blue eyed snake

well, a 'to be expected answer from me...' more fems... less genderbashing

slowly I find out that everything comes as it must. All in good time. I've been married, brought up a kid and now for the first time in I dont know when, i'm living alone, and enjoying it. I've had a period with funfriends, but i do not want even that anymore...something in me tells me that that might be the time that the pendulum swings again. But I'll no go looking for it. But when you are not single now...becoming single means breaking up a relationship, that's mostly a hard thing , not to do easily. And one thing i'm certain of, if there will ever be someone in my life to share with, he must be able to go along with the different exercises I do at strange times of the day... of my weird diet...my not having a TV and not wanting one either...and of course the black hands and feet...and some other things... eh..maybe I'm not too easy to go along with, but, when the time is ripe, i might meet another idiot like me. For you...maybe you indeed need some rest, to get away from citylife and all the attachments you have there. If you really feel so, take action on it, don't get stuck in thinking about it. Somewhere in you is the knowledge what you need to flourish. You try to listen to it.

yep yep, something around the cows, need the bigger one as i thought, then why do you have a few meters sticking out to the moon? I've been thinking that for some time now, doesn't seem to work, thought today i felt somewhat better, it feels like i've reached the turningpoint. seems like a good system to me yep, composting needs some organizing. I had a garden some 5 minutes on a bike from my house, a plot I shared with a lot of other gardeners. At fisrt these mostly older men looked frowning on this young woman butting into their closed little world .I got tons of good advice ( that i didn't need and didn't heed) After a few years they were used to me and my trifling ways. With about ten people together we bought cow manure, an enormous mound of it... and helped each other when needed to get it to our plots. I used that for making compost and slowly devised a good system. I build a kind of square boxes, one for new plantrests, one for pure cowmanure and one for combinationcompost. It worked so well that some of these guys came looking how this female bird made such good crops . and on the heap I had small edible pumpkins and nasturtium, beautiful But still, after years, some guy would tell me: "it's too early for sowing spinach..and then when it was ready for eating, and looking big and green and bountiful and like magic the same guy "how did you do that?? Friend of mine always wondered whether i had been living on findhorn in another life... But I do not have green fingers, just black hands ( and feet, and sometimes everything in between too) well...being single is allright too... , but one never now's what happens around the next corner

nice, thanks for posting! <<I eventually came to understand that when the imagination begins to construct mental images of certain energetic patterns, the Shen (Heart/Mind) will suddenly be able to access the energy of these forms>> now that came home to me

this one is nice too I was the very last of a family of 7 children, i heard this kind of music while still a baby/small child. Youngest sib is 7 years older than I, all the rest even older, so there was a whole bunch of teenagers and adolescents above me, enjoying the sixties Makes one colouring outside the lines I suppose,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkNkM7hq_qU

nonono, you may call me a liar, i do not mind that... but never ever call me holy will you, I get the shivers just by reading it just let me be in my hole, sometimes posting a little here and there

I've never been interested in it...just happens sometimes, ( for 2 seconds )

as long as you keep thinking about it, it will confuse ( the) you. stop thinking, it'll become totally clear ( for 2 seconds, then you'll start thinking again )

I like dancing, makes me a dancing snake, or maybe doing a snakedance. after which i'll crawl into my own individual hole. beware shhhh

I like both bo diddley and the small faces where does that leave me???? see, i never fit in any hole

Yes CT, I do agree with you, and putting it like that makes me understand it some better. You say about the same as I hear in the dojo: "every one his/her travel is unique and needs no validation, all experiences are allright, no need to talk about it. Talking about it can freeze something in a mold that should stay fluid. ( not easy to translate it from dutch) Some people might 'use' it as a "ah, look how spiritual I am"...thereby making it to an accomplishment of the mind/ego/something which imho it is decidedly not. When they go on with it after you mention that to them, well, it's their path/development whatever. On the other hand, for me, i find at the moment I try to understand a little of what has happened to me. A thread like this one thereby comes into my awareness and i mainly see a question for constructive help. I deem that a honest question that needs some answers. And that is the difference, when you ask a question because you really are getting stuck, you need someone with more experience than you to give you a little push, back on course. That's something else as 'comparing notes' But I like what I read by you and Spotless and RBV, it's more eh..philosophical in nature. Gives me a little insight, thereby...I may be feeding the always analyzing I again...that's true...seems to me it's a slowly moving balance

