vtrader125

Sometimes seeing another human truly suffer kills all but a few attachments in that brief moment. So much noise that blinds us to what really connects us.

Here is another thought, embracing those things that I resist. I've found that when I accept the me now, the results(even though they stink of failure) they are just that results. I don't pretend to be something I am not, When I embrace this now of not being the smartest, most intelligent, successful, attractive, wealth, etc etc, I feel a certain freedom, a little spontunaity in myself. I feel just being myself a little more then before. I feel like making improvements at my pace, I know I am not going to be the best, but I do this within my sense of freedom. It's ok that I end up on my own, a loner, single, not amount to anything. I've also feel like have no trouble telling people who think what I should be to "with respect go f^&k yourselves".

Steve, I'm trying that Art of Mushin program. The first parts is focusing on a object, the second closed eyes breathing into the third eye, the third breathwork the fourth and fifth more about visulisation negative and positive energies in and out. But as I don't have always access to the media because I turn my laptop off, don't look at my phone for an hour before bed. So I do a variation unguided of the first part which is just looking at a blank wall for a few minutes.

woooshh, thanks but everything I read in the last page has gone over my head, to much for my brain. Let me give you guys a more context based example. My job, deadend job, it bores me, it feels like I have failed in life. It has grown in to a fear in applying for jobs as I think I will end up getting another job of the same type and nothing better. What attachments should I let go off? BTW its diffcult to maintain that detachment when you spend 9 hours, most of the day in that environment that is more disempowering. Gratitude only works for a short time, after 9 hours I just don't give a fudge.

Some times having no attachment is bad as having attachment? What I am trying to say is sometimes experiencing new things is part of life, and that sometimes requires striving towards it. As long as this forwardsness towards an experience is done without wanting/lacking state of mind, instead just out of playful curiosity and the joy of life is a just as calming state as complete no attachment. For example owning a nice house, car, wearing high quality clothes, eating high quality food, making love to beautiful women, earning good money from a vocation that you enjoy etc, etc. While I don't need them, from a calm state I feel a wonderful experiences that they could be to add to life. However the reality for me is the complete opposite, I guess that is why I don't experience any of those things, they don't even seem like a possible reality for me.

ok guys, I think I found a position that works for me, bascially sitting on a stool with legs loosly crossed. My back does not hurt and remain straight naturally. But I have been experiencing some strange visual distortions. I start of with eyes open after a few minutes my vision gets strange, everything becomes overly sharp and fuzzy(its like adding to much sharpness in photoshop). Is this normal?

OK so I have recently been reading a book about the power of surrender and letting go. The idea is you become aware of the negative feelings and let it complete its job. The idea being once you stop trying to resist it the quicker it will turn into something else. Also you start moving up the emotional scale with apathy/depression on the low end to love on the upper end. It says once you get to the anger stage, this where the motivation to do start doing things will come back. The thing with these books is that they don't have a type of 1,2,3,4 steps guide, instead it's just vague "feel the emotion and let go" advice. There must be a more powerful way of doing this?

thanks for the responses. Not specific about relationships, but I am rubbish at that, it's a more general feeling of being a failure, loser in everything. Not good enough for anything. I am stopping the habit of complaining about it unless it has some context that could be helpful. I can;t pretend that I have not had huge failures that would be just trying to hide from it as I am living in the consequences of them. As a result I know that I am going to always have to work a lot harder, even if the result ends to nowhere. People judge like crazy. Look I know that most people will always measure you from your past success and failures, be it professional or personal settings. The idea of letting go of attachment is to free my self from the emotional bondage that keeps my spirit down, and the release my self from the mental blocks of creating options.

Well with the mass refugee situation in Europe at the moment, parts of Europe may look different in 25 years time. Need to look at the positive of the situation, as long as their ends up with more hot women from a mix its all good I guess

One of the truest moments of when I have felt no attachment was when a bigger calling would knock my out of my ego, that feeling of higher purpose. I know that somewhere exists a sublime universe size truth which destroys fears and egos, that releases a sense of eternal freedom. Can't remember how to get there though.

It's more persuasive then that, feel like have failed in this game of life, certain events, results remind of that failure. I know that I should be grateful for being alive and having shelter and food etc, when surrounded by people who look like they are more successful it does not help. It would be easier to be grateful if I were in middle of a war zone, but Im not, I'm surrounded by people who are living a good life at least on the outside.

why is his stuff so expensive????????

Keep forgetting to mention as usually dive in to training, but the teacher said will add some qigong warm ups to future training. On a more practical note, for those who have broke that 20min wall of san ti shi, what benefits/magic do you get/feel? How do I get past my plateu of 10 minutes?

