Yasjua

I really wish someone had explained this to me years ago when I first started meditating. I jumped right in as a 19 year old, meditating about 12 hours a day, to and from class, doing counting, thought-observation and negation, breathwork, and striving for lucid dreams in the evenings. I moved into a monastery within 8 months of starting meditation. A lot of things clicked very rapidly and intuitively for me regarding the nature of thought, identity, etc. But I had no idea what was happening with the pressure between the eyebrows. It would keep me up at night, disturbed my psyche pretty deeply, and was almost always present, especially if I was doing any kind of meditation. Anyway, the condition got so bad I switched to non-dual philosophy and stopped practicing formal meditation, preferring just to blow my awareness open over and over and keep my attention the hell away from my physical body or anything going on near it. I'm still terrified of formal meditation because of how bizarre I felt carrying that sensation around in my head everywhere and not being able to focus on or relate to anything external.

Insectopedia - an anthropologist's very interesting and creative discussion of how humans and insects live in parallel and interconnected universes, but hardly ever notice one another. Seeds of Consciousness - I like to keep Nisargadatta near me. It's an outdated habit, I haven't read much of him in the past year and a half. Real Magic - Apparently a little known book by Wayne Dyer... it's an older book, and I feel he's still in a discovery and wonder phase himself. I think his more recent books are a little too market-y. Mahmoud Farschian's book of miniature paintings - Beautiful artwork by a master artist Radical Awakening - A very interesting interview with Stephen Jourdain by Gilles Farcet The Book of Awakening - Anadi came along in my life about 4 years ago. He's a pretty humorless guy, so I don't deal much with him anymore, but he's got some very interesting insight into how meditation works.

Really nice video. I'd be unsurprised if he's a member here.

During periods of very intense awakeness over the past few years, I've found myself thinking and feeling, "nothing is needed, nothing is wanted, life is no more significant than death, and I don't need to exist for any reason." My perception told me that eating food is just the habit of enforcing the psychological survival-sense/instinct. My mind has grown fond of science and I really value the effect of food on the body, and I have an immense respect for the complexity of health and nutrition. But in that intense brightness that sometimes happens when my practice is strong, there is no need for health, nutrition, survival, or well-being. Food loses its psychological function and becomes nothing but a beautiful and interesting object, but bares no relationship to "I" whatsoever. Anyone find any of this relatable?

This site is beautiful.

I had a dream this morning - long after it ended I stayed in bed, half-asleep, worrying, strategizing, reviewing, and contemplating the dream, as if it were real. Waking life is very similar in that the events I've experienced have conditioned the way I relate to 'everyday phenomena' - from the walls surrounding me, to the food in the kitchen, and other objects I regularly encounter and interact with. I believe there are 'situations' that need dealing with and that these situations have more reality than, say, the apple on the table, and the moon and sky to which the apple is connected. It's like I'm mulling over a dream I've been having since I was four years old - the dream of a self possessed by problems, insecurities, and constant dangers. But the everyday phenomena I regard as secondary to my personal drama turn out to be the primary and singular reality, the whole thing is a meditation, your home, your grass, the texture of the clothing you touch, the warmth of your towel, the awe represented by the moon, the grandeur of the ocean waves, the ignorance that greets you in every face. The mulling process, the habituation to phenomena, these are synonymous with laying in bed, done with a dream, but still thinking about it as if it's something real to worry about. You're waiting to wake up, but there's no such thing, really. The dream is always over. There's a persistent reification of our old dreams that takes the form of thought. Don't believe that you have problems that need mulling over and solving. \\You're in reality already, the destination is reached, tap into it through beauty. Beauty is very ordinary. I guess this is sort of a heart-recognition.

I lived very freely and separately from the concepts of work and money for a while. I deliberately ignored financial responsibilities and focused on a spiritually trusting attitude. Every time I was out of dough, I'd acquire some totally random inheritance. Once I had $4.00 left in my bank account and I woke up the next day with $1,504.00 --- cause of miracle? A grant someone had "forgotten" to give me six months prior. Or in other cases I'd be given things I needed at more affordable rates, like a new place to rent, or an offer from a relative to travel with them. In any case, I got a little bit bored of manifesting miracles and decided I wanted to exert some personal effort and control into circumstances, so my mind turned toward careers. I haven't found one, but I think the prospect of working deeply and professionally in some topic and gaining expertise sounds interesting to me.

