compassion

I used to meditate many years twice a day, almost without fail. Lots of stuff happened, spiritual highs, bliss, silence, then coming back to this body, healing past wounds/traumas for several years. I seemed to attract many challenging events in life, that brought up even deeper issues, and I continued to meditate and meditate. Then I suffered a significant loss. Meditation became a struggle. From twice a day to once a day, to once a week, etc. When I meditate, if I really go for it, silence and other stuff is found. But this kind of motivation or focus is hard to find. It feels my heart just isn't in it anymore. Is there a way through this? Have I lost my way? Or is it time to accept this isn't for me anymore?

Thanks CloudHands. This is solid advice and exactly what I would have said before this crisis. For me, this worked perfectly, I didn't always feel like meditating but I still did. Basically this worked for me until it didn't anymore

Thank you C T. Certainly I had some idea of what meditation would bring to my life, and when it didn't, the reason to meditate was quickly lost. In some ways this was a crisis of faith. I took your advice, or my interpretation of it, and sat imagining myself meditating like I used to: with keen desire and focus. With particular interest in watching the resistance or anything else that arose. A number of memories surfaced and reminded me I still have a lot of work grieving this loss, which I focused on quite a bit yesterday. It occurred to me, that continuing to meditate after such an event, it's like the struggle parents have in staying together after the death of a child. It's an emotional minefield, with each partner reminding the other of the child, guilt and perhaps also blame. And likewise the same, meditation has for me has been about a relationship with God, and I have much to process still if we are to continue this journey together.

Thanks virtue. I did try this path, but struggled to find meaning within it alone.

Hello Everyone! I've been following AYP practices for about 18 months, with good results. Before that I was doing much my own thing, also with good results. I was reading with interest some other people's take on AYP, which is how I ended up back here. Felt like the right time to register and to see what was going on in the broader spiritual community

Thank you Chang. I ask for journey's companionship and guidance.