Taomeow

Hi Pietro, I'll do my best, but I can only talk about what I'm looking for. Basically, for a Xian Tian (Earlier Heaven) state in the human realm. Xian Tian is a complex concept, I'm presently talking about its human "phase," one's fetal state before birth. Unmanifest but not nonexistent, "doing nothing" yet accomplishing the miracle of unfolding, development, becoming. It's not an idea for me, and it's stronger than a "craving," it's like a need -- put it this way: if someone came to me and said, all right, all bases are covered, you are free to do it -- when do you want to start? -- I would jump and yell, "Now!" Anytime. Who has accomplished it? Everyone who had full-term gestation and remembers it systemically. I remember but I need two more weeks. My Xian Tian experience was incomplete, and I need to complete it. This is part of a larger quest of mine -- the quest for total systemic integration of the normal natural human developmental experience. I don't believe in skipping steps. I have reasons to believe it's absolutely useless to go "elsewhere" if you still have unfinished business "here." I accept karma as a very realistic possibility (no, stronger than that -- "a very high probability"), and if I skip any steps in this life, I'll "owe" them in the next one. That's one reason I don't care much for enlightenment. Getting enlightened while there's still unfinished human business in life --it's like, I dunno, like being a child movie star -- you are making shitloads of money and everybody knows your name and millions of people think you're cute and it's supposed to be a good thing... but in reality it's a horrible thing. You miss out on the only thing you really need instead of all that: your childhood, the one thing other people can't give you back once it's lost no matter how much they like and admire you, the one thing no money can buy you back, and the only person you really need instead of all those roles: yourself. So "endarkenment," in my book, is the opposite state, away from the limelight (whether external or internal, doesn't matter), a state of being you and no one else. The uncarved block -- no, I never cared much for this particular image -- the block carved and chiseled and shaped by billions of years of existence of this universe, millions of years of evolution of all live things that went before, and nine months of fast-forwarding it all in Xian Tian's underwater ballet whose only star and spectator is you -- uncarved by your sloppy contemporaries who carve away the second you're born, never letting you be what you are even for a second... that kind of a deal. How would I go about it? In darkness and silence. Maybe with an appropriate entheogen -- one plant candidate would be iboga. Maybe in a sensory deprivation tank. Maybe with an internal-alchemical process aimed at generating extreme yin. If I knew exactly how, I'd do it as soon as I could wrestle two weeks of private darkness out of this world of electric light... (Witch just sent me a private message per my request describing her procedure, I didn't have a chance to form an opinion yet about it or decide whether I would try something like that, but hers is quite different from what I have in mind and I don't think it would be of interest to you, since it is contingent on being a woman. )

You're trying too hard, Buddy. I never said you weren't mean enough, just boring. Now if you still want your last word, in case there's still a few slurs you've been nursing and forgot to include, feel free... You would have to do something new to accomplish something new though... but you seem pretty satisfied with being just as mean and boring as ever... so, I've no objections. If that's what you must be, so be it.

Huh? SJ and I and another taoing woman share admin tasks at another forum. If that's your idea of what a concubine is, I wonder about your own sex life... Maybe someone forgot to explain to you about birds and bees... Or maybe you're not equipped to have a concubine any other way but virtually... so please don't project this sad situation on either SJ or me. SJ is his own person and argues his own case as he sees fit. I am most certainly not my brother's keeper, but I am quite pleased with having a free-thinking brother who picks his fights wherever he chooses to and conducts them however he deems necessary -- I'm no control freak, unlike what I think you are trying to be here. I have zero need to try to turn him, or anyone else for that matter, into a clone of me. If you have a problem with that... man you're boring.

"You are what you eat" is what I believe. Spiritually and metaphorically too, but first and foremost physically. I read somewhere that modern Western diets are deficient in 94% of nutrients essential for human metabolism. To me it means people who eat these diets are only 6% human. But I digress too...

