vtrader125

Just basic mindfulness

I don't know if this is normal but within a few minutes into a meditation I sometimes get a strange expanding cold feeling in the inner sides of my head. It feels like sinus sensation in my brain. Is this normal?

Was having a bad depressive episode, so I decided to do some santi shi, after about 5 minutes, I realized that the edge of the depressive episode was taken off. That intense feeling subsided. Are there any other standing meditations that could also work, but not as physical as san ti shi? I find that standing meditation is more easier to have more body awareness then normal sitting meditation.

I think there is a difference between having sex to get the next dopamine rush for the sack of it and pure sexual extasy bliss with the right person at the right time. The later being rare.

Depression and opposite of true self expression. I noticed this when it clicked, I went from low energy apathy to a explosive jump into the air rage smash through a brick wall rush. For moment a feeling of the real me wanting to come out. Is there any thing to help in releasing this energy of self expression? Is there some form/kata or meditation?

You are right in away that young guys waste that energy, but at the same time don't disregard it. Take advantage of your youth and instead have maybe phases. Like for a few months have lots of sex, then for another few months don't. Take it from someone who has never had any action and is a lot older, that notion of use it or lose it, applies.

A long time a go read a book I think called the way of the superior man . In there is mention something about ball breathing, basically, breathing in though your nose down your chest to your balls and up the spine to the head. Apprently in a random forum I read a few year ago, in anecdotal experience people said that felt more masculine, charsmatic and attract females strongly. Anyone know of this and experience this?

Have trouble getting to sleep and staying a sleep. Also since doing the nofap noticed this adds to the problem somehow. Sleep only for 3-4 hours. Are there any exercises, meditations, something I could do to solve this insomnia?

Here I am sitting on my own in my room trying to figure out how much of a failure I am, why I have no purpose, on and on and on. Then I just told myself "STOP the noise, STOP the distractions." The question is not why this or that is happening to me or why am I a failure. The real question is How can I be...serve....the universe? The universe is huge, tomorrow this planet could be gone, all the noise and distraction mean nothing. Only thing that matter is that in this moment now how can I be part of the universe, how can I add to it? The focus is flipped from the world happening to me, to how can I happen to the universe? I guess thats why our lifes are so short, we have such short attention spans and driven by our egos and ego imagination. Anything longer would be wasted even more. Whether you agree or not with what I have written is not important, they are just words and symbols of what I feel, which has no language to give an accurate definition. At best beyond words is self expression, the purest form.

The Unfettered Mind:Writing from a zen master. How do you guys pull the wisdom from such titles? These types of books for me don't present straight forward wisdom in bite size formats, instead it feels like you got to read the entire section and have an a-ha moment.

What do I want to do, not really sure anymore. If I let go of the feeling of missing out, I don't really care for relationships any more, I just accepted being on my own. In a funny way, the feeling of missing out, being alone is less intense when I realize that those opportunities had not really existed so I have nothing to really miss out on.

Ah-ha moment, Went out with a couple of work people, as usually was invisible, people kept bumping into me, left out of conversations, women well leave it a that. Then I started running the mantras from the above posts, observing myself as a witness, slowly this need of mine for acknowledgement, permission etc, etc faded away. I realised that being at peace with yourself is more liberating then having the need for attention et al. I sat there in peace just observing this race of animals called humans. Did everything do a 180 when I released these attachments, nope, but something more important happened, I was at peace with myself, I wanted nothing and wished everyone the best. Social anxiety was non more for that moment in time. I did not care that I was being ignored, I just had this genuine natural smile just appear on my face.

I've started reading a book called unbeatable mind, it's written by a navy seal. Who happens to be into zen meditation, for which he acknowledges helping him control the monkey mind so he could become a seal. One of the parts of the books deals with finding the 3 P's, Purpose, Passion, Principles How do you guys figure this out, everytime I try I get a feeling of internal conflicts and if's and buts? Also I get a blank mind, the only thing I really know is that my current situations are not part of the 3 Ps.

Had an interesting session of san ti shi. Was in a angry state so decided to do san ti shi, put the last of the mohicans soundtract on. Wow, within minutes in my pose I think I got in to a meditative state, because I started to feel where the uncomfortable pain was just an observation, my vision became the fuzzy sharp, even though I had thoughts, they felt more in the background like the outside street noise. I could feel this fearless presence within my wanting to express itself. I felt like I was on top of a mountain and large thunderbolts striking around me, I felt I could take anything that was thrown at me. OMG if this is what it feel like when the you lead with your energy and not your concious thoughts, imagine what could be possible?! I wish I could experience this for much longer then several minutes. The feeling lasted for a few minutes after I finished, however it start to go away quicker as soon as I started to think about writing this post.

If this is the case then it sound like some guys will have more, some guys will have less and then like some guys will have none. So be it.