Earl Grey

Sri Matre Namaha and Namo Amitabha Buddhaya, Hello everyone, Just passing through. I was informed of a few deaths and saw that I was mentioned a number of times since my departure for a couple years. I was reminded of my mortality many times in my pilgrimage the last year, and immediately after while repairing relationships since then after some shifts. Here I am sharing a few insights I wanted to share that re-contextualizes past conflicts here and has vastly improved my life. 1. I was diagnosed last year shortly after turning 41 that I have Autism and ADHD--otherwise known as AuDHD. This means I am tone deaf and sound a lot angrier or more argumentative than I need to be without realizing it would be perceived by others. My info dumping is a feature of neurodivergence, and this can be seen as being disingenuous by others, even if I and many people like me believe that clarity will help free people from wrongful assumptions and mischaracterizing my intentions. My hyperreactivity also comes from rejection sensitivity dysphoria, or RSD, a feature of ADHD. Many times I would perceive some remarks from people as a personal attack and overreact. It is better to assume good intentions and take the loss before getting into an argument since nobody wins. 2. Cultivation absolutely affects my condition for better or for worse. The right cultivation with qi, diet, and spiritual balance (separate from energy work) can moderate the physiological and neurological differences in my body. The wrong cultivation can make them worse, especially when bringing excess energy to my head. It is not my business if people want to do practices that can harm them, as they are not my students and I am not an expert, I am just a specialist at best. I don't get paid to argue and I don't teach for free. 3. Anyone and everyone can eventually be better when we yield that responsibility back to them and God/Dao/the Universe I lost many friends, including TDB member Nature Beeing or Beeing Nature, also known as Natursein on YouTube, who passed several months ago of Liver Cirrhosis around April or May as his partner informed me via WhatsApp. Some of those relationships were healed just before these people died, and some never got that resolution. As I can't wait for others to come around, it is on me to work on myself and be better instead of waiting for them to come around as a prerequisite to improving myself or reconciling. 4. Neurodivergence does make me more sensitive to energy and spirits Before my diagnosis, I noticed things in nature that I didn’t realize others couldn’t perceive. After my diagnosis, my therapist told me it’s common for us to see things and because I see better when relaxed and peaceful while when stressed I don’t perceive anything easily, I realized neurodivergence is a unique operating system, As such, I read oracles better, can notice energy quickly, and as there are several levels of third eye opening, I can sense the other side a bit better, but still need more refinement since it could be a lot better given the new responsibilities given to me by new teachers whom I have met. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. I will stay around for a week or so to answer any questions if people had any related to my practices or me. Otherwise, you can visit my new site at innerexpeditions.squarespace.com. Thank you everyone. Sri Matre Namaha and Namo Amitabha Buddhaya,

If there is proper diagnosis and early intervention with the right treatment plan, neurodivergence can be manageable and we can be easy-going. As I grew up in an abusive family and developed many traumas, my neurodivergence gives deeper wounding to an already sensitive nervous system that registers sound, light, and touch more intensely than neurotypical people. Thus, it makes me more on edge and combative due to one trauma of being unworthy and often taken advantage of, by both teachers who financially manipulated me and students who devalued me. I don’t lament my suffering and struggle now, as I see my suffering as a gift and this body as an even greater gift to burn off karma and recognize many people do not have awareness, support, resources, teachers, or drive to better themselves. So it makes me more patient and accepting of some of the posts that some have made that used to irritate me for years here. Let people go where they want and I will remain in my own lane. I will try to disengage if anyone does try to provoke me during this brief stopover, and if moderation doesn’t seem proportionate to what I hypothetically may encounter, I will just bite my tongue and return to creating content for my site and podcast, along with raising capital from investors for appropriate equipment.