blue eyed snake

hmm... it's also said in spiritual texts that we should try to find the balance between female and male. That males should look for their feminity and vice versa. i don't know about the energy body deciding anything, but energies do tend to behave different in male versus female bodies. And not every male body behaves like any other male body, neither does the chi. It's a continuum, where people like Maddie and me are on the outer sides. It's the society that prevents us from acting like the gender that we feel is right, that fits with the way our chi runs through and around the body. I mean, the body i currently live in looks like a fat old woman with big boobs, would I behave like a guy i would be laughingstock everywhere. for years I've wanted to have a beard and my voice a bit lower, would make life a lot nicer. Humans need to be part of a group, two spirit people have long been denied their place in society, I would like to see an end to that.

hmm for you and me it is so obvious, we both have been feeling that weird and unpleasant feeling of living in a body that just does not feel right But for most people there is a inheritance of many centuries were " man and woman" he created them, ruled supreme. That has shaped deep grooves in the thinking of the average Joe. I remember being so lonely, not knowing anybody who was like me or who even understood the idea of being born in wrong body. there were just those 2 choices, boy or girl, so of course I chose boy. had I been aware that i did not need to choose...but the dichotomy was an absolute given. I guess the younger generation would say I am nonbinary, I do not mind you can use any pronoun on me you like, I've heard them all I think most of the troubles of trans-people come of not being accepted by society, whether we hide ourselves, mask ourselves. We do not fit and that gives society at large a free hand in bullying. Even the existence of intersex people was kept hidden, parents of these children were admonished to keep it secret for the sake of there child. So most people had no idea there is something else then cispeople. it's gonna take a lot of time to change that groove and there are opposing forces. At least were I live, trans-people are seen and portrayed as a weird bunch of full-grown men wearing tutu's, cross-dressers, drag queens, men who dress up as women to be able to win at women sports, or to get entry into ladies toilets and sport-facilities. All of those people do exist but they are not what trans-people are, interestingly you only very rarely hear about trans-men. Those I know just want to be accepted in the role they feel they belong in, like you. No extravagance, you just live your life, do your job and experiment with ways to do your hair. and on social media I see trolls who say that trans-people are grooming the kids, portraying us as a danger. That's what tom, dick and harry and their girls hear and believe. We do not fit in the accepted groove, so we're bad. And I think were also scapegoated, it's due to the "trans-ideology" that all kinds of bad things happen, that sort of rubbish Last but not least there are worries about pubertyblockers and surgery, I understand that full well as it worries me too. I regard puberty-blockers as dangerous, it will stunt development that should take place, some important development takes place during puberty and the first research confirms my worries. For people born female a lack of estrogen will have severe repercussions on the body, we see that with women after menopause and the effects are not nice, to put it mildly. Think here connective tissue loosing strength and connectivity, organs prolapsing, teeth loose, joints hurting, plus of course osteoporosis. For myself, i am glad the choice was not there when I was young. Also a lot of children will grow out of wanting it because it was not that deep or there were other reasons not to be happy with the body. I've seen the clear positive developments in grownups after hormone-therapy and mastectomy but I have no idea how to make a decision-scheme for it. developmentally wise i would like an agecap of 23 before anything medical can happen, for 2 reasons 1 is that until that age the brain is still developing, new neural pathways are developed and the ability to plan and organize and make good decisions is still expanding. That should not be stunted. secondly Because of the developmental weakness to look into the future due to those functions not yet being finished, I do not think it wise to trust a child or a teenager with such a decision.

oh, well, lets call that a Freudian slip of the keyboard.