Thanks! I've read about them ( some years ago), and some are just begging for problems, just by the design. sounds ok, i suppose sawdust would work and is available here, I might add a little ready normal compost too, sawdust has its setbacks in a heap. idjut indeed well, that's the getting water and hewing of wood part isn't it. no olives here, but i've some other cheap plastic barrel in mind. I deem size here important, can you give the approximate size of your olivebarrel? makes sense, i think i would go for some 1 inch holes, evenly spread diameter of drainage pipe?? something like 3 inch? diameter of holes, 1/2 an inch? my command of language falls short here, what is flywire? I suppose something like a mesh that keeps flies from getting through the pipe? couple of meters is pretty vague, against the stink i suppose hmm, i'm gonna have neighbors... yep, that makes sense, well, of course, first I've to get well..... I really thought I had it almost licked and would be raring to go this spring...but now I'm very slowly recovering from a pneumonia....and feeling i was getting somewhere, now I have a god#*#*#*# d otitis..... i'm getting really fed up with it by now... About compost, what kind of temperatures do you have, and put the barrels in sun or shadow? For long years I've made heaps of a combination of cow manure and plantrests. Worked really well and the heaps became quite warm, very nice results. My neighbor tried the same with horsemanure, well, we experimented together on his horsemanure. he liked the way I did my heaps, i was interested in how to do it with horsemanure. Horsemanure becomes easily very hot so I wonder what will happen with 'toiletries' But I will get well, and then when I'm well for long enough that I trust my body again I'll put up my house for sale ( and hopefully sell it quickly, money-reserve begins to run low) and then I'll find a beautiful little house with a big garden And around that garden there will be small trees and flowery shrubs, that I deem is the right place to spread this selfmade compost. ( this woman cannot live on foodgarden alone either, and she misses the big garden she had for years, but had to give up after she divorced, and she misses the veggies, and the big bunches of flowers she could pick for the living room, and the berries, the strawberries, the...oh well, i miss it!) poppies too by the way, the usual red ones, and yellow ones and a rare purple one yep, I thought you'd construct something that doesn't cost tons of money. ah no...I cannot construct that all by myself, i'm too womanish for that... need to catch me a new husband

I think I see what you say here, anyway, I hope I do. I found the remark from rainbowvein making things somewhat more clear. But that still doesn't really answer the question of the op, who experiences things that he tells us are getting too much for him to handle and not knowing how to handle them. Having been in his place i would like him to get some answers, but I do not feel qualified to give answers, what helped me might not be good for him. (and, btw, i didn't do anything to 'raise kundalini' things just started to happen and slowly I got it through my mind that the things I experienced were commonly called the raising of kundalini (or kundalini syndrome, depending on which source i was looking.)I've no ideas whether that is correct language, but i had a hard time with it for sure. So, when someone is in need of help in this kind of situation, i would be happy if he got it)

I would like to know how you compost 'toiletries'. As soon as i'm healthy enough and have my energy-level reasonable I'm gonna try to sell my house and move to a smaller house with a bigger garden in the north of my small country where it's less overpopulated. And this is one of the things I would like to try. neither does woman

What vK says is very much in accordance with what I'm taught. I want to add, my teacher explicitly forbids me to try to accumulate qi in the LDT as long as i'm still ill. He tells me i should play around with qi and only let it flow as it wants, and then out of the body, taking illness, pain, swelling and itching with it. even though I don't really understand it as yet, i can feel that it's good for the body (and the mind).

I would like to read this myself, is there a pdf version somewhere out there? Being without job and with less money than i need for basics that would be nice.. and after reading all your comments ( for which i thank you, it made a nice read) i would like to throw in another association popping up. you all seem to be of one mind that it's about change, in whatever way... the dream was of a butterfly, which is an animal that very beautifully shows us the nature of, real transformation.

Freedom begins with the game of chance.

for a post like this i would like a: thank you three times button

Go on, it's nice to read this. Never having heard of both authors, I'm a blank slate. I liked the way it became clear to me how entrenched we can become in ways of thinking when i read the OP. And liked the story too, both versions. The only thing i wondered about was: eh...something like: like its the sage thats looking down with a helicopterview on the changing butterfly-human business. But seems to me, no need to be a sage for that. There are people who are definitely not sages , who do remember one or several earlier lives and realize very well that these are just changing manifestations of eh 'reality'

eh.....you seem to be in touch.... it's raining soup here, and storming, and one of the beautiful row of willows in the meadow has , sadly, succumbed to the storm.

wanted to keep hitting that thank you button you do know what you're talking about

no telling what's next that does not matter at all be now is enough