blue eyed snake

Tibet http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/01/20/tibet-s-self-immolation-outbreak-will-not-be-shared.html

well, it certainly was the business of those cops to notice me. I was sitting in the car they were getting at and it was a wellknown way of transporting larger amounts of drugs to give them to a nice looking girl ( yeah...that was me in those days ) and those guys were pointedly looking for a drugs find. ( they've sort of ruined the car looking for it ....) but still I could just walk away from the scene, and never made much of it. I'm no daoist, nor a buddhist, just a bum

I do not see what the fuss is all about. I've always been able to sort of fade in the background, never made much of it, never thought about it either. until reading this thread. It became a useful tool when I was working as a child psychologist in a school for kids 4-12 years old. sitting in the back of a classroom, or in the gym. just observing behavior, interactions. Now with children one may say it's easy, but the teachers forgot about me too. and in general teachers become very self-conscious when someone is looking at their behavior. Remember a time that they brought the tea for the adults around and they were skipping me, so I spoke up and said. Am i allowed to have a cup of tea too? eh...oh, you're still here some of the kids were a little 'harder' to fool, they could just in an instant become aware of me, I then put a finger on my lips and winked, then we had a secret together. They then forgot about me again. More back to the original post, i'm no fighter and never will be, but still... In my younger years i was the girlfriend of a dope-dealer. We had been to Amsterdam, two guys and me to buy a block of hashish. Contrary to our normal routine i said, give it to me, i'll take care of it. They trusted my hunches. We we're probably tipped to the police by someone, the cops came, we had to get out of the car etc. And it was so much of the stuff that even our lenient dutch cops would have problems with it. I was standing there, dope was in the pocket of my jacket, my hand on it. I looked at the situation, decided i better get out of it and slowly walked out of it, no fuss at all. cops did not seem to notice it. My friends were taken to the policestation, everything was looked at but only a small amount of dope for daily use was found and confiscated, but that little carried no threat of legal measures. so later in the night they were set free. Now reading this thread it's really simple. When you're observing only, not attached to the situation at all, then you just fade in the background. In self defense this is probably a big step harder to do, but that may be the underlying principle, Bes

A lot of advice and most of it very good, adrenal fatigue is indeed very plausible, think back to what the Amsterdam lady told you. One of the reasons for your fatigue and tendency to procrastinate is the aftermath of use of exorfins (grains for you). These little ' buggers' still play havoc in your brain. I think you'r using DPPIV enzyme now? if that's the case it will help in the long run with the above-mentioned problems. It does far more than just helping digestion, but all the other advices are to be heeded too love BES

Orion wrote thank you, this is truth as I perceive it now

ROTFL thank you, I really needed a laugh just when i opened your thread I think i'll buy me a fan too

me too

hah, i did not write good or bad, I wrote worsening, making more severe. that in itself is not bad...I was pointing to the physical side of it. when the body comes in a situation whereby the amount of poisons in the body becomes so large and then the body is unable to detox itself I think that is indeed bad. We should take care of the bodyandmind as good as we can, and for people like me and the OP that means to tread the way slowly and carefully, giving the bodyandmind time to digest the process. I've chronique fatigue syndrome, that is not due to energetical work, but now I know that it has also had a strong influence to the risk that I will not recover. So, in a way it has worsened my condition. Also i know of people who have become psychotic follow meditation or energetic work. I do not think that is well, I've once know a woman who started zen-meditation with the idea of creating some rest in her mind. Soon she got anxiety-attacks. When she asked the teacher about this she was told just to sit through it ( daily one hour). Now, i do think that is stupid advice, she should have taken it slowly. She then stopped it and will probably never pick it up again. when i took up my first attempts at meditation, after 5 minutes i either began crying or screaming. So that was long enough for me. before I became ill i made it to 30 to 60 minutes. But now I'm unable to meditate....which was not the intended outcome. so, it was just a word of warning, take it slowly and carefully, Bes

CT wrote it may also give a hint why some people have strong reactions to energy-work and meditating. The dissolving of blockages is not only mental and energetically but also very physical. Bad shit literally comes loos. When the body is a bad detoxer it has problems to eliminate the debris that came loose. This in itself can make sick and maybe make prone to worsening emotional conditions. just an idea that pops up, Bes

I'm just reading some articles about the relation between food and AD(H)D, ASS, depression and Bipolardisorder. roughly it says that the disorders have a strong relation with the capacity of detoxing of the body. This detoxing capacity is part of the bodily functions as the baby starts up. So it has a genetic root. but it can be influenced by outer things such as food and psycho-social stresses. When people like this eat the wrong foods, the body slowly poisons itselfs, this then leads to indigestion problems, the gut becomes compromized which then accelerates the amount of poisonous substances that can enter the body through the gut etc. Slowly everything goes out of whack. Its a lot more interwoven than this summary of course, very interesting read. I cannot help you with a link, it's in Dutch, but very well documented.

