ilumairen

I've been watching fear of the feminine play out in this way my whole life. One thing piles upon another and eventually there is an avalanche of emotion that is incomprehensible to many of the women who experience it. What's really sad is the men whose emotions become the avalanche are often just as confused.

Yes, which is why I continue to choose the moments that come, as they come - with as few filters as possible.

I don't much like goth either. My baby sister ascribed to it. She lives in a mental institution now. I could actually show you exactly where the concepts I am aware of came from. Most of them came from music, movies, and books. There is nothing to argue about. Haha I've discovered that whenever I find another's words as I found yours that there is some aspect of myself that can be found. I don't like arguing with myself, so I watch.

I've said as much as I'm willing to say.

Ok Karl, my non-conformity is denial of labels. I don't like them. Even as a child, I was seriously stumped and puzzled when asked to choose a favorite color. In one moment I'd like one color, and the moment would change and I'd like the new color set before me. Someone else chose the color 'red' for me, and eventually I developed an aversion to it. The philosophy you are trying to place me into, for the sake of your understanding, is the same thing to me.

I could actually tell you how I got here, in great detail. But in this moment the common ground brings much contentment. How's that for irrational?

Yes. And just in case I forgot...

Why not just plainly say that if one is going to play with these things one needs to remember to stay firmly grounded in their own bodies and the lives they are actually living? And don't forget water.. lots of clear delicious water. (Going all 'dire warning' isn't going to stop, and may actually incite, the curious - no matter how well intended the warning.)

Hi Karl and Nikolai, In your personal quests (ie the lenses that you see the world through) neither of you saw me. All you saw was what to fight for, and to fight against. I am neither of those things. I am. How I ended up here is my story. It's not all pretty, but I've made the most of it. And I've accepted and loved. I do accept and love. But your words are not who I am, or what I would choose to share.

And beyond this, to me, is a place where there is nothing to teach, as I don't know what anyone else may need. The best we can do, imo, is give them the space to find their own way. (And maybe point to the words of those who do know..)

Glad you're here Seeker3. I could use some female company on this topic.

That is your label; my heart is not rational. (It isn't irrational either.) The idea that this way means one is living as an animal is another construct. And more of 'that thing you do' - which I'm actually starting to find oddly charming. I don't ascribe to the notion of sin. But if I were to apply it to myself, sin would be the hurt I caused to people around me by unintentionally playing out old patterns created by my thinking mind.

BTW Karl, this is, to me, still about which label you choose to ascribe to me, and the difference between rational mind and heart. I still work, pay my bills, and feed myself. To me it is strange that you would think living primarily in the now would somehow negate these things. And yes, to an extent the future is predictable... (But again, you were insistent on 'long range'.)

I can't say with any certainty what a long range future holds, and I can't say with any certainty that I will be a part of what ever may come up in a future I can only conjecture about at this point. So I have the option to play out imaginary futures in my mind, or I can listen to the thunder and enjoy this moment. I like the thunder.

Why would you assume nothing matters?

My heart is not equivalent to rational mind by any stretch of the imagination. And I have little concern about an imaginary long range future that may/may not happen, and I may/may not be a part of. Nor do I overly concern myself with ideas of the supernatural or a collective consciousness. Experience is not the definition of, or the words used to describe, said experience. It just is. In the same way I just am. (PS You are doing that thing again - creating arguments for others, and then knocking your own argument down. )

Why do you hope so?

For me it isn't 'identical'. We are human with human limitations, and 'infused' with the light often referred to as 'divine' as well. This light can shine forth illuminating the world we inhabit, and it can be obscured leaving us to feel we live in a world of darkness. I've read that there can be unfinished business which calls a soul to continue to play out patterns. In this life I have actually experienced the playing out of said patterns. When I consider every moment a springtime/rebirth it becomes clear that unfinished/unexamined patterns (past life information) does indeed find it's way into the incarnation of this moment. How far back this has been going on is not as important to me as being aware this moment.

I meditate, in part, to remember that the focus of my practice is internal, and to let go of the places where it has become other than this. And boy, do I need that reminder sometimes.

For me the 'heart' is the spring from which positive attributes flow. It is only a 'capacity' in that this flow can be restricted by our own defined parameters and limits. I think that how much we are able to recognize this is dependent upon not only how we define ourselves and the world we are a part of, but on how we have lived. Perhaps this also pertains to past lives, but this would only be secondary. It is this life, and this moment that is of consequence. Does this sound like your CIA Michael? (P.S. Thank you for leaving space for me to respond.)

It is. I'm glad you don't mind.

I cannot tell you 'exactly'.. I can say that I don't understand why you ask questions, formulate a response for others (without giving them a chance to answer the query), and then argue against the answer you provided, as if you are arguing with someone other than yourself. It's really kind of interesting to watch - especially since I'm pretty sure I've done this myself.

I've read that the 'heart' remains, that this is what we keep, while all else falls away.

To become completely lost in the wonder of India would, however, be a valid fear - one extreme for another.