

I've never had success with OBE or astral travel. I imagine, however, that if your psyche and body are going through trauma and grief it's probably not in your best interest to start leaving them behind. I think the more you get into your body after a breakup, the smoother the healing process will potentially go. I know I developed an excessive interest in "otherworldly" and drug-related states after my first separation, and it definitely did not help. In fact, made things far worse in the long-run. Just something to consider.

What might the "court of Wei" represent in our lives, and when does one know to extinguish a "phase of Qi," versus following it? It's relatively easy for me to relinquish my attraction to the things that pull on me, and I feel that total and utter relinquishment of motivation and intention are the highest and most nourishing good for my spirit, but I sense that I am relatively alone in this perspective, so it's difficult to maintain it. As a result, opportunities come along, passions arise, interests build (for me it's graduate school to learn Chinese medicine, Naturopathic medicine, or both). In regards to the latter, my interest in medical science has created a stream of intention that leads into a convoluted, expensive and arduous path into naturopathy. I see how here my "body is by the river" and my heart is at the "court of Wei," and with this sagely advice I find it tremendously easy to let go of the desire to go to the court of Wei. But am I to relinquish all interest in developing a career, of learning new things? Would going to Chinese medicine school still be a case of going to the court of Wei? How do I tell the difference between a restless "phase of Qi" that can be overcome and let go of, versus one that is in the highest interest? Are all movements to be relinquished? I've had a very hard time understanding whether it's wise or not to abandon all relative pursuits and rest indolently with my head at the fountain of the infinite.

This is so helpful for me to read. Thank you.

What's your age? Where do you live? How is the weather? How do you define low libido? Natural medicines (eggs in your case) tend to work seasonally. Marijuana does drain libido and everyone responds differently. Half-life is raw science. Your body-brain is a holistic constellation of influences. I took adaptogens for fatigue in the winter last year. They only work in winter for me. There are lots of herbs and teas that increase libido, but without expert advice you won't know if you're treating symptoms or causes. Best of luck to you.

I haven't been around long enough to know if you play forum games here, but I thought this would be interesting. The idea is to perform some basic research on the person above you (perhaps by clicking their profile and looking at their 5 most recent posts) and find a new icon that represents and synergizes positively with their personality. You can only respond *once,* so choose carefully who you'd like to bestow with a new image. If you want to play hard-mode, you have to change your image to the recommendation. In easy-mode you can decline and just participate for fun. Feel free to explain your choice of art. My hope is that this will create a feeling of freshness on the forum to kick off the new year.

Time and experience acclimate you to the diverse realities of life. You'll oscillate between coping mechanisms and genuine breakthroughs that reduce the stress and seriousness of it all.

Thank you all very much. I've received invaluable perspective from the members of this forum.

I had a positive experience today after meditating and talking to her about my beliefs. This is a little strange, so follow if you want to. I saw feminism as an etheric craft. I saw how my ex-partner was aboard this mental warship feeling that it protected her, gave her back the value her sexist father took away from her, and connected her to others with whom to discuss the struggles against patriarchy with. I saw how feminism could benefit from some grounding. I invited her to value herself with her feet on the ground. To appreciate the inherent value in everything and everyone rooted on this planet. I saw her value and how she didn't have to fight for it or shroud herself in feminist philosophy to attain it. I invited her off of the ship, to come to Earth, to live on this beautiful harmonious sphere and not dissociate into some vehicle for her self-worth and purpose. I could sense the truth. I come from a background of having boarded an ether ship myself. The vehicle of spirituality was my way of leaving the planet, trying to attain self-value, to "fight the system," to overcome oppression. I was on that ride for a few years, and was actually pretty deeply involved in it at her age (2 years younger), so I understand. We don't all know that value is inherent, not earned, and that it can't be taken away, and that when it is, it's based on the illusion of hierarchies. I feel good about the progress we made today.

