Aetherous

No not necessarily. But I think there are different kinds of bliss, each with its own level. So yeah, a rainbow! Then you take different people who describe things in very different ways...and it can get rather confusing. But of course there is some common ground beneath all of that.

I can do drywall for just the cost of materials. Worked with my dad for a few years.

It sounds awesome. What are the "self sufficient means"? Acquiring that kind of land, and getting the whole thing running will be A LOT of work to do in 10 years. Mucho dinero, too.

I don't really remember, it was years ago. Plus to describe what I do remember is super problematic. But I will do it anyway. When I write this, I'm sure many people will think the experience is contradictory to enlightenment. Even I think it's contradictory to my concept of enlightenment. Whatever, though. Enlightenment to me is a state where you lose the ego, and that's what this was. To give some background: I was doing a somewhat self made practice where you lay down and don't move a muscle besides to breathe and swallow spit, until you reach enlightenment. I was inspired by stories of the Buddha's final night, and also a story from the Bodhidharma about a caged bird lying still. So I laid there and made sure I was conscious of my whole body, and didn't move at all for a few hours. Pain got worse and worse, and towards the end I truly thought I was going to die...I let go, let go, let go and let go...honestly facing my own death and saying "take me or enlighten me" and being 100% willing to die for it, and suddenly... 1) It was like my mind flipped inside out or exploded, then my perspective was entirely different than normal. 2) My awareness seemed to be huge, like encompassing the entire room or more. 3) Energy rushed through my body like a river, through the feet and out the head. At the time I had a faint impression that the energy was God and he was telling me without using words, "You aren't ready yet". 4) I was scared, and thoughts were racing through my mind. I remember trying to hold onto the state somehow yet being terrified. 5) The state lasted maybe 30 seconds. 6) When I came out of it, I couldn't tell if I had just been yelling and screaming or not. I was exhausted, and remained exhausted for like 3 weeks. 7) During it, this is the best way I could describe how I experienced everything: when I was breathing, it was as if the breath was breathing me. A sound that happened outside the room was happening to me. I didn't percieve things like, "I am listening to that sound". The sound was happening AT me. Now, to understand how there was still a me but it was an egoless state: 8) I could still identify myself as my body and all of that, but in the pure experience of it, there wasn't a self. Pretty hard to describe, remember what it was like, or even try to explain to myself, now. To put it simply and most truthfully: it's not what you think it is.

Apology not accepted...see your other thread.

Taking it to PM.

Yes internal arts can be dangerous to a person's health, as well as mental or emotional state. The qigong that old people do isn't powerful enough to cause any harm. They are mostly doing standing slow movements which are always a good thing to do for anyone. Neigong is where the problems can arise...the internal manipulation of the nervous system. Most systems have built in safety mechanisms, but some don't. And some people do their own made up practice. Some people like to push through and ignore warning signs. Even with a good system, the path is still somewhat risky. Seemingly incurable and undiagnosable health problems can arise and stay with you, as a result of the increased energy flow and openness. So it's good to become knowledgeable on other people's bad experiences, as well as how they helped themselves. For instance, someone who meditates a lot can throw their system out of balance, so going to a TCM physician can help them diagnose what's wrong and get the right treatment to restore balance. (true story) Some people think if you push yourself with spiritual practices you'll reach this super healthy state, but try it out yourself and tell me how it works. Some people are lucky and their practice is just right for their condition...so they push the meditation and whatever else and attain a really healthy and perhaps enlightened state. Then take someone else who isn't just like them, do the same thing, and they will start to have health problems and maybe some emotional imbalances, an inability to sleep, lack of digestion.... So it's good that we have forums like this, where everyone can post their experiences. This will give you a good idea of the true results of different practices. www.aypsite.com/forum is a great resource. Much better than assuming what the risks are or aren't.

Same here. It doesn't get much better. Same with a few other artists I don't remember (since I recently got into classical).

