thursday

Yes, I can see there's really no other way than it being very simple. I either continue what I'm doing or I look to improve my practise. "Suffering" is the best motivation..

After years of daily practise, I have only had what now seems like moments of appreciating the practise. My teacher recently said my primary blockage has always been: my unwillingness to fully "enter" emotional and mental pain while observing change and difference at the kinesthetic, tactile and felt level of sensation. Very frustrating because this is a basic thing, and while a lot of me wants to write it off, it's likely very true. How can I change years of this lack in practise during this lifetime.. edit: How can I start with a clean slate, when I have accumulated all these doubts and frustrations?

LimA, I don't want to talk about it. It's not that bad. I shouldn't complain. Have a good weekend too.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-28238/in-defense-of-tears-the-science-spirituality-behind-a-good-cry.html Been crying a lot again, today I woke up crying.. Good start for the day .. That said, I laughed hard too.. It's confusing. Mainly I feel exhausted.

Hey, that sounds like a great place to be in, but didn't it take you a lot of time spent meditating and active sincerity to get there?

Wankers? .. You'd have to elaborate a little on that, but I agree that without meditation there's no way to get to enlightenment (according to the teachers I'm familiar with). How do you mean, more ammunition to beat themselves up with when they make a mistake? Like guilt programming from teachers? How would that work?

Skillful means to alleviate suffering.. making a plan to quit addictions, starting/sticking with it, finding a way to introduce healthier foods into our diets. For many here various types of meditations.. I have done charity work in the past.. Currently not so much and I really wish I had the courage to start something again, I shouldn't be so lazy.

Often? It would be interesting to get a clear guide for people on what type of teachers are like that and which ones are actually sincere. To me it would seem that a sincere teacher, whom has had real enlightenment experiences, would not fall prey to such horrible deeds, misguiding seekers. Pride can make us feel entitled to all sorts of diagnoses on other people's paths.. edit: speaking for myself.

Been finding myself with similar questions.. Although I catched glimpses of inner peace and (unconditional) love in the past, have been finding it hard to get back there. It's almost like I have wanted to turn my back to it all and just fit in with "normal" people. Not sure what "normal" even means. It's likely true that some people that work for charities and the greater good are more at peace than others, but these people aren't the norm either, I don't think. There are skillful ways to live and less skillful ways. We need to have the will to eliminate less skillful ways or replace less skillful with more skillful. Easier said than done when immersed in a culture of (mainly) distractions. This is why we need to be honest with ourselves on a spiritual path.. but could be I'm cuckoo by now too..

This thread reminds me that people call/see things differently and wether it's text or video or personal experience, makes me wonder how much language and word use can create bias. This coupled with spirituality, quite a personal thing..

Yes, things have been calming down a bit more for me. I like Autumn too..

Agreed.. I see it similarly, when I'm able to be more focussed/silent, it's easier to notice an increase in energies (which were already there). For me more conscious attention to quality of focus leads to more silence/softening, which gets "me" more out of the way to notice subtleties. Recognizing subtleties and going into them.. I seemed to be better at that when I was starting out years ago.. Had quite a detour in a few different ways, but I'm not giving up.

Sincerity is what informs people wether or not they are still suffering. It seems simple self observation, one and one is two? Both paths can lead to the gaining of magical abilities, but making the point from the start that these abilities will just be more phenomena.. In my view that makes the possible amount of beneficial inertia towards the end of suffering in a lifetime greater than starting the other way around. But a complete beginner may not even know of different ways, at least I never knew till I had my own experiences. Either way, it's always good to have a practise because that encourages doing things yourself, putting in your own time and effort rather than "enlightenment" by popping a pill kind of thing..