When I was studying Nisargadatta I came close to many of these things. Somehow my unmanifest self became my primary reference point. I knew that I: 1) Could not be harmed by anything. Aggression, violence, accidents, all potential for physical illness, etc. turned into farts in the wind. I couldn't be touched by these things. 2) Had no needs. Food, water, sunlight, oxygen, a planet to live on, a home, none pertained to me. 3) Created and bloomed in everything, particularly in nature. I perceived flowers, rain, sunlight, beautiful things as my creations. I saw the effortless effort with which I created things over timeless ever-present eons. 4) Could and would manifest anything that was needed at the right time. I put no particular effort into anything and everything came. I was not like a master searching for my lost dog. However, I... 1) Was still treated as an individual by others and this created tension in my practice. 2) Was impressionable and insecure. Social situations caused anxiety for me. 3) Needed daily stabilization through meditation. 4) Was putting a tremendous amount of thought and effort and reading into maintaining an elevated state of consciousness. Today I feel that a balanced existence is one in which one foot is in the world and one out. This sense-oriented consciousness requires a planet with water and oxygen and plant life and sunlight and food and all that jazz, so I'm content with that. I coined the term "terrestrial consciousness" to refer to what we experience on this planet. Sometimes I see the planet from afar in my mind, and I understand that this consciousness IS the sustained harmony of sun energy, movement, absorption and sharing of energy through death, digestion, etc. etc., and that alone brings me into a state of awe and appreciation. But the "needs" of the terrestrial consciousness are kind of hilarious at times, because the whole thing seems to be without purpose.I think the identification that arises in the heart of the consciousness, with the name and sensations of the body, merits a heart-pounding, gut-wrenching, infinite and pitiful laughter. It truly is a terrible and painful position to find ourselves in, thinking we have somehow been squeezed exclusively into this tiny, fragile, suffering body, and exist in any way "independently" of the holistic infinite moving cause and condition and character of all existence. As I see it, the terrestrial body and its sense organs are not myself, nor is the planet, solar system, universe, or subtle space in which it manifests, but somehow it also is myself. They are all a part of one another. I don't know. It doesn't translate well into language. We have based our language on the premises of localization, and this is a very delocalized conception of interaction and causality. This is probably not a whole perspective either. I think the alternation of insufferable agony and confusion, and the growth of love and joy and wisdom within the local body must indicate some importance to this embodiment stuff, and I find that those who refuse to be embodied come off as a bit delusional for this reason. There's a balance. Closest I've come to understanding why any of this happens is in Sufi cosmology and Zoroastrian esoteric texts on the structure and process of the soul's journey.

Huge influence. Empathize too much with the wrong partner, someone who's on a different path than you, and you'll find yourself repeatedly lost in the woods, drained, unbalanced, off purpose. Find the right person, maintain balance, flow into love, possibilities are endless and orgasmic. edit; for emphasis on HUGE influence

This is good. Thank you. Yes. I feel that if too much karma is left not dealt with there is an inevitable descent back into personal consciousness to resume participation in the narrative of self. For me the personal consciousness became the object of meditation and the content of the narrative lost its magnetism. There was no longer much of an "I" in the events, just an impersonal stream of events unpopulated by a belief in doers. In a passive way, the consciousness contemplated the consciousness. Objects and obstacles disappeared. Things vanished and became fields of universal happening. The personal laws of cause-effect crumbled and were replaced by a holism that moved and helped further unwinding. Eventually a different critical mass was reached. A sickness took over and the personal consciousness found food with which to grow strong again. The narrative resumed with myself at the center as the thinker, strategizer, doer, etc. I saw this happening and agreed with myself that a deeper integration and knowledge of the world was necessary. I had cast off the story before tying up important loose ends. Now I'm just tangled in all the loose ends and realizing there really is no tying things up without total courage, which I lack.

Shapes shift, light and shadows alternate, facades appear and disappear as Love plays the masquerade of hearts and souls, lips and fingers, forms and faces. From Her oceanic depths a flowing dream of waves arises in Love’s disguises born of water. Still, as bedazzling as Love’s masks may be, we won’t stop at any liquid image – we’ll go further. When our desire becomes as urgent as that of a drowning man gasping for air, we will become available for Love’s true revelation, which is not at all what any might imagine, believe, hope, or even fear. Until then, Love is mostly an empty word for those who are still deaf to the transmission emanating from the depths of their own Heart’s yearning. Most who come this way stop at the Image, worshipping an Icon, carved by conditions, sanded by time, polished by devotion to a yet tyrant mind. All the while, Love’s arrow buries itself deeper, burrowing further, until, in the abundance of graces, Love recognizes Itself in our smiling faces! Just so, my Pearl, tonight let’s get fetal with each other; let’s curl up in that wooing womb of emptiness, wound together in the wild wonder of our loving, afloat in the amniotic fluids of Love’s supremely cuddly satisfaction, dizzy in the vernal perfume of our unborn bliss, the simplicity of the blessed revelation that we are This, our dharma of desire flowering into letting go of what’s gone, gone beyond any letting go of whatever never was, just rolling in the gone-ness of non-getting, grasping for nothing, clinging to same, just smiling that smile we smile when you see me, I see you, and only Love is Seeing, being Seen, loving . . . See — Love is the Midwife of our Delight, attending this Mystery of innocent Light! Yes, Love is the cause and result of Love, Mother of the radiant Children of Love, the conception, womb, and labor of Love, and there is nothing in the beautiful Body of Love that is not the perfect expression of Love. All form is but the dress of Love, the wondrous random design of Love, though seeking it only postpones true Love. When we die to that search we arise in Love; when we empty ourselves we are filled by Love! All glory, praise, and thanks to Love – this is our song and it’s sung by Love!

