Jim D.

Let me clarify that martial arts being taught today is not taught in a way that a boxer would be taught. Sparring in boxing involves real time contact...you are really getting hit with the blunt force of your opponent. And it goes on for the length of the round(s). Even with equipment on your head and body your are being traumatized. In martial art training, you stop just short of hitting the face and body due to possible injury. The habit created is to not make full contact. Even in Aikido and Aikijutsu the person receiving the technique trains to fall in a way that helps to prevent injury. But there is no guarantee. Both systems use submissive locks to subdue the opponent. It is very painful to experience. Even if you go with the flow. So, even though I have experienced a variety of martial art systems, I don't feel prepared to handle myself in a street fight especially if it goes to the ground and there are a few guys trying to use my head as a soccer ball and my body as a Makiwara. And even if I got the best of one of them, there is the legal system I would have to encounter. So, there had better be someone who witnessed the conflict to vouch for me. I got into martial arts because of ego. I got out of it because it could have compromised an earlier back injury. When I took a look back, it all seems silly. In Philosophical Daoism, not of that defines who I am. My true self is Dao.

The hardest part of leaning a martial art is relaxing when the instinct to tense up is natural when we feel defensive.

Sometime during my undergrad years I took a literature course which its content was about famous poets. I can't tell you who it was but this man impressed me with his love and grief over the passing of his wife. His wife was laid to rest in a coffin and moved to a room off their parlor. The surviving husband spent three days grieving her passing to the extent that he could not tear himself away from her, even at the urgings of his friends, even when she was beginning to decay. He just couldn't let go of her. He just couldn't bring himself...to let her go.

There was a "circuit" speaker named Clancy. I enjoyed listening to him speak because he made the topic simple, understandable., and humorous. Someone had come to him with an answer to a question passing bad checks. The inquirer asked if he should just not worry about making the bad checks good and leave it up to the Universe to come up with the solution. Clancy responded that inquirer could just let it go, but he would have to deal with the legal consequences of passing fraudulent checks. We can pray for something to happen but we must be a part of the solution...in other words we have to take action for the Dao to work through us. In Aikido, which I have studied, the technique we wish to use starts the process of creating the empty space (wu wei) in which we wish to guide incoming force into. The same goes for Tai Chi martial application. Recall what has been said, when my opponent moves first I must get there before he does. If he does not move, I do nothing. Remember that Wu Wei is just another word for something we all have experienced throughout life e.g. the empty cup of coffee, the empty toilet after its been flushed, an empty room etc. These nouns do not become adjectives until they are being used for what they were intended to be used for.

It is nice to be able to follow your postings. Since I have come to know you, I like supporting your ideas and comments. I am learning archery. It is very demanding physically. I use what is called a "bear" recurve bow. The others I shoot with use Olympic recurve bows. They have all the bells and whistles attached to their bows. Here I am with my "Charlie Brown" bow. They look wonderful when they let their arrow fly. I look lucky when I occasionally get inside the target. Two days ago one of the "shooters" tried my bow (he shoots a compound bow. It has pullies, a sight, balancing polls, an arrow plunger, clicker, expensive arrows, etc.) Well, my arrows which he used along with trying my bow were well off target when he shot my bow. And it was here that I realized that although this gentlemen is impressive with his own gear, my setup (which is bear bones simple) was challenging for him. He stopped after three shots. So, what does this say about practical philosophy. I may be the tortoise struggling to keep up, but someday I will have honed my instincts and skills to where I will never need to depend on mechanics to keep up with the others. I am just alright the way I am. Note: I am a target shooter. I have no interest in hunting game. I don't have it in me to kill an animal.

Yes, it was an important lesson learned about life and letting go. But you know, after about 5 or 6 turns of the door knob I loose patience and default back to using muscle to open the door. Doing it this way puts strain on the brain and arm. I will always be a limited (dahhh!) impatient human being. Do you blame me, I gotta get through that door. Right?

Practically speaking, when it rains it is a good thing. But it is also smart to get out of the rain if you do not want to get wet, feel cold and miserable. This seems practical, and if dug into deeper it is following the Way. Either way, it is a matter of acceptance and a choice to either go this way or that way. When making a decision about which way to go, a new door opens up with many opportunities and choices...once I go this or that way. This pathway never comes to an end. If I try to be perfect about making the right decision, then I am paralyzed by fear. Freedom is making the choice and move on because I can always correct what does not feel comfortable. I hardly think about it as an outcome anymore because change is always constant, never static. I have gotten use to this fact.