I'm just curious if you work for a living, and if so, what it is you do. I'm not pressuring anyone to work, lol.

They have totally different effects on me. Sex primarily affects my feeling of connection to my partner. Masturbation seems to chill my nervous system out. I guess sex feels more hormonal and spiritual to me. I end every masturbation session pondering the relaxing sensations in my body, particularly my heart area and my legs.

For the record, I spend very little of my year working and appreciate the Fuller quote you included. I personally alternate between short periods of work and longer periods of self-education. I usually spend winters at my dad's place doing research, playing with technology, learning about medicine, making music, writing, and learning new recipes. I travel a few months of the year, and spend about six months a year in cities I'm fond of like Berkeley, Denver, Taos, Chicago and Portland. While I don't see anything particularly wrong with my lifestyle, I am interested in a 'livelihood' in which I can become more knowledgable and experienced. I don't see how a poll can avoid pigeon-holing. The "/" does not represent "and," so you can check the first box if you want and not get defensive about it. I'll just assume you don't fall into the "don't know what I'm doing" category.

Tens of thousands of species do natural fasting due to limited resources, extreme weather conditions, and interspecies competition. I find it inspiring to join the ranks of my more highly evolved animal brethren in a fast from time to time

When I'm angry with someone I realize I'm cultivating a negative state. I take something I unnecessarily value (like money) and buy something for the person I'm angry with to simultaneously counteract anger, greed, and delusion.

Unless you're the Buddha, stream-entry is a borrowed concept, and probably one that is distorted through the lens of assumptions you've constructed or absorbed. I'm generally aversive to conducting myself on the hypotheses and theories of others. I'm not sure if you're just sharing here, seeking engagement on this topic, or looking to test your path against the experiences of others. In any case, I'll share what I can from my own experiences. I was present at Liberation Unleashed's conception, and nine months prior I was a very active member in the community that preceded and fathered the creation of LU. I think it's somewhat important to know that many of the original members of Ruthless Truth (the father organization) including its founder, Ciaran Healey, eventually disbanded and denounced the induction of the no-self realization through RT's methods. There's an important distinction that Liberation Unleashed made in its approach, in that it was founded not by an egomaniacal philosopher with a God/Saviour complex, but two very down-to-earth women (Elena and Ilona), who had cultivated themselves spiritually for many years prior to arriving at Ruthless Truth. I know that Elena practiced (and still practices) Vipassana for 20+ years before realizing no-self. In her case and in several other people, the effect on this inquiry was profound, transformational, and permanent in its effects. But I think it's very important to understand that the majority of people who succeed in this inquiry do not experience the same permanence or profundity as others. I know because I experienced the no-self shift, and facilitated this awakening in six others, all of whom I later became very close friends with. None of us really subscribe to the belief that this insight or realization is enlightenment or essential to enlightenment. Many people who graduated from this school of thought turned into broken-records, haunting everyone on Facebook, calling everyone out for using the word "I" in their statements and thoughts, even though there isn't one. The scale of confusion and misunderstanding that ensued from this movement cannot be understated. As for confidence: In my opinion, confidence is an important quality, which, as Bearded Dragon just pointed out, facilitates an ease of being. I personally experience confidence as having a magnetic effect on whatever it is that I want. I expect the things that I want to come easily to me and that generally works for me. I find it to be highly effective in conjunction with my interpretation of the law of attraction, which I use to cultivate states of being, and not to attain/obtain material or spiritual objects or states. In terms of 'practice' (although I don't use that word to describe what I do), I dwell confidently in the knowledge that enlightenment pervades me and the Universe, I align myself with that knowledge, and I receive it's benefits however they come. I've been liking Wilber's model of the quadrants again lately. The interest in the thinker/thought dichotomy and the action/agent dichotomy is very much a top-left quadrant thought process. I've shifted quite a lot from thinking that this recognition is profoundly and utterly essential, to a recognition that it's simply important, but that there's far more to life than "realizing shit."

