Mig

Why 80% and not 90%, I feel I have a huge percentage of idiot and more and less of an asshole and more and less okay

Not sure about that. I noticed people get killed in a bus station or by the corner standing near the curb and get hit by a car. I have seen that time after time in three different continents and all I can think is lack of awareness. It seems we take for granted and lost that skill of self awareness.

I don't know about labels and I know you can find them all over. You may think some kind of education or basic respect will help. I can see how some people in poor countries behave that way and mostly is because they were not educated to respect other or themselves. I am pretty those people I see, they pay attention when they cross the street. And also I remember people in a busy side walk on their phones, they forget people are around and in that case yes, I will agree they are self absorbed.

Wasn't a story of a Spaniard kid who was the chosen one and when he grew young adult and left?

Chapter 40 反者道之動，The returning is the movement of the Tao 弱者道之用。The weak is the utilization of the Tao 天下萬物生於有，The myriad things of the world are born of being 有生於無。Being is born of non-being Derek Lin translation

It sounds berry subjective. The way I see it, is that we create our own sufferings and we are constantly destroying ourselves with foods and drinks not to mention with our minds. Also, our selfish motivation in doing what we do. The suffering is us.

the nine practices.As I am reading, some Daoist traditions formulated precepts and practices as the nine practices. 1 行無為，行柔弱，行守雌，勿先動。此上最三行。 Practice non-action, practice softness and weakness 2 行無名，行清靜，行諸善。此中最三行。 Practice being nameless, practice clarity and stillness, practice being adept 3 行無欲，行知止足，行推讓。此下最三行。 Practice being desireless, practice ceasing with sufficiency, practice yielding and withdrawing I am wondering if those practices are taught in every lineage and where do you find 6, 8 and 9 in the DDJ or the explanation of those 9 practices. Thanks

Maybe obsessed is not the right word, maybe persistent in defining what cannot be defined. I guess if we have our western magnifying lenses the necessity to know what a Daoist is becomes important but I doubt that is the case in the Chinese who either believes in Daoism religion/philosophy or practice what they know about the DDJ/ZZ. I guess Chinese scholars have a different take or definition what a Daoist is.

Why someone should be obsessed to know what a Daoist is? Most everybody gave their definition, some gave arguments on how to label or show what a Daoist is. Is there someone here who has been immersed in both cultures, speak and read both languages Chinese and their own mother tongue to understand Daoism? I guess if in the academia world you could argue about the definition, the hermeneutics of each text in Daoism so we could have a definition. My take on those who cultivate the Dao are those who live the being experience and learn about non being to conduct themselves in every day life. Of course there is more to elaborate on that.

Very useful advice and great links. IMHO life never sucks, we suck. I know it is a common expression but we make our lives even more difficult and it is already difficult. Thanks a bunch!!

Just wondering about what people have done or doing on a relationship with someone who suffers from anxiety and depression. It is quite known that the person who suffers from depression and anxiety sometimes any reaction can happen without knowing or realizing what he/she did wrong. Most of the time, the person who suffers from those mental issues, take medication to calm down but as everything else there is a side effect. It seems that mindfulness, relaxation, marijuana, breathing and exercises can help but that's just one part of the equation. How do you deal with that type of person in a (loving) relationship?

Indeed, it is true that communication is important however just the term is pretty broad and it can lead to misinterpretations. In this case having communication can be possible when the person feels better and always try to find the best time to talk which is very difficult. The person involved in helping out needs more than communication.

Excellent, excellent advice. I sincerely appreciate it. It seems that you are familiar with this kind of situations. What I am learning is that a relationship is more than a relationship. The help of a therapist is not really a help or guidance as the therapist doesn't live the situation day to day and maybe is not familiar of what it is to suffer from depression and anxiety. It is interesting what you just wrote as some of it we are already doing and of course, I am a master of nothing so the learning curve is far from easy. As you said, nobody likes being told what to do and I am not l am not clear about the spiritual and well habit?? I learned to replace negative thoughts with 3 positive actions, she can see the negative thoughts but it is hard for her to replace them even if they are true positive statements about her and supported by other people. The negative thoughts still remain there.

She knows she wants to change herself and she's improved very much. You have it right about her needs where it needs more probing to find out what exactly are her needs. Sometimes her or even me, the needs are not even clear. More work on ourselves, I guess. Thanks for your input.

Thanks for your thoughts. Non judging is certainly a way to interact with each other. The problem is having bad habits and trying to correct those bad habits is a task and she may feel being criticized or she thinks she doing something wrong. So what options do I have?

Thanks so much. The hardest part was to understand how a person can fall that low and still in real life she looks normal. Not that she's not normal but was able to hide all the mental, emotional and mood behavior.

It's not about changing but helping out. She knows she has to work on basic stuff. She excels in her professional life but in her personal life it was different. I think the person or partner needs to learn how to communicate and again it's far from easy.

Thanks so much and keep hearing communication, communication. The goal to be adult is far from being easy especially when your partner has been conditioned to a certain type including anorexia, drinking, image distortion. It seems that there is more than communication as if there are two individuals and both have to work out a plan. Being compassionate is not enough and the other person needs to do their part. It is true that medication is necessary when coming to a point where the person can not handle her moods but being consistent to medication is essential until the person has some balance in her life, better nutrition, more exercises, better job and most important learning how to cope and move on. Mindfulness is necessary, relaxation really helps and when the partners starts to learn the ropes then start thinking in minimizing medication and look after natural remedies or options. As for 100% honesty, I think on paper is good but in real life is a different reality. Some people will make themselves believe something that may not be true and will make believe others it is true. As an example, she used to tell people that one apple and yogurt was enough meal for one day and even doctors believed her. Typically the result will be seizures episodes, lack of calcium and empty stomach. When she started eating better then episodes were not as severe and today she has less episodes-seizures and the recovery time is much faster than ever. Regarding therapist, there is not much they can do. I believe in having a plan with tools to help people out. We several therapist and most of the time were not competent for her case. It is not easy and sometimes frustrating.

Back in the 80's they were talking with oil reserves in that area so it seems they are covered in that area. It seems also they are investing in poor countries infrastructure as for example in Africa and Nicaragua.

I thought China has oil reserves in the north, just wondering?

At this point I know that most of the DDJ can be interpreted for the universe, the king, the power and it can be applied to yourself. So it makes me think that each line when it talks about country, government, the king and humans in general it can be applied as you be one of those and your kids the subjects for a better guideline living in harmony and peace. Just saying.

Has someone read or heard about this book? Is it worth reading? Can any chapters of the DDJ apply to parenting? Thanks

What did you like about it? How is that related to the DDJ? Could you give some examples? I noticed in today's parenting especially in the USA, kids are empowered to do whatever they want to do and most of the time parents are enablers. And phone, phone apps, internet has not helped. It started with kids and now adults, everyone is looking for that instant gratification.

Peace? at the higher level starting from top: world, nations and leaders, I don't see peace but constant struggle, don't you think so? even at the family level there is always some sort of less peaceful moments

That is the danger of interpretation. As for example, DDJ chapter 71 line 2 不知知，病。 To think one knows when one does not know is a dire disease. Waley Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty. Lau In Ancient Chinese bing 病 means illness, disease, sickness. Defect, flaw, fault, problem. This is the meaning in this chapter. Thus, to not know but think you know is a character flaw, not a disease. That's the problem I encounter reading the DDJ English translations. I guess basic concepts remain the same and some particularities may change but no translation is good if there is no explanation or commentary to have a good understanding of the meaning.