Arya

Hi, yes it may seem so. What I'm talking about is completely opposite to our current society and it may seem alien to you. It's ok. I'm doing for 90-100 days of abstaining from ejaculation and I'll come back to reaffirm all this. Really, knowing female nature is for my own safety and protection. Male nature is very closely tied with their libido. It's blatantly obvious to me. Good day!

I think sex has a bonding process, and with female that deteriorates after every lay but with males they can bond with infinite number of females. So female virgins are sacred/ There must be some dynamic of jing/chi/shen in sex. I have a very strong distaste for women who have been with more than one partner, sexually. But I'd have intercourse with them - just won't wife them, lol. I feel bad for these females.

No. This is important to know because sex is something we as humans partake in and it has consequences and for some people, they may be dire. EVERYTHING you do in excess besides food, water, clothing, shelter & medicine is for the females. IT is for the females. Everything. It's absurd. That's the truth.

You affirm my point. Jogging may help but it won't make you a star runner or make you win a marathon, both of which are high attainments, just like being a celestial through meditation is higher attainment compared to meditating with minimal gain and probably neither confirming higher birth in neither celestial nor lower realms such as human so you're just stuck in the middle. That's my take on it. Meditation without renunciation is just a waste of time. You could be cultivating worldly skill. If you're meditating right/have good faith then you wouldn't want to be in society anyways because the bliss is so strong and requires seclusion to cultivate/perfect. Maybe you haven't probed deep enough in your psyche to know how renunciation clears away MANY obstructions to proper meditation and seclusion even more. They clear away karmic propensities.

I think that meditation is for those who want to escape the sensual delights of the world, in the process becoming Gods or adjoining the High Divinity or even completely abandoning the cosmos(by becoming immortals). If you're meditating without that purpose then it's useless. You should be cultivating worldly skills instead so you can delight in sensual stuff.

My point is that loving or not, you have to be prone to violence if you want sex & intimacy. That's just the way it works. Would you not defend your women and the love between you? You would. That's my point. I believe that in past lives we have committed atrocities and killed in the name of love. It may run deeper or whatever. But you're treading on metaphysical grounds which aren't worth exploring. There is a strong man who protects his weak women, and that's all.

Let me tell you, if you go on without having a sexual thought for a few months then you'll realize that the damn body has automatic mechanisms when sighting or hearing the opposite sex. It's not something you can control consciously, not that I know of any way. Being in meditation might suppress it but I haven't tried that approach. Well, if you're serious about meditation then you shouldn't be in society anyways. That's why after attaining awakening/immortality the karma of the body is left with all it's karmic propensity but the realized persons cannot/do not act on them because their mind knows that it will lead to further 'I' or 'self' making.

I really want to make love to a celestial goddess. I know they exist. But I'm afraid they won't like me with this pathetic, disgusting human body. AHAHAH

Hi, the solution to your problem would be to please your mother, wife, girlfriend by becoming an attractive man who is skilled in martial arts, fighting, arts & crafts and different skills to succeed in life. If you have looked at pornography, which involves hatred and humiliation against women then the best way is to please women with love and attraction. I am pretty sure most negative entities only attach to you if you have some ingrained hatred against females in general and how they've wronged you. Cultivate SYMPATHY for them along with love and see how flawed they are & even how selfish, unreasonable and wicked they can be when they don't get what they want. But override all those negative emotions with sympathy and then have SEX with a nice girl, who has preferably been with very few partners - I don't think it is right to have sex with a virgin before marriage so that's out of the picture. Mundane problems need mundane discernment and you are relying on some magical cure so much. It requires hard work, determination and resolve. PLEASE YOUR MOTHER & FATHER, that is the only way.

You know what? The want for sensuality indulgences deeply ingrained tendencies, motives and actions. From pondering and contemplating, probing my psyche, it's quite obvious that you have to and WILL intend to hurt other beings if you want to sleep with women or have relationships with. Her attractions is also DEEPLY tied to this. That you can kill for her - that her companionship & safety is that valuable. If you don't have to kill or hurt in this life, know that in future lives you will have to because that's what comes along with your desires. So the violent tendencies have a reason, you've killed not just for your wife, children, family, friends, country but also you've killed because you didn't get what you wanted or just for the fun of it. So I don't think deep spiritual progression can be made when you're young and in a relationship unless you're secluded from society or live in a very, very safe locality and even then you will progress very slowly and might make it to an upper realm in the desire sphere but not high divinity which is also good I guess.. This is WHY women are so magnetically attracted to men with strong builds and even I am attracted to men with a strong build but more of an admiration. This is why men are attracted to weak, damsel-in-distress type women who are attractive. The psyche takes over, it has a very powerful hold that just overrides everything. It is what causes war and kiilling, andso forth. So if a female gives you her lust, then that is binding you to the desire realm, binding you strongly. The bliss is so powerful for anyone who hasn't experienced deep meditation that it is what naturally drives men and frustrates those who are incapable of attaining it. You could view the female body as disgusting, putrid, ugly etc. and even then the bliss will override.