A good friend of mine has been in medical school for the past three or four years and is training to become a surgeon. We often discuss our differences in opinion when we get together and I've learned to embrace the contradictions in our perspectives - I consider them balancing. It used to be that I couldn't hold up my perspective, mostly on an emotional level, under his rigorous scrutiny. He's a very intense character with a genuinely staggering mental powerhouse at his disposal (or vice versa). He's also emotionally numb to the degree that I don't think he has access to certain vital emotional and spiritual resources/experiences that have shaped my own mind and thinking. He's had very aggressive psychological behavior in the distant past that bordered on sadism, and I think he still has that proclivity, but abstains from indulging in it. Now I've come to a solid appreciation for his craft and for the work of scientists and medical practitioners everywhere. If you've read my posts, you know that I'm extremely interested and supportive of science, particularly study of the nervous system and of organic chemistry, although I don't fully appreciate or approve of their clinical applications. He knows this and is in agreement to some degree. This evening's topic of discussion was naturopathy, as I'm considering a dual-major in Chinese medicine and naturopathy this upcoming year. My argument, more or less, was that a naturopath is well-educated in western anatomical, biochemical and allopathic perspectives, but chooses to utilize "natural" medicine to promote health and healing. I openly embraced the limitations of this medicine, agreed that some naturopaths try to overstep their boundaries and training, and that it was important for there to be open communication between NDs and MDs, so that each professional could manage health and disease within the scope of their practice. I expressed my own goals clearly: to educate people and get them interested in their own health, and to treat what I am trained to treat using the same principles conventional medicine uses: give the patient what is proven to work and cross my fingers. But his skepticism and intense criticism of naturopathic medicine astounded me, as I thought this was an increasingly outdated perspective - in fact, I thought that just about any divisive or insular attitude was becoming unpopular among educated medical professionals. After all, it seems political to me. Why create division where there could be partnership? But to him it's a cold, harsh reality, that Western medical research has more or less obliterated any credibility naturopathy or other alternative medicine has to offer. Alternative medicine, he says, is really no more effective than placebo, and that practitioners are more or less menaces to public health, since they practice inferior medicine. Now, I share his skepticism toward things like homeopathy and some of the claims of hydrotherapy, but using herbs to treat illness seems extremely scientific to me, given that medicinal plants are highly bioactive and have been used successfully (meaning it has helped people, not that it has necessarily been clinically approved) for thousands of years. I'll add that I've given up entirely on trying to explain acupuncture to an MD like him, as I increasingly think they don't even deal with the same system... at all. But naturopathy... I figured we could come to some basis for agreement there. I offered him the fact that naturopaths have more time to spend with patients, and hence a better opportunity to educate. I talked about blood and urine tests to determine nutrient and mineral deficiencies. I talked about the importance of diet and lifestyle. And I talked about the common interest of all medical professionals: to be very very well-educated and to help patients. He talked repeatedly about cardiovascular health, heart problems, cancer, and diabetes, all of which he claims are the "real" problems (is this true? beats me... he's seen more than I have), and that naturopathy fails in dealing with any of these. He says most of the patients he's seen either need surgery (which of course naturopathy and acupuncture don't really do), have cancer, diabetes, or serious heart health issues. He also doubts that naturopaths are trained adequately to recognize serious medical conditions when faced with them. He included pancreatic cancer and other conditions I didn't recognize, and expressed his doubts as to the alternative medicine community's capacity to treat, let alone recognize these conditions. I think his perspective is valid in that someone who has taken such poor care of themselves as to develop intense obesity and critical heart health issues, is possibly outside the scope of a naturopath's power to heal. After all, the idea is to help the body heal itself, and if the body is wrecked already, there probably needs to be a more acute method of intervention to prevent an impending health-related death (thin the blood, unclog the arteries, and some other things that pharmaceuticals do incredibly well with minimal risk and low toxicity). So I agreed with him on many points... But, I think naturopaths have a place and it's not an inferior position to the work of MDs. I think it fills a very vital and necessary niche in healthcare. Anyway, we both got exhausted from talking and stopped. I decided to do some more research on the internet about the efficacy of naturopathy from a conventional medicine perspective, and I'm genuinely surprised to find that there are some intensely negative perspectives on its efficacy and value to human civilization. Honestly, it often reads like passionate political banter, but I keep wondering... with all the work conventional medical researchers go through to go about validating the efficacy of their own medicine, how could they be wrong? I genuinely respect them and am confused now. My uncle is a research chemist and says a single pharmaceutical takes on average, between 12 to 18 years to develop, perfect, and research, and that even with all this work, many pharmaceuticals never make it out of the laboratory, because they're simply not reliable enough to merit marketing or using on general public. So... I guess my question is, what might be going on here? Is there something psychological, emotional, spiritual or political going on in his mind, that distorts his perspective? Or is possible that he's right, and that many alternative medicines are bogus? I want to say that I genuinely don't believe in divisive or extremist ideology of any sort. I don't really want a conventional answer to this question, such as "western doctors are brainwashed," or whatever else. I want to work with MDs and DOs and chiropractors etc., not insulate myself from them. I consider them experts and future colleagues that I hope to develop professional and personal relationships with. I'd like to think we can learn from each other, and that our perspectives and techniques for healing the human body will change as we all become better educated, more ethical, and wiser in our thoughts and knowledge. I'd like to believe that my perspective is not naive, and I feel mature in holding space for both our perspectives calmly and equally, but I am definitely confused. I'm guessing many of you have dealt with similar friends, colleagues, etc. Opinions, guesses, perspectives are appreciated.

