blue eyed snake

still being attached to the serious side of me, i agree with that, I even suspect that it's quite a large part. What we're aware of, are the ruminations. Bot these are, i think, coming from unconscious patterns and emotions that we try to handle by this ruminations, something like that.

I have a small but persistent voice in my head that tells me: "don't take yourself so damned serious." I find it to be good advice.

thank you, but only for those who get it, My qigongteacher sometimes rambles on about forgiveness, he mostly meets blank stares... I'll give you another one Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ( here thinking of butterflies and some women , i like your butterfly collection! )

well, when the mirror-image comes back distorted, it's like a fun-house mirror, isn't it? So that means that when I don't like the image, i'll have to remember that, then it'll give me a laugh. ( just like some threads here give me a belly-laugh, every time i read further. I need to cultivate laughing and none of you will come knocking at my door or phoning me, that's what's making it a dry run

last summer I remembered the connection I had with trees as a child and went back to them. I'm healing myself and though sometimes I find myself giving other people little nudges, I will not attempt to consciously heal someone else. It feels like I'm not ready for that. My experience with trees is that they can be very generous with their energy, but there should be a 'fit' between tree and human. A tree that I connect with nicely might not be ' your' tree. And I would never try to consciously use them for anything. Its more a kind of merging, of balancing. They are very much their own, if they want to give/share I accept gracefully and try to give something/ my love back my two cents

discrete living, yeah, me too, I call it temporary playing the hermit. The temporary part is taking a little longer than I expected . Joining this forum is kind of a careful first step back to other people. I can easily end it just by closing this page, that's sort of nice at this stage, nobody is gonna call onto me. But it is, indeed, also a way to seek affirmation, it's nice to read people who are trying to find another way of dealing with this..life...world...whatever all kinds of mirrors are held up for me

made of mithril mesh, it won't yield from the outside, find softness within

thank you, that is what i'm trying to do, but still being unused to it I tend to ask for confirmation. I remember that when I had the symptoms described by the OP it felt as if my body was doing/ wanting two things at once. Deep abdominal breathing to calm the mind and give energy, on the other hand that the quick-breathing was related to a need to unfreeze my diaphragm. So my body had two opposite impulses which left me feeling choking. Now I find that while i'm doing standing posture, sometimes i find myself quick-breathing and then emotional release comes. That led me to the idea that emotion literally builds up in the diaphragm, like shoulders and neck can become hard with tension. I feel a growing interest in TCM and the way it relates to modern medicine and psychology.

thank you

well, when it is bodily things, sickness, you're far better of when you don't let yourself get down. And I'm finding that hard enough right now... I mean, when you start worrying about your health, or feeling you're a victim of fate or something. Your mindset will make you feel even worse. We are definitely not capable of the way master yu handles his sickness, but I can see that he feels better than I would, and that is commendable. I agree with you that there are things in our lives that we shouldn't accept because they are unacceptable, It seems to me that we could try to change things but at the same time we shouldn't feel to much connected to the result we get.

only when one is not going anywhere, the light will become one

Thank you Brian, I like people who can make some basics of their knowledge available to other people in simple language. The first part of your post I've read with much interest. same for the posts from von krankenhaus and seth ananda, they're clearly knowledgeble about the topics they post about and so give additional useful information

Thank you Open Dao, you've explained it clearly to me. I've experienced a lot of changes in my body, very slowly it's healing but there is a lot more to heal, that takes time. So when I understand your response, it's not strange that this initial effect 'closed down' again. There's just a lot more work to be done. And that is no news to me. about the second question, I see that i should have read your text more attentive BES

well, when you're standing up the head is definitely higher than the heart. Lying down there about the same height. My guess is that it is about balance

