Jim D.

In my example of conservation of energy, I am referring to my feeble attempt at trying to economize on the amount of recycle I take to the curb. I thought that if I use the spaces created by the objects e.g. empty cans and spaces between the cans and boxes it may work to my benefit. Like trying to carry water with my hand, I can just fill up a bucket and carry more. The bucket becomes a bucket when it is filled up with something. I thought of Wu Wei at the time.

My wife is perhaps the most honest person I have ever met. I think that she was born into it. I on the other hand, have to work at being rigorously honest.

This reminds me of the story where Adam and Eve were forced out of the Garden of Eden to only encounter death, disease, decay, pain, etc. In that moment they became conscious of themselves and their nakedness which I understand to be vulnerability. I read a book on Zen and was able to apply the state of mind suggested. I did not like the feeling of separateness from my wife who is my companion and friend. It was if I was observing her behaviors...like watching a movie, not interacting at a practical level. It was like being a "fool on the hill." Totally inner directed...unmoved...answering comments with what seemed to be perfect comments. She was not aware of this change in affect, but I was. I stopped it. This is not how I want to live. I suppose if I was in a monastery it would work...but not in a relationship.

There seems to be a touch of Jungian Psychology and Psychocybernetics (Maxwell Maltz, 1960) in your last two responses.

Very beautiful prose Silent Thunder. I have had the experience of the absence of self or the "other" in moments of profound intimacy with my wife. Nothing exists for a few moments. There is a sort of sensual blindness. I define happiness as the absence of negativity. I wish to be cremated. I have asked my wife to spread my ashes under a tree so as to be taken up by the tree and used to nurture it. As time passes, leaves will fall to the ground and become sustenance for further growth and development. Although I will have changed in "Form," the essence of me will continue on for infinity. Even if the Earth ceases to exist my "Form" will possibly return back to the four basic elements. It is a never ending process.

I have been taking stock of my life with a look back. I can see the moments where I made a sensual decision rather than a mindful decision. As they say, "Oh, if I could live my life over again." But if I could, I would not be here sharing with you and others. I can say that if I would qualify my life now, I would give it a 9 on a scale of 10. The thing that troubles me is the finality of death. It is not transient in my opinion. We speak of Dao and our theories and characteristics about it. Your name Silent Thunder is sort of existential and gives cause to ponder just as it is with Dao. Your name is a paradox. There is something in between silence and noise. It seems we need to organize our personal experiences in order to feel secure and safe especially through others that are like minded. I find peace in not trying to identify with the elements of the Universe. I try not to figure out the mystery. I am only ridding on this space ship called Earth for a short period of time. I am not going anywhere and I surely cannot change this mode of transportation.

I addressed this in a comment several years ago on Embryonic breathing. I see it as a form of meditation.

A need for air, and attentiveness.

It is my opinion, suppressed emotions can be safely released with the help of a professional, or through Emotions Anonymous using the help of the group, the 12 Steps, and a sponsor. But if these emotions are just from everyday living stuff, writing them down and addressing the issue with the offender will help keep it objective and assertive.

Back when I was in my mid twenties I was diagnosed with being borderline Schizophrenic ( I think). The psychiatrist told me that what I had was not treatable. This frightened me very much. The way out of this doomsday diagnosis was to work on taking responsibility for my behaviors and quit blaming other people, places, and things for my character defects and shortcomings. For me it took a long time to develop an awareness of rigorous honesty and practice it on a daily basis. For me, I only need to live life on life's terms, not Jim's terms. This is freedom for me. I think this is a good concept to live by "analysis paralysis." My best thinking got me locked up in a psych ward.

I would be considered elderly at my age entitled to some discounts at various food chains. Something that has stuck in my head for a long time is this, the more I work on eliminating my character defects the easier it gets and the less discomfort I experience I am not operating from fear as much as I did when I was younger. I find spiritual readings to be repetitive now. There is just so many ways a thing can be said, and then it becomes repetitive. For example, I am a practitioner of martial arts and have been these last 20 years. It took me all this time to see the connection between them all. There is a common thread running through them. There is only so much you can do with two arms and two legs. The styles are different, and there is one that a person best relates too, but the outcome is pretty generic...defeat incoming force or redirect it. I don't feel complete (whatever that is) but I do recognize I have grown into age appropriate thinking and behavior.

I think I remember this line in a movie called "Little Big Man" (Dustin Hoffman).

For me, everyone has the right to cease unending physical and emotional pain in the manner that they choose. I don't believe there is someone in a celestial office just waiting to inflict judgement on any person that chooses to end their lives. But just for the record I am only speaking for myself. I am not giving permission to anyone to go ahead and end their life. It is a personal choice.

For me desire is something I want, but not necessarily need.

The English sparrows are outside the window of my room. They have been nesting and raising families for almost 8 years now. I don't know it they are the same sparrows observed eight years ago. Probably not...I don't know how long they live, or if their offspring build new nests in the neighbors exhaust vent next door to me. I hope they are warm during the winter from the interior heat of the town home next to me.

I just watched a movie on Amazon Prime Video named "Snow Walker."

Acceptance has always worked for me. Getting there is the problem. I want it my way and I want it now. I think that mental illness is the inability to accept what is. When I stop fighting it and take a look at my part of the issue I am holding onto and giving power to, it goes away. The issue is usually resentment and fear of loosing control for me.

Hi, I have been practicing Classical Wu Tai Chi quite a while (16 years). I don't do it every day, and have taken a respite from it for a time to cross train in other external martial arts because it was in my bucket list (now it is empty). I have found that even if I stop, I still know it, and can do it even if it is not perfect...it's like riding a bike after a long time from being away from it. You never forget it. It feels good to forget myself while playing the forms but I do not want to make a "job" of it because that's where it ceases to be fun for me.

I don't know if multi-vitamins really work, but the placebo affect does. There is some research supporting some supplements I take and that gives me a sense of security that I am being kind to my body.

I found that changing over to a memory foam mattress has significantly added to the quality of my life. Springs seem to wear out and cause back problems for me.

I have also found that starting off my day listening to a guided meditation called "Weightless" (Marconi Union) blocks my reaction to everyday annoyances. If I am annoyed I am able to assertively express this feeling. I watch life through the eyes of an observer.

My exercise routine has been going for decades. I spend two hours per session 3 x's weekly using resistance, light weights, aerobics, and stretching. I am afraid to quit for fear of declining. I am 73 years old.

Melatonin worked for me. Listening to a guided meditation through era plugs while laying on my left side in my bed under a comforter seemed to be very pleasant. I learned to speak Italian that way as well. But if it goes deeper than that it could be Panic Disorder. I don't know. For me it was fear.

We recycle here. I have been filling our recycle bin weekly, and adding an extra bin ones when there is too much to recycle. So, I decided one day to use the emptiness of a can, or oatmeal box to my benefit. It was almost like filling up a grocery bag...finding the right positioning of the groceries so that the paper bag would be easy to carry and sturdy at the same time. Sometimes you have to double bag them which takes up space within the space of the bag being used to double bag the first bag. Well, as I placed the recycle in the recycle bin during the week, I carefully placed the recycle items so as to make the emptiness of the recycled can or box...usable. I just simply placed the next used cans and boxes inside the can or box already found inside the recycle bin...reducing the emptiness of the recycle items found in the bin. The conservation of energy came on recycle day when I was pulling only one bin out to the curb, rather than two.

Mein Kampf