I agree. Discovering the power of neurotransmitter balance was in itself a sort of awakening for me. I had chronic issues with fatigue, self-consciousness, and mild personality dysfunction that years of psychotherapy and meditation had almost no effect on. I started experimenting with natural and synthetic chemicals and discovered that supplementing my Acetylcholine and GABA levels, and regulating activity at my dopamine receptors straightened those issues out almost instantaneously. As someone who shunned science for a long time, this came as a very welcome reality check. Spirituality in harmony with an education in modern biochemistry has worked wonders for me.

To OP - I'm just curious, how did you form a connection between Serrapeptase and your lower dantian?

L-theanine is truly an amazing chemical compound. I take 50-100mg 1 - 2 times per day as a bulk powder. I'm more of a coffee drinker and supplementing l-theanine completely eliminates jitters, heart-rate fluctuation, blood vessel dilation, mania and the feeling of 'crashing.' It's a well studied compound and is now known as a neuroprotective amino acid with mood-elevating and anxiolytic effects. It's found mainly in two of my favorite substances in the world - fungi and green tea. I've been trying to find out more about the positive effect masturbation seems to have on my CNS, so I'm gonna check in again to see if I can learn more from other members.

Why did the cosmos become aware of itself and why do we experience anything at all? What is the point of consciousness? Is it possible to deny the existence of consciousness? Is consciousness itself (the idea - since that's all we can talk about) something like a phantom limb of the mind? Is it a mental concept that gives the mind a sense of autonomy, entityhood, and independence? I look forward to hearing your answers and questions. Please don't regurgitate content - words and concepts - that you've strung together into "knowledge" in your memory. The answer must exist NOW if it is to exist at all, not in what Babajimbe said in your imagination of 2,000 years ago.

Here's an excellent thread I found on TED. People contemplating the same thing: http://www.ted.com/conversations/4082/where_do_you_think_consciousne.html