Open Dao, I would like to ask you two questions based on the quote here and the text on the heavenly circle. To begin, I'm very green at these things so please answer in plain english What would you make of the following: I've started medical qigong ( suffering from an condition that's deemed unreparable by regular medicine) and on the advise of my teacher doing standing posture almost everyday for about half an hour After about 6 lessons he stopped correcting my bodyposture so we can assume that's alright. Besides I started meditating, say 20 minutes a day. This is a class for people who suffer from several conditions, they're not much interested in theory, they want to feel healthy again. our teacher doesn't ask us to visualize anything, hadn't told us about the smaller heavenly cycle. But looking back I remember that he did advise me after a few weeks that I touch the tongue on the upper palate. after I think about 3 months I experienced what I now know is dubbed the smaller heavenly cycle. It felt as though a dry river just suddenly filled up. To be truthful I was shocked by it, what the h**ll is happening to my body. It was accompanied by a very sweet taste in the mouth, a lot of sweet saliva. Doing standing posture the sweet saliva effect is sometimes repeated, the initial feeling of a powerful stream is not. Though I do tend to feel something inexplicable 'moving' . Other things that just started all by themselves, without anybody telling me about them are inverse abdominal breathing and the spontaneous contractions of the perineum. Reading on the website. -- A pupil asked: There are some practitioners who feel by themselves like qi moves in a circle through the Ren and Du Meridians, and therefore declare that the themselves have opened these channels. This method of opening Ren and Du channels using thoughts and other such methods "guiding qi through the channels of the heavenly circle”, do they differ from the' way of the elixir? The Teacher of Single Yang answered: Earlier it has already been said about the principle that "if a body does not have a true seed, it will only be like using fire to boil an empty pot", and about its dangers for practitioners. These practitioners, feeling as "qi moves through the channels Ren and Du", accelerate the process of loss of their own Jing. This is a way of speeding up the approach of death, it does a lot of harm and has no benefits. It's just a wrong, a “side-road” method of practice. Our School of Wu Chung-Xu – Liu Hua-yang teaches a dual perfection of Xing and Ming, and what is called "heavenly circle" - it is really the "heavenly circle of the elixir’s way. " Once a student of the School produces a "true seed", then it will be not qi but rather the “true water” that will circulate through the Ren and Du Meridians, also the locations of its awareness will be different too. In the elixir way these channels are passed using the qi of the Previous sky, in that process of circulation from top to bottom a "sweet dew" will flow, directly sinking into the lower Dantian, and it happens in reality, not in imagination. As stated above in "heavenly circle" of qigong, its the external qi that rotates exhausting the body's jing. On the other hand, in the way of the elixir, the heavenly circle leads to longevity, it increases Yuan-jing and Yuan-qi in the body, but the "heavenly circle" of qigong leads to depletion of the Yuan-jing, leads to death. Once a student completes the "elixir seed", a heavenly circle of alchemy starts by itself and will last continuously, collecting the " small medicine", replenishing their own Yuan-jing and Yuan-qi, which has huge benefits and no harm. -- I'm interested in your opinion the other question: you say " Just think, do you feel how you're ageing? Nobody feels yuan qi being wasted on a daily basis. So feelings, awareness etc are not good friends here." That makes me wonder and i definitely don't agree with it. People become tired and tend to ignore that. I think in those terms, wasting their yuan qi. I know from myself and other people that we tend to ignore the signals our body gives us. Our bodyawareness is far to low. This is partly due to a culture that tells us to ignore it, just to go on in the rat race. True, you can't feel it diminishing on a daily basis, but you have an awareness of it that imo should be cultivated. I do not know how old you are, but middleaged people tent to feel how their energy is slowly diminishing and really old people, they feel it on a daily basis, they say: well, it's just everyday a little less... so I wonder how you've come to this statement

thanks for posting

well, i think it doesn't make much sense to talk about enlightenment as most of us can know only story's of what it is supposed to be. There seems to be a lot of consistency in those story's and they come from different cultures. It's like my little sonny...talking with a friend about physics, I've no idea who is right, but they do like it when I make tea for them. the so-called herd-instinct though, i do have ideas about. Imo it's fear, and i seem to remember that psychology backs me up there. There have been some experiments and what people will do to belong to a group is atrocious. Sure, it is wanting to belong, but the reason for that wanting is fear to be alone, cut of from the group. Fear to be alone is deeply ingrained in human consciousness, just as the fear for bodily pains, the fear for death. Now i 'm writing this, I think, underlying these three is the fear of losing control. And even when you see through this mechanism, it's still there, ruling you My two cents as for enlightenment, the only thing i'm sure of I'm far from it and i don't think I yearn to tread that path

7 storks in the meadow, spring is coming

you do not now this snake at all, but I'll refrain from getting too poisonous, to much work relating to the occasion. wish you luck and hope for you you never really get ill or have a real depression, even though that might be a healthy impulse to revise your opinions, BES

