blue eyed snake

thank you Bindi, this looks a bit like what i was trying to say

yes, reading them I recognize these stages, was not able to find them in my memory though... but, there's more. People can become angry being unaware of it and bottle it up and people can become aware of becoming angry and bottling it up.( In both cases thickening a blockage) But then you can choose to go to the 'place' of your old anger, I've done that standing, emptying the mind and feeling into the body, when you've found the source you scream ( imagine that, a screaming serpent ) an effective way of getting rid of old stuff. ( but warn the neighbors beforehand ) It does not leave the body with ' angerstuff' but rather with relaxation and a sense of something being more open. now I can imagine that when someone/something touches on such a tender spot, you can act on it by for instance making an irritated remark, or maybe throwing over some tables in a temple, thereby getting rid of something old, but keeping your calm/cool. Not to say that i'm able to do that, but i can imagine that could work that way.

more ale... no, alcohol has a shortterm relaxing effect, but in the longterm it tends to get the relaxing part of the neurotransmittersystem out of whack. So you'd best stop drinking ale, if you have, indeed, a shortage of gaba that is.

reading this, i think you're not well versed in daoist practices ( neither am I for that matter, but it is my root)

I don't get what you mean with " relative clarity across various frequencies/channels" and no, healing during a tempertantrum, i do not think that is possible, but rage, is overtaking someone. that's different from recognizing that anger bubbles, observe it, be aware where it comes from and then releasing it. in the latter case the neurotransmittersystems are calm afterwards, with tempertantrum/rage, the whole body is in an uproar afterwards. so that's the distinction I would like to make, between being possesed by your anger or simply letting go of an old piece of anger.

i've had a look at it, seems to me that the relation between neurotransmitters and behavior is overly simplified. The neurotransmittersystem is a very intricate one, to take these four and try to explain everything with it does not sound good to my ears. No idea whether there is any valid relation between the chinese way of looking with the five elements. about gaba, if you would want to try it take natural gaba, it's bacteria produced and exactly the same as what your body produces. Therefore it can pass the blood-brain-barrier, which synthetic gaba does not ( or hardly) http://eu.iherb.com/Thorne-Research-PharmaGABA-100-60-Veggie-Caps/18741 start with a low dose, not more then half a capsule, to find out what it does, it can make one feel very drowsy when the own body-supply is really too small. I remember the first time i took 50 mg I had to lay down for about four hours, slowly the body gets used to it and one can heighten the dose. But then, my shortage of gaba is very large. further he writes something like ' melatonine is a gaba booster', it's not! When you take gaba, the body will more readily produce melatonin, but when you take melatonin, the gabaproduction of the body gets smaller. This is the reason that people find that when they take too much melatonin for problems with falling asleep, they cannot fall asleep at all and begin to feel stressy another gaba enhancer that is not mentioned in this document are hop-cones ( the thingies used for brewing beer) makes for a nice bitter tea. but i do not advise to take gaba without consulting a knowledgeable practician.

well, apart from notions as equality, me thinks society as a whole would profit when young people were really free to choose the profession they are likely to excel in. regarding coding, I'm stupid in that department, but I do know that one of the problems in the field is the communication between the customer and the coder. They do not speak each others language. The customer wants things of his program that are vital for her/his profession, the coder does not get the vitality of some of the demands. And vice versa. That means that the on average better communicative skills of women would be valuable in that profession. further I look at education, in the Netherlands education is thoroughly feminized, To me that is an unbalanced environment for children. I've worked in a school once where there was a guy teaching the preschoolers. he was very happy in his job, it was what he wanted. He did his job very well (and he was just as caring as his female colleagues). But he told me that his choice was met with much hurdles, mainly in the department of...that a womans job, you are a fool, you're working below your level... this is not long ago either. so that is the other side of the unbalanced participation in jobs. For woman the message still seems to be that it might be too hard for them, for guys who prefer a womans job derision can wait for filling a womans ( read here : easy/caring/undemanding) job. ( btw, teaching preschoolers is a very demanding job...) In my younger years I've worked as a mechanic, at first some eyebrows were raised mighty high by my colleagues to be ( this is some 30 years ago) I knew that would happen, did not want any exceptions made for me. just wanted to be a mechanic. Only exception I made was that i wanted a quarter of an hour off weekly to clean the loo after some time everybody was happy, without any knowledge or doing of my side a roster appeared so that we all had a share of cleaning the loo and the little kitchenette seems they preferred it clean too. My hands and overalls were just as black as theirs, i took my equal share of the workload ( but i remember well the day i wasn't strong enough to get loose a screw-nut, o shit i thought. but there was a very strong guy working with us, I f he could not get something loose you could forget it, so I went to him, little shy, like shit " am I not able to do this job? after a big wank he loosened it and told me, hey, don't you mind, you're definitely not the weakest in muscles here, so that was that. and after some months eating lunch there was a ( for me totally unexpected) general agreement that my coming was an asset for the firm because the atmosphere was much better than before I worked there. later, my brother told me: (he worked in a male only job and a female arrived, same raised eyebrows.) when a woman is around, men tent to curb there language somewhat. With no women around, men tend to fall in the trap of getting steadily more rough in their language and behavior and not being able to return on the road to more civilized manners. but the presence of a woman easily does the trick and the guys will be more happy for it. and maybe something like that works too when guys work in all female groups, so, apart from the gendergap ( imo very real) there is the question of balance just my two cents.

talking about butterflies, you used to post a butterfly daily, have they flown away to better places?