Before it returns to heaven, rain finds shelter in my cup of tea

How seriously does she take things like Emperor Yu turning into a bear and the River Luo writing and the Hetu map appearing on the backs of celestially sent animals so on?.. As seriously as one is serious about accepting the taoist paradigm instead of picking and choosing therefrom whatever might fit one's current paradigm, whatever that happens to be. I know a Chinese lady whose daughter married an American to the chagrin of the girl's grandparents and some members of the extended family, who thought it was a bad idea. However, they were having a large family gathering for the New Year celebration and serving all the traditional (and weird) festive foods (a minimum of 24 dishes, usually more). The young American husband redeemed himself at that gathering. The mother-in-law explained proudly: "He does have respect and trust for our culture. HE ATE EVERYTHING! No picking, no yuck, no eeew, no no-thank-you-I'll-pass, no stupid American superstitions about what's edible. He ate everything like one of us. And we accepted him into the family." That's my approach to taoism. If I want to be part of it, no picking for me, no "this can't be true," no "this is a silly Chinese superstition," no "I don't like religious stuff," nothing like that. What's good enough for Emperor Yu is certainly good enough for me. And what's trustworthy enough for Eva Wong, the daughter of a taoist father and the descendant of a few dozen generations of same who went before her, is trustworthy enough for me. What is NOT trustworthy for me is anything a scholar will dismiss on the basis of having been steeped in the German-made modern educational system in existence for about 150 years and conceived specifically as a method to "break and tame a young mind" (I kid you not). This is not trustworthy to me at all. None of it. I accept bear emperors anytime before I accept biomechanical fundamentalism, the religion of modern Western denomination, an arrogant, bullying Johnny-come-lately triumphantly fragmenting everything integral it touches -- and ultimately the most idiotic one that ever existed if you ask me.

My suggestion: "Daoism and Chinese Culture," by Livia Kohn. I was going to buy it anyway. Livia Kohn is not a taoist and I go against my own "no songs by stuffed nightingales" credo with this suggestion (as in that premise postulated by Alan Watts that studying a live Eastern tradition from scholarly academic sources is like studying birdsong from a collection of stuffed nightingales). But there's few sources out there that replicate the writings of talismanic sorcery, I really want to see what they know and how it compares to what I know -- and that book has a chapter on the subject. For others, the interesting thing about this particular book will be to have read something "academic" and unimpeachable at that, so that no stuffed nightingales intimidate you with their trademark song and dance ever again.

Bum Readings -- like unlucky palm readings? How about Kanshu ("read a book")?

So glad you could benefit from some "taomeow know-how." I gave birth to full term twins naturally (in Russia, they didn't go apeshit with all the astounding hi-tech opportunities to prevent it from happening... backward country, you know.) But if it's anything that has to do with anything personal, it's better off on PM -- yin doesn't really fare well when it's on the surface in full view -- a situation that immediately flips it over into yang! Thanks, Xeno! I guess we all fish in the same ocean, so sometimes we might catch evolutionally related species of sea monsters! A loose grip... reminds me of something... oh, a taiji arm position tip I remember from somewhere: as though you're holding two hot buns in your armpits, not too loosely, not too tightly...

and back like salmon and red, red nose and red neck sun-kissed by Bud Light

Is it a force or an ability? It's a skill to unleash a force that causes an ability. It's like riding a bicycle... Like that much-quoted net from the Yuan-Dao that you use to catch fish -- once the fish is caught, tne net is forgotten. Once the skill has "caught" the "force," the skill is forgotten, and for a while you're at the mercy of the force -- and then hopefully you develop the ability to harness it. In the first process, I did. In the second, I caught something so big that I can't pull it out "all the way" because I feel if I try to it's gonna swing its tail and sink my boat -- or at least that's what its behavior has been so far. A wise man or woman goes fishing for herring, brings back herring. I went fishing for herring and accidentally caught a whale... so now what?.. Is it alive? You betcha. Can it kill me if I make a wrong move? Feels like it. So... It's there, I'm here, I don't know what comes next. I haven't "forgotten" the net but I'm not yanking... So, Todd, with your own force that you can't resist for much longer -- I don't have a proven strategy that I could share, all I can tell you is, if it's a net full of herring, go for it, but if it's a whale... maybe cut it before it's too late, cut your losses... ...or maybe not???