You probably want to believe this because it fits with your model and expectation of spiritual growth. But I really don't think it's your actual experience. I gather this from your strong identification with your mind, which comes through clearly in your posts. There's no use trying to shed the body with the mind, they're the same thing. You should probably embrace the body instead of trying to cast if off prematurely. I could be wrong though.

It takes a very sophisticated kind of thought that I can't master, and am not too interested in mastering, to understand freemason theory and symbolism. I have a friend who - in his well-developed mind - sees the necessary connections between music, art, astrology, numerology, historical events, tarot, geometry, mathematics, etc. to be able to decode the symbolism and structure and meaning of such secret societies as the freemasons, and the influence their teachings exerted or channeled through various persons. I think it takes a very fluid mind that can form many aberrant connections to really get at what's going on in traditions like these. The conspiracy crap seems shamelessly stupid in its simplicity.

IMHO: 1) You probably can't visualize or conceptualize $1,000,000. 2) The Universe does not conspire to create waste and excess. $1mil in the wrong hands would not be spiritually beneficial. 3) A lot of manifestations are not quantifiable. You can manifest abundance without a penny in your pocket.

On the contrary, I think using the Law of Attraction is one of the most difficult things for the human mind to achieve. I believe the mind needs to be very detached, free of fixations, and extremely open to intuitive signals and reflections of the manifesting mind in the environment. One needs courage, faith, acute observational skills, and an unimpeded creative curiosity to see real results. It's very hard to give up control, just as it's very hard to maintain control - both are unnatural to us in different ways, but in our society giving up control is easily more difficult. I can attest that in a very high and subtle vibration the law of attraction worked powerfully and reliably for a year of my life, creating endless synchronicities, to the point where my mind and events in the environment synced in totally astounding ways. It ceased to exist when I turned to bar hopping, drinking, bacon-eating, and hanging out with low vibe characters.

I'm on "break" from just about everything for a few months and have been staying at my dad's, spending a significant amount of time in the basement (a living-room type area), where I spend a lot of time on the internet. I also sleep in this room, as it's quite large. There's a few sofas, a bed on the floor, a television with a blanket thrown over it, and a table where I'm sitting now with the computer. It's cold out and in a pretty dull suburban city, so the only time I get out is to grocery shop or visit a friend once or twice a week. I did spruce the place up a bit with some decorations, plant life, artwork, etc. but I have started feeling more and more that the space (perhaps it's just my consciousness) is becoming negative, and I feel the need to protect myself in the evenings as I feel negative frequencies in the air. I get to bed later and later every night and wake up sometime in the afternoon. I haven't had habits like this since the last time I lived here. I don't have any moral or super-ego qualms with a few months of laziness, but I do take the negative energy that's building up somewhat seriously. Is there anything I can do to help keep the space pure? I feel like there's a feedback loop developing between negligent habits and the energy of the space I'm in (and again, perhaps the space is actually just my consciousness). So, what can I do to clarify the energy?

Feel free to share details in comments, and let me know if additional options are needed to accommodate you.