Hi, I have felt these thoughts in my body. They are a mix of dread, violence and so forth. The 'subconscious' has overridden my psyche many times lately and so I have stepped back. They only show up when once makes an effort to renounce sexuality, at least for me. When scanned over, especially lower in the body, the thoughts or 'mind images' have been horrifying. Tearing, crushing, piercing - painful. So that's what comes out when you let go of your most primary urge as a being with desire - sex! Why does this happen? My guess is that you have anger towards your mother and females in general. How do you get rid of them in this life? Do what's right, became a rich, handsome, strong and capable man whilst developing virtue & love and then the feminine 'yin' reality will love you back. Then your life will be at ease. All blockages removed. But that's hard work ain't it? And women don't reward who aren't hard working or have passion. Same way, meditation doesn't reward persons who aren't hardworking and discerning, capable. Both are roads to bliss but lethargy and being hesitant, wavering will end your doom. It's about bliss overriding pain. Opening up to phenomenal reality and taking what you want. Then you can die in peace.

Hello again, friends. This time my concern is with 'reverse breathing' aka lower abdomen contracting on inhale. I have read older posts on the forums about it and it is also called 'embryonic or fetal breathing' if I am not mistaken. Anyways, I started doing this type of breathing automatically earlier this year when I abstained for a few months. It started after about a month in. As such, I never looked it up or anything but I used to lift weights and then when I quit lifting weights I made an attempt to develop what I called 'Jhanic breathing' i.e. whole-body breathing. So to successfully do this type of breathing, contracting the lower abdomen and expanding the diaphragm was the only way and it was effortless. Breathing this way started to raise my awareness, improve cognition, metabolism, health etc. I started to look younger, more vibrant and started to refrain from bad habits, with ease. It made me flexible, greatly increased strength & stamina and removed body tension, especially at the neck region. A lot more benefits but basically it changed my whole state of being. But what happened was that I started sucking in the female's 'jing' as the wise Mr. Drew Hempel had stated. So I got addicted to that for awhile but never did it that much because it drained me and then I wanted to have sex and intimacy or whatever. Now it's going to be two months with abstaining so far and I had unconsciously stopped reverse breathing somewhere in the middle of this and so I have become quite stupid, and paranoid, even a bit insane. But I started doing reverse breathing again today and feel great again. So the problem is that people behave strange when I do reverse breathing because I am basically not afflicted by lower emotions if I do it albeit at the start there is like today I was incredibly afraid of barking dogs but it smooths out and then there's not much emotion. That's why I stopped doing reverse breathing because I was probably sucking in female's energy by default, which I am afraid of honestly and people behave strange. I could do reverse breathing all day non-stop because it feels that good and the benefits are insane. But another problem is that I only want to do reverse breathing now cause that's what feels comfortable. It's hard for me to breathe 'normally', and I don't know what to say about that. Okay, so I looked up the bodies of the Jinas - here, take a look at their bodies - https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/85/Tirthankaras.jpg/800px-Tirthankaras.jpg Slim waist, large chest, small genitals and various other features make it seem like they only 'reverse' breathe. Jinas are parallel to Buddhas from the Jaina religion. Basically perfectly enlightened but they stay nude and a perfectly enlightened being has the perfect body. This is the shape my body takes after constant reverse breathing. Anyways, are their any detrimental effects of breathing like this? That's what I wanted to ask. I'll end the post here because apparently I'm having a strange sort of orgasm from all that reverse breathing. Wow!

Wow, so much excess of dopamine. I am going crazy.