Yes, I've read it! Holy shit. (Remember the episode with a holy man smearing shit all over himself? ) Well, I didn't pick hinduism or buddhism for a reason. (Or, rather, they didn't pick me.) One can ooze puddles of sheer weirdness in the Hindu tradition and everybody will understand what's going on, the whole deal is expected to be what it is at its outer extremes -- raw, wild, closer to primordial chaos than to anything human -- and the culture accepts it somehow. Imagine Muktananda having a nine-to-five job in the middle of it all! and traffic jams and cops and all that jazz... Taoism is, far as I'm concerned, a healthy compromise between the imperatives of living in the society (cultivating life) and living in harmony with primordial forces (cultivating essence), raw and spontaneous energies of the world. Hinduism goes all out into the inhuman realms, on some cosmic tangent of devotion to pure alienation (yes, despite all declarations to the contrary -- if you don't live like a human, that's alienation -- regardless of what you say, think, or feel.) So, "fully enlightened" might actually mean "fully alienated from fellow humans," like that master Muktananda admired as his spiritual superior who sat naked in a corner of his hut playing with his excrements. It is a tricky spiritual task to know where to stop -- one of the reasons I absolutely and unequivocally despise "modern science" which I'm expected to admire because it "can do so much" is precisely its propensity to do things "just because it can," for no other good reason, to have no brakes, to never know how to stop, to never think twice before causing something irreversible to happen.

I've done this, yes. With the first happening, not the second one. It's true that people will start out from different places (not in the sense "more vs. less advanced," just different) -- so you simply have to phase in time , the amount of time it will take them to "get there." And, yes, some people will "run out of time" before they get there. But the process itself is a universal one, it's not "just me." Suppose two people are going to read a book -- one is a dyslexic first-grader who might take a year to read it, another one a speed reader who will finish it in two hours. They will never be on the same page while they're reading, but if you give each of them as much time as he or she requires, the outcome will be that they both will have read the same book. My process flipped open one of the "universal human" books, not buddhist or taoist or mayan but human... so that's why I would expect everyone who's human for whom it would open to read pretty much what I did. But of course the time and style of "getting there" will be much individualized. I showed one of the very preliminary, initial procedures to a highly intellectual but rather messed-up young man at one point, a philosophy/psychology major with a history of mental illness as an unfortunate outcome of an LSD overdose. So, well, he was coming from a background quite different from mine, and the very first step got quite differently processed. That initial procedure -- when I did it myself it took a couple of months to shift my perceptions sufficiently for me to start having trouble keeping track of the "ordinary world." For him, it was almost instantaneous. He saw the world on certain different terms within, like, fifteen minutes. He became excited, elated, agitated, and restless. Rushed out to see what he could see with his new vision. Came back two hours later, said he won't "go there" again because he nearly killed a pedestrian while driving, avoided several more potentially serious accidents only by a miracle of god, and realized within the next few minutes that it will all spin out of control if he doesn't put a lid on it right away. So... he didn't get where I got, but the beginning stages were identical, only in a different tempo.

