wilfred

sounds good to me, best to do it all in one thread if you want more holistic based responses. this is probably the best board for getting a more sympathetic ear, but feel free to put it in any section you feel appropriate.

i think a major consideration would what qualities of mind are you looking to cultivate? virtue is the basis for all practice and getting grounded with your energy well organized as a foundation, likely a big chunk of the path by itself. most people who post on the internet (and society in general) in my estimation, have badly organized energy, specifically with too much awareness in their head and aren't well grounded. whether that's you a teacher would be able to tell immediately and provide an appropriate practice. be wary of listening to people on the internet, as well meaning as they/we are, insight into karma is critical for determining what's most appropriate for an individuals needs. and being able to cut through the delusion via transmission. also some sort of lineage vs people making stuff up, to give the best chance of any of this bearing any fruit. peace!

i would try to find someone that has a background/training in traditional chinese medicine as a starting point.

welcome and i'm sure you'll find plenty of fellow semen retainers around these parts!

welcome fellow Brit, there are quite a few folk situated on this little island here

awareness builds as ignorant energy (where you can't feel anything) is broken down. if you want to train your mind faculties and build up your concentration/mindfulness then place equal attention on the areas you can't feel as you can feel and keep doing it. an effective practice that does this (can't easily be taught on the internet) will start to penetrate deeper and deeper and before long you'll be feeling a lot more than you felt before, as well as cultivating various qualities of mind. but moving awareness around the body in balanaced way is the key. you need to let your concentration stabilize in areas where there seemingly isn't much going on. i'm sorry but the people saying just do nothing, let your mind do what it wants etc, that's great but it's not a proper training of the mind that's gonna lead to results. we do need to be equanimous to anything we can feel, but we also need to restrain the mind and reorganize our energy (get grounded) as a foundation.

a little SQL is good for the bowels

i take it you guys and gals already agreed on the origin of mankind

heya fellow Brit, i'm not a million miles away from you down in Bedfordshire there's nothing wrong with you, especially if it's in relation to being uncomfortable with 'societies norms'! the trick seems to be what to do, how to handle this new-found awareness of ones situation. you're on the right path by looking into this stuff, methinks.

just stepped out the shower...nice n clean

greetings and dip away!

welcome dude! that's quite a wall of text, may i recommend making a thread in the 'Newcomer Corner', you can copy what you've written here but maybe add some formatting, namely paragraphs i suspect some bums may be able to offer advice, the dreaded semen retention topic isn't uncommon if you search the rest of the boards all the best in your stay here!

welcome! stop by the chat again sometime, we don't bite

good morning

let me have a stab and i can only do this from experience of transmission/having my mind held in this state. pure metta feels like flying in space on a magic carpet, the way i would describe it is very three dimensional, like you are floating in space with no ground beneath you. it's also impossible to feel pain at the same time as it closes the aversion mind door. awesome stuff

i'm totally with you on the cannabis stuff. used it regularly for years, still use it from time to time to be honest, though it's negative effects are more strongly pronounced, to put it mildly. i used it recreationally through university and continued to use it until i had somewhat of a breakdown and fell chronically ill. various factors at play and the cannabis didn't help. i continued to use it to support my health as it relieved various symptoms i was struggling with, but i was ultimately looking for a cure and the root cause the whole time. i've now found that through teachings, an understanding of energy/karma stuff, a powerful practice and am working through the issues, slowly but surely. it sounds like you are naturally waking up. late 20s seems to be a significant time for us energetically, where we're fully maturing and coming into the heart energy. for reference i'm 30 and had my big breakthroughs at 29, through meeting a teacher, learning meditation and receiving dhamma transmission. makes perfect sense that you're feeling less like cannabis as it's constantly disturbing the heart/consciousness when you're on it. i find it overeggs the pudding, sends energy upward (when you want to be balanced/grounded) and it's effect linger around for days. it's far worse than alcohol in that sense, at least for infrequent use. in terms of the meditation, discipline, crumbling, bad habits in general. you need a good reason. you need to feel the feel the effects at an energetic level or have some context (teaching) as to just might be going on here. better motivation i guess is what i'm saying. a taste of how things are when we're truly settled has been the strongest motiviation personally. a million times better than any intoxicated high and something to aspire to, without chasing too much (hard!). sounds like you naturally reached a better place having been away, seems to be a common thread when people go somewhere new or more natural for a while. there's the idea that whatever life is presenting us is our perfect lesson if we embrace it. the fact you're aware of any of this and having such introspective thoughts is significant in itself. so good luck! and feel free to get me to expand on anything that could be helpful or interesting

heya. doing well thanks! yeah it can be very tough to line up with this stuff here, i feel. the general vibration of people and also the weather are two factors that make it more uphill. lots of repression in our society along with the technology stuff that's become a hindrance to western people. teachers...yeah. guess i'm lucky to have found someone who resonates and has a large community of students, but as far as i know there aren't many. particularly any who may be attained or lineage masters, which i think is important if you want to make real progress. i saw your post on the other board so i'm going to reply there too. you certainly touched on some stuff that's close to home. peace

a certain amount of dreams are processing the daily junk, but they're far from being just a balancing tool. they literally are your psychological state, or what we would consider a direct representation of it. different layers of the same reality. if we expand 'psychological state' to encompass all our feelings at an energetic level, where they are arising from, that's more accurate. and even then, it's more part of an ongoing purification process. for example have a relatively peaceful day and your dream time has more chance to start dealing with the backlog, the deeper conditioning that's hindering us. what happens when you penetrate really deep through these layers is where it gets interesting - lucidity and various levels of light/pure awareness experiences. this higher awareness can be carried into the waking state with increased direct perception and noticing the basic ground. more advanced people can even be aware of everything that happens between the moment they fall asleep and wake up in the morning. that's a whole different spin on how we generally think of sleeping - ie a more unconscious, seperate part of reality.

if you become aware of the emotional tones of your dreams, these are the same feelings (energy) running in the background for you in the waking world. they're affecting your perception, distorting 'reality', all the time, each and every day. dreams are an invaluable tool for expanding ones awareness deeper into the subconscious.

hallo fellow Brit

brother knows how to get down!