I wouldn't advice anyone to reverse breathe unless it happens naturally. My experience shows that reverse breathing causes very powerful spiritual urgency if paired with celibacy. So I have been doing deep abdominal breathing, pushing everything in the lower body DOWN but not with too much force and felt pleasant surges and a 'child-like' feeling again. So that must be the dopamine being produced by breathing in such a way. So deep abdominal inhale and then making an effort to RELAX the whole body on the exhale and just that, no exhalation of air is to be done and if it happens then that's fine, it should not be controlled. But actually marking the exhale with *only* relaxation is making me feel great. My dad was out in the sun today and he was like, 'oh, it's so hot, huff, huff.' while I am sitting here feeling cool in all the heat. Actually the bliss is always cool is what I've observed. Anyways, forcing reverse-breathing is kind of dangerous if you are not 100% sure you want to advance in conciousness and forcing it in general. So it kind of muddled my conciousness because I wasn't into spiritually progressing that fast and there was too much stuck energy around the middle of my chest. Deep lower abdominal/hara breathing is the way to go. You have to be grounded.

I watched the documentary and he said sadness is a deep trigger. Which was triggered by his wife dying. When I want to cry, like today I was about to cry a bit but couldn't cause I felt like I've let down my mother who's done so much for me and wants the best for me. Being ungrateful and ruining her investment in me. Even though she might be insane and completely behave like a mad woman at times. Anyways, I read a Japanese comic book last year and a character I liked, she commits suicide, so I cried for 2 days straight but during that time I would breathe in A LOT of air. That episode pretty much cleared off my childhood trauma to a hefty extent. But I also became weak and pale. So it was worse than death at first but a sort of catharsis. So sadness is probably converted into compassion. Cause I read a monk say that crying is when compassion fails. The compassion comes from love of humanity and even other beings. The adrenaline overload reminds me of the first Jhana. Jhana is done by progressive relaxation and breathing into the whole body.

yeah, but how do I prevent it from going out the eyes. I get bloodshot eyes from it and feel the energy going out. So this is going to happen if I stay in society now and it seems irreversible unless you know how to reverse it. But with these powers I can start a whole harem if I eat a LOT of food and keep on doing 'whole-body' breathing or I read it in a occult book once, the guy called it pore-breathing and it was a very advanced stage. Anyways, I like doing this type of breathing but then I became a prey which is actually my own fault ultimately. Now sexuality expresses itself through my body because there no thoughts in the brain so I have to stay away from people because I get intrusive thoughts which is really horrible if the energy is stuck in and around my genitals. Actually I was making an effort to cultivate 'love' but it turned to intrusive sexual scenarios with people so I don't know what happened there. I am trying it again while keep the awareness only on the upper body to cultivate 'love'. But I have opted honestly to devote my youth to self-improvement like learning more skills and what not. Take up martial arts and learn arts & crafts. I don't find the female body THAT attractive, in fact it's easy to see the disgusting nature the of body now but the EMOTIONS associated with sex have a very powerful hold on me. They are something which override every barrier. Although I want that kind of body. The picture which was linked before by me. I want to attain that body.

So, yeah, I found out today that sadness isn't an option. Anger just overpowers everything in entirety. You mention orgasm but yeah, I orgasm just in the presence of females now. The practice of doing the 'no sexual thought' practice, I think, opened something up in my head. --- Anyways, I went to the gym today and did squats, bench-press, push-ups & pull-ups so during the start of it, I was doing belly breathing because it came normally to me then after I did my bench-press, the reverse breathing started automatically and I knew some girl started fancying me. It was strange because I'd be the least muscular guy in the whole gym. I'm incredibly lanky. If I looked at her then the bliss would start. I was throwing the medicine ball and it burst so some really bulky guy who was sitting on the bench-press seat got angry with me even though it landed very far away from him. So combined with the female oogling at me and this guy getting angry with me, I had energy to do some more sets of push ups & pull ups. But right now as I'm typing this, reverse breathing comes more natural to me and I've ate a lot. But right soon as I ate the chicken, anger becomes dominant. From eating chicken I've also had very troubling intrusive thoughts like my feet clawing people and also my head moving like a chicken when I'm trying to relax. I don't know if the head shifting from side to side at fast speed is related to eating chicken but it seems eerily similar. I watched some chickens on youtube recently and yeah, that's how my head moves when I try to relax or meditate. These are not organic chicken mind you. I'd take sadness over anger anyday - it's a more preferred feeling than anger, anger is terrible. I don't know how to get rid of it besides sex. I've left the path of meditation for the moment. I'll take up martial arts.