Standing next to my love And she vanishes What wold it be like What would eyes see A wisp of a breeze The leaf disappears So unique in itself Where can it be Retiring at night After night prayer So awful to pass her bed Silence deafening, thoughts racing Where do I go from here Moments count, never taken for granted Fill my eyes with your sweet presence Touch me while it is today Deepen the etching within me...of you

I use to like talking about Chi because it seemed to set me apart from others, thus making me special...and I want to be special. But my right sized ego keeps me from being arrogant and isolated. We might call Chi (and there's that word again) the action potential of a neuron. Look it up, it is pretty interesting. I promise there will be a short quiz on the above at the end of the week. So, study...

My mother was very sick for a long, long period of time. My sister who was present told me mom requested to be taken of life support. She knew that she was "very sick" and did not want to go on any longer. A very dear friend of mine knew that he was dying from cancer. Over time, he faded away. But I don't think that he was aware of his final moments. I think that there is a moment when there is a lack of conscious awareness when you are only breaths away from ceasing to breath. I have been an observer when patients were in Hospice for a time and then they were gone. I have never experienced death myself. But I hope that I am not aware of it. These are my experiences.

I suppose defining what the Soul is would be a good start. The second concern would be to determine the Soul's concern with differences. In Daoism, the mind and heart are the same. Meridians are conduits used to circulate energy and blood. Physiologically, I would say there is an electrical current caused by the exchange of ions + and - circulating around the myelin sheath of a nerve. You might call this Chi. When there is a blockage via constricted muscle tissue, the electrical impulse cannot get through or proceed smoothly. There is blockage causing toxicity, pain, and weariness. The healing can occur through relaxation, acupuncture, or possibly massage, or Tai Chi. O.K. with that being said, I do not know if there is a Soul. I associate this word with religion ands dualistic thinking. I have thought on the process of death and what happens. I think that death of a human being is much like a worn out car engine with too many miles on it. It just stops. Nothing leaves the engines, and the engine does not wonder about the difference from activity or inactivity.

You are correct. I am a friend of Bill and Bob, and Lois...along with EA and NA. I started off in Al-Anon and then became a double winner about 10 years later when I took a look at my relationship with Alcohol and Pot. If it wasn't for the structure of the 12 Steps and forgiving sponsors my future would have been an endless journey into insanity and oblivion. I am thankful I had another chance at life. I was a terribly sick individual that bordered on Schizophrenia. It was the "rigorous honesty" part of the Program that helped me to ferret out the difference between insane thinking and sane thinking. It took about 10 years to put together a few days per week where I felt normal. When I look back I should have been on medication, but the old timers did not approve. I did not know better, so I struggled through each day hoping that some emotional relief could happen without having to go to something to mood alter. I found out early on that my second sponsor (I had two at the time) thought I wouldn't make it. I was suicidal for a while. But the drive to not be left behind kept me going forward. Now taking a look back at your question. What you say above is so interesting to me. I have never heard unconscious and conditioning brought up around the tables. If anyone was to venture off topic and use these psychoanalytic terms, we would hear "analysis paralysis," or "keep it simple stupid." I would like to hear about the program you're working. You know, from the time you wake up till you go to bed. Your story about the blow back puke was funny. My rock bottom was being locked down in a psychiatric unit with the threat of loosing everything. Now mind you, I saw being locked up as another yet and way to get over my circumstances. Right!!! I think that genetic predisposition passed on by my Dad set me up (he had 43 years in the Program before he passed away). What was conditioned in me was the life style I led in the 60's...sex, drugs, and rock & roll....This must be heaven man!!!

I wanted to revisit Neil Young and his guitar playing. He has this presentation of moving around and bending over his guitar while playing. Although, I would like to be able to hit individual notes as he does while strumming chords. I suppose I could if I practiced like I use to years ago. But I am not interested in covering him...or playing guitar anymore. Occasionally I'll pick it up but that's it. Although guitar playing is soothing, unless your Neil Young. Well anyway, I do think that Neil did a fine job in soloing on "Like a Hurricane."

Dao as a philosophical concept helps me sweep away the years of religious indoctrination. I like the reciprocal relationship it suggests. Shinto is a good one for me because it reveres nature. I have not felt comfortable with revering the Kami. I don't believe in worshiping something outside of me. It makes for an unequal relationship. Appreciating what is, is a good thing for me. I studied Iaido for a time. We would bow to the sword as a ritual, but I never got the importance of it. It is just a sword. When I enter the Archery lanes room (which I now practice) I have tried bowing before going in. I respect archery as an art form of self examination and self improvement.

The early Philosophers were psychologist of sorts. Plato talked about the "World of Ideas," meaning that all we know now in our conscious awareness was already there. We just have to become reacquainted with it. If you're talking about a "Prime Mover," or God, or "First Cause" then in procreating we are simply stewards of a Divine Plan. You mention your Recovery History. Was it your self's plan to make your life miserable and unmanageable. First Step says, "Admitted we were powerless over Alcohol, and that our lives had become unmanageable." They tell us that it is a disease of self...or dis-ease as I like to say. Did our self decide that it was time to destroy us? Or was it the self that decided that it would be more fun to ignore a responsible life of spirituality, self care, and caring for others. There is a lot to comment on. Take your time. Your response will be greatly appreciated.