Thanks for your second post. I’m reacting because I recognize your breathing problem from personal experience, more than a decade ago. I can’t give you a TCM view but would like to give the western view on this. From the other posts I gather there’s a lot of overlap between the two. The way you describe it is a precise description of what western psychology calls ( chronic) hyperventilation. There is no need for it to be chronic by the way,so don’t you worry. It’s less well known as the acute version which can lead to panic attacks. But I remember very well the feeling of helplessness, of ‘what the hell is going on in my body” Reading your story you’ve got a lot of stress for a long time, i seem to read that something has closed now and a new beginning is opening itself? Both ways, the classic way to look at this is that the body will react on this kind of stress with the typical stress-reaction. There is a tiger, so all your body wants is fight or flight, therefor adrenalin takes over, heart and lungs are ready for a lot of action needed to conserve the body. Only, the kind of stress you’re dealing with doesn't give an outlet fort this. But the body reaction continues. Psychologist mostly call the state your in anxiety, and that is closely related to the fear mentioned in your OP. Tinnitus also is a sign of an overworked stress-system That means that for a long time you’ve been producing adrenalin with no bodily outlet. Results are double 1) you’re adrenal glands are overworked and depleted ( and this i think is part of the reason that TCM tells us fatigue has to do with the kidneys) and 2) you’re respiration is out of balance. Respiration has at least two components that are relevant here . 1) From the biochemistry point of view respiration is a fine balance between uptake of oxygen ( when there is shortage you get tired) and eliminating of carbon dioxide. The breathing reflex is controlled by the level of carbon dioxide in the blood, not by the level of oxygen. This is a system that allows for a lot of different bodyactions, works both when your running away from that tiger, and when you’re relaxing. Now what has happened to your body is that you recently tipped the balance over. Leading to the choking feeling you have. 2) Anxiety and high breathing are closely related, and I think that what was earlier called a frozen diaphragm is closely related to that. A lot of advice already given relate closely tot his western view, but for completeness i will repeat it First the choking feeling, I think when you ( start to) feel it, you should try tot take some action, a brisk walk if you’re able to, or when you need to stay inside something like pushups. This will elevate the carbondioxidelevel in your blood and should help. When you’re sitting in an office this is not feasible, you can hold your breath as I asked you before, breath out as slowly as you can and repeat a few times.. That's the short term thing. When you find this works it confirms that something with your carbon-dioxide levels is out of balance. A frozen diaphragm you can liken to the feeling you probably have in the neck and shoulders. It’s a muscle that is continually in a state of too high contraction. For that magnesium (citrate) should be helpful. Bananas and cashew-nuts are also good. Massage sounds good to, but indeed emotions can come out, let them go. Then you’re adrenal glands are depleted, and you have fatigue. Don’t take caffeine, theine, alcohol and chocolate. These all tell you’re adrenal glands to start working again. Caffeine serves to boost your stress system, while you need to get out of that circle. I think this advice is close related to what TCM says. Besides on a more holistic vein, if your body tells you that its tired, then give it rest, it really needs that. What you’ve been through takes a lot from the body, not many people realize that but its true all the same Furthermore, drink lots of water to help you body clean up. TCM says that it should be water, that other fluids the body takes as food and that water is the best thing to clean the body. Kidney-specialists tell us that for every cup of coffee we take, two cups of water are needed to process it. That means, one coffee, two water, net result for the watercontent of the body is zero. I totally agree with earlier comments on yawning and stretching, i’ve found them to be helpful. And in general, don’t worry about it. your body is fine, you can trust that checkup. You’ve just asked much of your body and now is the time to give it what it needs, that means both rest when you’re tired. Just lay down, take a good stretch and give your body that rest. But it also means real bodily action. Good food, go easy on sugar and refined foods, lots of fruit and veggies. Having fought that ‘tiger’ for so long not only means you’ve depleted your body but longterm stress also leads to an impaired uptake of nutrients. So, take good care of yourself and be patient,it took time to build up and it will take to heal but you will be fine again. Reason fort his long and somewhat technical post. 15 Years ago I've been searching long for these answers, all the while getting worse because I worried about my body. You’ve been to a medical checkup and they didn’t recognize it. It takes time for these things to come in mainstream knowledge. You’re not having tingling or dizziness, and you can hold your breath for a minute, I think you just recently ‘tipped the scales’ so I think you can overcome this stage quite soon. So, not TCM but I hope it helps you. Wish you the best Question for members who have knowledge of TCM: I’ve an intuition that the frozen diaphragm is caused by this longterm stress. And that the body spontaneously tries to fix this by quick breathing.

