Taoway

I'm going to stock up on bags and bags of organic brown rice... ( can you believe a small 3 pound or so bag at stop and shop is only 2 dollars) And lots of cans of beans. I live in a basement with no stove or conventional oven so I have a rice cooker which has worked for most dishes ! I will be open and ready for any challenge that comes my way. I embrace having to live off of little. It sounds like a great place to start

Well the space I am living in is of a family friend who don't expect to move anywhere or kick me out. With tattooing it may seem like just a cool 20 year old thing to do but it's my only skill.. to draw and since many people still flock to get tattoos I can make a living out of it. I am currently in a shop paying my dues with out being paid. 5 or 6 days a week. I will have to ask to go in less in order to get a part time job. But once I start learning I can schedule let's say 3 tattoos a day 5 days a week. Little ones costing 100 to 200 dollars per tattoo... with that amount I can afford food and car insurance and once I develop my skill with the medium I may move to my parents or a place that is easier to live in. This is my last try at doing something I love with my life.. If this doesn't work out I will probably join a monastery because I don't plan on having a family and don't necessarily want to work long hours in a trade I don't enjoy. Plus an electrician apprenticeship may take 2 or more years. My plan in the next 10nyears would be to grow in this skill and use it to travel around.. and I plan to just live very simply for the first 5 or 10 years to save money for the distant future. Save money for a nice property and the ability to take care of my parents later on. That is great advice with the food question. When I get back to my space I'm going to organize the kitchen and make sure it's a space I don't mind making some quality food in. I don't do drugs or drink or really need any money for leisure or entertainment. I am very simple minded and am just glad I have a lot of books to read. I definitely see nothing nwrong with a construction job or a carpenter or electrician. Its just not something I feel I'd be very good at. I love exercise and work that involves manual labor but I'm very skinny and I don't think I'd be appreciated much in a job like that. For now my skill is with art and luckily tattoo art is something that is still in high demand. So I'll use that to my advantage and make it work.

Thank you.

Thank you for your advice.. I understand you're trying to give me a rude awakening of some sort but all it tells me to do now is to shut my mouth and shout my mind off and just do my best to ignore this unhealthy view and close my self off a bit from people. Other people and other men sometimes trigger that insecurity so sometimes I'm left with feeling like shit whIle trying to act OK on the outside. I already know how to treat and give my all to a women but my insecurity has become a belief that hasn't gone away so i just decided to let go of sex for now.

Ah women,they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent- nietszche An intellectual is a someone who can think of one thing more interesting then sex - Aldous huxley

Was going to re read the Tibetan book of living and dying but I for some reason I always put off reading :/

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When you say I am acting admirable I can't help be feel you're being sarcastic. Why am I admirable. I'm invisible in this world.

Sound advice.. thanks

And I've got anxiety women issues identity issue.. all of it. But for good reason. So I let that all go. I don't need a "women" and I don't need an identity. I can think little or my self and highly of the world. My anxiety will be relieved when I am done embracing a new way of life.

I don't know. I've never met one. A taoist I don't have a girlfriend anylonger. I am not occupying my mind with love or partnership anymore.

I'm sorry I don't agree. Sex isn't for everyone. I gave up on it and partnership.

I don't retain anymore. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. I just don't think about sex any more. It's not for me.

I've brought this up before so I apologize but I'm going to be straight up. A deep rooted reason as to why I just want to take that last step toward a celibate life is because of an average sized male part. It seems as I am young and girls my age are progressively gaining more and more partners. And more importantly preferences :'( that I'm just not genetically suited to give a partner in this genrstion what she feels she needs to be happy. I see on reddit or threads on the importance of this sort of thing and a majority of women really find it to be a determining factor since they are more sexualized then women in the past maybe. Often they all say something like length isn't as important but girth is what really matters... hmm you don't say? Well I'm not gifted in that department so I should just give up on that now shouldn't i? May be a rant or venting post. But really I don't think it's worth it anymore to try and please a partner especially if the majority of them have a preference for something so physical mundane and superficial. Why bother? Do any of you have any insight.. gonna need pretty deep insight. To counter this feeling that has pretty much been with me strongly for the past 2 years. And has been on my mind since hitting puberty. I mean it's no secret that the relevance and supposed importance of size has been pushed on me all through out my life. Commercials. Shows movies. Songs magazine articals. Emails on telling me Itd be in my best interest to buy their pills to make it bigger. I mean I know these sources of information aren't really that intelligent or wise. But as a young man in his 20s.. how the hell am I not supposed to be influenced or depressed by such things? How am I not to believe that almost all women my age are not also influenced by these things. There really seems to be no answer. And luckily I have more desire and reason to be celibate and devote my life to other things then just this insecurity. But this insecurity still has a hold on my life. And it's very difficult. Especially because I beat my self up about even feeling it. Since in reality it's such a silly thing to worry about. Yet everything in society and main stream life... tells me to worry about it!!

When I see newspapers and reflect on the time we're in I feel terrified. Like its all leading to something horrible. But then I look back to 500 or a thousand years ago and times were far worse. I understand we are now a more civilized world and it becomes a suprised to hear of uncivilized events but still.. the media fear mongers to the end of the earth don't they? I mean we're 10000x better now then if we were in the dark ages. Or all being buried alive with our Chinese emperor.

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Thank you

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I've been at that website for 2 years. It hasn't worked. And I'm still trying

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