In my opinion consciousness is neither personal nor universal, as both of these are also merely concepts, so I threw that debate into the trash. I also do not believe that consciousness is permanent or eternal, because this is a sort of mental idolatry and masturbation. Eternal or Universal consciousness is a lofty concept and a one-way ticket down the cul-de-sac of mysticism. The personal version doesn't work either, because - let's face it, there's no way in hell a "person" has consciousness. That would imply ownership of existence, and that's one of the most utterly insane concepts out there. It would mean the work the cosmos has done to create such a thing as itself can be commandeered by some petty, flawed, changing psychological apparition. That body-mind mechanisms behave as persons is the most accurate assessment I can make. And yet, that fact leaves me surprisingly cold. When I was seeking enlightenment, recognizing the absence of a personal entity struck me as utterly profound. It now strikes me as utterly important, but by no means signifying the end of human development or understanding. It is important that people recognize this fact, because it will lead to further evolution of the human race, it will free the mind, free society, free of the burdens and stupidities of civilization. But by no means is that the ideal to shoot for. That's the equivalent of seeking enlightenment. It should be visualized and contemplated as a possibility, not as a hope or a goal. My thoughts have changed so much since my id quieted down. The goal-orientation and seeking have utterly given way to rationality. It might be a loop, it could be a sort of binary - some people seek "freedom," or the ideal of enlightenment, some might seek "understanding," and choose not to content themselves fully on enlightenment, but to use it as a spring board to revolution and advancement and well-being on a grand scale. So if consciousness doesn't exist, what does it imply for humanity's development? I am asking about this in very realistic and practical terms. What is humanity as a whole up to right now (fighting wars, curing diseases, striving toward technological and cultural advancement and constantly fucking up due to qualities like ignorance, apathy, and ego), and what happens to science, society, spirituality and civilization as a whole if consciousness is indisputably recognized to be a thought-form, as I suspect it might be? I find that to be a fascinating visualization exercise, something I can barely wrap my head around. Here's what I think. We want to think that consciousness is an indisputable fact. I currently speculate that it's a sort of image (concept) or apparition that holds all other appearances and apparitions in place. It is like, "yes I can see that my thought of the apple is not the apple, it's an image in my inner cavern based on body-brain memory," and I can also see that the taste is not the apple, but a characteristic, a quality that explodes out of the apple when it is known by the tongue," or I can see the apple, which is a sensory perception that is derived from the eyes, and is known by "me," the cavern and its knower ("I know). But the inner cavern, consciousness, is also an image - it's the room in which all the images hang, but since it's regarded as being "me," implicating that I am in and part of the show of existence (Nisargadatta constantly denied this, remember?), I don't question it or consider the possibility that it's something like a Master-image (hence the metaphor and archetypal search for the master or for mastery). Are you following? Why do we seek Mastery? We are looking for the Master-image, which happens to be the ideation of consciousness. I'm kind of just streaming with this idea, haven't really thought like this before. What I'm feeling is that the cosmos may not abide by anything we consider 'reasonable' and yet is utterly transcendent in its behavior and being of anything conceived of as 'unreasonable' either. In other words, the mind can't understand the whole, but it can shed through or beyond certain illusions that have for some reason appeared. This is just cleaning the mirror, making a more realistic (and hence magical and charming) approach possible. This really strips away the idea of enlightenment as some kind of perfection or finality. It's an awakening and has nothing to do with turning into a man-god or divine or superior being. You're still somehow connected and related to the whole of humanity through this thinking, but your orientation goes from seeking due to personal desire and pain, and into contemplating for the very real sake of wanting to truly help. I guess that's where I'm at anyway. I've been getting way more into science lately and I think it's helped me view and assess existence and its qualities more objectively, and less on the basis of hope. My perception tells me that consciousness is first and foremost an idea, and secondly, that what it tries to refer to is the reality of an experience. The idea doesn't necessarily point to anything - it merely describes something. It doesn't name it, it tries to explain it. This indicates that we still regard all phenomena as mysteries - we continue to treat the fact of existence as a mystery on a very deep level. We don't want to feign ignorance, because we are learning, but we can't pretend to have knowledge either, because no human being has ever understood the whole picture. So there's no object or reality called consciousness that we can talk about. We can't talk about if the brain produces it or anything else. Even the brain is a description, not an actual thing. We don't actually know a single thing about anything. This is utterly fascinating to me. Human communication, which was necessary apparently for the evolution of mind and the benefits of complex communication blunders here in that we turn descriptions into things automatically, without questioning the reality that ideation IS knowing. Getting stuck on that point though is pretty pointless. The mind likes to visit certain thoughts over and over. Ouspensky says people have the potential to have (develop) their own consciousness, but most don't. I also like this assessment, as it makes sense to me now after many years of not making sense. I respect Gurdjieff immensely for reasons I don't understand or know how to think about, but I have to remain skeptical even at his word. Otherwise, I'm likely to blind myself. Consciousness is truly a mystery. Truly nobody really knows what it is or what it does. The evolutionary perspective does not necessarily explain why consciousness would develop in the first place. Why does God become embodied in these organs? tldr; wtf

It's like a love relationship. Your beliefs like to be on top. You play submissive while they ride you. They fuck you over but you blind yourself because they promise you security. What are some beliefs you hold that hold you back? What makes it difficult to let go?

Really appreciated your post.

To clarify, thoughts and beliefs are different. Spiritual theories are always thoughts. You can say "I believe such and such about the Tao," and you're just saying "I believe in my thoughts." Beliefs are of a different order. I suppose belief could be divided into two types: belief, and Belief. The latter is a deep faith in a particular kind of thought, probably something magnetic, religious, spiritual, cosmic, existential. A lower-case belief is of a totally different order. You almost never notice your lower-case beliefs, and if you've waded into the deep end of your spirituality and gotten stuck there due to egotism, you might think you don't even have any. Lower-case beliefs like "I need money to survive," "If I get enlightened I will be happy," "My mind is more intelligent than other minds," and "I'm scared of being wrong," are background influences, and it takes a lot of vulnerability to access, analyze, and communicate about these. Vulnerability is something a lot of intelligent people find very scary, because it's the ultimate ego-deflator, and sometimes we're just not in a place to accept that our egos, particularly our conceptions of ourselves as wise and spiritual, are in the way of genuine, moment-to-moment, non-rigid, theory-free, fluid, loving, contact with creation... which I would define as wisdom.

