madness23

I am the most stupid fucking person that have ever existed. Seriously what is wrong with me? Why would I play with sexual energy? Why would I play with fire? I have destroyed my life with my stupidity. Those toughts run in my mind every single goddamn day. The backstory is: I have practiced some xing yi with a master and it felt really good. Years later by accident I have found Mantak Chia's books and they seemed very logical. I stopped ejaculating and began to do xing yi everyday and for about an hour and a half. I followed Chia's instructions but without any caution. I tought myself to have multiple orgasm without ejaculation. What can go wrong, right? After eight months I had become psychotic and I was locked up in a psych ward. This was 3 years ago. I have tried everything to help myself but my mind is still a disaster. I have developed bipolar disorder and it doesn't go away. I have nightmares every night. I wake up at least five times every night. I am either deeply depressed with suicidal toughts or high in the clouds. My mind is a total mess. It is permanent. Please be carefull when you play with sexual energy.

Hi Rudolf_safie, Could you tell me more about what have you done and how did you fix it? Was sexual energy also involved? I have tried energy healers, accupuncture, herbs but maybe I haven't found the right one yet. Im currently on medication because without them the depression is so bad I don't leave the house.

Hello, I am a retard who taught himself Mantak Chia's meditation and went psychotic in one year. I played with fire(sexual energy) and am now burned for life with bipolar disorder. Please be careful with these methods. I also practiced xing yi.

Hi liminal_luke, I know that I am responsible for my own suffering because nobody in my family has any mental health issues. When I researched it I saw the comments on amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Taoist-Secrets-Love-Cultivating-Sexual/dp/0943358191 There are two customer reviews who got on antipsychotic medication doing these practices. also this: http://www.thedaobums.com/topic/13577-a-case-of-insanity-induced-from-chia-style-semen-retention/ Its just that I did not made this research before I started playing with sexual energy. I should have been more cautious and read more what other people think about these books