What people tell you can always be contested. Asking someone with experience whether the enlightened state lasts or doesn't last will mislead you, even if they tell you the complete truth of their experience. Reach the enlightened state yourself and find the truth. Until you do that, all answers are meaningless. Some true answers can't be discussed without totally confusing people. It's not just a matter of paradox sometimes...sometimes the truth is truly mind blowing and simply cannot be conceptualized. Trying to explain it is futile. It's like someone describing their experience of chocolate to someone who has never tasted it. "So you're telling me it's creamy smooth stick to my tongue bittersweet...?" It will just make no sense. The true taste is indescribable. It must be tasted to be known. The finger pointing at the moon appears to be pointing somewhere else entirely. Imagine yourself pointing at the moon and someone standing beside you...even if you try with all your might to point directly at the moon, by looking straight at your finger and lining it up perfectly, the person beside you will see it from a different angle and it will appear as if you're pointing at the stars or empty space instead. So I guess the best kind of person to explain anything is someone who can put themselves exactly in the questioner's shoes, and then adjust their enlightened finger (descriptions) so that it makes sense to the unenlightened...who can do this?! Anyway just some thoughts. All of this being said, I'm not there yet. But I can tell you one thing: it is possible to achieve an enlightened state and fall from it. Been there done that; through a different practice than kunlun. Maintaining it is the goal that I have. Something entirely hilarious to someone that is enlightened.

I look forward to seeing what you have to share...I'm curious to see what could be so bad about it.

Pranaman, It's nice that you can notice where your deficiencies are. You point out bland and heavy energy in the front channel: very good! "Expressing your inner yang" is a great title for this thread. Why? Let me explain.... Letting energy flow, merging with experience, etc...these are very feminine things. The reason why "expressing your inner yang" is a good title is that you can't become feminine by blocking the masculine. A person MUST express the yang to balance the yin. So in order to flow and merge more, it's essential to allow yourself to be yourself. To truly embrace the yang nature. On the psychological side of things, it can help to write lists of what you want, what you think you should improve or change, goals, etc. Just basically keeping a diary can help sort things out. Often times, unexpressed masculinity is due to confusion. Sort out your desires, be totally honest, and see the areas where you're lacking. For instance you brought up social anxiety. That would be a great example of something you'd probably want to put on your list to change about yourself. Taking notes on yourself is a great way to confront these issues, and stare at them in the face. Then it comes down to changing them. It'll be easier when everything is totally straightened out, and you have actually look at a list of priorities. If dealing with social anxiety is on the top of the list, then naturally that's where more of your energy will go. Now, dealing with the physiological side...focus on stretching your front channel. For an unstructured approach, you can do backbends, and bridges. Do light abdominal breathing for 10 mins a day, or something. Bending to the side with your arm over your head can help too. More importantly, you've noticed an issue with the area, and I'm sure if you follow your intuition you'll be guided to do what's best regarding it. (Personally, I have found that kunlun really works on the front channel, especially in the beginning stages. But that's not for everyone.)

How could your throat chakra go below your stomach??

What chi kung were you doing?

I'm going to check out your site. Thanks for putting yourself out there for free.

I think this answer will vary with the practitioners...so it'll be misleading at best.

It was cool to read that story Michael, thanks.

I looked into it this morning. You can download Hand of God as a torrent and not pay the 200 bucks. I will probably try it some time soon...even though I'm not into binaural stuff, and especially binaural drug stuff, haha. There are people out there who say this is a big scam.

Let go of it.

Maybe it doesn't work like you're assuming.

Yo Flow.

I would do Chinese Medicine if I were you. It may help you take care of your father if you decide to come back to the states, in addition to helping you with your own cultivation practice.

How can anyone claim to know all of what's happened in Taoism throughout all of history? Not that I believe Taoism has included transmissions. I really don't know. But how can you know? Also...what is "real" Taoism? Living in a temple in China, wearing robes, doing certain rituals, reading certain books? I would claim that is "fake" Taoism.

I've been thinking of going to the local graveyard to practice in the middle of the night. It'd be peaceful and secluded. I don't think spirits could do anything to me, if there are any spirits.