blue eyed snake

thanks for explaining, everyday i learn something new

well, seems you're doing good, you've had a lot of advice already, i'll add a little more yes, i've looked, at your pictures that is. For now you keep the one that you're meditating, that's the best picture (and i think thats also something that you want to show to women) and the one where you're sitting. The other two you leave out. In the standing one you're looking decidedly stiff and your bedroom is not yet the place to show. If you want that, make it it some more womenfriendly...when you want women in your bed I think you should change some things. And on a datingsite you should give women a change to see your face well. Now, when the workplace decided they could do without me some years ago I had to start for myself. So that meant a website, so that meant picture of my face. And that was a problem for me. One of my sisters solved it for me. They have mounted a camera on a tripod and while I was drinking tea and talking and having fun with sis her husband made about a hundred pictures. Afterwards we've thrown away about ninety, and from the ten that were left two or three were deemed reasonable for my website ( I'm real hard to make a nice picture...) But thats the idea. let someone make a lot of pictures of you and also from the face, then take the most natural ones. yes, that's it, but when you rewrite it you might think of that woman you've had your lunch with. What would you have said when she asked you those question might be a better guideline than a policeofficer You're welcome Society needs all kinds of birds, and you're not the only one that's shy. Please try to see yourself as just what you are, being different is not being hopeless, unless you entertain that idea for yourself... And you see that its not hard in real life. So you did manifest yourself a woman ( I would say, dao made you both meet, you both needed that lunch together, even when you would never see her again. ) so that gives you courage to go out again, and again. Some people are shy, others are not. Makes no difference in their worthiness. I hope you slept well, Bes

yes, i think you're right, i haven't thought of it anymore but it came up now. This friendship was the first I had after my divorce, my expartner still lived with me at the time it started.( awful situation btw). So when it broke up I've asked him how this had come about, that I didn't understand it. He said that he thought that my divorce was so fresh that i therefore couldn't say that I wanted him. He couldn't imagine a woman wanting only friendship and horizontal fun... so, I was that not-nice-girl that was talking to strange boys out on the street...

and this is another yes..and no I know a woman giving relational therapy who thinks ( and acts) like this. But, some relationships really are abusive, either physical or emotional or both. and some marriages don't start up with a TTP, but with a "well, i had to get married, or, He wanted to marry me so I could leave parents etc. Some women really are ground to a pulp you know, and some men too by the way, emotionally that is. So even though I agree in a lot of cases, there are just as much cases that i would definitely advise a divorce and no new relation ship until you have got yourself together to a point that you don't choose the wrong mate again...

yeah, i noticed that, might be one of the reasons you're likeable

yes, and males are still instinctively searching for females that promise to get them those eight babies by having a young and beautiful body. They can't help it it's a subconscious tribal/animal thing...... true and not true, I mean..oh well the moment you know that and grow up you can bypass that. quotes from males, in personal conversation: male, 52 "I do not want a woman much younger than I am, I want some shared history, meaning having lived through the same age, having heard the same music, etc. I can't have that with a woman of say 30. But I do want a woman thats slender and takes good care of her body, as do I. Male, 62, was attracted to me but felt himself too old for me: "is it more pleasurable with a beautiful woman? ( he did put it much better, but I can't translate that in english, this was the gist of it) those are real men, consciously making choices against that animal/tribal nature. And both men were decidedly talking about horizontal fun, with me that is... And it's the same for women, of course we can make sensible choices once we have grown up...

some people say I've got more balls than most men, not always easy for a gal well, even though its not the spokes that count but the empty space inside a wheel, a wheel needs oil too, a little flattering is the oil of society?