Perhaps we can talk about what the "real self" is? I think that it may be defined by some as our spiritual self. I do believe it can be perceived as a void of self in meditation. Let's say that I am practicing "Embryonic breathing." And even in this state of awareness, there still is a focus on my breathing and exhalation. There is the imagery of internal abdominal breathing. But my brain is still in use. It still is sensing the body's responses to this state of relaxation. I am not in a world of ideas as Plato would say. I am in a world of "accidents" as Aristotle would postulate. Only these "accidents" are coming from me...my brain. So, I am suggesting that the real self in its purest sense is experienced in the womb...just sensory experience and interdependence on Mom. Skinner tells us that we are nothing but reactionaries to environmental stimuli. So, maybe an example of "encounter with your real self and realizing it" would help to clarify this concept. Thank you.

Back in the days of Bob and Bob, they use to do a lot of that, taking in drunks that wanted to get sober. They use to give them a pint to take the shakes away too. They also had meetings in their homes etc. Today it is much riskier to do so. They had drunks, today we have drunks and addicts. Well anyway, I was at an archery competition. I struck up a conversation with someone who knew a lot about this sport. She asked me how it is that I don't join a training group that meets twice per month. I responded that I don't want to have to attend. I don't want to commit...I just want to approach archery casually. It felt good to say what I mean, and mean what I say without wondering what the other person thought of me, or second guessing myself. It feels good to be free from the bondage of self.

I am listening to my dryer squeak. I hear my tinnitus, and it is moderately quite. I hear my wife moving about upstairs. It is a quiet morning with an occasional moving car. Listened to an interview between Neil Young and Dan Rather. They were talking about "Southern Man" and how it is it got written. Neil told the story about one day he was behind closed doors writing the song. He shares that his Sicilian wife wanted him to do something and he protested, No!...that this is what I do etc. Well he didn't do it, and he became angry about it. She became angry with him. Neil, you didn't put her first! What a disappointment to find out that the anger behind the song was not political. Well, Neil needs to learn to walk to walk. I deleted "Southern Man" from my favorites.

Klinger reminds me of a situation when I was in the AIT Army Finance Corp. (1966). I was heading up a "recon" patrol of 5 - 6 guys. Although I was not sure, one of the guys appeared to be effeminate...I would have characterized him as being gay. At the time, being gay in the Service was not accepted, nor were their gay rights in society during the 60's. Well any way, we went out on patrol, that turn into a conflict with the enemy. We ended up taking prisoners. This effeminate man was my best support personnel, he was active in subduing the enemy, and took charge by keeping a gun on the prisoners, without a problem. I was proud of him and had much affection for this individual who I am sure was grossly misjudged by others. It was the times for all of us.

My wife and I tried to sing a song together. It was funny trying. Being stupidly silly is a lot of fun. I think there is something special about laughing together.

In the 1944's Big Screen TV of the Future Wasn't Much Bigger Than a MacBook. Now we are watching stuff on Iphones In 1957 Sputnik 1 scared us. Now we have drones to play with or use as "recon."

We recycle here. One day I decided to see what would happen if I used the emptiness of a recycled can as a home for another can that would fit right inside it. This process continued for a week until recycle day. The outcome of this philosophical experiment was that I ended up pulling only one recycle bin out to the curb rather than two. JD

Dogs seem to be unconditional. They don't hold in resentment. They just want us to love them, pet them, feed them, take them out. They just are their 'dogness.' I don't think that they think about being human. They seem to think about food...they seem to be driven by it. I am still working on being the best Jim I can be.

The way I have explained this phenomenon to others goes like this. There is the conscious self, the self that is aware of self, others, and surroundings. There is the preconscious, like trying to recall something that is on the tip of your tongue...something in the back of your mind. Then there is the unconscious which stores experiential history e.g. events, trauma etc. Trauma is stored at the point at which it is experienced. Above this level comes "living" with more stored stuff. It takes a great deal of energy to hold down the trauma which is very tiring. But sometimes our defenses are just not strong enough to hold back this stored trauma, and our conscious self gets a glimpse of it. This causes fear and panic in the now. It is best to write it down and shared it with someone you trust that won't use it against you. This will reduce the potency of the trauma, and eventually the feelings associated with it will dissipate and become a benign memory.

The 12 Steps of AA talks about this concept in their 4th Step..."Made a searching and fearless moral..."It takes a lot of energy to cover up character defects. When they are being managed, then the ability to behave morally surfaces. We find that we have answers to different circumstances that previously were baffling and overpowering. It is my opinion, that these "virtues" are inherent within the human being.