Could you explain to me why Aum is the primordial sound? I have never understood this.

I am malleable in my views when it comes to meeting and relating to other persons and their thinking. My consciousness, apparently separate and autonomous, is not myself, so I don't identify with it. When it encounters another consciousness, we meet as friends, brothers, sisters. It is a deep relationship that I cannot explain. What you experience, I also experience. What you say is true, is true also for me, for I see the truth in you and respect it with my absolute and total being. I know that nothing in my own consciousness is absolute, so I am without attachment to it. Without attachment does not mean I am ambiguous or uncertain about anything in my mind, only that I am not some particular thing that is opposable by another. I know nothing of the lives of others, only that in my own life the single most enduring commandment has been to do nothing. Nobody I have ever said this to understands, as I still go about my daily activities - walking, talking, negotiating, learning, researching, making appointments, attending to relationships on a deeply personal level, etc. But in regards to the real, I am utterly passive, and this is the way I experience existence and all interactions with other beings as blessings. In my view, I appear to do things, but the reality is that my hands have been stripped off of the steering wheel for quite some time now. When people speak of "wanting a particular kind of life" or "achieving such and such state," these are the existential desires that can be answered through surrender. The conditioned, wanting, conceptual mind cannot comprehend the order or organization of the events that will answer to these needs. The Universe is its own purpose and fulfillment. Reality is not a simulation or computer program or video game or machine. You can't push a button and make the Universe do as you please (although you actually can, but that presupposes a tremendous connection on an energetic and mental level to the whole). This again gets at the non-linear non-causal state of affairs. Regarding cause-effect, I am not sure. I never experienced one thing leading to another. I see thousands (infinite thousands) of factors contributing at all times to all events. Perhaps in this manner the OP can access more of the personal abundance he/she is seeking. I have met only one person who has comprehended this. The single most common complaint I hear from young people is "I don't know what I'm doing with my life." There is a profundity to this confusion.

The mind as you speak of it is a mind bound to externals, to objects, to particulars. Unbind the mind. Concern yourself with what is truly yours: that light, that bliss, that vibration of pure existence. The only thing I aim to manifest anymore is total illumination. I do this by expecting it, aligning myself with that expectation (meaning, I KNOW it's coming), and I receive it. I do not worry when it will come or how or whether I will be a guru or have any power or influence. I simply vibrate that highest state and receive it spontaneously. I also forget and I dream and I worry like anyone else. This is also important, Dream: I never have more than I need. The Universe is not wasteful like that. It does not allocate millions of dollars to me, or thousands of apples, or new cars, because all of those are wasteful. I have what I need and nothing more. The exchange is always going on. Some of what is expounded in the teachings I have read plays on a major character flaw of the ego: greed. Some of the best animes I've ever seen use sex appeal to draw an audience in. Commercials do the same. That doesn't mean the product is not valuable, it means it's being marketed at you effectively. It's good because it has drawn you to a truth of our world. It's bad because you think you need things you don't. The deeper your meditation, the deeper your detachment, the higher your wisdom, and the greater your knowledge about the charade of control and oppression in this world, the more you can laugh whole heartedly at all apparent opposition to you. When I receive bills in the mail, I laugh, I feel blissful... because I see where the money is going, how I was apparently "indebted" during my time of sleep, and I see what it's funding (war, etc.), and I do nothing about it. All is taken care of ultimately - your case will be totally different than mine, but the source is the same if you trust it. I experience myself floating in outer space, manifested as outer space, experiencing outer space, through a peephole in outerspace, and nothing "stressful" that happens in consciousness is even remotely important - or rather, it doesn't merit worry. Such is my faith. All is well.