My son did that when he was a kid, his classmates asked him for it when the class was going for an outing, and occasionally, i've asked him too. On holidays. He then walked to a special place on a high dune to do a rain-dance. Funny thing was, he's never troubled by rain, its just wet he says, but he didn't mind doing it for people he liked. and i didn't vote either, when you want to have a good crop it is not the amount of rain that matters, but when and how it comes down. Rain at the wrong moment will let your crop rot, at the good moment it will let it ripen and fill out. A hard rain early will spoil the tender new growth, but a soft rain will nourish it.

to go into that would be going far beyond the OP. Your general idea is clear to me , but could you enlighten this native dutch-speaker what you mean with : MK-ultra shills ? thank you

you're right of course, but i am a bit stupid

maybe, for the time being, ( or maybe longer than that) people with owner permissions can make a standard statement in the first post, starting with it. like: this thread is owned by me, i expect contributors to conform to...well, whatever it is that the OP wants. When they start with it, it is visible when you click open a thread on the startpage ( or whatever its called- the view new posts page) Until now I have never looked where a thread originated so the message from taomeow in a thread she owns came as a surprise, and gave me a bellylaugh.

I do think the likebutton is 'facebookish' .. it surprised me when i joined up here. I'm grateful there is no 'dislike'button, for both liking and disliking are judgments of a sort. And sometimes I read things that I know, would there have been a dislike button, i probably would have used it... ( so much for selfknowledge) and regretted that action the moment i did it. I'm not really a daoist, I've read the TTC a few times, that's all. Like, or noteworthy are judgements. But it feels to me that judging is not something to 'like'. Something like thankyou is more a personal and emotional expression i think, therefore it feels better to me. I can thank someone for a belly laugh, or an insight, or a way of putting something intowords that makes things clearer, i like the idea of a 'thankyou'button A whole row of buttons doesn't feel so good for me for about the same reason, I try to teach myself to judge less and to love more...aint easy yet.

that gave me a belly-laugh, therefore I 'liked' it

Those owls are just cute, Gulls are so smart...I remember once on a campsite, most everybody was on the beach and i was looking at this gull. Eggs are sold here in cartons, you have to 'push' at two little nubs to get off the lid. So this carton of eggs was in the shade just under a tent, the gull was picking right at that little nub... when he started on the second nub i stood up to save my neighbours dinner... My blackbird is still silently nestling, she's a beauty. I hope it will go well, i fear for the neighbourcat when the chicks come out but one may always hope. The cat has a bell because she's a real huntinglady, more like a small black panther. And my friendly neighborwoman just doesn't seem to understand the great honour the cat does her when little dead birds are deposited on the couch... and I've seen the first bat's hunting the first mosquito's. I always like these very fast and strange flying little animals of the twilight

shhhhh beware No, i just am not all that interested in food, and when I'm preoccupied with something I just forget to eat. So when i get sick and lose weight because of fever etc. It's always a bit of a problem to eat enough to get my trousers to fit again.

but Nungali was, i think he has a bit too much of that what DB has too little but do not take it too serious as 'women's advice', i'm a strange kind of woman, when I was young woman/ big girl i was part of a guys group, i never liked women much until much older. I liked being with those guys. looking at beautiful girls, going out and having fun together without getting laid by them. That would have spoiled the fun. And we all had profit from it, because I was there they were more accesible ( as a group) for girls joining. And I could go places without being alone, i mean, whenever some guy tried to get hold of me one of my buddies would come up and "own" me, telling mister X, hey, that's my girl, keep your hands of her, each of this group of 5 would do this for me, makes a girl feel safe ... it's a strange world we live in.. but I most always like your posts, in a few easy words you sometimes put more daoist wisdom then some other people in an essay