Waiting-lists for registration and after that waiting-list for treatment. Plus when you have several "disorders" together they can simply decide you were on the wrong waitinglist for registration after all and put you on another waitinglist for registration. https://www.vzinfo.nl/wachttijden/geestelijke-gezondheidszorg Cases of autistic people who are traumatized and depressed, are deemed "too complicated" and chucked around because nobody wants them. Some of those will suicide during that waitinglist period, I deem that a societal disorder. there's a lot more profit in simple singular disorders, see there's the easy buck again.

well that starts with the concept of disorder- what is a disorder I've had many conversations about that with youngsters who were deemed ' disordered' and rightly did not like that one bit I always told them that to me it means that you do not manage to live live independently once you're grownup and that there were still years to see whether that outcome would be reached. Same with homophilia, no, that's not a disorder, its a variation then onto this topic, I do not regard "living in the body of the other sex" as a disorder. I do however, see a girl that wants to be a boy quite suddenly after she has been abused and raped as ' temporarily disordered', here menaning, needing loving care and speaking out and whatevers. In need of recognition and help. are intersex children disordered, is there something wrong with them? do those babies need to have cut there genitalia and stamped male or female ( mostly female, cutting off is easier) The are not average but as long as the biological functions are okay, meaning they can pee and poop, to me there is no reason whatsoever to cut in these kids. the reason sits with a society that does not tolerate people diverging from the mean. story I heard last year, a lady had one of her boobs removed due to cancer, already before surgery she had told the surgeon she did not want a reconstruction tit but please make it a nice flat chest. So after surgery, radiation and chemo the cancer was gone. What happens at the next consult with the doctor, he wanted to make an appointment for reconstruction surgery, well no she said, we've covered that topic. pressure was added, she should really consent to reconstruction it would make her happier et cetera, well no she repeated, I am mighty glad you all managed to remove the cancer from my body and now I've planned a holiday, this episode is now hopefully behind me More pressure. No well, I send you to a psychologist to talk this over as you're making a decision that is not in your interest. this lady had thought it over, was intelligent, well spoken and chose something that did not fit in with the societal norms. She was treated like she was not able to make up her own mind. so she had to fight to prevent getting a silicon tit, were it's seemingly not a problem to do double mastectomies on teenagers. who said something about making an easy dollar

I do think reincarnation is a fact, but at the same time everybody that comes blabbing to me about suffering and how to deal with it i invite to walk a mile in my moccasins and after that we 'll pick up the conversation. (tip of my thoughts, when you break your leg will you not have it set but just meditate on it that hurt is a passing thing? that it does not matter that from now on you will not be able to walk as the body after all is just a vehicle et cetera)) and regarding reincarnation, I once read theory that transgender people have changed sex after a long row of incarnations with the other sex. For me that would mean that after a long row of male incarnations I now walk this earth in a female body. Still many "hooks" in those former incarnations I will feel like a man. I think it's plausible.

yes, and that is the experience of people I know too. That's not data, it's only three persons, but seeing how they transformed from sad, struggling people, shoulders hanging, to vibrant personalities was a joy to look at. But somehow we need to take care that we are sure that youngsters presenting with a wish to change their body are truly trans people. the other thing that worries me in that regard is the young age, as yet it is not known what pubertyblocker do with your body in the long run but there are some red flags waving at me.

thats naive, there's a scarcity of therapists, waitinglists of a year are not unusual, they can do whatevers. Their patients often are desperate for help, i know parents...ah well the whole setup is unbalanced, the therapists always holds power. I will not go further into it, it's deranging the thread

of course I know that, i formerly was a child psychologist. But they do not sell it as conversiontherapy, but as prayersesssion or something like that. besides the parents send the kids so nobody is going to comply yes, in the ideal world it would be, but the world is not ideal and I regularly hear the side of patients and their crying mothers,. Not nice, but not much can be done as it is the word of the patient against that of the therapist, the powerinbalance is enormous and most people are not able to endure the added stressor of a formal complaint. yes, and even there it's getting worse, they now want to put everybody with a psychological problem and an IQ lower then 85 under that rule. thats deemed cheaper ( for they you can read thepeole who hold the money)

thats one way of putting it maybe they had a problem with it, I don't I prefer dressing in jeans with a shirt or jeans with a pulllover and anybody that tells me I should be more feminine to be happy can get some words from me