I don't know but I think maybe I stop practising. After another session had another core belief rise, or should I say exploding realization. I intense feeling of how much I have screwed up my life. I know it's al relative and should be grateful for life, but it does not stop the obvious ways and results of how I have messed up and the intense feeling of regret, shame end of the road feelings. Maybe my feeling of not connecting with anyone has something to do with feeling a failure within, who wants really be around failures. Xingy is feeling like having a band aid ripped of with a knife slicing into the top layer of bs excuses and showing what truely is the real issues.

Another interesting thing happened, in the chaos of the emotions I felt a genuine feeling of what feels right true for me, like what type of people I want to be surrounded by, the type of character I truely am, the type of purpose my life connects with. But I don't have specific answers to them, just a deep inner feeling, sense. like the job I am doing at the moment is not right for me, I don't just mean the same level of complaints that a lot people have about their jobs. But a more intense feeling of my true self has a more important purpose in the bigger world. Difficult to explain. Same thing with people, now I am not the type to ignore people but at the same time I feel more empowered by finding people with the more energy that is empowering. Its like sensing the noise and distractions from the truth? Does this make sense?

Yesterday after my training with the teacher, I had some very core beliefs I guess pop up. I had a very intense whole body feeling of rejection. Walking home from the training session with many people I had a feeling of not only being invisible but also of seeing people enjoying themselves made me feel like everyone would reject me. I really wanted to scream out to everyone to f&*k off. I don't have these reactions when I am just exercising normally or practising at home, its only after a long training session. While I did feel rejected I also realised now is a opportunity to focus inward and truely build an iron steel inner strength. And take a step toward self actualising(Marslow?). I also feel comfortable embracing my faults and short comings without any doubt. I also felt I like I can assertively tell people NO without hesitation of trying to find reasoning. If I can only stop the mental noise of bs/distraction I think I can make much deeper and longer progress. Any ideas??????? Thanks

Has anyone here managed to achieve that samurai level no mind? That state where there is no fear but absolute intuition and awareness of all but at the same time of nothing. From what I read it takes years of martial arts and meditation practise. Has anyone found a more quicker way? At the most basic level it is getting to that stage when you can put you stop thinking with everything else, and have absolute presence of the now.Fear is gone because of the total acceptance of everything and judgement of none.

So far my self awareness feels like is growing. Most important, my feeling of social rejection is lessening. Don't get me wrong I still find myself being invicible but this time I am caring less about it. It feels like my inner energy/strength is of more value then the opinions of other people, as long as I am strong within I don't care if the world rejects me. I feel my authentic self expression trumps the expectations of the outside world. Now the challenge is getting rid of all the years of bs to get at the authentic self expression(any ideas?). On the physical side, I feel more assertiveness and assurance in my movements, I wonder what I will be like in several months time?

Reading Bruce Lee's Striking Thoughts(also recently Tao te Ching), sounds great and a few ahh ha moments. But how do you actually apply the information?

Reading Bruce Lee's Striking Thoughts(also recently Tao te Ching), sounds great and a few ahh ha moments. But how do you actually apply the information?

What is the old ways understanding of concepts like self esteem/worth, what were the exercises/methods to increase it?

Strange experience in my san ti practise at home. Normally after 2 minutes every second after feels like discomfort, but today something else happened. I managed to hit 10min on one leg today, but I also experienced some intense leg shaking. It feels like my legs were vibrating so hard that I was going to take off into the air. At the 6min mark it did not feel like painful discomfort, it felt as long as I kept my mind clear I could go on for ever, the shaking felt more like a massage then discomfort. Is this what you guys experience? Do you guys have any tips on how to cultivate more of that feeling that lifeforce has described?

hmmm, I'll need to start writing down my thoughts in a journal as suggested. So far one thing i've noticed is that my home practise lacks the energy jump I get when with a teacher, also I don't get that swagger feeling. I feel more exhausted and lazy after training at home compared to with a teacher. Another thing I am begining to notice after xingyi session is that a feeling that my lack of success in life is down to more to do with my spirit not being as alive, if this makes any sense. I'm lacking that feeling of authentic self expression as Bruce Lee said. I am seeing more clearly how depression is pushing this spirit in my down. Also is there a such thing as over training in xingyi, as somedays my san ti times are a lot less then my best?

How well can the inner smile work for depression? Does anyone have a simple how to for this method?

I'm thinking a big drain of energy comes from the feeling of rejection. What would be the opposite? Is it detachment from the outcome?