ilumairen
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Everything posted by ilumairen
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I have a sense this one may get burned before realization has a chance of setting in.
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Dakini aren't "sex slaves." Perhaps think of them more as the essence of emptiness, which can "unite" with your awareness. Although it should be noted, there is already no separation of awareness and emptiness - only the illusion there of. And such practices as you refer to are a means of realizing this. (And the nature of "space.") You could say the mantra 100,000 times, or maybe 500,000 before seeing any result - which, as far as I'm aware, is dependent upon either realization or the manifestation of personal delusion.
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Forum member "spotless". Missing messages.
ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
May I ask some questions which may seem rather pointed, but which I would very much like you to consider? Why condemn what you see as pettiness towards Spotless, and excuse what was presented as pettiness of spotless - saying such pettiness must be let go? Why chastise the recipients of pettiness for returning the pettiness? And was spotless also thusly chastised and offered the same platitude(s)? What determines what is acceptable, forgivable, dismissible, and/or easily over looked, and what isn't? Why? Edit to add: As I'm discovering how easily I'm misunderstood here, let me be clear this is not intended with any disrespect, but an open sort of curiosity. -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
In my experience sometimes what could easily be written off as "pettiness" owing to what amounts to a surface appearance has much "deeper roots" - which the individual may either be finding their way towards or actively working on. Which is only meant to serve as a sort of answer to your question, which I suspect was actually rhetorical. -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
I don't believe the intent behind what was implemented during "the return of Sean" was whatever this idea of balance is. And as such, I don't believe it (whatever it actually is) would be a proper metric for determining success or failure of the vision he was holding when he chose to act on what he saw. Perhaps the better metric would be a measure of how many of his "hard no, instant ban worthy offenses" we presently experience compared to what was experienced prior? -
Forum member "spotless". Missing messages.
ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
This is the second time you've mentioned Walker in this type of context; yet I haven't seen anything to indicate he's leaving/ has left/was pushed out. (And I'm finding myself unable to reconcile the idea of anyone being able to push him anywhere..) -
Forum member "spotless". Missing messages.
ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
It was only today I recognized I need some work with my online communication skills. Thanks for the timely feedback. -
Forum member "spotless". Missing messages.
ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
Thanks for clarifying this. -
Forum member "spotless". Missing messages.
ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
You were not the one who introduced Lori to Jeff, this is true, but there has been much drama here, imo, owing to him messing with people who are unstable and should have been left alone - one of the few things I thought we were in some agreement on regarding this subject matter. (Please correct me if I'm in error in this..) Yes, thanks for asking. It's been a rather pleasant and productive day. How about you? Edit to add, going back and rereading my post I realize I should have taken more care with the precision of my word choices and sentence structure. No, I am not aware of you personally bringing unstable people to practice. I'm only directly aware of one other who did this, and the consequences of there having been unstable people worked with on some level - however this came to pass. Apologies for the incorrectness (as it relates to you directly) in the insinuations behind the questions in my post. -
Forum member "spotless". Missing messages.
ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
He isn't posting anything, and hasn't since Sean asked the people with right wing views to leave. So why would he be banned? -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
IMO, there is valid cause for concern here, and I understand your worry. Any other thoughts I have, I do not wish to discuss here, as this individual appears highly susceptible to suggestion, and imo it would be entirely unethical for me to do so. -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
He connected with the OP of this thread, in a way most of us did not, and possibly could not. I'm aware of posts regarding women, which (as a woman) I found personally troubling, but this isn't about me. I suspect @Aetherous would still not feel welcome here, and would most likely communicate privately, or extend an invitation to his own forum. (Tagging him again, to ensure he understands your trepidation, and the options I've presented.) -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
@moment Thanks for the query btw. I have everyday life matters to attend to, but perhaps later I'll address some of my thoughts and reasonings in more depth in my ppd, and we can explore them if you wish. -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
The practices he presented to this member were simple, direct, and rooted in physical reality (without the destabilizing mental connections and constructions) - hence my use of the word "grounding." Simple, everyday life objects, as support for focusing the mind.. Kinda akin to "be here now." -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
Are you bringing another mentally and emotionally unstable person to practice? And what happens if/when this turns out as badly as some of the others? (If this is your intent) More dismissal of the individual having been unstable, and how they shouldn't have been worked with in the first place? I've seen such hindsight, and wonder if/when it will ever translate into foresight. -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
There are other threads here from the OP; I believe there are actually two which show suicidal ideation, and the one I linked to above. IMO, he doesn't need self proclaimed gurus and psychics further messing with his head. And the less he reads into things such as the recurrence of a very common name, the better off he will be. Sorry for the talking about you instead of to you @Tryingtodobetter. You could try messaging @Aetherous, as I still see his name on the active user list from time to time, and perhaps he could further assist you with grounding practices. -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
When something is destabilizing to someone, for this someone it is both reasonable and responsible to suggest not engaging in what, for this individual, leads to destabilization. Coming in with quotes which seem to indicate the usefulness for some of what is destabilizing for the one being addressed seems counterproductive imo. Edit to indicate the following are flow of conciousness questions which arose for me, and are not directed at the individual quoted: What is the point of this? Is it personal attachment which isn't taking the presented circumstances of the individual into account? -
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ilumairen replied to Tryingtodobetter's topic in General Discussion
Hi @Tryingtodobetter, The conversation wasn't in your inbox; it was on the board. Here it is: typo -
Yeah, no more men with clubs, dragging chosen mates into a cave. Although some seem to believe they now need to fashion a club with words, and the properly played out steps of an elaborate mating ritual which has (by personal account) worked for other men.
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What I noticed in the opening post was the OP presented himself as the commodity which could "enhance" the life of the respondent. Then came the over the top compliments, and further set up of his value. My guess would be the "measuring stick" comment was recognition of this. I would also suggest the polite response to the over the top intro was wary curiosity, and what little we see play out was the respondent determining where he would fall on what has been playfully called the "marry, hang out, or hookup" spectrum. Edit to add: It really was in bad taste (and disrespectful) to post personal communications the other individual would most likely never suspect to be even worth sharing on a message board such as this.
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What you didn't ask was if he was watching movies and looney tunes with female companions.. It isn't really an either/or scenario, although an either/or stance makes for easier jabs and quips.
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Yep. You lack openness for people to share their experience without you painting some odd picture about it, and then insulting them for the picture you've drawn. I call bullshit. The last person who insistently touted this tripe was banned for it.
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Good communication skills include the ability to listen and hold space for others to share what they choose - without the internal narration of how what they share can be used to further one's position. The spaces left in any sharing, should be left open, allowing the individual to express their own experience without what arguably amounts to gaslighting of experience the listener did not share. Gaslighting, while sometimes lending the gaslighter a sense of superiority and power, is actually the death of any possibility of a true connection. And commodities are rarely respected. If one wants something deeper and more sustainable, avoiding making oneself or others a commodity is in order. If "just be yourself" fills one with confusion, dread, angst, or anger then time to get to know and respect oneself, in both the spiritual and mundane sense, is in order. And while belittlement (or self-aggrandizement) followed by flowery praise may lead to some odd codependency, it will not engender trust. See number 2 above, and understand one who has gone through a process where they are comfortable being themselves and not a commodity will not engage in the behaviors mentioned here as they become pointless.
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So much for learning from what I presented...
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My guess would be another attempt at emotional "flipping" and further manipulation. Then an expose for "the guys reading this" regarding how easy it is to feed female emotions towards manipulative goal. The issue is, once trust in open communication is betrayed where there is no emotional investment, there is simply no compelling reason to further involve oneself. If there is any sincerity to it, time will bear it out, although I remain doubtful given the saccharine tone. Thanks guys. Hope you have a good day.