yeah...well... I do not agree I've never thought about it, until now. but as i said, when younger i had definite healing powers, and i was full of crap, more given to temper-tantrums even than the average child (and with good reason i can see now) But I could become a channel for er..the divine or something. And thinking back that happened like...er I think i temporarily let go of the me-sense. i remember it as sort of ' standing beside/behind myself' . but very different from dissociating, which feels totally different. And i was very aware that it was not me doing the healing, but that it happened through me. now I'm definitely not a saintly figure, just a simple bum, but I suppose the principle remains the same

ah, read that only after my post, you put it much better then I did, it's indeed submitting to a higher power which then works through your body

and about healing and negative emotions. me thinks, when one has the ability to be used as an instrument for the healing power, then healing can pass through ones body and go out at ones hands. i know i had healing hands as a child and young woman, i also know that i was full of crap. I do agree with the notion that when the amount of negativity gets smaller, the body may become more suitable to act as a channel/ an instrument for healing. But now that i read this thread ( thanks Bindi, a most interesting one) it comes to me that there are indeed ever new layers of negativity/impurity to become aware of and then dissolved. When you dissolve deep emotions, they literally need to come out of your body, but at the same time no harm may be done on others. maybe..I think now...a pitfall can be to think that you're done with your negativity because ( healing) powers have started to happen. but then you may obstruct our own development, which wants you to go ever deeper. And i do agree that the more pure ones bodymind is, the better suited to be a channel.

sometimes I wonder what Jesus would think of your squabbling about his words and actions

yep, agree with that, accidentally, i know several talented female programmers. They all learned some basics when still kids. This fact has steered them towards the successful careers they have now, they told me so. It was the first taste at primary school that set them on doing some extra course when teenagers, and then another and finally the decision to make it their job and do the hard work that's needed at schooling. these preliminaries have given them the needed self-confidence to attend to a school ( and later workplace) where the majority ( at least in their times) was male. of course, 3 women is not exactly a broad sample, but still

dance

I was watching a sparrow-hawk, gliding majestically with a blue sky as a background, circling, I thought, probably looking for mice, beauty. then a group of around 12 to 15 Jackdaws began to circle around it, even more or less bumping into the sparrowhawk. after a while the hawk left, flying away, probably towards the small woodland where they have their homes. amazing to look at this meeting between two species, I mean, a sparrow-hawk likes to eat a juicy jackdaw...

no answers here for you, but thanks for the vid, beautiful!

juggling

show me the place where the suffering began. Leonard Cohen

thanks Dwai, this gives me words/concepts for the things I'm doing. My teacher never tells a thing, by now he might have told me, but i haven't been able to go to the dojo for over a year, and not able to practice either, but in the small things i still do, these words resonate mightily sounds right to me, same grains of salt, me being just a beginner-student. I'm not taught that, nor any visualizing, was quite a surprise for me when I read about that, in a book of MC ( one has to start reading somewhere) and here on the forums. I remember the first time i made a ball between my hands, i was a relatively firm unbeliever at the time first teacher told us to make a ball and after a while he asked us what we felt/experienced. I felt a little tingling of the hand-palms and a strange (how strange i thought at the time) sense of a flowing something between the hands. Then he told us to start play with the ball, just follow the ball, it knows where to go .... Er... there came a moment i lifted it above my head, i started swirling like a mad derwish, on socks, on a smooth wooden floor, whew... the head first became empty and then sort of... changed place and time. Looking back i suspect i had a little help on that one, although he warned me not to try that in my living room he says something like: when your body start to move spontaneously during this ballplay, chi can and will dissolve your blocks. Er...maybe more like: when you start playing with the ball, the spontaneous movement that can happen is the result of chi 'pushing' against your blocks. at least, that is how understand it now. yep, you can do all sorts of things with it, i remember a time where i did a sort of, I think splitting, merging and splitting it. I made the LDT go jerking. Pushing to the earth and the sky. of course I have been doing that, but never have conceptualized it as making a ball.... see, i'm some sort of stupid we have one practice where we alternately push the sky and the earth (and some other movements inbetween) Teacher always warns us that the amounts of pushing heaven and earth should be about the same. I realize now that in the little practice i do now, I've sort of lost the heaven while I still do the earth-pushing. ( not able to do the aforementioned practice, but still sometimes standing for a few moments, playing a little) I wonder Dwai, could you make words of the effect of pushing with the earth, or with the heavens? and also, one can push just off, I mean vertically horizontally, right into the world, ideas? or am i asking too much now? never thought about it before, but, i suppose when playing with the ball, something happens with the external field too. i mean, not just the meridians in the body, but also the bubble outside the body interact with and change when you play with the ball I'll first await your comments

och yes, of course the habit of analyzing is not gone totally, but it has diminished greatly. and the part of it that is gone, is really gone, not put under a rug, but dissolved. Analyzing is a habit of the mind, and once you've dived in the sphere where time, space and mind do not exist, the futility of the monkey-mind becomes clear Thereby giving space for my famous intuition, and other things. No fingers in wounds here, the wounds are healing and therefore the fingers that want to pry in it do not have much effect anymore. I'm grateful for it, it gives me peace, I may not have much time anymore. I've no urge to rant at you, or anybody, no energy for it but also no need. I 'm pretty sure you cannot/will not or maybe dare not get this. I suspect in you a fear for that 'silent place' , but going there, changes the outlook on about everything, i pray you''ll get there. if not this life then the next, you've been close. we all walk our own path, in our own time and manner. BES

everything, bit like you're doing really

nah...she's unlearning to analyze, then the rest follows

yes, I've found that just living life as it is, without trying to make ( too much) words for it's mystery of meaning. brings me closer to ' getting' that mystery then the endless analyzing I've done in my younger years.