Aetherous

May your wish come true, then.

I'm not at all qualified to discuss the subject with you, but simply as one person to another...why do you accept this demon as possessing you? That seems at least to me to be 90% of the problem right there. A passive approach to your life, by just accepting what happens to you. Why not just kick it out and don't accept it back in, and pray for protection for yourself and others? Maybe I'm being dumb here...I see that you have tried things to get rid of it, so you're not entirely to blame for your problems. Regardless, thanks for sharing such personal aspects of our path, and best of luck.

Lets talk about this, if we can. Is this a primary goal of the occult? What does it entail? What disqualifies someone from being said to have attained this? Are there stages of this? Do Eastern traditions have a similar attainment? Or any other info.

Asking oneself this question is a most important thing. The answers are not the same for all people. And people change, therefore so do the personalized answers. Since that's the case, it's something to continually ask oneself. Every day, or week, or month...checking in with how you feel about what is and what could be in your life to make it good. Knowing what you want out of life is the first step toward getting it.

Yeah I thought your posting of that song was brilliant.

Very nice.

Take care of your financial obstacle. Those spiritual teachings are half true at best...in my opinion, what we do in life has the biggest consequence on the state of our being. Take care of what needs to be taken care of, rather than attempting to ignore real life stuff. Also, it seems that you're making the problem worse by assuming various things...such as people being able to pick up on this grief, which causes you to try and hide it (which of course makes it worse, and pathological), and you believing that it comes out when you speak, etc. The solution to this, is to deny these beliefs and just drop them...do what needs to be done, and don't worry. You need to speak...why think about subtle energetics; just speak and forget about that stuff. What you believe is true can become true in your own perception...so have control over your perceptions, rather than having false beliefs run amok. If a person confronts you about your grief, then just tell the truth...it's normal for people to have feelings. Sometimes what's perceived as grief is really a state of calmness, too. Sometimes a person just has the "resting bitch face". So if someone thinks you look sad, that's just one opinion. Another person might think you look calm. Or another might think you're cool. Don't base your perceptions of yourself on the varying perceptions of others. So yeah my basic message: do what's necessary...be wary of being controlled by delusion, just forget about it. Also, look into doing the 9 round breathing, or 9 purification breaths, from Buddhism. That can help with emotions. But don't rely on it...it's not like any one thing can completely rid you of your feelings. You wouldn't even want that. To feel is to be alive and human. Rise up to the challenge of being alive, rather than feeling run down by these things. In Buddhism they say that it's a mental poison to be attached to feeling good, and to be averse from feeling bad. Of course everyone has a natural aversion to it...but the aversion itself, as Jetsun said, can lead to feeling worse.

Yes anatomically (for the most part), but in Chinese Medicine throughout the entire body it's related to the left side. Tongue diagnosis, liver is on the left. Abdominal diagnosis, liver is on the left. Facial diagnosis, liver is on the left. Pulse diagnosis, liver is on the left. Etc. "Liver" in Chinese Medicine doesn't exactly correspond to the anatomical or Western understanding liver all of the time. So to have a pattern of liver qi stagnation, it doesn't necessarily mean they have a liver disease in the typical understanding, such as cirrhosis for instance. Different models of correspondences.

Thinking about this again...perhaps another thing to try is seeing a Chinese Medicine practitioner to treat "plum pit qi".

From where I stand right now.....the soul absolutely exists, and part of it is about your sense of virtue and humanity. Cultivate those types of things and you cultivate the soul. Some Buddhists will say that there isn't a soul, and that all is impermanent and what seems like a soul is just an illusion...but what about the buddha nature? I think that's a direct correlation to the idea of "the divine spark" or the seed of the soul within each person.

I think it's the opposite. But there are different models (ways of making correspondences) being spoken of in this thread, so that could become confusing.

Left side in CM diagnosis relates to the Liver. This is currently the spring, the time of the Liver...perhaps because it's more pronounced at the moment is the reason why you're asking about this at this time. Feeling heavy can mean dampness typically...but if we're talking about Liver it could also mean a qi stagnation symptom, which is incredibly common. Not enough free flow to feel light. Also, one sided phenomenon can be a shaoyang sign...in this case maybe gallbladder (Liver's pair). So perhaps the liver and gallbladder can do with some free flow. Walking is a basic thing to do to help the Liver. Laughter qigong could help relieve tension...or whatever other method that releases the mind and emotions. Stretching the IT band a lot, as well, since that's roughly the gallbladder area. Just some ideas.