Hi Dreambliss, i hope you don't mind me butting in on this more or less male thread.. I agree with the 'trainwreck'opinion, i'm sorry to say it but it's true. Most women that are interested in a male your age have by now seen that profile and probably won't look again. And some people are on different sites, I've hopped four sites, and some guys i saw on every site, that's bad advertising. If you want to go trhough with internetdating ( as a sideline next to the real world stuff) make it short and catchy, nobody is gonna read such lengths of text. It's like, IRL you feel a click with someone, or not. And the same is for digital, a nice picture, some well chosen words should be enough. I saw that you had a age preference 18 and up...don't, that's a sure sinker. Keep it reasonable, like between 34 and 42, that will get you initial sympathy. Do loose weight, really. It be helpful and you would feel yourself better too, that'll give you some more feeling of selfworth, it's just plain nice to get your body in better shape, you're worth that you know. I'm slender, and males still tend to see this old body as attractive, I know. But when i get a message from a male who has gathered quite a lot more than you, who specifies: looking for a slender woman ( BMI included...) with long straight brown hair. well then he gets a message back that I prefer guys with a good body. But only because he started it, because he's the man wo just says this I want, as if it is a shoppinglist, that's what putting women of, for good. Try to have fun, go to a sportsschool or something ( mixed) etc, get out in the world and catch yourself a life, you're the only one who can make more fun of life you know.. BES

don't fall backwards, and you're decidedly not flattering me mister , it's not only the wording, but also the timing ( and knowing who it is that you're talking to) I think no woman wants to be looked over as a side of beef ( they want to be appreciated for their personality and their intelligence, thats what nungali is playing here....), and all women like to be admired for their bodies, and I agree that that is not an altogether easy task for guys

eheh, you were not talking about women, you were talking about how to attract women, there is overlap, but a difference too. not enlighted, no need to flatter me... right, problem with 'wanting ties'is you invest too much, want too much, you get stressy, imo dating should have an decidedly playful quality. Just have fun, be relaxed, try to be 14 again, just be. When something grows out of it, well that might be nice, whennot, well, there's more people on this globe It's the most sensible thing to do, problem is, lot of people are kinda scared about the whole thing. (s)he might think/ does (s)he like tis or that. am i...endless...just be. And I reckon, about a third of the population ( over here) divorces first marriage, so that leaves a big pool to fish in. I said the hunting on internet was good, IRL it was better, you meet each other in a place of shared interest, when something doesn't feel right you can just walk away without hurting feelings. And, eh, you know, someone may look great on a picture, have a nice 'profile'( with help from a friend...) and you meet her, and she is nice and what you hoped or expected ( pretty seldom already) and then she smell just wrong... I mean, that;s pretty important All that time invested... I found a very nice guy that way, lasted for over a year, and then he wanted more...like ties...living together...so blue-eyed snake was out of it. One bad marriage is enough for a lifetime. But the strange thing is, I had been very clear from the beginning that I did not want a 'realtionship' and he agreed, said he wanted that too, that I wasn't the right one for a relationship, but a good and playful womanfriend, let each other free to pursue other men/women.... and then, in the end, he told me he just never had believed i was serious....in not wanting him for relationship... now, can one of you guys explain that to me??? And yes, women can want to go out for friendship and fun. But they have to be very careful and choosy, some males are definitely not nice and potentially dangerous. But the societal code for women to not go out for fun is strong, it makes us ..'whores' that kind of ideas make deep grooves in everybody, while its utter nonsense. The only thing important is never to hurt somebody, and here besides the obvious physical, i mean emotional, not play with the feelings of the other, whether man or woman. People are so easily hurt

I dunno, i need a book "how not to get too slender" without eating things like sugar/alcohol/ refined food etc. even though, before that i had problems to stay on weight already... But for me when i changed eating habits the main thing was that i all of a sudden became conscious of the body as something that needs loving care, healthy food etc. Took me 50 years... But i think that's an important thing. People just don't think about it ( i didn't, well, i did a bit actually, my diet was already far healthier than average, but I wasn't conscious of it being my responsibility to take care of that body, to listen to it. and I know from a woman who started dieting that she had learned to really taste her food, ( dieting in a group, with weekly sessions lead by a creative dietist) like eat some " strawberryyoghurt" and then eat some real good yoghurt with some real strawberry's, taste the difference, for this woman it helped. She eats less and better quality and slowly lost weight, but that indeed means that she started omitting all those modern 'foods'