yes, but my experience has taught me that the therapists I met had their own ideas. Reason for coming was depression and some ingrained behavioral patterns from my childhood. Next they pushed feminine clothing and lipstick and whatever nonsense on me because they thought it would make me feel better. When i patiently explained it was totally beside the point i was labelled an unwilling difficult patient that did not understand the real problems, their problem was nicely solved. the client was unwilling and not able to understand her problems at the moment were fighting to get ABA out of our institutions, ABA is making autistic children behave as the children of the neighbors. One in three kids gets traumatized by it. and still it i sold as preferred treatment. How nice it must be to live in such a fairyparadise, the reality from the side of the patients often is very different we have some christian therapist doing conversion therapy for trans-kids, oh, they do not call it such, but thats what they do. they do not seem to be much bothered by ethical codes other then their christian beliefsystem. when you live in whatever institution every fucking therapy can be made mandatory on the whim of the psychologist and other personnel working there. sorry to disabuse you of some naive thoughts.

I grew up in a time were the whole thing was unheard of, i remember once I saw a person on a train that i was not able to figure out whether (s)he was man or woman. I probably stared, 11 years old at a guess, we had a nice conversation. I still remember because it was the first and only person i had that reminded me of myself, someone like me, it was glorious moment But I never had a choice whether to change body (or mind), it was just like: this is what you are, figure out a way to live your life and without thinking I chose boy, that was good for me, the woman I did choose later ( under societal pressure i may add) has made me unhappy, was far more playing a role then being a man was. And about surgery, our whole society is like that, don't like you big nose - cut. want bigger tits, fill up, bigger butt, Lift and fill. "nicer" female parts labiaplasty. Saggy from bearing kids, mommy makeover. It makes me nauseous tbh we are taught that the body is for us to change as we want it, in everything, as long as we have money to pay for it of course. Then when we get old and those scars play up and hurt, or the labiaplasty rips open during childbirth, then those nice doctors are not very nice anymore. Little intersex babies get surgery too- cut and you get stamped, this one is male, that one is female. humanity is literally cut in 2 parts, man and woman he made them, and the small minded people will take care everybody gets pushed into that mould. we do not learn to accept, to find out what we are. I do not think i needed to have counseling to become a woman, i am okay as I am, i do not want any psych or counselor to try to change that. It's very different from the backlash of an abusive childhood in that aspect. also I think there is a more spiritual part underlying what modern doctors call " genderdysphoria" as it is who I am (at least temporary, in this life, but that is an aspect that no counselor that I know of weighs) I am glad the time were i lived forced me to just muddle through best i could. during my life i played both roles.I ended up thinking/living that its totally irrelevant whether I am woman or man. That feels as a satisfactory outcome. oops, i got carried away

so poorold me who had all the joys of sex in my younger years and gave up as an old spiritual daobum will have the best of both worlds? and how translates that in your next incarnation? or does it mean you won't come back here? although i do not yearn to return fast, being in the physical world has a lot of attractions, the green grass, the feeling of sun and wind on your skin, the sweetness of some fruit. Somehow I guess I am gonna miss that after a while

how i would like that the guy on the right is Apech, he has painted his hair and thinks he's still 18, we'll let him eh

Move over a bit, I would like a seat on the bench too, will get some cookies for us to share