Yes, depending on what we're talking about in saying "the occult", the goals and methods would vary. One person's trash is another person's occult. I was partly asking if illumination is a commonly known goal in many occult or esoteric circles. If we research the occult on google of all places, or the newage section of the local bookstore, we don't typically see it referenced as the main theme. But is it? The occult is hard to know, by definition. To answer 9th plainly...the occult (I think) has to do with Western mysteries/magick high and low/esoteric methods and philosophies/and other similarly related topics. Occult basically means "hidden", so those things that most people don't won't or can't know. What is illumination...well I don't really have any legitimate idea...only barely educated guesses. The word implies that it has to do with "light", and with a change in oneself that's related specifically to light. When I saw it referenced the other day in another thread, the person was talking about how someone being illuminated could cause them to see or know all sorts of things that are atypical. For instance, seeing energy rather than just physical reality.

Do practices such as meditation. When you start to feel the bliss within, pay attention to that feeling. That's the oneness. All of your doubts and conceptions are not it.

Recently got a komo grain mill, which are expensive machines but much better than the other mill I had earlier in the thread. So I grind up organic white winter whole wheat. Here is a basic bread recipe that tends to work for me, which was really challenging to figure out... 4 cups of fresh milled whole wheat flour (red winter wheat will provide a better rise, which you will definitely want...whole wheat is heavier and therefore has a harder time rising) 2.5 teaspoons of salt ...whisk salt into the flour 1 teaspoon active dry yeast 1 tablespoon white sugar 1 cup of 110 degree Fahrenheit water ...whisk together in a separate bowl or cup and let sit for 5-10 minutes to proof combine yeast-sugar-water into bowl of salt-flour, and add small amounts of water and mix it in, until it's a pretty damn wet consistency (whole wheat flour needs much more moisture than normal recipes). If I'm being lazy, I just make it pretty soupy so that it's all actually like a liquid that can be poured. Other times, I get a really really wet yet not liquidy version. Eventually I'll get a kitchen scale and figure out the correct percentage of water to use...as well as use a banneton coated with rice flour, which can help with high moisture doughs by causing the top/outside to dry faster while rising. Cover bowl with plastic wrap and let sit for 12-18 hours. The small amount of yeast is because of this long rise (leaves more sugars for the yeast to consume...if there is more yeast, the sugars will be gone then the yeast will stop the rising). This step makes it like a fake sourdough, by doing a long soak, in terms of transforming the phytic acid so as to make the bread more nutritious and digestible. Freshly ground grains can have more phytase, which will further help break down the phytic acid. Perhaps I will also mill some rye berries, since that's the grain with the most phytase...and just add a small amount of that into the recipe to give a further boost to the phytic acid breakdown. After the rising time is up, put it into a cast iron crockpot that's been in the oven while it was reaching the max temperature, lets say 475 degrees. It's been in there about 20-30 minutes. If the dough is all soupy, I just pour it into the hot crockpot. If I were using a banneton, I'd have parchment paper on top, then flip the banneton over and lift the parchment paper's edges, and lower it into the crockpot. Then cover it, and put it in the oven for 30 minutes. The covered crockpot creates steam on the inside with the watery dough, which provides for a better rise by not drying out the crust first. After the 30 minutes is up, take a look at the crust. If it's darker, I do like 5 more minutes without the crockpot lid. If it's lighter tan on top, I do 10-15 more minutes without the lid. Make sure it doesn't burn, of course. Then you have a pretty decent round loaf of 100% whole wheat. Take it out of the crockpot and let it cool on a cooling rack. Be sure to wait at least as long as it took to bake it, before slicing into it. Patience. Also be sure to try it right away after that, with butter...because it will be good for your soul. Using the banneton...then getting into issues of scoring the loaf correctly with a razor to help with the rise...measuring ingredients with the kitchen scale to get precise measurements...getting the timing just right depending on ambient temperature, so that the yeast is at its peak of activity, and will still rise in the oven...these are more challenging aspects, that can be worked on later. Apart from those, what I've figured out is something that's definitely workable for a healthy bread...unlike most 100% whole wheat recipes. Comes out with good air pockets, tastes good, crispy crust. This was the best resource I found on the subject of whole wheat breads.

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If you're prostrating to some being such as an external Buddha, then it can seem like giving away your power, or being submissive in the negative sense. It can help if you consider it as prostrating to your own Buddha-nature. It's still surrendering, but it's surrender the lesser (such as negative emotions) to the greater (such as beneficial feelings, like loving-kindness for all)...which only makes sense. It helps to receive more legitimate teachings so that the practice will make more sense...such as knowing what the Buddha-nature is, for instance that a quality it has is unconditional loving-kindness.

I'd say that dogs are yang and cats are yin...in the reactions of the animals, it seems that the person would be high yin and low yang.

That's all I'm saying.

Nah, one that I knew was okay to begin with.

All jokes aside, I hope the bums who started training with this guy are okay...

Perhaps everything is like a sand mandala.

How dare thee!

I keep a private collection of yours.