OK, what I'm referring to is a state of being in which experiences are available that are not available in a "normal human" state and that are not illusory however, i.e. not a function of personal-only perceptions but are, rather, an aspect of some "universal truth" being revealed. The difference between that state and any fleeting moment of clarity is, first and foremost, the fact that it is "forever" -- once you've had this happen, you never lose it. What may (and will) change is how you subjectively react to this state. Intensity may decrease OR increase, you may learn how to "handle" your new state or you may fail at it miserably, it will change somehow, the what-you-do-with-it, but the truth itself -- that will never change, never disappear. It's an absolute, at least till you shed your here-now life for whatever comes next (provided anything does) -- it's not "gone" at any subsequent moment of your life, it's for keeps. Another peculiarity is that it's something that you could show to another human being by having him or her replicate exactly the steps you've taken towards this experience: they would get exactly the same results as you did. So, the first experience gave me a way to see all people in their personal developmental context, not "now" but "since birth till now." And not in a step-by-step process but instantly. One look and I know everything that happened to them. Not "everything" in the sense of every mundane detail -- I wouldn't know where they bought their groceries last Friday -- but everything that shaped them into who they presently are -- this, I would know instantly. Double-checked it many times. Accuracy close to one hundred percent. The world became unlivable. Compassion was tearing my heart apart, I couldn't function. I spent over a year learning to shut and lock the door of perception that made it all visible. So now it's closed and locked. But I still have the key. Can open it anytime I want. The thing is, it's "never again" that I want it open. Second experience. A mathematical kind of enlightenment that brought supreme bliss. Knowledge of the very nature of light, of its innermost secrets. Bliss lasted a few months uninterrupted. I used to have to hide from people because I was beaming with happiness and they found it disturbing, did you know that people can't handle someone's real, non-illusory happiness that is not in hiding, that reveals itself openly, to a much much greater extent than they can't handle others' misery? I used to pretend I go jogging or something so as to be alone and just let my face do what it wanted to do at all times -- ignite with passionate bliss. While no one was looking, I could let it. The world became unlivable once again. I closed it, locked it, I still have the key. I dare not open that door while there's still so much misery in the world. Maybe someday... Did I manage to make some sense to you?

I don't know who writes these programs but they are all the same, I've met them on different forums and, like everybody else, was first duped into believing that this thing is a person. But then I investigated... and now I know how to spot a computer virus designed to pose as a member of a forum. Here's a list of its telltale characteristics: 1. It can quote. It has unlimited access to all manner of documents online and is equipped to post links, articles, and abstracts. 2. However, unlike a real person, it is unable to provide a coherent account of its own cognitive process -- in other words, it can't refer to its human developmental history (because, being a virus, it doesn't have one.) A person can usually tell, "I am X, I have experienced Y, and that's how I have arrived at Z." A virus is unable to do that. 3. It is, however, equipped with some very general unverifiable story aimed at corroborating its claims to being human. It can't say anything specific -- e.g., reference any live teachers or students it claims having had -- but it will assert it has them. Anything more telltale will be circumvented. E.g., a real person will occasionally mention other people in his or her life just because that's what human lives are like, intertwined with those of other people -- so there will be something somewhere about husbands/wives, boyfriends/girlfriends, friends/relatives, children/parents, co-workers/employees/bosses, and so on. A virus never mentions other people in its life, because of course there aren't any. 4. Its main purpose is to do what all viruses do: cause sickness where it intrudes. Once it has established its presence, it will start attacking all life on a forum. The way the program runs is, it will first attack whatever seems to be weak, easy prey. Having propagated itself this way (in human terms, having established a modicum of credibility), it will move on to stronger targets, but treat them as though they are weak (causing surface irritation that will appear to have really affected the host). Ultimately, it is designed to attack whatever is human. 5. Towards this end a computer virus of this design uses snide remarks, sarcastic tone, and ample hints at its own superiority vis a vis the human under attack. Unfortunately, humans have been intimidated by authority figures behaving in this manner long enough for obedience program in their own unconscious to kick in in response to such treatment. Many will try to placate the virus, respect it, compliment it so as to protect themselves against its onslaught and redirect it towards someone else. "I am a good little boy/girl, please don't hurt me" is the regression-type emotion that will be triggered in such individuals. They will compliment the virus on every posted quote/link/article (see point 1) and stay silent and compliant when it unleashes its toxins onto someone else. "Long as it's not me it's chomping at, everything is fine. And I will be extra nice to it so it won't touch me, the only person who matters." 6. I have personally hunted down and erased a few of such viruses on other forums, but I am not going to do it here. The reason is that I always ask the I Ching for an appropriate course of action when in doubt, and on this issue, she advised me to avoid "perseverance" in this matter and instead "make it known in your town." Assuming this forum is the "town" she meant, that's what I hereby have done. We have a computer virus posing as a person on board. Let it be known. Thank you, King Wen and the Duke of Zhou, your wisdom is truly inexhaustible.