I don't know. When I stopped paying attention to breathing i.e being mindful at all of my body, feelings, mental phenomenon etc. in the middle of this streak then I started going insane and had incredibly harmful intrusive thoughts. THis is what I get for abstaining from sexuality? Wow, the mind is an abomination. Only meditation could quell it. But when I sat down to meditate, I could not breathe i.e. belly-breathe which I was making an effort to do as I had forgotten about reverse-breathing. Then the day before my nocturnal emission, I started doing it and then I felt great & energetic. Basically belly-breathing was not possible about 2 months into retention because there was too much stuck energy, possibly, beneath and around the heart. So I could not breathe that way, it was very uncomfortable. Now after that tension has gone, I can belly breathe fine and reverse-breathing doesn't come as naturally to me - have to force it. So I am going with abstaining again and this time I would overpower the intrusive thoughts & anger with sadness. Sadness from the fact that I do not have a wife or girlfriend because it tends to help till I get to the point of reverse breathing properly and then I'll feel like a God. Yesterday I went to the mall after masturbating and I felt like a GHost, seriously. COmpletely and utterly like a ghost. People would not even look at me and when I was abstaining for that long, I felt like a significant being and everyone would take glances at me and be kind & friendly to me, listen to me. My awareness decreased incredibly and life does not feel purposeful at all. Now, this is a reset and I have to plan out things in a different way this time. My whole practice is based on maneuvering around whole-body breathing and how to make it optimal and effortless.

damn it, I had a nocturnal emission for the first time in my life today well these two months were not beneficial anyways, although I learnt a few things, like proper morality. I'm leaving the celibate lifestyle and going back to working out properly. Meditation is for recluses.

What the!? HAHAHA! Why would someone want to enlarge their penis at all? If I do this then I'll become even more horny. As it is, I'm trying to shrink it in size and make it die off sexually.

thanks for the advice friends Celibacy helps with making clear the defects in my personality. I am going to do meditation but the practice I've settled with is the perfection of the four sublime states which are the qualities of the beings present in the highest divinity. Hopefully I can be of service to others..

How do I pass the time while being celibate. I need to better my human karma without relying on meditation. I never really developed any hobbies besides video games... ha .....

While living in the world, I believe it's beneficial to develop virtue rather than meditation. If I keep steady virtue and self-control then spiritual development will be that much more powerful when I do decide to renounce. Hopefully I can set up conditions, as I am still young to be in a community of spiritually-minded, conservative people but the western culture, is slowly eroding this in the minds of youth so obviously this means more people will become demons, hell-beings, ghosts etc. in their subsequent births. Definitely not celestial beings in any way. I just hope I am never born again in an era where there is globalization or even technology. What a huge mistake on my part.

Thanks and yeah, I think it is a tension/anxiety thing or some blockages clearing off to function in the world, might be. I go through 'levels of consciousness' with celibacy with change in behavior, voice, facial structure, awareness, focus, concentration, actions etc. But I've noticed that females quicken the process drastically, that is, when I am interacting with them in *the* proper manner. It's like they are somewhat of a quality control in regards to men. Okay, then it's time to cultivate awareness. But yeah, The orgasms I've felt from *looking* at females in my earlier posts - that was my own doing because I looked at pleasing parts of their bodies, if you get me. Now I don't do that. So of course, older or unattractive women don't get me excited or anything so there's no reaction. As I mentioned before this lady had a nice complexion and most of the staff was females there but some females just don't do it. Plus she smelled like mangoes. But there wasn't an extreme *blissful* feeling which comes up straight from the lower body in the case of looking at a certain parts of a female. So again, when I interact with female relatives there isn't this blissful feeling rising from the lower body but there is change in atmosphere that I can sense from being in female presence in general, and those who I don't fancy, like my sister for example. But the problem is that I rapidly start making 'generative fluid' when I talk to females anyways even there isn't blissful feeling. So it's okay if they want to take my energy but I refuse to voluntarily give it to them like I was doing before I think by looking at good-looking ones. Although, I need to be sure that I'm not losing energy cause I do really want to convert it into other endeavors. I just want to forget the physical act of sex. Erase it. But people keep reminding me of it with their behaviors. So there are links which I need to remove and maybe that's where emptiness plays a role.

I do metta but sometimes it's hard to conjure up in the presence of certain people. With men who do not know of this feeling(or aren't of good nature) and with women you're bound to get passionate. So, it's good for you if you can do loving-kindness whilst living in society. Mine isn't that strong so obviously I am not that pure of a person hahaha.... Whenever I do it, it feels like evil is weighing down on me very heavily and maybe I am open to psychic attacks from other people. I started doing it in the first place to kill off the evil tendencies in me but it's quite hard as I said. But I can visualize light much better now so there's hope.