may I ask some questions first, based on your story I think i have an idea what it is do you have dizziness? if yes at what time of day do you have a feeling of tingling in the face and/or hands other body parts, if yes at what time of day and is there an relation with the periods of breathing difficulties. How long can you hold your breath, i mean, not to the point of turning blue but just to the point you start to feel this is getting really uncomfortable do you have problems with vision do you have reduced concentration and memory

No, i didn't believe it, not even deep down. I believed it would be healthy for me to make myself at home again, that was just good advise, I didn't scrub the floor with salt water as she advised, i thought that BS The thing is, western psychology in general tends to say that placebo works because people believe it will work. That's the conventional viewpoint. Building a positive attitude and belief in yourself are the building blocks of cognitive therapy, Works fine for a large group of patients. Changing the mindset to positive things, believe you can do it. But for some people it doesn’t work ( cognitive therapy I mean) do they not believe, are they not able to believe? That's an insult for those people, I know people who feel insulted this way and feel the worse for it. Same with Lourdes, some people will find ( some) healing, others won’t. Is their Faith not big enough, should they believe more? Some posts ago I automatically started ‘debunking’ your ideas about the placebo-effect in the classic way, following the paradigm. You informed me I was wrong to do so, you were right. Old thinking habits die but slowly. Now it seems to me that you are following the ‘classic’ idea, its not modern western medicines so it has to be believing. believing as fundamental way of healing, That said, to believe that you will get better is surely part of the story, but in my opinion not the whole story. For the sake of clarity I will for now keep beetles and carbonmonoxid out of it. First, what is healing, the body is constantly healing itself. External influences injure the body, can be bad food, bad weather, a knifecut, bacteria, virus, overstretched muscles and a whole range of other, more internal things. The body heals itself, children have a far better selfhealing than elderly or ill people. Why is that? How does it work? Has modern medicine an answer to hat? I don’t think so. You made a split between biochemistry based medicine and some other things. You seem to think that healing by taking modern drugs is also partly by belief. western medicine developed out of herbal medicine. Here in the west we've gone that way and I agree wholeheartedly with you that it has many bad sides, but good sides too, we shouldn't forget that. Than you lump together faith-healing, alternative medicine, (vague term i fill it in as homeopathy for now) and voodoo and lastly you name acupuncture and qi-gong and likewise. I will skip homeopathy here and go to the directly energy-related items on your list. Traditional Chinese Medicine is old, older than western medicine. Just as in the west, it started with herbal medicine, but they didn't go the biochemistryway. They discovered how the vitality of the body is related to the flow of energy in the body. And with that discovery also were able to give an explanation for sickness that roots at least as deep as the western way. Imo the combination of those could give humanity much relief http://thetaobums.com/topic/37350-why-chest-pleasurepain-during-meditation/?p=605281 I had an experience like that. But you won't believe it, because you haven't experienced it. You would say that it is because I believe and I understand that wholeheartedly, because i didn't and don't believe it. I don't need to believe in the chair that I'm sitting on either. It's just there But science is slowly catching up, they are coming out with measurable things now. They have measured the large differences in the EM-field between the hands of healers while they are sendeg chi compared to controls.. And last winter I found some very interesting studies which made a start with making visible the meridians. Sadly I didn't keep them on my computer, I might try to find them back though. I've got a dutch one on paper that says that the normal emfield of a human is about 10 -6 Gauss, the healer did produce a field of 10-3 with his hands while sending. In my opinion healing that is not understood by the conventional western ideas is founded on energy/chi , what people believe is a factor that overlays this and is needed. And that is part of energywork. Taoism says something like: where your intent goes, your chi goes. meaning that you can choose a destination (believe), but when you haven't got enough fuel or the fuel can't reach the motor, you won't reach that destination. But as long as you think energywork is a belief, i won't try to explain how I think that it's working

eh, Nikolai, you're getting me hooked on this thread, I'll comment later, but for a starters. I don't think this can all be explained by believing it. I didn't believe those beetles would disappear for instance. And I didn't belief qigong would be working either, I remember the first weeks, i thought: "I'm crazy to be here and this socalled teacher is even more crazy than I am. But it worked anyway. And by now I have a deep respect for my teacher, but at that time... edit: btw. do you have personal experience with energywork?

question to the more knowledgeable members of this forum. sometimes while I'm meditating I hear/feel a kind of sound in my head. it is a sharp sound, like two wet hands clapping, feels like something is short-circuiting. When it happens, most of the time it jerks me out of it. When it happens and I go along a strange silky feeling invades my body and I float away in I don't know where. It doesn't bother me, but I'm curious if other people experience this too and what it could be