Comparing different groups, teachers, teachings can be useful to get some insight on your path, but even those that consider themselves high level practitioners/adepts/teachers can be wrong about other high level practitioners/adepts/teachers.. It's not because one has had this and that experience of the divine, that they are beyond making mistakes, maybe even huge mistakes!? From what I have observed on the internet there are generally two directions/paths. One is most commonly found and is focussed on gaining abilities and that can be a workable path, but doesn't necessarily lead to the end of suffering/enlightenment faster. The other is focussed on objective observation, which sounds more mundane, but from my (unenlightened) view, it's faster to end suffering because it doesn't have as much potential to get stuck. In the end mistakes can still be made, and it's up to the practitioner themselves (in either system/path) to progress or not so much.

Life is not easy.. it is hard. We all have our own challenges. Speaking for myself, having tapered off meds for mental illness, it's been a tough wake up call and often thought about taking them again (even these days) to blind myself from the damage within. Writing things online can be helpful if you're with similar minded people, but still then, in my case when I made a fool of myself on a forum in the past, it was helpful for me to see why people got offended and see how I was in error. Apologizing helped, then making sure not to repeat the same mistake. Know that people have their own stuff going on, nobody is perfect, recognizing that fragile state seems to help with being more considerate. I don't have much of a social life anymore except seeing family and people at work, and yeah it's unfortunate, people grow apart.. but it can also be a thing that just happens because we grow older and get different priorities. It can still be hard on me, but I appreciate my family more now then I ever have before, despite having had a lot of trouble and having played the blame game both ways. Things are usually not as bad as they look like.. Sometimes life is frightening one day and the next things suddenly seem a lot better. My point is that things change more often than we like to admit. Maybe just be open about "giving up" and what it really means to you? Someone here told me Adyashanti's advice is to fail on meditation and that seems like a good way of looking at it. How can you give up? Life just goes on and it's likely when you "give up" that you're allowing things to be as they are and accept the pains a bit more. A lot of the advice above from others is really good.. Finding some colour in life, some things to keep on going, because no matter if you give up or not, deep down people like to be at peace and grateful more..

I have been feeling increased activity in dantians during meditation, but seems harder to discipline my mind the last few weeks/month(s) .. Not feeling very well, but hopefully this is a phase that will motivate me to put in more discipline. That could be the whole point of it for me..

Maybe I'm dramatizing.

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I can have that effect, don't feel like you need to answer. It caught my attention and was just wondering about it because I often feel there is a pulling in effect from other people. It's likely a good idea to not get sucked into their stuff, but I guess I haven't set proper boundaries myself.

Does that mean you are trapped/chained to public opinion?

I didn't like the movie, but the quote reminded me not to think too much about the past. We cannot remove all of our memories, well, I don't think.. We can try to do a bit better.

It is not easy, many people thinking and doing things, trying to get us off track or fix us their way.. Even if it's just the reactions we have.. It seems very much like "me vs the world". Seeing yourself as a ghost may not be that bad if it allows you to step outside your mental processes a bit more.. Dr. Ouelet: We cling to memories as if they define us, but they don't. What we do is what defines us. (Ghost in the Shell)

Rara, that kind of faking for business seems acceptable as long as you deliver the goods. I had someone at my door a few months ago and basically she got me to sign a paper to transfer me to a cheaper electricity/gas provider, which would start in August. I called her because I haven't received any notice from the new provider yet, it's just that her phone number doesn't seem to work. Well now, called the new provider and they don't even have my address registered. That makes me worried as she did this small talk with me that ended up in lots of stuff about myself and I wonder what's going on.. Hope they can't do anything to rip me off with my signature and bank number.. I should be more careful next time.

Maybe watch this 3 minute clip someone sent me, might help a little: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ_ZF3w7wgU

Feeling good should likely not be a goal (unless it's directly a goal to induce some state of mind), but we can aim to do our best and feel a sense of positive pride arising because of taking the right actions (inside/outside of meditation).. It's tricky. What we don't do right in our daily activities may merge into our meditation and vice versa, perceived as more blockages. I don't think it can be any other way. Stubbornness makes it hard to be soft.. We need to be flexible and go all in to increase our peace. So I hear from more experienced practitioners, I'm not there myself.. But seems like eventually we all have to go with life or otherwise we get frustrated..