It's never been of much interest to me but i thought it a reasonable explanation. But I've become more sensitive through my life of the consequences of hurt to babies and small children, how pervasive the effects can be. What i said, poor babyboys ( and even more poor babygirls, but that's another story...) so the above mentioned explanation makes sense to me, and i do not like it one bit... My boy had problems in that area when he was a very small boy. One doctor said he needed to be circumcised, i didn't want it, another doctor ( a wiser one) told me "teach your little boy to play with it, so that he can slowly stretch it." worked perfectly

I don't agree with that, what resides in the pit are the written sentences, the records that someone has used offensive behaviour/talk/posting and is for that reason removed to the pit. The record remains in the pit, forever, and that is a good thing. But the person is free to come back into the forums. When i opened my account here that was one of the attractive features. That all and everything is kept in the pit. Not deleted, not shoveled away, just down there. What i think is more of an issue is the various 'records' we have in the pit. There are people who once in a while get pissed and shoot off something they probably later regretted There are people who regularly start to rant and rave bu who are adviced to do that in their PPD There are people who habitually ( and more ore less consciously) are trolling people who are difficult in other ways. I respect the way the mods deal with various 'offenders'( i'm o so happy i'm not a mod...) But the pit should stay a place where people, most people, preferable don't land. All those 4 catageries land sooner or later in the pit, but, as said before, we dont want the pit to get 'status' I think its new name should reflect these qualities. eh I've read all the books of judge dee, there is always a room full of dossiers, all and everything is there, what is that room called? in chinese that is?

for whatever reason, poor babyboys... but I've always thought that it was done for reasons of cleanliness. That living in the desert and the risk of getting sand in that sensitive area, with inflammation as result. When that inflammation spreads to the women the fertility of the group is endangered.

eh, sorry for butting in... this is the kind of thread that would fit nicely in the men's room, or whatever they're gonna call it... But I refrained from making sarcastic remarks ( i'm good at that, you just don't know it yet) Dreambliss, you listen to Nungali, he knows what he's talking about. After my divorce i've done some internetdating myself, good hunting...needed some fun ( and have always been clear about that, i wanted good friendship with recreative aspects, no ties ) That page you made, that's not gonna help you. I once had a nice date with a guy who had written something like, Who wants to go out with me tonight, there is a concert in..., after a chat we decided that there was initial interest and had a good night, just take a jump or something. So I know a little from the other side of that internetdating-picture, you want a relationship, with ties, well I agree wit MH, i prefer to be alone. But why do you try it via a datingsite? Go to places where spiritual types hang out and get to talk with them, ask Nungali or someone how ( and when) to flatter a woman ( yeah..it's part of the initial game..) Get off your computer and go into the real world, wish you luck and happiness BES

Josama, i think you're missing the point being made, spotless is not talking about names. I don't think he was talking about christianity either Rejecting christianity sounds fine, but...i never was a christian, brought up an atheist. Still, many of my unconscious ' beliefs' are formed by the christian mold that overlays the culture I'm living in. As long as you feel resistance to a topic, or a person, there's something in you that asks for attention, thats the way I feel it to be. A something that needs to be released or resolved, whatever. An issue to deal with. Maybe you see in these texts what pertains to you at the moment, as in a mirror sometimes..i thoroughly dislike my teacher ( the feeling is getting less though...doesn't come as often, or as strong, see, there's my ego talking...I'm a good girl....... ), and then I need to forcibly remind my self not to send out bad vibes to him. He stabs at my ego when i thought i had found some balance, he doesn't talk to me once in a while, and by now i know why he does that..he always pushes me out of my comfortzone, and then i create a new comfortzone, only to find he pushes me out of it... he's the best thing that has happened to me in this life, but yes, there are moments i do dislike him...at the same time loving him in a sense that is unexplainable. So my conclusion can't be different than: I dislike my own behaviour and thoughts and project that on him, and him being a mirror, I get it back in a very pure and unrefined state... to chew on that's my mirror i suppose... BES