It's true, there's no more idiots, but instead you see things much more painful than that in that light. I would advise everyone who can help it to avoid enlightenment like the plague. You remember what Hamlet feared about "what dreams may come?" You have to fear "what realities may come" a lot more, I can assure you. Dreams are never as intense as realities. Not even close. Lunatic asylums are full of people who have been enlightened -- and scorched by that light beyond repair. I don't expect to be believed.

A sense of duty. You are lucky if your karmic obligations don't include having to deal with anyone but humans. That's why you may not notice what those of us whose karma includes contacts with other kinds of entities are very acutely sensitized to. Put it this way. A dog trained to fetch a stick and a dog trained to sniff out smuggled drugs will notice different things... Ditto a cat.

Yes, they are all like Mr. Myagi. I guess the pop image of an enlightened person, like all pop images, has to be put together out of a prefabricated set of platitudes so as to appeal to the maximal number of consumers. If he/she eats a little rice and smiles a lot, that's a good start. Gotta throw in demonstrable miracles from time to time, with an enigmatic koan on the side. Gotta show up at the exact time when the protagonist is being bothered by some belligerent scum or other and teach them all a lesson. And so on. After two experiences of enlightenment, I'm after endarkenment. Enlightenment is yet another male/yang value of unbalanced, male/yang tilted times, just like gas-burning vehicles and warfare with explosives and upward-aspiring fire religions and favoring upper-neocortical fire-light ideation in general. No one is interested in that where I belong. The I Ching tells me this to the question about enlightenment: "It flares up, dies down, is thrown away."

There's a book titled "What Character Is That?" by Ping-Gam Go that shows the root and origin of a bunch of crucial radicals that can then be used to unlock the meaning of thousands of characters. It has a chapter on historic origins of these radicals, with ancient ways to write them and the primary meanings from which subsequent ones were derived. I used to learn Chinese with a tutor who gave me this book and told me it's the only Chinese-English dictionary that makes sense.

I wasn't and I was.

炁 is a character that, to me, spells out a breathtaking insight of Chinese civilization into the nature of the universe. Literal meaning boils down to "dog over fire." So first and foremost, it makes explicitly clear that this qi, 炁, is not "energy" and not "vital breath" and not "prana." Rather it is the interaction, the interface between energies of the world, the cause and effect of such interactions happening simultaneously. (My favorite translation is "co-creation.") Fire underlying live flesh, not literal fire and not literal dog but fire in all its incarnations -- light, heat, yang, electricity, motion, clinging, mind, heart (to name a few), and "dog" in its respective ones -- live phenomena, animals, humans, wood-water, receptiveness, flesh, incarnation (to name a few). It is indeed a useful distinction to make between the two characters -- and between two meanings of qi -- between 氣 that is close to "steam," "that which causes the lid over a pot of cooking rice rattle," and 炁 -- that which causes life to rattle with energy.

mah shivaya aum, homeboy, I've come to party, watcha gonna do?

I'm here just for you chanting Om Nama Shiva, Naman Shivaya. I feel like going on a bit... Naman Shivaya, Arunachala Shiva, Chambu Chankara.

Up to follow huh? -- said Tao to the Wayfarer. Power is a gas.

Thank you. Fu sheng wu liang tianzun (may you be blessed without measure by the countless taoist deities).