I do not know why a minority of people does not feel at home in their bodies, but it is a deep-rooted feeling. And not, what is often thought, a psychological or psychiatric phenomena. Although I guess that currently with all the eyes that are on the alphabet people, some nutty people have gathered under that flag that are mislead ( or worse, misusing it). I would also not rule out that currently some youngsters walk that path just because they can. But at its core these people exist and are now in a same sort of "societal transition-time" as I have seen gays and lesbians go through. Not being pushed into shame and unfit for society, but simply being accepted for having a different sexual attraction then the majority, not a psychiatric condition, no need to "cure" with conversion therapy, just accept us, as we are. I think that there are differences in the fleshbody to be found, but not yet looked for. looking at my own body as a young woman: hands and feet to big ( those feet have never fitted in girl or ladies shoes) too much musclemass ( and a joy to train) brain too analytical, all very unladylike and never have wanted to be that either. ( also hormone levels not fitting into the accepted levels for a female, allergic reaction to estrogens) One day medical people will find physical differences between cis and trans people and as such, when you do want to make groups I guess we will fit in much better with intersex people. here in western society we've tended to make intersex people confirm to being male or female as babies. So as to let them fit in with society. So it is society that cuts humans in 2 different halves and you're not allowed to be different from the norm. But older societies could not do that and have different ways of looking at and integrating ( or not) people diverging from the norm. the first part of my life I lived/masked as a boy/young man. During high-school that was problematic, but after that I became a mechanic and found the same sense of friendship and camaraderie I had with boys when still a child. Oh, they all knew I was a woman, but I was accepted as one of the guys, doing the same chores, and having the same joys. the second part I have tried to live as a woman, it was not successful and it has made me unhappy, the best choice i have ever made was divorce after the kid was of age. That kid interestingly, much later told me: mom, when I was a kid you really were more of a dad then a mom. I never had easy contact with girls, their interests were not mine and it was only deep into my forties that friendships with women developed. I clearly remember the moment when a female friend had to have surgery because of a very high risk on hereditary breast-cancer, a double mastectomy, she told me it hurt her so much as her breasts were part of her female identity just like with all women. I never told her, but at that moment i found myself thinking. Having no breasts would make me happy. Now during the third and last part of my life I am just human, the whole idea of man or woman, one way or the other, has left me. ----- Obviously this whole subject has had my interest for a very long time, I know several trans-people that you would not be able to spot, as they blend so well in the picture we expect with a certain gender. I guess most of us are just trying to blend in were we feel we belong and the portrayal of trans-people as pink and rainbowy dressed up people is cringy to me. there is grumbling about the prides too, too much rainbows and things. but I guess in essence what a pride is...the reversal of shame, I should be ashamed I do not fit in societal norms of what a girl should be, just as back in the days, gays should be ashamed to be attracted to a male, "that's unnatural" I will never forget the teacher that left my primary school because he was a homosexual. Although it was never said out loud by the grownups, all the kids were blabbing about it. Looking back, he was a very feminine man for sure. That was in the sixties lets not repeat such things.

interesting question

i think your mom is a good person

yes, that is a story I've heard from several transpeople, like" oh, i always was like this but socieyl ( parents/sibs/peers) sort of pressured me to conform to the mold. I think in that regard I was lucky with the family i was born into

from a physical point of view, the ease of crying and the acuteness of smell are estrogen related, when I became menopausal i experienced this in the other direction. about the dimming of sexuality, I have never done anything ( hormones/surgery) about the femaleness of my body. I remember being very horny the first year I practised my brand of chigung, like a teenager really. With teacher warning me not to indulge myself

yes, but i think what Apech means is that there is some underlying 'something' that goes deeper then the culturally male/female structure. And I agree with him, imo the cultural thing is too thin to hold the weight of the identity. I am born a girl but at three i asked my 10 year older brother when my peepee would start to grow, he laughed at me and said I would not grow a peepee. Thinking he was making fun of me I ran to mom to ask her. She told me I would not grow a peepee because I am a girl, that troubled me deeply, as i was sure I was a boy. at three, i did not have much knowledge about cultural things. I just thought of myself as a boy.

you should tell us about it, its floating above your right shoulder

ah, like this?

not bad, you remind me of a brother in law when he was younger. Have had so much fun with that guy, and you manifested a nice shiny orb, but I still prefer sweet young ladies.

who are you REALLY? now, for most of us that is an unanswerable question. You do not know who I am REALLY either. I see and read a sweet young lady so I regard her as such. I like sweet young ladies.