I could not enter the forum yesterday due to SQL error, neither reloading page nor clearing up history did remedy it

I like that, that sort of expresses what happened to me

thank you Liminal, you're sensitive yes, that is a very appropiate verse, and the knowledge that i'm allright even while being incapable of doing more that taking care of my body has shifted from an intellectual knowledge to a real knowing. And that includes other people. well, I' ve some ideas about it, but in the end the only thing I want is to become healthy again. I'm fed up with it, and after 3 years struggling I seem to be further from health than I was when I started. Th strange thing is, many people think my tiredness ( I have chronic fatigue syndrome) is psychological, they advised me to go to a psycho-therapist, which I didn't because I know that's not where the problem lies. That's the underlying reason I've lost most of my friends last year Other people are sure it must be an energetic problem, and urge me to pick up my practice again. but i'm much to tired for that. But I'm sure the problem is not energetic in nature, My teacher even remarked on how quickly I have opened channels and removed blockages. That's very much out of character for him. so the levels ' left' are the purely physical, and facts are being found at the moment, and the spiritual. There is a lesson to be learned here, probably several lessons I get what you mean there, but...eh...you know, when you look at peoples lives and the decisions they made. They may look like ' bad' decisions, but mostly people cannot but do what they do. Looking back on my own life, I see ' bad' decisions. There has been a time that I regretted these decisions. But I'v become aware of the fact that I made these with the knowledge and the insight I had at that moment, and probably would have done about the same had i been in that position again. So, happily I've not much regret or guilt left, it's becoming a story with its inevitable turns and plots. you're not the first one who mentions that to me, and I do see that i've learned many things over the last years that i would not have learned when i had stayed healthy. But you mentioning this, sort of eh... I do not feel like a very advanced soul...or maybe i do and do not want it. It feels like arrogance to believe that, and also as dangerous business ...sometimes i think the only way to get out of this situation is to jump off that spiritual cliff...or some such. thank you, your posts having given me things to ponder

and still half of the topics wont open for me, maybe tomorrow it's better.

yep, today it was especially bad, no access to be had

and the strange thing is, I do recognize that very much, I've lived in fear of the light within for all my life, and at the moment I was embracing it, my body and mind fell ill beyond measure. I'm not a tenth of the woman i was, totally incapable of anything...so what does that mean? So, at the momentn I became aware that i was ' adequate, all right etc. I ( the body-mind) became inadequate, but the knowledge that that's just the outside, is in me.

she is indeed everywhere, but why should she be ' divine' in the sense we mostly use the word? The slumchildren are as divine as the sun. My illness should be as ' good' as my lost healthy body She is both in the suffering and in the beauty, one seems to be ' needed' for the other. There seems to be a sort of balance between the two. Sometimes it seems to me that being really aware of the ' divineness' of suffering, of the totality of it all makes one aware of being one with the rest of it Of not making a difference between the two, that it's all 'good' But where i've had glimpses of being at one while i was still healthy, I've now lost it, being dregged down in what I know should not be that relevant.

sharks are indeed a very old species, and turmeric is a healthy spice, used as an ingredient of curry

with bare feet stamping on our beautiful earth, I'm blessed with grace

i did not deny that, but more regard them as vehicle/instrument. Without body and mind i would not exist on this plane. Yes, i've met people like that too, but then you're talking of dissociation of pain, that was not what I wrote about. And indeed, these people bury their pain thereby becoming locked up into themselves and not able to handle feelings and emotions.

to add on that, i'm taught qi gong, and i find our teacher endlessly corrects our movements/postures. I'm naught but a beginner, but there seems to be always more to learn about the same posture, an endless refining and the practice that i found the hardest, is also the most beneficial to me

humility... what is it's cause, and what are its effects. I've felt humbled when ' something' reaches out through me, uses my voice to say the right things, uses my body to do the right actions. being intentionally humble, cultivating that might lead to the becoming smaller of the identity that rides our actions, thereby making people more open to the awareness of the fact that not only the body, but also the mind are eh..vehicles or maybe instruments to be used wisely. pitfall here is that the cultivating of humility can lead to eh..e the construction of yet a next layer of that identity. btw, i've never identified with my body, as a child always been surprised about people who do. of late the realization that mind is like body, naught but an instrument, has become clear, but mostly i'm still stuck in the feeling of identification with mind, even though i know/am aware that that not a truism broadly it feels to me that the three treasures and the three discoveries are sort of mutually strengthening each other.

agreed as you know i do not agree with that, but I still liked your post yep, adding there that imho besides empathy, acceptance of the way the other feels about it is important like this to me it seems it can be more than that, but world would change overnight if we would all hold your definition of compassion as the way to live

paths mysterious through dark shadows and bright light but there is no goal

I do remember that, when I was a child the milkman had to put the milk for our family in the shed, or else the tits would get at it, like this;